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He hadn’t believed in ghosts. He had no need to believe in all those things supernatural, especially with a twin who believes- believed enough for him seven times over. It must’ve been Remus who had told him that ghosts come calling when you play their favorite songs (no one else besides Virgil would probably hold any stock in such information), and so it was for multiple Remus related reasons that Roman was here. He was here because his legs refused to carry him home, he was here because of the crash, he was here because he couldn’t leave Remus alone, and he was here clinging to the desperation that blared from his brother’s phone.
The rain was slowly freezing his face and each heavy drop was trying to urge him to leave, but he kept promising Remus that he’d give it one more song- one more chance. But with each chord he felt his hope die just a bit more. Then again… what hope was there to be had? The reality was Remus was dead. And here he was laying on his twin’s fresh grave li-
Thoughts fell to the wayside as tears wracked his body and a sob escaped his lips yet again. Tears were supposed to be interrupted by Remus calling him a weird name that made no sense and dragging him off to do something that they would both regret. That’s how it’s supposed to be… that’s…
He didn’t have anyone to do that now. All he could do was watch his tears fall down, soaking into the soil below, along with the rain, now impossible to tell which was which. All he could do was imagine arms around him, tugging at him roughly but somehow endearingly, think of all the names that Remus would call him right now, cry more at the reminders. He let his brother’s phone drop to the ground, a mix of his sobs and the pitter patter of rain drowning out the music.
Maybe he could lie down here and let the rain drown him as well. It wasn’t as if he had much to lose - at least that way, he’d be with Remus again, and everything would be fine, right back to normal. But instead, he just wrapped his arms around himself, closing his eyes in an attempt to halt his tears, trying to believe that Remus was still there, that things could be perfect again in this life, that maybe it had all just been a bad dream. That maybe once the playlist was over, he’d just wake back up in his bed, Remus banging loudly on the door, demanding attention, and Roman would huff and puff and fake annoyance but he’d go out to see Remus anyway and do anything he wanted, because in the end his brother was all that really mattered.
At first, he didn’t notice the dirt shifting beneath him. Or maybe he did, but his brain refused to acknowledge it, far too preoccupied with his breakdown. At this point he’s completely tuned out the music still playing out of the phone, now abandoned on the floor, half covered in mud. It wasn’t until he felt an… odd presence besides him that he even noticed anything had changed. The air grew even colder, if that was even possible, and the rain seemed to clear up, slightly, turning into a mist as he reached the ground.
The song finally registered in Roman’s mind. It was a tune he recognised, a melody that he recalled Remus humming all the time, lyrics that almost embodied his brother, a baseline that synced up with his heartbeat. It slowly faded out, the song coming to a close, along with all sound in the area, even the pitter patter of rain disappearing. He uncurled himself and looked up, and the entire world stopped , because there he was .
His brother.
Exactly the same as he’d left him.
It was his fault.
Roman drove Remus home that night. Roman wasn’t a bad driver, per say - compared to Remus, he was actually really fucking good - but he was known to be… reckless, and never really thought that far ahead. It was late at night, the road was dark, nearly empty, he thought he’d be safe enough to drive a little faster than usual, just to get home. He was already tired, and as much as he loved his brother, he could also be insufferable at times, especially this late at night, when he had far too much energy than what should have been humanly possible.
And right now he was screaming at the top of his lungs, the lyrics to whatever song he’d forced Roman to listen to, and it was distracting and annoying and all Roman wanted him to do was-
“Shut up!” Immediate silence from Remus, though the song continued to play from his phone. “I’m trying to drive here, Jesus-“
“Don’t you like my singing?” Remus asked, innocently.
Roman’s grip tightened on the wheel. “It’s annoying. And too loud.”
Remus let out an offended noise, though he didn’t actually sound upset - more playful. Soon enough, he was draping himself closer to Roman, leaning on his shoulder as he drove. “I-“
Before thinking, Roman shoved Remus off him, and in doing so looked away from the road, glaring at Remus. “Seriously, I’m not in the mood for your antics right now, you can be insufferable sometimes-“
“Roman-”
“No, I’m not done. I had to come out here to pick you up at two in the goddamn morning when I could be sleeping and now you’re just here trying to make sure I have the worst night possible-“
“Seriously, Roman, look-!”
“Stop-”
Roman wasn’t entirely sure what happened next. He remembered feeling the car collide with something, hearing glass breaking, seeing flashes of fire, and then nothing.
He woke up in the hospital a couple days later. His parents informed him that there had been an accident, that they’d crashed, that Roman was lucky he even made it out.
