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“Castiel.”
Castiel paused at the doorway and looked back at Mrs. Harvelle.
“Yes?”
“Do you have a moment to chat?”
Anxiety started to creep up from Castiel’s stomach into his throat. He walked slowly from the doorway towards her desk. “Is something wrong?”
“Not at all,” she said, shaking her head.
The anxiety lessened, but did not completely disappear.
“Oh. What would you like to talk about?”
“Would you be interested in tutoring?”
Castiel tilted his head. Out of all the things Mrs. Harvelle could have asked him about, he hadn’t been expecting her to ask about tutoring. Castiel wasn’t exactly a “people person.”
“You want me to tutor?”
“You’re my top student.” she replied bluntly. “I think you would be an excellent tutor. This would also be a way for you to get community service hours.”
Castiel swallowed. Seniors needed a certain amount of community service hours to graduate and Castiel was severely behind. It wasn’t that he was against community service, but he spent a lot of his time studying and the few times he’d gone out to the different community service events he always felt like he was more a hindrance than a help. The other volunteers didn’t like him and Castiel got complaints from the volunteer recipients for being too blunt. He didn’t mean to be insultive, he just didn’t know how to talk to people without being so direct.
“I checked with administration, and if you tutor every day for the rest of the quarter, you should be able to fill up the service hour requirements. Plus, you’d be helping a peer out. What do you think?”
It wasn’t like Castiel had much choice if he wanted to graduate in the spring.
“Okay.” He shrugged.
Mrs. Harvelle grinned. “Would you be able to start after school today?”
Again, Castiel shrugged. “I suppose so.”
“I’ll let Dean know. He’s a bright student, but he struggles with math. I know that with your help, he’ll improve greatly.”
Castiel felt his blood still in his veins.
“Wait, Dean Winchester ?”
“Yes,” she said. “Do you know him?”
One could say that.
“I know of him,” Castiel answered, trying not to let his dismay show.
“Oh, well that should make the introductions easier. I’ll ask him to meet you in the library after classes. Does that work for you?”
Castiel nodded regretfully.
“Thanks, Castiel. I know Dean will greatly appreciate it.”
Oh, I’m sure he will, Castiel bitterly thought. He nodded at her once before turning and leaving for his next class.
He tried to tide back the waves of frustration and anger that were crashing over him. He was upset. He felt like he’d been tricked into working with Dean Fucking Winchester.
Castiel did not like Dean Winchester. Not one bit. He was just like every other jock on campus: arrogant, entitled, and a massive jerk. What irked Castiel even more was that no one seemed to notice that Dean was awful except for himself. Everyone loved him, teachers included, and Castiel couldn’t figure out why. Dean was just a pretty boy (annoyingly pretty) and nothing more.
Castiel must have pissed off something cosmic and powerful for him to be cursed with tutoring Dean Winchester.
Do it for the community service hours. Do it for the community service hours.
Castiel spent the rest of the day in a mixture of dread and anxiety. He couldn’t focus on anything. He was beyond lucky that none of the teachers picked up on his behavior and called on him. By the time the last bell rang, Castiel had worked himself into a stressed out bundle of nerves. He went from his last class to his locker, and then straight to the library. He found a table near the front entrance so Dean would be able to see him right away.
He waited a full fifteen minutes before Dean came tumbling into the library, panting and red in the face. Castiel watched as Dean’s eyes scanned the room and then lit up when they found Castiel’s. He swaggered over, still breathing heavily.
“Hey, man. Sorry I’m late. Got caught talking.”
“God forbid anything meaningless like your GPA get in the way of your social life,” Castiel bit out without intending to. He didn’t regret it though, not even when a flash of confusion crossed Dean’s handsome face.
“Okay,” Dean said, eyeing Castiel. “Sorry again. And thanks for offering to tutor me. I could really use the help.”
“Let’s just get this over with,” Castiel sighed. “How have you been doing on our latest assignments?”
Again, Dean sent him a confused glance. He shook his head. “Uh, well. I was fine until our last test. But now I’m really having trouble.”
“Let’s go over the homework practice and then the quizzes to see what you need to work on.”
* * * * *
The next two hours were hell . Castiel tried his best to explain things to Dean, but the whole time he was thinking about how infuriatingly pretty Dean was and how somehow his looks entitled him to so much. He was much more hostile than he intended, but he didn’t care. Dean deserved to be brought down his pedestal a bit and to know that he wasn’t fooling everyone.
“Alright,” Castiel said, “We can work more on this tomorrow. Unless your sports get in the way. See you later.” He stood, fully intending to leave, but Dean reached out and grabbed his shoulder.
