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Amity huffed, squinting at Luz who was taking off one of her jackets and throwing it over the couch. Her hair was messy and tangled, and Amity had noticed as days passed by, through her visits, the way her eye bags seemed deeper. Dark circles seeming to worsen every minute. The bloodshot look in her eyes. Besides their breathing, the only thing to be heard inside of Luz’s apartment was the ticking of a clock in the small living room. “You need to get more sleep.”
“Hah.” Luz snorted, running a hand through her hair as she flopped onto the gray two-seater. “Thank you so much for the advice, I don’t think I’d ever thought of that before.”
Rolling her eyes, Amity ran the faucet over the small tools in her hands, a tooth cleaning set she’d picked up on her way there from a convenience store. The day before, she’d texted Luz offering to come over, and the other seemed unsure about the idea, coming up with lots of very lackluster reasons to why Amity shouldn’t come over. Her lack of a ‘brushing schedule’, as she called it, was one of those reasons. But, Amity could help with that, could she not? “Did you brush your teeth today, at least?” Her question was met with quiet for a while, leading Amity to peer out of the bathroom door for a second to look at the couch, wondering if maybe Luz really had fallen asleep from exhaustion. She wasn’t asleep, but her eyes were half lidded, arms behind her head propping herself up. “Luz?”
“Nah. Sorry.”
“Mm.”
“To be honest,” Luz started, sitting herself up as Amity set down her things on the table-side. “I pretty much forgot you were coming over here… Just slipped my mind, I guess. Which… Which is kinda weird, you know? ‘Cause I miss you. A lot.”
“…I know. I’m sorry.” Amity sighed, taking her own place on the couch and grabbing a couch pillow and placing it on her lap. Looking to her side, she aimlessly lingered at the sight of the kitchen counters. She really did wish there was something she could do. If only she was able to spend more of her time around Luz, maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as they were right now, for her. It wasn’t like she didn’t have her friends to help her… but they were also busy.
Even if Amity was around, would she really be able to help as much as she thought?
Probably not.
Amity pat the couch pillow she had on her lap, offering Luz a meek smile. “Hey, c’mere. I’m ready.” Luz was already ready, turning around and lying her head down on the pillow as she threw her feet over the couch arms. Amity handed Luz a light, setting it on her chest and instructing her on where to hold it so she could see. Luz managed to crack a small smile of her own, at seeing Amity’s face in the corner of her eyes. “Wonderful view from down here, m’lady.” Luz takes a weird sense of pride at seeing Amity’s face brushed with pink, and Amity lightly flicks Luz on her forehead to which she lets out a light yelp before quick laughter. Shaking her head, Amity furrows her brows. “As cute as you are, my light, if you do that while I’m doing this — well, there’s no guarantee you’ll come out of it better than before.”
Luz huffs at that, still smirking. “Awhhh. Is it gonna hurt, Dr. Blight?”
“Not if you stay still, dork. Hold that tongue of yours and I’m sure you’ll be okay.”
With another snort, Luz raises her brow. “You still sure you aren’t just using me for some hands-on practice, with pre-dentistry and all?”
She nodded in response. “Yes, I’m sure, Luz.”
Luz still stared at her, tongue in cheek. “Sure… I’m definitely not burdening you with my own iss—“
“I’m doing this of my own volition. I want to help,” she said, cutting Luz off. “You’re not burdening me. Can I not help out my girlfriend?” Amity didn’t mention the way everyone close to Luz had noticed her unsubtly in subtly trying to keep them from helping her. Even with small things like… like helping buy groceries, or making a call for her, or just simply being with her, in her presence. The way her voice sounded so much more drained than usual, lacking it’s pep. She didn’t mention how she knew what it was like, to feel like that, and how much it hurt her to see the one person she loved most pushing help away, falling deeper into what felt like an inescapable rut.
Luz hummed from under her, seemingly content with the reply.
Amity reached out, readjusting Luz’s hold on the light. “Now, Aah?”
“Aah,” Luz opened her mouth and Amity sat, looking down at her teeth. There wasn’t that much plaque there as she worried. Meaning Luz had to at least be partially taking care of her dental. “Eee.” Amity said, Luz repeating her action and baring her front teeth. The front seemed better than the back, and Amity had planned to start with the front either way, so, she took one of her dental tools and began carefully scraping plaque off the front of Luz’s teeth. Holding her cheek with the other hand to keep her head and face steady, since the last thing she’d want to do was hurt Luz by accidentally nicking her gum or something of the sorts.
Amity did this for a while, as time went on becoming slightly unnerved. She pursed her lips and let out a small sigh. Luz was staring at her eyes and it was making Amity feel queasy. She lifted her hand away from Luz’s mouth. “Luz, you’re kind of…like, you know—“ She said, making small circle-like gestures in the air.
“Oh, staring. Yeah. My bad,” Luz muttered out the words and averted her gaze. The look at her face was contemplative, and instead of looking at something with focus it now seemed like she was staring off into some indescribable object in another dimension. “It’s just, you have pretty nice eyes. Logically, and all. They seem sort of like, dijon, or a dark beige-ish when you’re not up so close, but… from here I can see the glint in your eyes and it makes them look so golden. Like little specks of gold in there, y’know?”
They both were quiet for a moment, Amity looking down at Luz with light pink dusted on her cheeks, before Luz awkwardly laughed. “Maybe you could sell your eyes for a few grand.”
Instinctively, Amity cringed. “That’s… the more I think of it the more that disgusts me. Now — here, I’m almost done.”
Everything was still.
The only thing the two heard besides their own breathing was the clock that hung on the living room wall.
As Amity finished her work, she put all her tools on the paper towel on the table-side. “You can get up now, Luz. You should probably go brush your teeth while you’re at it.” Luz shuffled up from Amity’s lap, setting the light on the floor and standing up. She turned to Amity, eyes averted with her hand behind her neck.
“Uh. Thanks. A lot. I… I know you know I haven’t been all well. I know that’s why you’re helping. And…and I know how difficult I am. I’m… I’m really sorry. B—but I appreciate this. More than you know.” Her voice seemed wavering, and Amity couldn’t help looking at her, feeling like her stomach dropped to her feet. Tears welling in her eyes, as she willed herself not to cry. She shouldn’t be crying. This wasn’t about her. But it hurt. So, so so much. Seeing Luz in so much pain, feeling like anything she did wasn’t going to help. Wobbling over to her, Amity wrapped her arms around Luz, placing her forehead on her chest. She began to hiccup, tears silent, her fingertips clawing tight on Luz’s shirt.
Her voice was muffled, and her heart felt heavier than it had in such a long time. “I—I’m, I’m sorry, too.” Amity murmured.
Slowly, Luz raised her arms, holding Amity gently against her, running her fingers through her hair. She rested her chin atop of Amity and let her eyes close. “Hey…” Luz chuckled soft, “It’s… it’s okay. Let’s — let’s both forgive each other then, yeah?”
Amity felt like a fucking idiot for crying out of nowhere, for making Luz comfort her when really it should be the other way around. “Okay,” she answered, unable to force out any other words. Amity sucked in a deep breath.
“Okay.”