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“Hey Rhodey! I found this when I was cleaning the boxes out of my room, thought you might want it.” Bucky said as he entered the kitchen area where Rhodey was eating lunch.
Bucky was finally moving into avengers tower but tony had failed to clear out his room before his move in day, so he was spending the morning going through everything.
“What is that?” Rhodey asked.
“Picture of you and Tony on your first date.” Bucky said casually, going to hand the picture to Rhodey.
“Our what?! ” Rhodey said much less casually as he choked on his salad. He took the picture from Bucky and stared at it. “We aren’t- why would you- we aren’t together...” He struggled to say as he examined the picture. It was old. MIT maybe? No, Tony looked a little too old for it to be that far back. Rhodey was laughing in the picture and Tony was kissing him on the cheek.
“Huh?” It was Bucky's turn to sound surprised. “You’re not together?”
“No,” Rhodey said weakly. “Why would you think that?”
It wasn’t that he’d never thought about it. He had. He had thought about it a lot actually. Had been thinking about it for years. But being in love with Tony had never made it past a thought, even if it was a huge and terrifying thought that often consumed his whole brain.
“Well you act like a couple?” Bucky said, still sounding confused. “You’re always flirting with each other, and staring at each other, and calling each other pet names, and taking care of each other and-”
“Okay okay I get it!”
“And besides all that, it says “our first date” on the back of the photo.” Bucky finished with a shrug.
Rhodey turned the photo over. It did in fact say that. Next to the date and a little heart, in what was very clearly Tony's handwriting.
Rhodey stared at the little note, his mind racing and his mouth going dry. It was a joke right? It was probably just a joke. The kind of joke Tony made all the time.
Except it wasn’t a very funny joke. Because what about that night had made it different from any other time they hung out? What qualified it to be jokingly dubbed a date? And tony hadn’t said it to anyone, just written it there for himself. His jokes were usually meant for an audience.
Finally Rhodey realized when the photo was taken. It was when he had come back from his first tour and had gone to visit tony. They had gone out to celebrate. It had been the longest they’d gone without seeing each other since starting school together.
Rhodey vaguely remembered Tony pulling out a disposable camera and asking the bartender to take a picture of them. ‘For me to remember you by next time you abandon me’ he had joked. Rhodey had probably still been laughing at that joke when the picture was taken. The idea of him ever actually abandoning Tony was hilarious to this day.
Rhodey was pulled out of his thoughts by Bucky clearing his throat next to him. Rhodey almost jumped. For a second he had totally forgotten Bucky was still there.
“Sorry” Bucky said a little awkwardly. “I didn’t realize this would be a whole thing, just thought it was a nice picture.”
“No yeah, it is. Sorry. Just caught me off guard I guess. You think I'd be used to Tony’s jokes by now” Rhodey responded with a forced laugh.
“Yeah well, does anyone ever totally get used to tony?” Bucky joked lightly.
Rhodey just continued to stare at the picture, and then the words on the back, and then the picture again, flipping it over and over lost in his thoughts.
It was a joke , He thought to himself over and over. Nothing weird, nothing out of the ordinary for tony. Just a joke. He should be used to Tony and his jokes.
Except that was sort of the problem. He was used to tony. Whatever Bucky had said, he was so used to Tony that he sometimes felt he knew him better than he knew himself. And something felt off.
It wasn’t logical, there wasn’t any evidence that this wasn’t a joke, nothing to actually indicate anything was different from how it used to be. He was probably just letting his imagination run wild, getting his hopes up for nothing.
But he couldn’t stop reading the little note.
‘Our first date <3’
No matter how many times he read it, his brain refused to read it in Tony's signature teasing voice. It just sounded too… soft.
This was a dangerous train of thought. He needed to talk to tony. He needed to hear him laugh it off and confirm it was nothing before he dared to hope too much.
“I think Tony is down in the lab” Bucky said, as if reading Rhodey's mind.
“Thanks, I'm just gonna…” Rhodey said distractedly as he got up.
“Mmhmm” Bucky replied with a nod and a smile as Rhodey headed off in the direction of Tony’s lab.
* * *
“Hey!” Rhodey greeted Tony as he entered the lab.
“Hey honey! What’s up?” Tony called back without looking up from what he was working on.
“Bucky just gave me this old picture he found.” Rhodey started casually.
“Yeah? What of?” Tony said, still not looking up.
“Our first date.” Rhodey said, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible. He was hoping Tony's reaction would lead the conversation.
Tony froze. It only took him a few seconds to pull himself out of it but it hadn’t been quick enough to escape Rhodey's notice.
“What are you talking about?” Tony said with a forced laugh. He was definitely being weird.
Rhodey walked over to him, holding the photo in his line of vision until he finally set his tools down and took it.