“Wait, man,” Dean said, his lips pursed and green eyes stormy, “Look, I know I’m not the smartest guy, but I’m really giving it my all. It’s really obvious you don’t want to be here and you don’t like me, so why’d you even agree to tutor me?”
Castiel sent him a nasty glare. “I am behind on my community service hours, not that it’s any of your business. Otherwise I’d leave you to some sorry tutor who wouldn’t teach you anything, because they’d be too busy worshipping the ground you walk on.”
“Fuck, man. What’s your problem with me? What’d I do to piss you off?”
“I’m not an idiot. I know how you and all the other jocks are, arrogant and entitled. Everyone loves you because of your capabilities and not your actual personality.”
“Hey, fuck you,” Dean said. “You don’t know shit about me and you assume I’m a dick because I play sports. Not all athletes are dicks, you dick.” He turned from Castiel and stormed out, leaving Castiel fuming.
“Stupid,” Castiel hissed to himself. He left the library grumbling angrily.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so upset before. He didn’t want to tutor Dean anymore. Castiel would find the community service hours some other way, but not by tutoring Dean Winchester.
Jimmy was already home by the time Castiel came storming into the house.
“What’s up with you?” His brother asked, brows raised.
“Dean Winchester,” Castiel grumbled. He yanked his shoes off and stomped from the entrance to the kitchen. Jimmy trailed behind him.
“Who?”
“He’s one of our classmates.”
“Oh. Did he do something?”
“If you count being an uncooperative dick as doing something, then yes he did!”
“What do you mean?”
Castiel let out a frustrated huff. “Mrs. Harvelle asked me to tutor him and I agreed because I need more community service hours to graduate. Our first session was hell.”
“If you don’t like this kid so much, then why did you agree to tutor him?” Jimmy questioned.
“Because I didn’t realize it was him that I would be tutoring,” Castiel explained. “I must have horrible karma to be stuck tutoring Dean Winchester.”
Jimmy frowned. “Did he do something to make you hate him?”
“He’s a jock, Jimmy,” Castiel replied. “That should be reason enough.”
“What do you mean?”
Castiel floundered for a moment. “What do you mean, what do I mean? Athletes like Dean are always slacking off and making fun of people! A whole bunch of them, whom I’ve never spoken to, call me Four-eyes because they saw me wearing my glasses. Granted, it’s not the cleverest of insults, but it’s designed to be cruel.”
“Four-eyes? Is that why you started using contacts instead of your glasses?”
“No!” Castiel hastily replied, flushing. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. That’s not the point.”
“Hm,” Jimmy hummed. “And this Dean guy called you names, too?”
“Well,” Castiel paused before admitting, “No, not really. But he’s just the type.”
Jimmy made a thoughtful noise. “So Dean’s never actually done anything to you, personally, but you don’t like him because he’s a jock and all jocks are jerks?”
“Yes!” Castiel exclaimed triumphantly. “Exactly!”
“You’re being kind of a dick.”
Floored, Castiel gaped at his brother. “What? You agreed with me!”
“No, I was just trying to understand your reasoning. You said that Dean hasn’t done anything to you, right? Why not give him a chance? Not all jocks are bad.”
Castiel spluttered.
“Just saying, Cas. Just ‘cause some of them are mean doesn’t mean Dean is too.”
Jimmy left the kitchen and Castiel stared after him.
Jimmy was wrong, right? Of course, Dean Winchester is a bad guy. Why wouldn’t he be?
Unfortunately, he could already feel his brother’s words twisting in his chest and making him feel guilty .
Had Castiel reacted too rashly?
“Ugh,” Castiel sighed. He was overthinking again. “You got into my head!”
He heard Jimmy’s laugh from the other room. “Just wanted to get you to use that big brain of yours!”
“Yeah,” Castiel grumbled. “Thanks for that.”
* * * * *
The following day, Castiel found himself bouncing his legs anxiously throughout math class. He knew Dean was sitting at the back of the room. He knew he should go talk to him.
As soon as the bell rang, Castiel jumped up from his seat and rushed to the back of the room. He ignored the curious glances of his classmates as he approached Dean. He tried to look confident as he walked, because Gabe always said that walking with confidence would trick others into thinking that whatever you were doing was what you were supposed to be doing (though, he mostly said that whenever he was sneaking candy into the movie theater).
Castiel’s confidence shook a little when Dean’s friends, Benny Lafitte and Charlie Bradbury, looked up at him. Dean’s back was turned to him.
“Hello, Dean.” Castiel said. “And Benny and Charlie.”
