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George hadn’t fallen asleep in the car since he was a little kid.
Of course, Dream and Sapnap didn't know that. A glance at the rear view mirror would only reveal George curled against the window, hugging his arms to his chest, the purr of the Tesla's motor lulling him gently to sleep. This was the first time they'd ever been in the car together for this long, just the three of them. George's chronic sleepiness was never a surprise to anyone, so for all they knew, he could've been the type to sleep through any road trip longer than an hour.
But he wasn't the type. He rode exclusively as a passenger, sure, even let the feeling soothe him into resting his eyes before, but he never outright fell asleep. He preferred to watch the world pass by out the window, maybe zone out or offer the occasional playlist to amp up the mood on the drive. As much as he was known for his tiredness, he always preferred the privacy of his own room.
He knew something was up when even the upbeat hip-hop music blasting through the car speakers did nothing to jostle him from the heavy, comfortable feeling of leaning his head against the dark window. The streetlights passed across his face, his sleepy eyes illuminated by the flickering orange glow. Dream and Sapnap were chattering in the front seats, still buzzing with energy from the weekend’s events. They’d driven down state to the Gulf Coast, eager for a break from the regular scenery of their home city.
Not that any of it was regular for George yet. The past month since moving to the States had been exciting, albeit a little overwhelming. Everything was new and fresh and unfamiliar, and while he couldn’t be happier living with his two best friends for the undetermined future (undetermined translating to forever in their minds), the stress was admittedly starting to creep forward from where he’d tucked it in the back of his mind. The security of being with his favorite people settled over his brain like a warm blanket, wrapping him in a particular fuzzy feeling. George closed his eyes and allowed the car to rock him to sleep.
“Think I’m gonna have to pull over soon,” Dream said, reaching over to turn the stereo down.
Sapnap hummed in response, looking away from the window so that Dream could see his face out of the corner of his eye. “Tired?”
“No.” Dream blinked at the road stretched ahead of them, testing his eyes to be sure the glaze of fatigue hadn’t settled over them. If he really needed to sleep, he would pull over at a rest stop for a few hours and doze until morning, or give Sapnap a turn behind the wheel. Thanks to their already nocturnal sleep schedules, though, he was wide awake. “Bathroom.”
“Oh.” Sapnap reached a hand out and tapped on the screen in the middle of the Tesla’s console, illuminating them with blue light from the GPS map display. “Should be a gas station off this next exit. I could use a Monster.”
Dream nodded, giving his fingers a stretch before curling them around the wheel again. The stereo volume rose to normal level again without him having to ask, his playlist shuffling into a Juice WRLD song that brought back the mellow ambience of their late-night drive.
When he pulled into the brightly-lit parking lot of the first Wawa off their exit, he remembered that the back seat was occupied. He grimaced slightly at himself for forgetting George was there; it wasn’t that he didn’t care to acknowledge it, he just wasn’t used to having his closest friends in close proximity all the time yet. The past month had been nothing short of perfect from where he stood, and he hoped the others felt the same way. But it would take awhile to remember that instead of calling George on Discord when he wanted to talk about everything and nothing in the middle of the night, he could just walk down the hall and knock. He still did it with Sapnap, too, texted him to ask how his stream had gone when the man was less than twenty feet down the hall.
“George, you want anything from here?” He furrowed his brow, eyes busy looking for the nearest parking space that wouldn’t make him squeeze the Tesla between two other vehicles. He was met with silence, and he was just about to repeat his question when Sapnap snorted softly.
“He’s asleep.”
Dream didn’t have to look over to hear the fondness in Sapnap’s voice. He finally pulled into a spot and put the vehicle in park, tugging his keys from the ignition. He turned to see Sapnap twisted around, eyeing George’s sleeping figure in the darkness of the backseat. Under the gas station lights, George’s face was visible, at least the part of it that wasn’t covered by the sleeve of his hoodie held almost protectively against his cheek. He looked peaceful, his body slumped against the window in a true relaxed stance that would probably end up leaving a crick in his neck.
“See if you can get him to wake up and actually lay down.” Dream’s hand flew to his seatbelt, releasing himself from the constraints as quick as he could get the door open. He wasn’t eager to spend more time off the road than necessary, not when they were so close to being home in their own beds. “He’s gonna be sore sleeping like that for too long.”
He didn’t stick around to see if his request was honored, dashing out of the vehicle and through the gas station doors. Sapnap turned to face forward again just enough to unbuckle his own seatbelt, using his knees as leverage to lean over the back of his seat. “George,” he stage-whispered, reaching back to gently shake the man’s shoulder. “Dude, wake up.”
