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Kai regrets holding out an open palm once his eyes fall on Yeonjun’s hand.
Scissors.
He’s been defeated.
“You lose,” Yeonjun informs him, as if the action didn’t already speak for itself. “Go.”
Kai groans, hauling himself up from the couch. His bones crack from the movement.
He doesn’t want to stand, but a game of rock-paper-scissors is what it is, and Kai had been the one to propose the idea, in the first place.
Kai isn’t by any means a sore loser, but he shoots a glare at Yeonjun, anyway. Yeonjun flashes him a smirk; his signature smug, lopsided twitch of the lips, and Kai rolls his eyes, turning towards the hallway. Yeonjun’s laughter rings in his ears as he goes.
Taehyun’s the easiest to wake.
“Hyunnie?” Kai flicks the light switch, and he finds Taehyun on the bed, curled up beside a pillow. He lifts his head up once Kai calls him, eyes blinking slowly. “It’s dinnertime, come to the table.”
Taehyun makes a sound of acknowledgement, and Kai shuts the door. Easy.
Soobin’s another story.
His room is right next to Kai and Taehyun’s; a tad smaller and a lot messier. There are jackets strewn on the floor. Bottles on his bedside table. An array of polaroids loosely taped to the wall, a few of them visibly hanging on for dear life. Kai watches as one detaches completely, falling to the ground on his way to the bed.
Soobin is sleeping soundly. Kai latches onto a sock-clad foot, and pulls.
“What the hell—!”
“Dinner’s ready, hyung,” Kai giggles, dragging Soobin down. Soobin yelps, hands anchoring on Kai’s shoulders, trying to stop him.
It’s no use. Kai obviously has the upper hand. They both end up on the ground, Soobin grumbling and Kai victorious. Soobin promises to be at the table in five minutes—an expression that roughly translates to ten, maybe even fifteen—and Kai lets him go.
Beomgyu, much to Kai’s surprise, isn’t asleep.
Kai finds him by his closet, flicking through a copious amount of clothes. His back faces Kai; Beomgyu probably didn’t hear him enter.
“Hyung?” Kai clears his throat.
Beomgyu spins around, eyebrows raised. When he sees Kai, his face relaxes, molds into something like a smile.
It makes Kai’s insides curl. Just a little.
“What’s up?” Beomgyu shuts the cabinet.
“It’s dinnertime.”
“Oh. Alright.”
Kai watches Beomgyu make a beeline for his table, grabbing a comb. He glances over his shoulder. “I’ll be quick. Wait for me here?”
Kai nods, he can do that.
Beomgyu’s hands are nimble. He brushes his hair back, peering at himself in the mirror. His bangs fall forward, touching the tips of his eyes. Beomgyu frowns. Swipes the hair away with his fingers.
"Your hair's getting really long, hyung."
The strands reach Beomgyu's nape. They end in soft waves by his neck, silky smooth.
Kai wonders what it would feel like, if he cards his fingers through it. If he reaches out, twirls a section of the hair around his finger.
No. He shouldn’t.
"Mm," Beomgyu hums. His eyes meet Kai’s through the reflection in the mirror. "Do you think I should get a haircut?"
It's a knee-jerk reaction; Kai doesn't think before he blurts out a rushed, clipped, “Absolutely not.”
His hands fly to cover his mouth as soon as he hears himself. What the hell is he saying? Kai blinks in terror, throat dry.
This is… great. Absolutely terrific. Now Beomgyu’s going to think Kai has a thing for his hair—well, maybe Kai does, maybe that surge of excitement he’d felt upon hearing their stylists’s choices for the latest comeback meant something.
He’d processed the words Beomgyu wolf cut too jarringly, he ended up banging his knee on the meeting table. Yeonjun sent him a look. Soobin threw him multiple. Taehyun approached him during their break, cornering him by the water dispenser. Kai waved it off, blaming it on his lack of sleep, and although reluctant, Taehyun let it slide.
Seconds later, Kai crashed into Beomgyu, his water spilling everywhere.
Beomgyu froze, damp shirt clinging to his skin as Kai apologized profusely, rambling about cleaning the mess up himself and personally asking their managers to prepare a change of clothes. But then Beomgyu had laughed—in that trademark, sunny way of his—and assured him it was alright.
(And no, Kai did not miss the smug look on Taehyun’s face.)
After making a complete fool of himself at that meeting, Kai vowed to never repeat the same mistakes again.