“You’re Castiel, right?” Charlie asked.
Castiel nodded.
“Nice to officially meet you!”
Castiel floundered a little. “Uh. Nice to meet you, too.”
“What do you want?” Dean snapped. “Come to judge me some more?”
“Could I talk to you for a minute? In private?”
“Ugh, fine. Whatever.” Dean glanced at his friends. “You guys go, I’ll catch up with you later.”
Benny raised an eyebrow at Castiel and then at Dean. “You sure, cher?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” Dean answered.
“Hmm.” Benny looked at Castiel. Castiel swallowed.
“Don’t scare Castiel, Benny,” Charlie said. “We’ll see you later, Dean.”
Charlie grabbed Benny’s forearm and dragged him out of the room.
“So,” Dean said. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Castiel answered quickly so he wouldn't lose his nerve. “I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed hurtful stereotypes about you. That was rude of me.”
“Damn right it was,” Dean agreed, and Castiel winced.
“Anyways,” he said, “I would like to continue tutoring you, if you’re willing to give me another chance.”
Dean squinted at him. “You’re not just saying this so you can get your hours, are you?”
“No, of course not,” Castiel replied.
Dean hummed and looked Castiel up and down. Castiel shifted and cleared his throat.
“So?” he asked.
“Sure,” Dean shrugged. “If you really mean your apology, I’d be happy to get your help.”
“Excellent. I can meet you after school again today in the library.”
“Works for me.”
“Okay, I’ll see you then.”
Castiel tried smiling as he turned and walked back to his desk. He gathered up his things and left the classroom.
Social interactions, especially with apologies, had never been his strong point. He never quite knew what to say to sound genuine and he always felt awkward. Dean hadn’t seemed perturbed by Cas’s awkwardness, thankfully, and Castiel was grateful that Dean was forgiving of yesterday’s interaction.
Jimmy was right and Castiel needed to rethink his stereotypical views on athletes. Castiel still suspected Dean was a dick, but now he’d at least wait until he had proof.
He was nervous by the end of the school day. He fiddled with the fabric of his shirt and kept wiping his hands on his pants. It was such a surreal feeling to be so stressed over an interaction with someone that Castiel had vehemently hated only the day before (and still held strong feelings of resentment for).
Dean showed up on time. He gave Castiel a short ‘hello’ before he started taking out his notes and his book. Castiel focused more on actually tutoring than how much he did not like Dean. Their session ended up going well, which was both a relief and a frustration for Castiel. He’d decided to try not hating Dean, but he’d hated him for so long that it was impossible to completely get rid of those feelings in one day (plus, Castiel’s dignity was still recovering from his earlier apology).
Dean seemed to be a good guy, which was even more annoying because it meant that Castiel had judged him too quickly. Jimmy would never let him hear the end of it.
“Hey, well,” Dean said, “Thanks for tutoring me.”
“Thank you for forgiving me,” Castiel answered. “I hope you do well on the quiz tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I think I will,” Dean said. “The way you explained all that graphing crap made it seem really straightforward.”
“I’m glad.”
There was a beat of awkward silence.
“Well, I’m going to get going,” Dean said. “I’ll see you later.”
“Yes,” Castiel nodded, “See you for tutoring tomorrow.”
Dean nodded at him. They stared at each other, awkward again, until Dean left the library.
Castiel released a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.
He could tutor Dean for the rest of the quarter. It wouldn’t be too bad.
* * * * *
Much to Castiel’s frustration, with every tutoring session it became more and more obvious why Dean was such a well-liked student. He was annoyingly charming and pleasant to be around. He would always ask Castiel about his day and his favorite classes. Sometimes he brought Castiel leftover cookies he’d made over the weekend. He was attentive and polite during their tutoring sessions, the perfect student.
It was infuriating.
Dean also seemed intent on befriending Castiel after their initial meeting. It was a surprise to Castiel since he’d been so cold to Dean at first, but apparently Dean Winchester had to befriend every living soul.
Perhaps the most damning thing about Dean was that he was funny.
Too many times, Castiel found himself laughing against his will. Dean always had the most entertaining stories or jokes that he bombarded Castiel with, despite Castiel’s protests that they had no time to do anything else but study.
With horror, it dawned on Castiel one Friday afternoon that he was sad it would be the weekend, because Castiel wouldn’t be able to see Dean until Monday.
He was downright miserable about his discovery for the weekend, only to be cheered on Monday afternoon when he met up with Dean again for tutoring.
Damn it all.
Castiel prepared to start distancing himself from Dean, before Dean could befriend him and it would be too late, but Dean showed up to their session smiling and out of breath and he promptly handed Castiel a large chocolate muffin.
