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October 31st, Shibuya
Gojo Satoru knew something was off as soon as he stepped a foot in Shibuya. There was this nagging feeling on the back of his mind and a weird pressure on his heart. He brushed it off, thinking it must have been due to the high amount of cursed energy and curses that were out there.
It was worse than what he —or anyone for that matter— had expected. The train station was full of mutated people, who couldn’t be saved. And right in the middle of the commotion were Jogo and Hanami, the curses who had been pestering sorcerers for months, especially him. Well, Satoru guessed the time had finally come to end them.
Satoru was doing great, defeating all curses and mutated people that came at him. He was doing great until… he wasn’t. All of a sudden he heard a voice. A voice he was not supposed to hear ever again. Satoru froze, thinking it was a curse messing with him or, even worse, his imagination playing tricks on him.
But he heard the voice again. The strongest sorcerer didn’t want to turn around. He could recognize that voice anywhere and he knew that voice belonged to Suguru… his one and only, his best friend, the love of his life. But Suguru had been dead for years, he made sure of it. Then… how come he was hearing him now of all the times?
“Yo! Satoru! Baby, long time no see!”
Against his better judgment, Satoru turned around and it felt like he had been punched. There, in front of him, was Suguru Getou. Rationally, he knew this wasn’t possible. Rationally, he knew this had to be an imposter. But his heart still clenched painfully at the sight and he wanted to cry. Because, yes, that guy might be an imposter but it was Suguru’s voice, Suguru’s face and Suguru’s body right in front of him, smiling.
Rage filled Satoru’s soul. How dare someone use Suguru just to get to him? He was furious and he was going to make the imposter pay.
“Who are you?”
“What do you mean? I’m Suguru Getou. Or did you forget about me, Sa-to-ru?”
Satoru could only feel rage. Did that imposter think he was stupid?
“Who the fuck are you? My six eyes tell me you’re Suguru Getou… but my soul knows otherwise.”
“Your soul, huh? What does your soul tell you?”, said Sugur- —not Suguru, the imposter—in a mocking tone.
“That you’re a fucking imposter, so reveal yourself right now.”
“Why, can’t bare the sight of your one and only, your lover, the one you killed with your own hands?”
Satoru paled, hands trembling. He couldn’t let the imposter words affect him, but it was hard. The memories were trying to make its way through his brain.
“How do-“
“How do I know?”, laughed the imposter. “Well, when I accessed this body I also had access to his memories… A soul remembers everything. And that’s how I found out even the strongest sorcerer had a weakness. Funny, don’t you think?”
All of a sudden, the imposter opened his skull and a weird brain was there.
“You should have let his body be cremated as it should have been and you would have prevented this, but feelings are a nuisance. Isn't that right, Satoru? Guess I’ll have to thank Suguru, for he made it possible for the strongest to be caught.”
“What are you talking about, you cursed spirit? You haven’t caught me.”
“Oh, yes, I have. You were so distracted by the sight of your Suguru that it gave us enough time to trap you.”
Satoru found himself unable to move. He started panicking, but he didn’t let it show. The imposter had a strange box in his hand and he was reaching for Satoru.
But suddenly one of the imposter’s hands went to his own neck, squeezing, as if trying to choke himself. The imposter himself seemed surprised. The strongest sorcerer felt as if something, for a moment, changed within the imposter’s energy, his soul.
“Oh? That’s new. It seems this body still has an instinct to protect you. He must have loved you very much, huh? My, my, love truly is an amazing thing”.
Satoru’s voice trembled, he spoke softly.
“Suguru? Love? Are you— somehow… there?”
The imposter managed to overpower the disobedient hand and approached Satoru, laughing.
“Oh, please, don’t make me laugh. He is not here. The only thing that remains of him is this body. Which has been useful, after all if we take out the strongest, the rest is easy.”
Satoru tried to fight the curse user, he really did, but his body wasn’t reacting. He couldn’t focus, he could only think of Suguru. And that’s how the strongest sorcerer alive got sealed in a box. Although he had faith his students were going to get him out.
Time passed by differently inside the box. Satoru couldn’t really tell how much time had passed since he had been sealed. And there, with his thoughts as his only companion, he couldn’t help but reminisce about the moments he lived with Suguru. Seeing his body again, hearing his voice, made all the memories he had tried to forget come back in full force.
1.
