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“chat, i actually haven’t heard him sing before,” toby whispered into his phone, as if afraid speaking above the gentlest of tones would ruin the moment. “i mean, i’ve asked him so many times before and he’s just refused.” he giggled softly and let his head lean towards the wall. “well, i think i’m done for tonight. go donate to charity, boys.”
once the space ended, toby stayed exactly where he was. knees tucked under his chin, he listened to his boyfriend sing. it felt inappropriate and morally wrong, but the scratch of his deep voice during the higher parts and the grain of the lower parts left his heart heavy and warm. toby opened spotify to see what song he was listening to, smirking when he noticed it was a love song. he pulled up the lyrics and caught up to where the tall boy in the kitchen was belting.
“i was nothing before, still i couldn’t have asked to be born
i’ll be nothing again, so what am i between now and then?
is there nothing to fear? ‘cause shit’s getting weird.
so to god who made this man, you better have one hell of a plan!”
toby smirked as he read the lyrics in time with the tickley voice in his studio. as quietly as he could, he stepped down the ladder and crept to the kitchen door. hand on the doorknob, he pictured what he may walk into. messy blonde hair in his face using a spatula as a microphone. maybe he’s still sitting on the stool, just leaning back dramatically. gently turning the knob, he was met with a 6’6 white boy flat on his back on the floor, probably crying. toby wasn’t close enough to tell.
ranboo looked up for a moment and promptly groaned and threw his head back down onto the tiled kitchen floor. toby gently stepped over him and laid directly beside him, grabbing ranboo’s phone to replay the song. “what’s got you all obsessed about this one? i’ve never heard you sing like that. or sing in general. it was nice.”
the blonde slowly turned his head to make eye contact with toby, their noses barely touching. “just hits different, i guess.” he says, giggling and gently kissing the corner of the brunet’s mouth.
“can you sing for me again, boo?”
“maybe.”
“please?”
ranboo hummed and gently began.
“is it courageous or escapist to leave the quarantine when you’re contagious?
it may be just a cold
and besides, i don’t wanna get old.”
he dropped out and just leaned his shoulder back towards toby. “that’s all i wanna do right now,” he mumbled.
for a moment they just sit and listen. toby appreciating the instrumental and ranboo the lyrics. once the song ended, ranboo sighed and gently kissed toby’s forehead.
toby rolled his eyes and leaned his head towards his lover’s shoulder. “what do you think god’s plan is for you? since you like that bible stuff.”
this caught ranboo’s attention, obviously. he tossed around a couple responses in his head and just ended up humming in question.
the shorter boy huffed. “like the part where he’s like, “to god who made this man, you better have one hell of a plan.” that line. you seemed a little passionate there. and i know you went to that christian school so i was curious what’s going on in that brain of yours.”
ranboo sighed again, a little heavier this time. “i don’t really like that stuff anymore. it just makes me feel bad. bad for being here. bad for loving you. bad for leading my life this way. and i don’t wanna feel bad anymore. especially about loving you. i can’t not love you after this, toby. you ruined me.”
toby smiled a smug little grin and turned over to lay on top of his boyfriend’s chest. “i love you, too. loads, boo. so much.” ranboo felt a gentle kiss on his chin and the tears started again.
“tobes, i-“ he began. when he heard a hum in response, he took a deep breath and continued. “if you really want me to say what i think my purpose and plan in life is right now, there’s nothing i want consistent in my future right now more than you.”
at that moment, toby’s heart fell harder than it ever had before and he used all of his energy to squeeze his arms around ranboo’s neck in the strongest hug imaginable, nodding his head frantically against his chest and feeling tears start to poor as well.
ranboo’s arms found themselves just as tight around toby’s waist, and he continued. “i have no idea what god may have wanted for me, but i don’t care anymore. i can’t live for somebody who may not even exist. i can’t pretend that i care what some man in the sky has to say about me. and even if i did, i don’t think anything in the universe could stop me from loving you, tobes. i really think you’re just it for me.”
toby rolled over, tears streaming down his face, and slowly stood up. he reached a hand out for ranboo to grab, which he did without hesitation. he would follow him anywhere. together, they walked into the main part of their little studio and towards one of toby’s many backpacks. dropping ranboo’s hand, he knelt down and picked out a small white box. looking up into his person’s eyes, he began his own little spiel.
“ranboo,” he began with a watery laugh. “i wasn’t gonna give you these until closer to when you leave me to go back to america, but now feels like a good time. so i’m going to. um,” he paused for a moment to take one of his patient lover’s hands. “yeah, so. i got us promise rings. because i thought it was cute and i just want to always remember we’re each other’s everything’s in my own little materialistic way. and you know i’m not as good with words as you are.”
when he finally looked up to meet the taller’s eyes, they were wet and red. they smiled at each other in a moment before ranboo leaned down and gently caught tubbo’s lips in his. it was the softest and most meaningful they had shared yet. when they finally pulled apart after about half a minute, ranboo looked back at the box and smiled again. “show me them, tobes.”
he gently opened the box to reveal two rose gold rings with tiny diamonds around the band. simple but sparkly, and so very very them. “tobias smith,” ranboo began, picking one of the rings up and holding it towards tubbo’s small hand. “with this ring, i promise that i’ll be wherever you want me forever and ever. if you decide to drop everything and move to some penguin research center in antarctica, my only question will be what time you want to leave so i can set my alarm.” they both giggled, but ranboo continued. “so toby, if you’ll accept it, i would love to love you forever. or until forever dies. when the sun explodes and everything. but i’ll probably still find a way to love you after that.” toby smiled again, that cheesy one that seemed to never leave his face, and allowed him to push the ring onto his left hand.
“is it my turn to give a sappy monologue?” he asked, jokingly to hold back anymore tears. “well, ranboo, i don’t think there really are words to convey how much i love i hold for you in my heart. there’s so much. it feels like it’s gonna burst. or stop holding itself up in my body. but i’d turn into a lump of flesh if it meant you knew how much i love you. you deserve to know that. i love you more than anything.” ranboo pushed his hand out towards the brunet, who gently slid it on with a kiss to his finger. ranboo took toby’s hand as well, and they both kissed the other’s ring.
ranboo drew his lovers hand out and placed his other on his waist. they assumed a clumsy slow dancing pose and started to sway. the blonde took a deep breath, and gently began to sing,
“and i’d rather be normal, yeah so normal
i suggest that we keep this informal
‘cause a normal human being wouldn’t need
to pretend to be normal, to be normal
well i guess that’s the least that i owe you
to be normal in a way that i couldn’t be, yeah
come on, come on, and love me normally”
toby smiled and brought his hands to rest on the back of his person’s neck. ranboo gently cupped his cheek and stared into his eyes. green, he decided. with some brown along the pupil. when toby slowly closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling of the other’s large hand on his face, ranboo pressed two featherlight kisses onto his eyelids. once again, their lips met ever so gently and they began to sway again to the silent music of their love.
as they pulled apart, ranboo let his thumb gently rub below toby’s eyes. “ready to go sleep, bee?”
he nodded and gazed into the grey eyes he was fortunate enough to call his own. “lead the way, boo.”