“My blood sugar always gets low in the afternoon,” Dean said. “I thought this might cheer you up before we start tutoring.”
Castiel had only managed a feeble, “That’s very considerate. Thank you, Dean.”
Castiel knew then and there that Dean had clawed his way past Castiel’s carefully constructed defences and had built the beginnings of a friendship. Maybe Castiel could have tried again to keep himself from liking Dean, but he was, frankly, really tired from the amount of effort it took not to think about Dean on an hourly basis.
As Castiel started to warm up to Dean, Dean came out of his shell. Castiel hadn’t even realized it, but Dean hadn’t been as outgoing as he presented himself. Since Castiel stopped hiding how fond he was of Dean, Dean began to open up more. It wasn’t that everything from before was fake, but Dean knew how to be appealing and friendly without really revealing much about himself.
Castiel learned about Dean’s family. Mostly, he talked about his younger brother, Sammy, and how smart and capable Sam was. Sometimes Dean would mention his uncle, aunt, and cousin, and Castiel got the impression Dean and Sam were living with them. Only a few times, when their tutoring session went late because they got caught up talking, did Dean mention his mom.
“She died in a fire when I was really little,” Dean had admitted softly, more demure than Castiel had ever seen him. “My dad didn’t handle it well.”
Not knowing what else to do, Castiel had leaned over and grabbed Dean’s hand. He’d given it a little squeeze, then Dean had flashed him a soft and sweet smile that had Castiel’s stomach leaping in a way it should not have done.
Dean only mentioned his mom in passing a couple of times after that, but the real conversation came on a Friday afternoon during a large spring storm.
It was cold and dark and wet outside, which made leaving the library very unappealing. Castiel had already planned to stay in the library until it closed around five and he invited Dean to stay with him. The storm might die down a bit, or it might not, but Castiel figured it wouldn’t get any worse and so there was no harm in staying longer. Dean agreed and they moved their stuff to the back of the library to avoid the few remaining students.
Castiel was very pleased that Dean had agreed to stay with him for a few hours. Dean had been uncharacteristically glum that afternoon and Castiel was itching to ask him about it. Castiel was not good at subtlety, but he tried his best when he worked up the courage to talk to Dean.
“Dean,” he said, “You seem upset. Is something wrong?”
Dean’s mouth twisted as he looked to the ground. He gave his legs a half-hearted swing.
“Nah,” Dean replied, and Castiel didn’t believe him for one second.
“Something's clearly bothering you,” he insisted.
Dean just shook his head.
Castiel let out a defeated sigh. “Well, you don’t have to talk to me about it, but you should know that you can, if you want.”
Dean was quiet for a few minutes. Castiel didn’t think Dean would say something, so he took out his book and started reading.
“I’m not good at talking,” Dean said, making Castiel’s eyes pause on the page.
“That’s okay,” Castiel said carefully. “I won’t judge you or anything.”
Dean kicked his feet again. “I saw my dad last night.”
Slowly, Castiel bookmarked his page and put his book down. “Oh?”
“Yeah,” Dean nodded, “I kinda forgot how much of a dick he is.”
Castiel swallowed, heart beginning to race.
“He dropped by my uncle and aunt’s place last night, drunk as fuck. Wanted to see Sam, or something. They told him to get lost. I thought that maybe I could talk him into leaving or at least calm him down, but he got pretty pissed at me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Castiel murmured. “Did he leave?”
“Eventually,” Dean sighed. “He broke a few fingers along the way, though.”
Oh.
“I see.”
“Yeah.”
“He does sound like a dick.”
Dean gave a bitter little chuckle at that. “Yeah, he is. Sometimes I forget. He wasn’t always like this. I can still remember him and my mom taking me to the park or reading me or playing games with me. After my mom died, he changed a lot.”
“That must’ve been hard for you,” Castiel said.
“Yeah. I mean, it was no picnic for him, either. He lost the love of his life and had to learn to take care of two kids by himself. But, still. He didn’t cope well and he’s never really gotten over it.”
“It sounds like you lost two parents,” Castiel said. He must’ve been too blunt, because Dean’s jaw clenched and his eyes grew misty. Alarmed, Castiel quickly backtracked, “I’m sorry, I mean your father is still alive, he just sounds like he’s… uh…”
“Detached?” Dean offered.
Castiel nodded, feeling sheepish.
“You’re not wrong,” Dean said quietly. “Most days it does feel like he’s gone too. It’s easier for Sam to be angry with him, I think, because he never knew our dad the way I did. But I guess I’m still kind of hoping that someday he’ll get sober, or something, and start being my dad again.”