And that Remus hadn’t been so lucky.
Roman threw himself at his brother and they both crashed to the mud they lay in. Tears and sobs were escaping Roman as he shouted apology after apology after apology. He needed to make sure he said his piece- he needed to make sure Remus knew that he was sorry for every word he had spoken that night- he needed Remus to know just in case this wasn’t real.
“I’m sorry Remus,” he said again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It should have been me- I wasn’t looking at the road and you even warned me but I ignored you. I-” As his body wracked with a sob, words fell to the wayside and he instead dug his fingers into Remus’ wet jacket to let his actions do the talking. He wasn’t sure how long they lay there in the mud, but when his tears had run out Roman forced his aching body to rise off of Remus and to extend his brother a hand to stand beside him. Remus said nothing- he had said nothing since he appeared beside Roman- but he grabbed the hand regardless. Remus moved slowly but Roman pulled his brother to his feet. He couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he stepped back to look Remus over - to look over the brother that should be dead. He was smiling and living but that feeling crashed the moment it came when Remus lunged. Roman moved slowly in confusion but later he would be thankful for the layers he was wearing. Because it was to the thanks of them that Remus’ teeth didn’t rip into his flesh.
Self preservation kicked in a moment too late and Roman shoved Remus off of him and took a few steps back, putting distance between them. His heart was beating ten times fast as he looked at Remus- really looked at Remus. His veins were popping out a strange deep red- nearly black, something which shouldn’t be possible for a person who shouldn’t have any blood running through his veins- how was he even- was he a… Roman didn’t want to finish that line of thought. He gulped down a breath as he took another step backwards, and then another. He wanted to run- to sprint as far away as he could but this was Remus. His twin. His brother. His everything. He couldn’t leave him behind. Not again. Never again.
“Remus,” he called gently.
Remus took a step towards him and this time Roman didn’t move.
Roman gave a shaky smile, “Come on Re, let’s go home.”
Remus gave a low inhuman groan in response and shuffled closer and forced himself to swallow and keep the smile on his face. This was Remus. Remus. Remus first. Something else after.
There was quiet. An impossible quiet lay across the cemetery as if sounds outside of it had all been extinguished for this moment. Remus shuffled forward and Roman stepped back. Shuffle. Step. Shuffle. Step. It was a strange high tension dance which kept Roman moving as they headed for the way he had come in. He wasn’t sure what he would do once they were free of the graveyard, bringing home both seemed like a dream and impossible due to his state, but at the same time Roman didn’t want to be here any longer. Because if Remus had woken after dying a week previous, it wouldn’t exactly be impossible to say that the others in the graves were there to stay.
Roman’s shoes squelched with every step taken, and his body was wet and cold, but neither of those were things to focus on as he reached the gate and easily climbed over. He stepped back and watched as Remus simply walked forward directly into the gate before he gave a groan as if in frustration. Roman bit the inside of his mouth as he looked around them for another way, but the rest of the stone fence was lined with large bushes that he couldn’t climb over. Theoretically he could easily go back over and give Remus a boost since it wasn’t a high gate, it only came up to his torso, but to help Remus over… he’d have to get closer. He gave a swallow at the thought as Remus continued to shuffle back and forward into the gate, rattling it slightly and broadcasting the sound to whomever may possibly be listening. Roman took a deep breath as he peeled off his jacket and held a sleeve in each hand. He shoved it out in front him as he took his careful steps forward and watched those near lifeless eyes watch him. Remus had stopped trying to move forward as if trying to figure out what was going on, but Roman ignored that as much as he could as moved to hop over the gate. The moment his feet were on the ground Remus lunged but Roman was prepared and shoved the balled part of the jacket into his twin’s open maw. Thankfully, Remus was slow as ever on the uptake which allowed Roman to circle him and quickly tie the sleeves together behind Remus’ head fastening the gag.
Remus turned to him looking as annoyed as a z- as he could before he reached out to Roman, who hurriedly ducked out of the way and instead reached for Remus’ legs. It was more of a process than he would have liked, that Roman could admit. But finally after what felt like ages, both of them were over the gate. And now he needed to figure out what to do next, and currently his number of options seemed fixed at zero. Roman gave a sigh as he started down the sidewalk and Remus slowly followed. He could only pray that winging it would be enough.
At least it was still late at night - not many people were out and about at this time, so… he had at least a few hours to figure out what the fuck he was going to do with Remus. His brother was still inside there, somewhere, maybe he’d come back to his senses soon enough. If he ignored the ‘dead’ part, it wasn’t like Remus had changed that much, he’d always been a little weird, this was exactly the kind of shit that Remus would do to try and scare Roman. The only difference was that he wasn’t trying to scare Roman, he was just like that now, apparently.