It’s just hair. And it isn’t even his own.
He stayed relatively silent about the topic of Beomgyu’s hair during their promotions. Turned the other way whenever it was talked about, clicked close on articles that mentioned it.
It was hard, Kai won’t lie. But he did pull it off nicely—as perfectly as he possibly could, considering the fact that Beomgyu is the living, walking personification of Kai’s dreams.
But Kai had slipped now, during their downtime after a month of comeback schedules, and Kai is never going to live this down, isn't he?
Beomgyu seems to be enjoying Kai’s internal conflict. His head’s tilted ever so slightly, coupled with a knowing eyebrow raise.
"I—I mean," Kai tries to save face, embarrassment clouding his judgement, "if you want to cut it shorter, then go—go ahead. I was just saying that I, uh... I like this length on you."
It suits you a lot, Kai thinks, as Beomgyu lets out a lilting laugh. His hair moves with him, its tips brushing the material of his hoodie as he shakes his head.
"Silly." Beomgyu takes Kai's hands in his, effectively pulling Kai closer to him. "Of course I won't cut it. Not when you like it this much."
"Hyung," Kai whines in exasperation.
Beomgyu coos, pinching Kai’s cheeks. Pulls at the skin. Kai tries to protest, but his words come out garbled, an unintelligible mash of syllables from all the squeezing.
“Too cute.”
Kai can feel his resolve crumbling. Can hear his heart in his ears, a step away from bursting.
“Stop babying me.”
“Alright,” Beomgyu says, though his eyes are still full of mirth. He beckons Kai over, finger curling in a come here gesture. Kai squints, suspicious, but moves forward. He feels Beomgyu hold onto his shirt as he leans in. His mouth is dangerously close to Kai’s ear.
Involuntarily, Kai’s eyes flutter shut.
“Your hair’s nice, too,” Beomgyu whispers. “The blonde really suits you, Kai-yah.”
“Hyung!”
Kai flails. He stumbles and his back hits the cabinet with a harsh, resounding thud. “That’s not—you weren’t supposed to—”
Beomgyu laughs, clearly losing it. “Cute,” he says. “So cute.”
Kai groans. He tries to hide his face behind his fingers, but his hands are shaking and the attempt is futile. He bangs his head backwards instead, throwing an arm over his eyes.
“Get out, hyung.”
“Fine.” Though he can’t see, Kai can imagine the sickening grin on Beomgyu’s face. “I’ll leave before your face erupts into flames.”
“Fuck you!”
Beomgyu has the audacity to hum on his way out.
Once he’s gone, Kai falls face-down on the bed.
What the fuck. What the actual fuck.
He lands on a pillow, nose digging into the cotton. He breathes in, having the familiar, comforting scent take all his thoughts away. The smell is warm, light, and reminds him so much of—wait.
Beomgyu’s sleeping oil.
He scrambles out, gasps in horror. Right. He’s in Beomgyu’s room, and he’d just landed, face flat, on Beomgyu’s pillow. On Beomgyu’s bed, where he sleeps.
For the record, Kai’s face does erupt into flames.
“Why are things weird between you and Beomgyu-hyung?”
Kai loses his balance. He fumbles with the buttons on the treadmill, fingers flying over the symbols, until he finds the power switch and presses it, hard.
“They are not!” He sputters, heart rate spiking from both Taehyun’s accusation and his almost-accident. He is never agreeing to workout with Taehyun ever again.
For the most part, Taehyun’s unfazed. He keeps running. “You refuse to sit beside him. You come up with excuses whenever he asks you to hang out. And,” he squints, “you get antsy whenever he’s mentioned. Like, what the hell happened just now?” He gestures towards Kai, who’s still standing on the stationary machine, gaping.
“Um,” Kai says, eloquently. “I, uh.”
“Exactly.” Taehyun turns his treadmill off, too, slowing to a walk. He grabs his towel and wipes his face with it. “I know you like him, but please. Do something about it already.”
“You… know?” Kai mumbles, before he realizes he’d just confirmed Taehyun’s statement.
Fuck.
“It’s painfully obvious, haven’t you realized?”
Kai shakes his head slowly, eyes wide, hand over his mouth. The horror in his face must show, because Taehyun frowns. “Hey,” he says, voice soft. “It’s just Beomgyu-hyung.”
Well, Taehyun’s right.
