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“Kei, slow down or you’ll make yourself sick.”
He deliberately shovelled food into his mouth until it was nearly overflowing. He shot his mother a look.
He was, predictably, sent to his room.
Kei stomped up the stairs, wood shaking. He could hear his mother’s judgement through the walls. It was suffocating.
He clicked his bedroom door closed. He dragged himself to the bed, took off his glasses, then dove face-first into the sheets, legs hanging off the edge of the mattress.
He thought about why he was doing this. He really had no idea. Just that he couldn’t possibly do anything else at the moment. He didn’t know why. He was angry today for absolutely no reason.
All he knew was the cold sheets felt good against his overheated face.
It only took a few minutes for his bedroom door to unclick softly before clicking closed again.
Yamaguchi didn’t break the silence. Instead, he plodded over and sat down to Kei’s right, leaning back against the bed frame.
He knew it was Yamaguchi because everyone else always knocked first. However, Yamaguchi's presence didn’t require a warning, unlike everyone else. Yamaguchi transcended the need to knock.
They stayed like that for a while. Kei felt something tugging at his throat. He wanted to say something but he had no idea what it was.
When he finally gave up trying to figure it out and grumbled into the sheets, Tadashi snickered.
Right on cue.
Kei found himself answering with a muffled snicker of his own.
Soon they were both giggling.
Kei might have been crying. Just a little. He didn’t know where all this was coming from.
But it didn’t matter. He never had to explain himself to Yamaguchi, unlike everyone else.
They died down slowly, comfortably.
Kei sniffled wetly.
A little hand pawed at Kei’s own, asking for entry. He smiled and took it.
Their fingers locked together habitually, like each curve had been molded and created with the other’s hand in mind. Designed to fit perfectly into place. Like coming home.
“I’m sorry.” Kei muttered into the bed.
Yamaguchi made a little confused sound.
Kei sighed and un-smooshed his face from the bed, tilting it to the side. “I’m sorry. For acting like a jerk.”
“I’m just glad your mom didn’t send me home.” He shrugged.
“You really think she would send her favorite son home?” Kei scoffed.
“Oh come on,” Yamaguchi smirked, a mischievous spark in his eye. “Don’t diss Akiteru like that.”
Kei groaned, turning over onto his back and then relocking their newly disconnected hands. “Keep talking like that and I’ll send you home.”
Yamaguchi petted Kei’s fingers. “No more sleepover tonight?”
Kei left it hanging for a bit. Of course he wouldn’t be defeated so easily, not in his own house. So he let the loud silence stay a bit longer.
“Oh,” Yamaguchi relented. “Sorry, Tsuk--”
“I didn’t say that, Yamaguchi. Get over here.” He gave a yank and Yamaguchi was pulled up onto the bed with a yelp.
They were a mess of limbs, but a very cozy mess.
Kei wondered if it would be weird to pet Yamaguchi’s hair. He had barely decided on ‘yes, probably,’ before Yamaguchi suggested they get ready for bed.
Kei sighed but submitted to the idea because Yamaguchi was right. Doing that would be smart because Kei was just about ready to fall asleep right then.
Yamaguchi dragged them both to the bathroom to brush their teeth and whatnot, getting them both patted annoyingly on the head by Akiteru, who was ‘just passing by.’
And just like that Kei’s sour mood returned. He accidentally got water everywhere when he washed his face. But Kei couldn’t hold a frown when Yamaguchi started splashing him back, giggling like a maniac.
They were both sent to Kei’s room for that one.
When they miraculously returned to being cuddled up on the bed, Kei decided that he would pet Yamaguchi’s hair anyway, normality be damned.
Yamaguchi didn’t seem to mind, thank god. He just smiled up at Kei from within an oversized mess of borrowed pajamas and a nest of stolen blankets. Yamaguchi was all messy hair and big, goofy teeth and angry acne and splotchy, uneven, freckled skin, and he was the most beautiful thing Kei had ever seen.
Kei couldn’t breathe. He could only look. Take in as much as the universe would allow before this beautiful piece of art would get up off him.
But Yamaguchi never did get up. “Tsukki?”
“Yeah?” He said reverently.
“Can we sleep in your bed tonight? Just like this?”
Kei could’ve cried. He didn’t know why. He nodded dumbly.
Again Yamaguchi became one giant smile before burying his head into Kei’s chest.
It was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
***
However, some things weren’t made to last.
It wasn’t that there was anything wrong, per say.
No, everything was great.
Except, Kei couldn’t sleep for some reason.
He laid on his bed, the most perfect boy on top of him, cuddling like there was no tomorrow. It was heaven.
Until Kei’s skin started to itch. It started to itch all over.
He ignored it. Go to sleep, Kei. Who knows when you’ll get this chance again?!
He squeezed his eyes tightly closed.
Then, he could feel Yamaguchi’s even, sleeping breaths against him. It should have been nice. It should have been interesting to feel another human’s lungs working so close. To be able to sync up their breaths, if he wanted.
Except, Kei became acutely aware of his own breathing, too. And once he was aware of it, he couldn’t help but control it.
His world became consumed by the Am I Breathing Weird game.
It was not fun.
The itching in his skin took center stage again. Kei wanted to peel his skin off so he could finally get some rest.
He opened his eyes again.
It was dark.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
But he could still make out Yamaguchi, laying on his chest. If Kei scrunched his chin enough to look down, he could make out Yamagchi’s face.
It was so peaceful. If he woke Yamaguchi now, he’d be a monster.
Suddenly he became achingly aware of their heartbeats, too. It was infuriating being able to hear and sense and feel so much without an ounce of control or power to do anything to help.
Kei got no sleep that night.