Dean fell quiet. His head was low and his hands were tucked into his lap. Castiel wasn’t sure how to comfort him. He’d never been good with words. Maybe it would help Dean if he knew that Castiel understood, though.
Castiel took a deep breath, “My parents kicked me out and disinherited me.”
Dean’s eyes snapped to his own, wide and alarmed.
“Freshman year, I realized I was gay,” Castiel continued. “I told them about it. They’re more… traditional. Anyways, they told me I could stop being gay or I could leave and never come back. So, I left. My brother came with me. He’s not gay, but he couldn’t stand the way they treated me. We moved in with our other brother, Gabriel. I was very lucky that Gabe was already so much older than us, that he could afford to take us in. And, I was also lucky that Gabe even wanted to take us in. I don’t know what we would have done, otherwise.”
“Shit, man,” Dean breathed. “That’s really fucked up.”
Castiel let out a shuddering breath. “I’ve gotten over it. Mostly. I was never really close with my parents. They weren’t at home much and something about their love and affection towards me always felt conditional. I can’t say I was completely surprised, but it still hurt.”
“I’m so sorry, Cas.”
“It’s not your fault,” Castiel replied, offering Dean a smile. “For the record, I didn’t tell you this to compete with your story or anything, I just want you to know that I understand how you feel.”
“No, I got that,” Dean assured him. “Thanks for sharing with me, it actually does make me feel better.”
“I’m glad.”
“So, uh,” Dean averted his gaze again, “You’re gay, then?”
Castiel tried not to bristle. He knew Charlie Bradbury was lesbian, so Dean shouldn’t have a problem with Castiel, right? Unless, Dean was one of those people who thought it was okay for women, but still unnatural for men. Dean couldn’t be like that, right?
“I am,” He said, internally bracing himself.
Dean licked his lips and nodded. “That’s cool. I, uh, I’m bi. It’s one of the reasons my dad and I don’t really get along.”
Oh.
Dean was bi.
“Oh,” Castiel said.
It wouldn't have been a problem, except Castiel still found Dean incredibly attractive (and more so now that they were friends) and now he knew Dean could potentially reciprocate his feelings.
That was not a thought that he should be thinking. Dean Winchester was very much out of his league. Castiel would not allow himself to fall for Dean.
Desperate to say something, Castiel blurted, “Are you dating Benny?”
He was much too relieved when Dean threw back his head and laughed.
“No!” he said, chuckling. “Benny’s head-over-heels in love with that one chick, Andrea Kormos. You know her? He wouldn’t look twice at me as long as she lived, and even then some.”
“But you’re,” Castiel paused and gestured randomly with his hands, “ Looking at Benny?”
“If you’re asking me if I’ve got an attraction to Benny, then the answer is a resounding no,” Dean said, grinning. “Why? He catch your eye?”
“No!” Castiel exclaimed, flushing. “I was just curious. That’s what friends do, right? Ask one another about romantic interests.”
Dean shrugged, still smiling. “I guess. The answer would still be no, though. Can’t say there’s anyone I’m looking at right now.”
“Ah,” Castiel tried desperately not to feel disappointed. “Me neither.”
“Really?” Dean asked, eyebrows raising. “No nerdy boyfriend, or anything?”
“No, nothing.”
“Huh.” Dean leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, considering.
“What?” Castiel asked.
“Nothin’,” Dean said. “Just surprised, I guess. You’re smart and funny and pretty hot. Would’ve thought you’d have someone wrapped around your finger by now.”
Castiel felt himself flushing further. “Ah, no. There’s no one.”
Dean hummed again, then fell silent.
They both seemed to avoid each other’s eyes for a while, until Dean noticed the rain had died down.
“We should probably get going,” he said as he stood. “I don’t think the storms gonna get any easier than this.”
“I think you’re right,” Castiel agreed. He also stood and started to gather his things.
They walked down to the library entrance together, shoulders nearly brushing. Dean gave Cas a smile and a wave as they started to part their separate ways.
“Thanks for today,” Dean said. “See you Monday.”
“Of course, anytime. I’ll see you on Monday.”
Dean grinned and turned to leave. Castiel watched him go, longing building in his chest. He firmly pushed it down.
Dean was a friend, a good friend, and nothing more.
* * * * *
The end of the quarter came much quicker than Castiel expected. One week, he was celebrating with Dean over their pair of ‘A’s on the latest calculus test, the next minute Dean was talking about his plans for spring break.