It’s just Beomgyu. Beomgyu, who always notices when something’s off with Kai, who feeds him his leftovers, who holds his hand during scary rollercoaster rides. Beomgyu, who teases him all the time, whose laugh when he succeeds in evoking a flush out of Kai almost makes the teasing worth it.
“Yeah,” Kai mumbles, too tired to deny anything any longer. “I’m just scared, I guess. Beomgyu-hyung’s…” he trails off, shrugging. “You know.”
Right at that moment, the gym doors open.
No, the universe is definitely not on Kai’s side that day, because Beomgyu walks in.
He’s in full on workout gear, a towel slung over his shoulder. He has a water bottle in one hand. He looks… good, but that’s not all.
Beomgyu’s hair is tied back, and he’s wearing a headband. A few strands still frame his face, but his hair’s tied back, and Kai is trying his hardest not to lose his mind.
Pretty. Kai’s brain short circuits. He’s too pretty.
“Hey!” Beomgyu waves enthusiastically upon spotting the two. “Are you leaving already?”
“Well, I have a schedule in…” Taehyun turns his phone on, presumably to check the time, “thirty minutes, but Kai—”
“—Has a schedule, too.”
Taehyun shoots him an incredulous look.
“Ah,” Beomgyu nods. His bangs fall into his eyes, he sweeps them away. “Alright.”
Kai smiles widely, hopes it doesn’t look too forced, and links his arms with Taehyun’s. “We’ll see you at the dorm, hyung. Bye!”
He drags Taehyun towards the exit.
“Liar,” Taehyun hisses through his teeth as they walk down the hall. “Coward. What did I just tell you?”
“Relax, Hyunnie. I’ll talk to him soon enough. Just… not now.”
Taehyun sighs. Clings onto Kai a little tighter. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Kai doesn’t get to approach Beomgyu until the end of that week.
Their schedules were tight, a loop of solo projects and group practices. They were all exhausted, and upon arriving home, they had room for nothing but rest.
Unfortunately for Kai, the cycle dragged on until the weekend. He and Soobin were the only ones called that day—Soobin for a meeting and Kai for some track polishing—and while the work was rewarding, it completely drained his energy.
By the time Kai gets the go signal to leave the company building, it’s already eleven in the evening.
Lethargy seeps into his bones even as he steps inside the dorm. No one’s home yet, it seems, the others probably went out for dinner or something.
Whatever, it’s fine. Kai decides to wait. He collapses onto the couch, and tries his hardest to stay awake.
He has to talk to Beomgyu. He has to. He can’t delay things anymore, he can’t—
It’s the last thought in his head before he finds himself succumbing to the depths of slumber.
“Hey.”
Kai blinks awake at the voice. There’s a sharp, pounding ache in his head that he doesn’t remember being there before. He turns to look at his side and finds Beomgyu, already in his pajamas. “Let’s get you to bed?”
It takes a few seconds for Kai to register what Beomgyu said, and another moment to affirm. His legs are shaky when he stands, and his head protests, throbbing in pain. Kai grits his teeth. Chokes on a whimper.
That hurt.
Much to Kai’s embarrassment, Beomgyu notices.
“Whoa there,” he holds onto Kai’s arms as if to stop him from moving any further. “What's wrong, Kai-yah?”
“Got a headache, I think.”
Beomgyu sighs, makes a tsk tsk sound. He mumbles something Kai doesn’t catch the entirety of, though Kai does hear the words overworked and tired and poor baby.
“I’m not,” he swallows, “‘m’not a baby, hyung.”
“That’s what you hear after all I’ve said?” Beomgyu laughs softly. “But okay. I’ll bring a glass of water over to your room while you go wash up. How’s that sound?”
Your room.
“No,” Kai croaks. “Not my room, I—please.”
What is he even saying? Kai’s throat closes up and he sniffs. Between the heaviness clinging to his skin and the pain plaguing his head, he doesn’t know what to do.
“Oh,” Beomgyu breathes. “It’s okay, Kai-yah, c’mere,” and Kai melts into Beomgyu’s hold, head on his shoulder, eyes squeezed tight. Beomgyu traces loose, jumbled lines on his back. Kai allows himself a few moments of this, whatever it is.
“You can sleep with me tonight, if that’d make you feel any better.”
The offer is so promising, Kai nods right away. He hopes his rational self doesn’t freak out too much in the morning.
Kai’s headache fades into a dull, occasional throb after he showers and changes.
Beomgyu’s already prepared a pillow for him. He beckons Kai over with a smile, and Kai follows.
“Better?”
“Yeah.”
