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The little nurse had turned away from us, at which point McMurphy gave me some eyes and a smile and I knew what he had going on in his head. As he turned his head back to face her, he opened his mouth to spin some wild story, before she came back to us.
“I forgot bandaids. Will you two be alright on your own?”
McMurphy held his cigarette loosely, leaning forward in insistent interest. He gave her a toothed smile. “No, no, I don’t need any. Don’t worry about me.”
She hadn’t heard a single thing he said, already closing her medical bag and leaving it on the counter as she stepped towards the door. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, you enjoy some peace and quiet.”
She slid through the crack in the door like it was nothing, not even needing to click it shut, but she did. McMurphy leaned back into his chair, giving a pouting sigh while he held the end of his cigarette between his lips.
I watched him let out a puff of smoke before he looked over at me again. He looked at me like he was investigating every single inch of me with his eyes.
“They didn’t get you at all, huh, Chief?”
I nodded my head a second time, as I had done with the little nurse from before. McMurphy gave a small grin, before hiding his teeth between those busted lips again.
“Lucky bastard. Should enter the lottery.” His smile dulled as his eyes drifted down to his neck. I thought I might have something on me until he lifted his free hand and poked the side of the base of my neck with his thumb. It was like he pressed a button and it had me programmed to jerk around for a second. Then a dull burn lit up around the area he decided to nose his way around.
“Shit, some dirty fighting, huh.”
“What,” I asked. Not specifically to him, but to everything around us, and moreso myself.
“Warren bit you good. Got a layer of skin off.” He pressed the prints of his fingers against my neck again, and the surface pain flared up again, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. Still, I furrowed my brow. When I looked at McMurphy, he sat up a little straighter and moved his hand back a bit. “Sorry, there, Chief. Don’t need those murder eyes lookin’ at me.”
Before he could move his hands any further I spoke, just spoke.
“No, you can keep doing it.”
There was this silence that filled up the room and I swear I was suffocating in it as he looked at me like I had suddenly insulted his mother or something. He quirked his brow at me, giving a small and awkward chuckle, and cleared his throat.
“I’m good, Chief.”
It was like my mouth was full of nothing but sand, I could barely swallow, and I could feel the smallest lump in the back of it. I stared at the used ash stick to the top of the cigarette. It got closer, then closer to the end, and I closed my eyes and tensed, waiting for a burn to come and press itself against my cheek, or my jaw. There wasn’t anything for a little while until I shot my eyes open and felt McMurphy’s knuckles gently brush against me. The palm of his hand ran along my cheek. I couldn’t even think, but I leaned my head over. It felt like I was pressing my entire weight, my existence, into the back of his hand. It wasn’t soft, but it felt so calming, like everything else in this world, not even the Combine, could get to me with the two of us here like this.
“I’m--” he gave a slight cough-- “I’m gonna try and not get you hurt anymore.”
I couldn’t tell if it was how close the cigarette was to me, or if it was too hot in that room, but I felt my entire face and my ears explode in this burning heat. It took me everything to not completely collapse into his hand. Looking at him in the face, he kept on staring at me, not saying a thing. I couldn’t tell if the same thing was happening to him, or if his face was still red from the fight. I suppose it didn’t matter. I could feel him slowly move his hand down from my cheek and run along my jaw, reaching my chin. I leaned forward into the touch, my chin sticking out like a dog, waiting for him to give it a good scratch. We sat there for a moment, just staring at each other.
I felt his coarse hand go away, him taking a hurried, long drag of his cigarette as a fist lightly knocked on the door. As the little nurse walked in with a small box of bandaids in her hand, I realized I had slumped so far over to McMurphy. I sat up, looked over to the wall, and stared at the diagram of a person’s skull that I hadn’t noticed before.
“Alright,” she began, “let’s get some of those cuts covered up to heal.” She glanced over at me, and I felt those dark eyes on me again. I could feel myself freeze from them, stiffening my body until I didn’t want to move. She was watching me, but it was nothing like how McMurphy would stare at me.
“Are you alright?” She directed towards me.
I nodded my head to her again like I did, but she came up to me and tucked some stray hair behind my ear, before pressing her thin, bony hand against my forehead.
“You look a little flush, you should get some rest,” she told me, retracting her hand and beginning to open the box of bandaids. I glanced over to McMurphy, who was returning my stare and gave me a cocky smile, before finishing up his cigarette and leaning over to the end table, and smothering it in the ashtray. There wasn’t much conversation after that, not from me, but McMurphy didn’t talk much to the nurse either. She simply put a few bandaids on him, real precise, and would look up at him to make sure it wasn’t too sensitive. I sat there watching her put the bandaids on, even put one on his hand. From what we had of her, she seemed okay, nice, but cautious; yet deep down I wanted her gone.