With the end of the quarter meant the end of their arrangement. Castiel had already earned the required community service hours, but he’d continued to tutor Dean because the alternative meant seeing Dean only in math class. After break though, they wouldn’t be in class together. There was no guarantee that they’d be in any class together ever again. He liked to think that this wouldn’t get in the way of their friendship, but he had no real way of knowing.
For the first time in Castiel’s life, he dreaded spring break. His hands were clammy and his stomach shifted uneasily during his last tutoring session with Dean. Castiel liked to think that Dean felt similarly since he looked uncomfortable, too.
“Well,” Dean said as the end of the hour drew nearer. “Thanks for tutoring me this quarter.”
Castiel’s tongue felt thick in his mouth, “Of course, Dean, it was no problem. I’m glad to have gotten to know you.”
“You too,” Dean replied. “I would’ve probably failed if you hadn’t helped me out.”
“Don’t be dramatic, Dean. You probably could have passed with a ‘D.’” Castiel said playfully.
Dean rolled his eyes in response. “Yeah, yeah. You have any fun things planned over break?”
“No.” Castiel answered, shaking his head. “I think I’ll just be staying home with my brothers.”
“Hey, time with family is awesome. No shame in spending time with your brothers.”
“It’s not that I’m ashamed to be spending time with my brothers, it’s that my brothers are absolute monsters and will not leave me a moment of peace.” Castiel grumbled as he dropped his head into his hands.
Beside him, Dean chuckled.
Castiel jerked when he felt Dean’s hand grasp his shoulder and give it a warm squeeze.
“Yeah, family can be like that.” He said. “My brother can be a pain in my ass, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
Castiel’s lips twitched. “I guess that I wouldn’t, either.”
They were quiet for a few moments. Then Dean spoke up.
“I’m really gonna miss you next quarter, man. We should try to hang out.”
“Yeah.”
There it was. The empty promise that they would hang out. Castiel had no doubt that Dean’s intentions were genuine, but only at this moment. Time would pass and Dean would forget about Castiel. They’d graduate, Dean would go to college and still make friends upon friends, someday he would get marry and have a family, and Castiel would still be here.
I’m so pathetic.
Castiel hoped he wouldn’t be one of those people who never forgot about their high school love and was constantly miserable about it.
“I need to go.” He said.
Dean looked a little startled. He frowned and nodded. “Okay.”
“It was nice seeing you, Dean. Have a great break.” Castiel said.
“You too.”
Castiel forced a quick smile, then turned and left. A quick break would be best. Dean didn’t try calling or following after him, not that Castiel had expected it.
Castiel bit back the sudden wave of pressure in his chest and throat. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t .
It had been nice while it lasted.
* * * * *
Castiel spent his spring break torn between mopey and furious with himself. He’d started the quarter resenting Dean and now he had a teeny crush on him. Castiel should have known better.
Gabe and Jimmy tried to cheer him up. Castiel refused to tell them what was bothering him, despite their best efforts. Eventually, they cut their losses and let him sulk in his room.
Castiel was just as unhappy during the week after spring break. He didn’t share a single class with Dean and their lunches hadn’t lined up. The only positive was that Castiel shared a lunch period with Jimmy, so at least Castiel had someone for company.
Two and a half weeks went by until Castiel actually saw Dean in person. He caught sight of the blonde rushing through the halls after class.
“Dean!” Castiel called, waving.
He watched Dean stop and spin around. He met Dean’s searching gaze and grinned.
Dean’s eyes met his and darkened. Dean scowled. Then he walked away.
Castiel stared after him, heart sinking horribly in his chest. Sickness started uncurling itself in his stomach.
Dean had completely ignored him. And not just that, Dean had been upset to see Castiel.
Castiel thought back to their last interaction. Maybe he had been kind of cold, but it was nothing to warrant Dean’s reaction, right?
He stood in the hallway, hurt and confused, until Jimmy came and found him.
“Cassie, where have you been?” his brother demanded. “I was waiting for twenty minutes, I called you three times!”
“Sorry,” Castiel murmured.
Jimmy rolled his eyes. “C’mon, let’s get home before Gabe starts stress baking again.”
Castiel let Jimmy drag him out of the hallways and off of campus. He looked at his shoes as he walked and kicked at things on the sidewalk, all the while Jimmy chattered in his ear.
Jimmy steered Castiel all the way home and into the house. He pulled Castiel’s backpack off of his shoulders and hung it up for him. Castiel must have looked really distressed for Jimmy to do all those things without mentioning it. His brother pushed him to the couch and sat him down. He put on a show that Castiel didn’t pay attention to as he continued to talk.
Castiel was only drawn out of his thoughts when he heard Jimmy say, “Dean.”