He received a sleepy mumble in return, George’s nose scrunching up at the request. His hoodie sleeve passed over his face a little more, enough for George to rub his knuckles into his eyes. When they popped open to blink drearily at Sapnap’s face peering around the back of the seat, the fog was clear in his gaze. “What for?”
Sapnap didn’t answer at first; surely George hadn’t been asleep long enough to look so out of it, he’d been cracking jokes and queuing songs on the playlist not thirty minutes prior. Maybe he was more tired than he let on? He looked like he was hanging on the edge of dozing off again just in the few moments of silence that passed between them.
“Uh...” Sapnap blinked, taking his arm back. “Was just gonna say, you should stretch out back there. It’s gotta be more comfortable than leaning up against the door.”
George shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve again. It looked like he could barely hold his head up, cheek pressing against the glass with no mind for their conversation. The movement of his sleeve brought one of his hoodie strings up, close enough to brush against his lips, close enough for George to seamlessly take it into his mouth and begin to chew on the fabric tip like it had been offered to him for that purpose. He gnawed at it with his front teeth, lips slightly parted in his relaxation, and that’s as long as it took for Sapnap to realize.
It had been a couple years since George had confided in him about the amount of stress he was under in day to day life. He knew that university was no joke, sure, especially for a computer sciences major, but George hadn’t been handling it well. His sleep schedule was destroyed, he ate nothing but fast food and the occasional bowl of bar peanuts when he went out on the weekends, and he was barely online those days for lack of free time between assignments. And in a string of sleepy ramblings while they ran around a random Minecraft seed together, George admitted that he’d found a coping mechanism that seemed to work for him when nothing else could get through the wall of stress up in his brain.
Age regression, he’d called it, explaining in his own words while he sent Sapnap an online summary or two upon the younger man’s request. It had taken several questions before Sapnap felt he understood well enough to picture George doing something like that in his free time, and George went into as much detail as asked of him just because he’d been tired enough to drop all inhibitions about the topic. Dream had been in the call as well, though popping in and out of conversation due to some coding of his own he’d been working on, and while he had asked less questions than Sapnap, he seemed to understand anyways.
It hadn’t come up much since then; George didn’t seem like he wanted to share anything further with them, aside from a few nights where he’d mentioned being unable to attend a stream or even hang out on call because he needed to “wind down”. Really, neither of them would have minded if George had been on their sleep calls in such a headspace, or even hung out on a private server where they could just enjoy themselves away from thousands of viewers. But neither of them ever said as much, and George never asked.
The more he thought about it, watching George chew on the hoodie string in a way that seemed even lethargic, the higher the possibility seemed that that’s what was happening. George was under way more stress these days than he had been in school as a quietly struggling computer geek, for obvious reasons. Moving to a whole other continent probably hadn’t helped. George hadn’t mentioned de-stressing in such a way since he’d arrived in Florida, but maybe that’s what he did at night behind closed doors. Or maybe he’d been holding himself back from it, and that’s why they had found themselves in such a position on a highway that still stretched so far from home.
“George, buddy?” Sapnap spoke carefully, waiting for his words to urge the other’s eyes open. He needed to be careful, ease into the idea in case this really was just a matter of George being tired. He didn’t want to risk making things too awkward. He swallowed when a pair of eyes met his, still with that same dazed expression. “Are you, um... small right now?”
A beat of silence, painful, awkward silence; Sapnap could practically see the gears turning behind George’s eyes. And suddenly, those eyes welled up with tears. Sapnap internally cringed, watching the other’s lips press together to ineffectively hide a wobble. “No, hey, it’s okay,” he rushed out, his lungs feeling shallow at the sight. Before even waiting for a response, he threw his own door open and slid into the back, scooting right to the middle. “C’mon, don’t cry.”
George already had his face pressed into the palms of his hands, his too-long sleeves soaking up any tears that slipped out. Sapnap only hesitated for a moment before slipping his arm around the other’s shaking frame, letting George take the silent invitation to lean into him. His hand moved in hopefully soothing circles over his friend’s shoulder, willing the pitiful snuffling to quiet down.
“Sap...” George croaked out finally, his gaze still turned down towards his own lap as he rubbed the tears from his face. His words were barely murmured, slurring together in a sleepy quality that definitely sounded more than just tired. “...’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for, huh?” Sapnap continued rubbing his arm, desperate now to provide any and all comfort. It made his chest ache to see his friend in any kind of distress, even if he didn’t feel equipped at all to handle it. George was the least likely of any of them to be brought to tears or any other intense display of emotion, but here he was now, openly crying and curled into Sapnap’s side. “You’re fine, George, it’s okay.”