“Oh this picture” he said with another forced laugh. “What, did Bucky say somethin? It’s those old fashioned values. He probably thinks it’s inappropriate to kiss before the wedding night. Did he think it was a date?”
“No, apparently you did,” Rhodey said, forcing his voice to stay light so as not to spook tony.
Tony swallowed as he flipped the photo over, giving away that he already knew what Rhodey was referring to.
“Oh, that. I forgot about that” he said with yet another fake laugh as if Rhodey couldn’t tell his real laugh from the fake ones. “That was just a joke.”
Rhodey’s heart sank a little. He had expected this but it still hurt.
But Tony was still being weird and he didn’t want to give up that easily.
“What’s the joke?” he asked curiously.
“Jokes aren’t funny when you have to explain them platypus.” Tony said, handing the photo back and picking up his tools again.
“Well it’s not very funny anyway.” Rhodey teased him back.
“It’s an inside joke”
“With who?”
“With myself. You wouldn’t get it.”
“Tony.” Rhodey said firmly, and Tony finally looked up at him. Rhodey looked back at him gently but still trying not to give his own feelings away too quickly. “Try me.”
Tony looked back at him for a minute before finally scrunching his face up and letting out a sigh.
When he finally spoke he was back to not meeting Rhodey’s eyes. “It was the first time I saw you after…” Tony started but trailed off before finishing.
“After what?” Rhodey pressed.
“It was the first time I saw you after I realized, very inconveniently I might add, while you were away risking your life that I possibly had a small crush on you so I had a joke with myself that it was our first date because it was the first time I saw you after I knew but it wasn’t a big deal and obviously it wasn’t actually a date because I wasn’t ever going to say anything to you. Just a joke with myself.” Tony rushed out very quickly, pretending to focus very hard on whatever he was tinkering with.
Rhodey’s head was spinning. There was a lot to unpack there but his mind kept going back to ‘I had a small crush on you.’ What did that mean? Had as in past tense? It had been a long time, it would make sense that Tony had moved on. Rhodey couldn’t really expect Tony Stark to sit around pining for him like he did for tony. And what constituted a small crush? Had Tony ever loved him like he loved tony? Or was it only ever just a fleeting crush?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He finally asked.
Tony sighed but finally looked back up at him. His eyes looked sad but he was trying to hide it with a casual smile. “Because, I knew you didn’t feel that way about me and I didn’t want to make things weird. Seemed safer to just get over it. Didn’t want to lose my best friend.” He shrugged as he finished but Rhodey could tell he was more anxious than he was letting on.
“Did you?” Rhodey asked.
“Did I what?”
“Did you get over it?”
“Rhodey come on… don’t ask me that it’s not fair.” Tony said with a pained expression.
He sort of had a point. Tony had already admitted a lot more to Rhodey than Rhodey had to him, and that was no small feat for tony who hated openly talking about his feelings. Rhodey would have to meet him halfway, even if it ended badly. It was only fair.
“Would it be more fair if I answered first?” he asked tony.
“What do you mean?” Tony asked cautiously.
Rhodey took a deep breath. What’s the worst that could happen? It was only his best friend and the love of his life who he lived and worked with. No big deal. Super low stakes.
“I mean, I haven’t gotten over you.” Rhodey finally said slowly. No going back now.
Tony gaped at him blinking. He looked a little bit like a fish, Rhodey thought. The sight might have made him laugh if he hadn’t been so anxious about what tony was going to say.
As the moment stretched on he got more and more anxious, thinking maybe he had made a mistake after all. Maybe he could still diffuse this, maybe it wasn’t too late.
“Is Tony Stark at a loss for words?” He teased, hoping maybe humor would turn this around. That seemed to work for Tony most of the time. “If I had known that’s all it took to get you quiet I would have-”
He was stopped by Tony, whose brain it seemed had finally come back online, jumping up and pulling him into a kiss. And god, what a kiss . Tony may be comically bad at talking about his feelings but Rhodey realized he was pretty incredible at conveying them through other methods.
“Shut up” Tony whispered against his mouth causing Rhodey to laugh. But Tony was right, this was much more important than talking.
“That answer your question?” Tony asked with a satisfied grin as he finally pulled away.
“Yeah, but I have another one,” Rhodey said grinning back. Tony gave him a questioning look.
“Looks like it’s almost our 25th anniversary, what’re you gonna get me?” Rhodey said, indicating the date on the photo. “I think silver is traditional”
“Honey I already got you a whole silver suit of armor” Tony said with a laugh.
“Thought it was titanium alloy”
“Oh shut up.” Tony grumbled affectionately before pulling Rhodey into another kiss that was good enough to qualify as a 50th anniversary present.