He looked up at his brother, brows furrowing. “What did you just say?”
Jimmy startled. “Oh now you’re talking?”
“What did you just say?”
“I said that this kid, I think Dean Winchester, came up to me today and acted super weird.” Jimmy said.
“What do you mean?”
“He asked me out and got really upset when I said I wasn’t gay,” Jimmy shrugged. He continued, oblivious to Castiel’s shock. “I told him that I’m dating Amelia and he got pissed. He was like, ‘I know you, if you wanted to say no, you don’t have to lie’ and I was like, ‘We have literally never spoken before.’ Then he stormed off. Isn’t that weird?”
“Yeah,” Castiel said faintly.
“I didn’t even realize it was Dean until Amelia asked me what he had wanted. I guess someone told her that Dean and I made a scene, or something,” Jimmy said.
“This was today?” Castiel asked. “Before the end of the school day?”
“Yeah, it was right before lunch. I think his lunch period is before ours,” Jimmy answered. He tilted his head and gave Castiel a thoughtful look. “Wait, was Dean the guy that you hated?”
“He was.”
“Oh. You were supposed to tutor him, right? How’d that turn out? Did you end up tutoring him?”
“I did.” Castiel stood. “I have to go.”
“Go? Go where?”
“I have to go see Dean,” Castiel said, already moving for the door.
“Wait!” Jimmy shouted. “What the hell, Cassie?”
Castiel walked out the door and down the sidewalk. He gained speed as he walked until he was eventually running.
It only occurred to Castiel five minutes later that he had no idea where to find Dean. He sent Jimmy a quick text and his brother had miraculously had the foresight to ask Amelia for Dean’s address. Amelia had gotten Dean’s address from Bess Myers, who got it from Garth Fitzgerald, who got it from Kevin Tran, who got it from Charlie Bradbury. Castiel silently thanked them all.
Unluckily, Dean’s house was on the other side of town. It took Castiel almost an hour of walking and jogging to get to the house, and by then the sun was starting to set and his stomach was growling profusely. He’d gotten several texts from Gabe, but Castiel just explained that he really needed to speak to Dean and that he was safe.
Dean’s house was a smaller size, but the front yard was large. There were several large trees, one of which had a rope swing. A few baseball bats, baseballs, and gloves were strewn around the lawn. Castiel was careful not to step on anything as he approached the front door.
He hesitated before knocking. As soon as Jimmy had told Castiel what had happened with Dean, Castiel had come to the conclusion that Dean meant to ask Castiel out, and not Jimmy. But what if Castiel had been wrong? What if Dean really did want to ask out Jimmy?
Castiel knew it made no sense for Dean to want to ask out Jimmy, but he was starting to overthink everything.
Maybe I should just go home .
The choice was taken from Castiel as the door flew open.
“What are you doing, loitering out on my porch?”
Castiel gaped. “Mrs. Harvelle?!”
Mrs. Harvelle raised a brow and crossed her arms. “Castiel Novak. I gotta say, I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Why are you here?” Castiel asked.
“I live here,” she answered. “Why are you here?”
Mind racing, Castiel replied. “I’m here to see Dean.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Mrs. Harvelle said, expression growing firmer.
“Please,” Castiel begged. “I really need to talk to him. I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”
“Oh?”
“I think he mistook my brother for me today.”
“Your brother?”
Castiel nodded. “Yes, my twin brother, Jimmy. I think Dean thought Jimmy was me!”
He stared up at Mrs. Harvelle, desperate for her to believe him.
Something softened in her eyes and she uncrossed her arms.
“I didn’t think you’d be the type to pretend not to know someone,” she said. “I’m guessing you’re here to clear up the misunderstanding?”
“I am,” Castiel nodded vehemently.
“Good. Dean’s up in his room.”
Mrs. Harvelle moved to the side and gestured into the house. Castiel sucked in his breath before stepping inside. He removed his shoes and left them at the door as he made his way deeper into the house.
“Up the stairs and straight left,” Mrs. Harvelle instructed.
“Thank you.”
“Why are you here?”
Castiel froze on the first step of the stairs and looked around. There were two other kids peering from the hallway, a boy with shaggy brown hair and a girl with blonde hair and a fierce expression. The girl was the one that had spoken to him.
“I’m here to see Dean,” Castiel said. “Are you Sam and Jo?”
“Dean doesn’t want to see you,” the girl said. “You should go.”
“Joanna Beth, don’t be rude to Castiel,” Mrs. Harvelle scolded. She nodded at Castiel. “You go ahead, Castiel.”