Kai feels the blankets rustle beside him. The bed dips slightly as Beomgyu inches a little closer.
It’s still too much space.
“You don’t do it anymore,” Kai mumbles, feeling hollow.
“Do what?” Beomgyu cards his fingers through Kai’s hair. Kai leans into the touch, a dazed smile tugging on his lips.
“Kiss my forehead.”
The fingers stop.
“Do you—do you want me to?”
Kai nods, and even his own desperation catches him off guard. “Please.”
He can’t see Beomgyu, his eyes are already closed, but he feels him. Feels the press of Beomgyu’s lips on his forehead; once, twice.
Kai’s warm all over.
“Was that okay?”
Kai doesn't answer. Instead, he tucks his head under Beomgyu’s chin. “Missed you,” he slurs. “Missed hyungie so much.”
Arms circle around him, holding him tight, and Kai dreams.
Yeonjun passes Kai a bag of chips as he steps inside the company van.
“Thanks, hyung,” Kai tells him, and shoves a handful into his mouth. God, he’s hungry.
After a few minutes of back-and-forths, Yeonjun clears his throat. “So,” he begins, “what happened with you and Beomgyu last night?”
Kai chokes, and the events of that evening float back to him. The dizzying headache. The prickle of tears at the thought of Beomgyu leaving him. The forehead kiss.
“Shit,” he says. “Shit, shit, shit—”
Yeonjun frowns. “That bad?”
“Yes!” Kai tugs at his hair in frustration. “I was out of it, okay? I didn’t—” Didn’t mean to, yes.
But he did enjoy every single second of it—even the agonizing headache—and that’s what makes Kai slump forward, groaning at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.
What is he, a lovesick fool?
“I’m gonna need you to walk me through this one, Kai. What happened?”
Kai tells Yeonjun everything. Starts from his way home from the company, ends with how he fell asleep in Beomgyu’s bed. He winces at all the embarrassing parts, which really means he keeps his pained face on for most of it.
“That doesn’t sound too bad.”
“I asked him to kiss me!”
“On the forehead. Nothing he hasn’t done before.”
Yeonjun’s right, but that doesn’t quell the rattles in Kai’s system.
“Look at it this way,” Yeonjun turns to face him. “You’re okay—you both are. Beomgyu likes you. You like Beomgyu. Kissing was bound to happen, and asking him to kiss you? That’s nothing.”
Kai zones out at the words Beomgyu likes you. He doesn’t realize they’ve reached the company, doesn’t feel the car slow to a stop.
“Think about it.” Yeonjun pats Kai’s shoulder, slides the door open, and steps out.
Kai’s had enough of waiting.
He snoops around, jumps from one room to another, in hopes of figuring out Beomgyu’s schedule. Kai’s phone is dead, so texting Beomgyu is out of the question. Besides, he can’t prolong this any longer.
The ghost of Beomgyu’s lips on his forehead taunts him, and his head is going to explode.
Kai rounds his nth corner of the day, stopping in his tracks as he almost bumps into Soobin.
“Hyung,” Kai greets, rushed. “Do you know where Beomgyu-hyung is?”
Soobin points behind him. “Recording studio.”
“You’re the best, you know that?”
“Yeah, right.” Soobin scoffs. “Have fun.”
No, Kai doesn’t even try deciphering the implications of Soobin’s statement. Whatever.
The recording studio’s not too far, though it’s located at the very end of that hall. Kai breaks into a jog until he reaches the entrance. He opens the door with trembling fingers.
Beomgyu whirls around quickly. “Oh,” his eyes widen. “Hello.”
Kai allows himself a split second to be relieved at how he hadn’t caught Beomgyu in the middle of a recording session—by the looks of it, Beomgyu had only been browsing through a few files before Kai barged in.
Thank god. Kai doesn’t think he can wait anymore.
“Hi.” Kai swallows. “Can we talk?”
Beomgyu leads them to a tiny room at the back, because someone could walk in, Kai-yah, we’re inside the company building. Kai feels himself flush at that.
Think, Kai, he chides himself. Don’t you dare waste this.
Once they’ve settled in, Beomgyu talks. “Why’d you come here?”
“I’m sorry,” Kai says. There. Straight to the point, simple.
Beomgyu just looks baffled. “For what?”
“Oh, you know.” Kai waves his arms around sheepishly. “Last night.”
“That?” Beomgyu erupts into laughter. “You were cute, why are you apologizing?”