Roman could deal with this. It would be fine. His brother would never intentionally hurt him, not drastically, and this was still his brother, so he was safe. Soon enough, things would be normal again.
He glanced behind him as he walked, still hearing Remus grunt every now and then but needing to know he was actually there. It was slow moving, their journey in the direction of home, but perhaps that was the time Remus needed to come to his senses.
“Everyone misses you, y’know,” Roman said, breaking the silence. He couldn’t deal with the silence - which was sort of ironic, considering wanting silence was what got him in this mess in the first place. But he didn’t want to think about that. He still felt like he needed to apologize to Remus, a million times over, and then another thousand more, but until Remus with more with it , he didn’t think he’d be getting very far. All in good time, right? Just talking to him like normal should be the right way to go.
But Remus wasn’t replying. Not even a grunt in his direction. His eyes were vacant, expression distant, still staring at Roman but with some sort of hunger that Roman really didn’t want to think about. He wasn’t even sure if his words were going in.
He still had to try. “We all missed you. Everyone will be so happy to see you back, even like… that. I know, um, what happened must have done a number on you, you need some time to adjust and everything, right?”
No response. Roman gulped and looked ahead again, electing instead to just listen to Remus’ footsteps to ensure he was still following. It was an odd pattern, not like how he remembered - no bounce to his step, more like he was shuffling. Limping. But at least it was there - at least Roman wasn’t walking along the path alone. He took in a deep breath, trying not to think about how shaky it was, and shoved his hands in his pockets. It would still be a long walk home, longer than usual given Remus’ condition. The cool night air was somewhat relaxing, better than the rain from earlier.
“Did you miss us as well?” Roman asked, fully aware that he was likely just speaking to the air, though he did receive a grunt through the gag in response that time. Whether the grunt was directed at Roman, or even a confirmation, Roman didn’t know, but he decided to interpret it as such. He let out a small huff of laughter. “Of course you did. It was weird, not being with you. Can’t imagine how you must’ve felt when…”
Nope. Not finishing that train of thought.
“When I take that off you, you’ll need to tell me what you want to do first,” Roman said instead. “And who you want to see first.”
Assuming that Remus would have gained the ability to actually speak by then. Surely he was just… getting used to the whole thing. Yeah. He’d been- He’d been gone for a week or so now, it would make sense that he’d need time to adjust, like a newborn baby. Hopefully quicker than a newborn, but- Well, it would be okay, eventually. He just needed a little bit of time.
Roman turned down a side alley, figuring that it may be best to stay away from any main roads, just in case there was anyone around. He wasn’t entirely sure how Remus would react to seeing another person - given his reaction to seeing Roman, he assumed it couldn’t be good. Which may be a problem, he really didn’t want his brother to go around trying to eat people. His lips perked up a little at that thought, though, because that was exactly the kind of thing that Remus would joke about - pretending to be a cannibal, trying to scare Roman. Yeah, Roman could very easily pretend that this was just the regular old Remus, just… messing with him.
Until he couldn’t. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that this situation was very bad, but…
No. He didn’t want to think about that.
Roman turned around to check on Remus again, and his heart nearly stopped when he noticed that Remus was very much not following him anymore. He cursed under his breath, eyes scanning the area for any signs of him, beginning to walk back the direction that he came from. He found his brother staring into a dark window, one hand clawing against it, letting out deep growls to cover up the sound of his nails scratching against the glass. Part of Roman was relieved to see that Remus was still there, still real , not lost, but most of him was still panicking because what the fuck was he doing?
“Hey, Re, c’mon, that’s not our house,” he said, trying to remain as calm as possible. He took a few, tentative steps closer, reaching out then drawing his hand back. What if-
No, no. Remus wasn’t going to hurt him. That was his brother, his brother wouldn’t hurt him, and- and besides! He still had that gag on! He couldn’t hurt him even if he wanted to!
So Roman pushed forward, reaching out for Remus’ hand, ready to pull him back and continue his journey.
Instead of pulling Remus away, all he managed to get was his hand.
His… hand.
What the fuck.
Roman let out a shout, probably alerting the surrounding sleeping residents of his presence, and let Remus’ fucking hand drop to the floor. It wiggled around a little, scurrying back towards Remus. Remus finally turned away from the window, eyes locking on the hand, and slowly crouched down, picking the hand up and putting it back in place. Which- Okay, that was… fine. He was fine. His hand was back in place, everything was normal, but what the fuck .