Castiel hesitated for a second, then ran up the stairs two at a time. He turned left and went straight down to the first door. His hands were beginning to feel sweaty and gross by the time he knocked on Dean’s door.
“Go away!” Dean’s muffled voice yelled out.
Castiel knocked again.
He heard Dean sigh and stomp over to the door.
“I said-” Dean flew open the door, “Cas?!”
“Hello, Dean,” Castiel shifted on the balls of his feet. “I need to talk to you.”
Dean scowled. “Oh, now you wanna talk to me?”
“I do,” Castiel said. “Please, may I come in?”
Dean’s face scrunched up for a few seconds before he moved out of the way and let Castiel enter. Dean shut the door after and rounded on Cas.
“You’ve got some nerve coming here!”
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” Castiel said.
“Yeah, right,” Dean scoffed, “You’re just trying to save face.”
“Do you remember how I mentioned my brother, Jimmy?”
“Don’t change the subject-”
“Did I ever say he was my twin?”
Dean spluttered, his eyes widening.
“What?” He asked.
Castiel nodded. “Jimmy is my twin brother. He told me that you asked him out today.”
Dean’s face went bright pink, all the way to his ears and down his neck.
“He also said that you got upset because he said he was dating Amelia Novak.”
“Shit,” Dean breathed. “So, he really is dating her?”
“Yes, he is.” Castiel said.
“Fuck, I had no idea that you had a twin,” Dean pressed his hands against his face. “Why the hell didn’t you mention that?”
“I guess I forgot.”
“Fuck, Cas.” Dean shuffled to his bed and sat down heavily on it.
Castiel moved after him. “I’m sorry, Dean.”
“No, I should apologize. I was kind of a dick to you after class today.”
“You didn’t know,” Castiel said. “I should have told you that I had a twin.”
Dean sighed. “So I guess you know that I wanted to ask you out?”
Castiel nodded.
“Shit. Just so you know, I wasn’t upset because I thought you said no, I was upset because you acted like you didn’t know me.”
“I understand, Dean,” Castiel said softly. He moved closer. “I would have been hurt, too.”
They were quiet for a moment, only the sound of their breathing filling up the room.
“So, if it had been you that I was asking, would you have said yes?” Dean questioned.
Castiel’s heart leaped. “Yes, of course.”
Dean swallowed and rubbed his palms on his legs. He stood. “So, if I were to ask you now-”
Castiel pulled Dean in by the fabric of his shirt and kissed him.
Dean fumbled momentarily before he wrapped his arms around Castiel.
“I guess that answers my question,” he said as they pulled away.
Dean’s face was pink again and he was breathing quickly. Castiel felt his own heart beating in his ears.
“I would love to go out with you, Dean,” Castiel said. “Also, maybe I should introduce you to my brother.”
Dean laughed and soon Castiel was laughing with him.
Dean’s eyes were twinkling as he grabbed Castiel’s hand. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“I would love to,” Castiel answered. “I just need to let my brother know.”
Dean beamed.
“Ellen’s cooking is the best,” he said.
“Oh, that’s right. How come you never told me that Mrs. Harvelle is your aunt?”
“I guess I forgot,” Dean answered, smirking. “C’mon, let’s go.”
He took Castiel’s hand again (and by this point, Castiel suspected his heart would burst from his chest and fly away), and together they left the bedroom and went down the stairs. Dean led him to the dining room, where Castiel was greeted by the rest of Dean’s family. Dean explained the situation, so luckily Jo stopped sending Castiel death glares. Castiel was finally introduced to Sam, who looked as smug as ever when he caught sight of Castiel’s and Dean’s interlocked hands.
Castiel was also introduced to Dean’s uncle, Bobby, who was probably one of the most intimidating people that Castiel had ever met. Bobby turned out to be really kind, even if he had a gruff exterior.
Castiel spent the evening with Dean and Dean’s family and it was so wonderful.
The best part came at the end of the evening, though, when Dean drove Castiel home in his 1967 Chevy Impala and kissed Castiel again before dropping him off.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Dean promised. “We can hang out in the library.”
“And this weekend we’ll go to the movies?” Castiel asked.
“Yep.”
“I can’t wait.” Castiel admitted. He grinned at Dean, nearly bursting with joy, and slid out of the car.
It was sad to watch Dean drive away, but Castiel knew he’d be seeing Dean again in the morning.
Jimmy and Gabe teased Castiel when he went inside but he didn’t mind. He was too happy.
Later in the evening, after Castiel had already gotten ready for bed, he received a text on his phone.
>> heya Cas !
Castiel smiled to himself.
>> Hello, Dean :)