There he goes again, calling Kai cute. “Was not.”
“See!” Beomgyu taps at Kai’s cheek. “Heating up already. You're too cute, you’ll be the end of me one day.”
And he grins, as if Kai's heart hadn't flipped and stumbled and given out. “W-what?”
“Do you need me to spell it out for you?”
Beomgyu’s staring at him with that same look on his face. The head tilt, the fond eyes. The tiny smile on his lips. It’s the same face that has Kai craving for stupid things—kissing Beomgyu, for example.
God, he really wants to kiss him.
And suspended in that moment, Kai thinks Beomgyu might want it, too.
Do you want this, hyung? Do you feel the way I do?
So Kai topples over, first glimpse of the unknown, and it doesn’t matter if the fall is messy, clumsy, gawky—it’s just Beomgyu, after all.
“I like you, hyung,” Kai blurts out, heart in the open, because no matter what the outcome of Kai’s words may be, this is just Beomgyu.
He doesn’t realize he’d been fiddling with his fingers until Beomgyu puts his hand over them. Kai stops breathing as he looks up to meet Beomgyu’s gaze.
“Not just because of my hair?”
Oh. Now that’s Beomgyu, alright.
“No!” Kai burns again, and Beomgyu laughs, though it’s softer this time. “Listen. I’ll—uh, I’ll prove it.”
“How?”
“Like this,” Kai says, and he cradles Beomgyu’s face in his hands. Pulls him close. Leans in until their noses touch.
“Getting bold on me, huh.”
“Shut up, hyung.” Kai brushes Beomgyu’s bangs away from his eyes. With a newfound surge of adrenaline, he adds, “Gonna kiss you now.”
He watches Beomgyu’s eyes close; gentle, soft. Kai’s heart lurches in his stomach—and he goes for it.
Beomgyu takes the lead once their lips touch, treads slowly at first, then all at once. He kisses as if he knows exactly what Kai wants. Knows what to do, how to reduce him into a wobbly, shaky mess. Kai absentmindedly runs his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair. Tugs a little. It’s the right thing to do, it seems, because Beomgyu sinks into Kai, holding him tighter, kissing him harder.
“Are we boyfriends, now?” Kai’s loopy. He probably looks like a mess.
“So goddamn cute,” Beomgyu mutters. He grabs Kai by the shirt. Kisses him again. Quicker, with more fervor. When they pull apart, Kai is out of breath and fairly certain he’s ruined for anything and everything else. Why didn’t this happen sooner?
“Did that answer your question, Kai-yah?”
Beomgyu, much to Kai’s relief, looks out of it, too. He’s heaving, eyes slightly unfocused. The flush on his cheeks spreads down to his neck. The tips of his ears are red.
Pretty. Beomgyu is so breathtakingly pretty.
“Yeah,” Kai whispers, and finds himself leaning in once more.
“Goodbye, my love.” Kai pouts. He zooms into the picture with his fingers, assessing the strands all over the floor. “You were so good.”
“Dramatic as hell,” Beomgyu whines, snatching the phone from behind Kai. He hears Beomgyu lock it, hears a dull thump as the device lands on the sheets. “With the way you're talking, it’s like you're dating my hair and not me.”
Kai laughs, rolling over on the bed to face him.
Beomgyu’s back to his normal haircut now. Kai’s seen it coming, with the new comeback preparations and all, but it’s still bittersweet. No more hair past his nape. Gone are the strands curling towards his chin.
“That was your best hair, hyung. Let me mourn.”
“But it’s time for it to retire now, yeah?” Beomgyu kisses the pout from Kai’s lips. “It made you step up your game, and you’re here now. With me.” Kai giggles at that. “I think it served its time really well.”
It does make sense. There’s no point in grieving anymore. Kai can’t, not when he’s got Beomgyu with him, after walking on eggshells for so long. He’s happy, and Beomgyu’s happy, and that’s all Kai could ever want.
“Yeah,” Kai agrees. “Besides, hyung looks pretty all the time.”
Kai watches in amusement as Beomgyu sputters, splash of red on his cheeks.
Another perk of dating Choi Beomgyu: Kai’s grown used to his little quirks. He knows how to make him flush, choke on his words. It’s nice, the teasing jabs are fun. Makes Kai feel great, how he can have Beomgyu reacting like this.
“Kai Kamal Huening,” Beomgyu digs his pointer finger into Kai’s chest, “you are down bad.”
Kai grins. “Can’t argue with that.”