“You shouldn’t have to... to deal with me like this...” George’s hands curled into fists, fabric bunched in his fingers. He spoke slowly, seeming to pick each syllable one-by-one as he went. He turned his blush-red face upwards, still tear-streaked but clearly pleading for his words to be understood as they were.
Sapnap shook his head immediately, squeezing George closer in a one-armed hug. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay, bud.” He shifted in his seat so he could properly embrace the boy, letting George tuck his face into the crook of his neck.
“Didn’t mean to,” George muttered into his shoulder, sniffling softly.
“Didn’t mean to what?” Sapnap rubbed his back, glancing briefly towards the front of the car to see if Dream was headed back yet. Maybe he could handle this on his own just fine, but it would soothe his own nerves to have someone else help navigate the unfamiliarity of it all. No luck; the parking lot was still empty.
“To slip.” George huffed a breath through his nose, his voice the slightest bit whiny. It still took a few seconds for the word to get through Sapnap’s head, his brain racking through all the vaguely unfamiliar terminology he’d read through years ago, but then it finally clicked. He really needed to do more research in case this ever happened again.
For now, he shook his head, a sigh leaving his lips. “We’ll figure it out, George, it’s okay,” he murmured, their bodies pressed tight enough together that he barely had to speak above a whisper. “Do you wanna go back to sleep?”
George shrugged a shoulder, but didn’t have time to answer before the sound of the doors unlocking broke through the moment. Both of their heads snapped up, landing on Dream walking towards the car with his keys and a shopping bag in hand. “It’s okay,” Sapnap repeated before George could say a word, feeling a hand grab onto his sleeve. “We’ll just tell him, alright? He won’t be mad.”
Even if George wanted to argue, he didn’t have a second to do it; Dream’s keys jangled as he yanked the driver’s side door open, leaning in to drop the bag between the seats. “I got some snacks, in case we-“ He stopped short, his eyes landing on the pair in the back seat: one of them obviously stressed, the other with his face hidden almost childishly behind the sleeves of his hoodie. “Guys? What’s wrong?”
Sapnap bit his lip, looking down at the sliver of George’s face he could still see, flushed with shame over the situation despite it being out of his control. He cleared his throat, making pointed eye contact with Dream in the front seat. “He’s... younger right now, sorta?” He said lamely, gesturing towards George still tucked under his arm. “Like, his brain is... He’s not really-“
“He’s regressed?” Dream’s voice was noticeably lower than it had been before he entered the car, and he reached over to pull his door shut, still balanced on the seat with his knees. “George, you okay? Look at me?”
Sapnap blinked, feeling both relieved and like he was being left out of some inside conversation that had happened outside of the car. “How did you know?”
“I mean, I didn’t know for sure, but look at him...” Dream motioned towards George’s revealed features, looking close to tears again with his shoulders hunched in a way that made him feel just so small in Sapnap’s embrace. Like all he could ask for right now was comfort even though that sort of request was usually unheard of for him. Sapnap gave into the urge to pull him closer again, leaning his cheek atop the boy’s head. He exhaled a deep breath.
“He’s okay. Right, George?” He couldn’t help but smile at the nod beneath his chin, relief pouring over him at just the simple affirmation. It seemed to have the same effect on Dream, a flicker of a smile teasing across his lips as the concern melted from his expression. “He’s got us.”
“Got you,” George confirmed in the smallest voice Sapnap had ever heard from him, thankfully free of the tearfulness it had carried before. Even though George was taller (by barely an inch or two, barely), he leaned easily into Sapnap’s chest, less hiding his face as much as searching for further comfort from the contact.
Dream started the car, and Sapnap reached for his own seat belt, silent confirmation passing between the three that this would be their arrangement for the rest of the car ride. The stereo was left turned down this time, their playlist conveniently switching to something closer to lo-fi. Sapnap clicked his seat belt and met Dream’s eyes in the rear view mirror. “Should we find a hotel for the night?” the blonde asked quietly, already pulling out of the Wawa parking lot and onto the main road again.
Sapnap glanced down. George’s eyes were shut again, his hoodie string back between his lips and his face relaxed into the easy expression it held before anxiety had hit them both. The two were much closer than they were used to, neither of them the type to cuddle on a casual basis, but Sapnap found that the weight of his friend’s head on his chest was almost comforting. He could still feel the grip of George’s fingers on his sleeve. “Nah,” he shook his head finally, looking away again. “We should be fine if you wanna keep going.”
A simple nod, and then Dream turned his focus towards the road ahead, the ghost of a fond smile still lingering on his face. They’d definitely need to talk about this later, figure out what George needed from them to avoid such sudden distress in the future, but they were all content for now. Whatever George needed, they were there to take care of him; and that would never change.