“Alright, um, let’s… not do that again,” Roman said, his voice only a little bit shaky. “Let’s just… C’mon, Re, let’s get you home, and not pull your hand off again-“
He started to walk again, slower, and Remus continued to follow him. Once he was certain that Remus was still following him and not getting… distracted, he began to move just a little bit faster, in an attempt to get out of this neighbourhood before he caused too much suspicion. Maybe the main road wasn’t the worst idea - sure, there’d be way more people, but Remus could probably just pass as being drunk or something, and it would be a faster way home.
He still wasn’t sure what he was actually going to do with Remus when they made it home. He wasn’t sure if he could just let him loose in the house, but… what else was he meant to do? Tie him up? Lock him in the basement?
…Part of him thought that wasn’t too bad of a plan. At least then it was certain that everyone would be safe, given Remus’ sudden hunger for human flesh, but at the same time, could he do that? Morally? He’d wanted Remus back so, so much, he couldn’t just… lock him away. Couldn’t let him go again. But then what could he do? Roman forced himself to take a deep breath and look back to Remus once more, if only Remus could tell him what was best… If only they could go back to the days when they bickered about stupid things for sport. If only he had just focused on the road…
By the time the house was in sight, Roman had felt as if he had aged ten years. He could finally feel the weight of his twin soaked suit weighing him down. Exhaustion had struck his body and his mind and were shoving him towards his bed but Remus came first. He detoured away from the front door, and instead hurried into the backyard. He hesitated just inside it, but ultimately he made his decision and headed to the shed. He pulled the key from its hiding spot, unlocked it and opened the door. He stepped inside and turned on the small battery powered lamp. Remus’ shuffled footsteps still following him, Roman stepped back out of the shed and stood beside it. Remus walked up to him and Roman then hurriedly maneuvered behind Remus and gave his brother a nudge toward the open shed door, “Come on Re. Go in just for a little bit.”
Remus moved forward but an annoyed inhuman sound came through the gag as he did.
“I’ll let you out once I sleep for a bit,” Roman promised.
The moment Remus was far enough in Roman closed the door and put the padlock back in place. He was about to replace the key, but realizing he wouldn’t want anyone to unlock it before he got back he kept the key close to him and headed for the back door. He walked quietly not wanting to wake anyone as he went up to his room. His clothes felt gross as he peeled them from his skin, but the dry pajamas he put on were like bliss. A soft sigh escaped as he sat on his bed, and looked out the window. From here he could see the shed, he could see where Remus was waiting for him. He’d be lying if he said warmth didn’t flow through him at that moment. This past week, his room had felt too large, too cold, too empty, but now just knowing that Remus was right outside a warm calm settled over Roman, lulling him to sleep.
When Roman woke his body felt heavy but he forced himself to move. The world seemed to want to drag him back to bed, but the brightness of the day, the hunger in his stomach, and most of all Remus waiting for him kept him moving. Unable to help himself, he glanced out the window at the shed-
Roman’s heart plummeted to his stomach and bile began to force its way up, as he saw the shed’s open door. Roman’s feet flew down the stairs past the sound of the echoing TV as he ran for the door, only for a firm hand to grab his arm and yank him back.
Roman pulled against his father’s grip. “I need to-”
“Where are you going?” the man demanded.
“Outside! I gotta-”
“No one leaves this house!” his father said firmly. “It’s too dangerous.”
Roman’s thoughts stalled. “What? What do you-”
His father was dragging him back to the living room where Roman saw his mother sitting in front of the TV on which the news was playing.
“We’ve gotten word that the state police have already put in multiple requests for federal aid to deal with this dangerous outbreak.”
Roman could hear his heart in his ears over the sound of his retching- when had he collapsed? When had he started puking? His mother was above him fretting and crying with worry, but Roman’s focus lay on the TV and the facts that he knew.
Somehow Remus was back- he had brought his brother back somehow, and now there was an outbreak and people were dying. People were dying after having someone’s teeth ripping off their flesh to eat- and those which had survived soon became one themselves. It shouldn’t be possible. It shouldn’t be possible. It shouldn’t-
But Remus shouldn’t have come back to life either.
The pain that burned in his throat spread again as Roman’s stomach emptied onto the floor, and tears fell from his eyes.
This was his fault.
This was his fault.
If he hadn’t brought Remus back- no if he hadn’t yelled at Remus instead of just driving the fucking car then- then… then he wouldn’t have started the zombie apocalypse.