Satoru remembered the moment he had realized he was in love with the other sorcerer. They had just finished a mission against some special grade curses and, of course, they had won. Suguru had gotten slightly injured and Satoru had insisted on tending to his wounds himself (to Suguru’s dismay), as they were not that deep.
Satoru had patched all Suguru’s wounds with such gentleness and tenderness that he himself had been surprised. Suguru, for some unknown reason, had been quiet the entire time and let him do whatever he wanted.
The strongest remembered taking care of Suguru’s hands and how in that moment he had thought Suguru’s hands were beautiful, delicate. When he had finished patching up all the wounds, he hadn’t known what come over him but, before he had known it, he had left a kiss on each of Suguru’s fingers.
And then realization had hit him. He had stepped back, blushing and nervous. He had tried to act as if he wasn’t panicking, had looked up at Suguru and had seen his cheeks were rosy. Satoru’s heart had started beating faster.
“I heard that if you kiss a wound it heals faster… and I want you to heal soon so we can fight again so…”, had mumbled Satoru, scratching his neck.
Suguru had laughed softly at that. Or, more like, at Satoru.
“That’s what people tell kids so they stop crying, you dumbass.”
“Are you calling me a kiddo? So mean, Suguru!”
“Well, you sure act like one. First, the “healing” kiss and now you’re stomping your feet just because I called you a kid. Sounds pretty childish to me”.
Satoru had puffed out his cheeks.
“I’m not a kiddo, I’m literally the strongest!”
“Yeah, the strongest kiddo!”, had said Suguru, laughing out loud.
Satoru had faced away, mad, so he wouldn’t see Suguru. And then, he had felt a hand tugging his shirt. At that, he had turned to face the other boy again.
“What?”
Suguru had gotten up and had approached Satoru. Then, softly:
“Could you let me through your infinity?”
“Uh, sure?”
And then Suguru had invaded Satoru’s personal space and… he had kissed his cheek. Both boys had blushed furiously.
“Thank you… for taking care of my wounds, of me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, moron. I-I gotta go.”
Satoru had flown away. He had panicked, his heart had been beating really fast. Too fast. He had been sure it was going to explode. And he had felt giddy and happy, and his stomach had felt weird. As if there had been butterflies in it.
And in that moment he had realized something that he had known for a long time but tried to ignore. In that moment he had known he was in love with Suguru Geto. His best friend.
2.
Satoru also remembered their first kiss. That day they had gotten a detention because they couldn’t stop teasing principal Yaga. It was so fun teasing the older! And, as usual, they had gotten a detention because the principal had run out of patience.
Bored in one classroom, Satoru and Suguru had started bickering and they were throwing the wittier insults at the other. Eventually, they had started making paper balls and throwing them at each other faces just to shut the other up. But of course that had only served as a way to tease the other. At some point, they had started laughing and neither of them had known why. Had it been because Suguru managed to knock Satoru’s sunglasses with a paper ball? Had it been because Satoru aimed his paper balls at Suguru’s hair and his hair ended up being a mess?
The sunset light had filtered through the window, hitting Suguru. And for Satoru the view had been breath-taking. Suguru’s sweet laugh, Suguru’s dimples when laughing, Suguru’s sweet eyes. The light shining down on Suguru. His brain was filled with a single thought: Suguru.
The view had been so breath-taking that he had stopped laughing without realizing it, almost gasping. So breath-taking that he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off Suguru.
The other boy was… beautiful. In that moment, sunlight shining down on him, Suguru had seemed an angel on Earth, ethereal. It had been at that very moment when Satoru had felt the urge to kiss him and confess his feelings. An urge so intense he couldn’t shake it off.
Suguru had felt the gaze on him and stopped laughing. He had tilted his head, confused and frowning.
“What are you staring at, idiot?”
The white-haired boy had made a decision at that very moment. Suguru’s question had been an opportunity he didn’t want to miss.
“You.”
“No shit, Sherlock. Why are you staring at me that much? Do I have something on my face?”
“No. You’re just beautiful.”
Suguru’s mouth had fallen open upon hearing that and his cheeks were rosy.
“Wha- What’s gotten into you now?”
“I’m just saying the truth.”
Suguru hadn’t replied at that. He had stared at the other boy, as if waiting for something, and Satoru had moved without thinking.
He had invaded the other sorcerer’s personal space and his hand had reached out, brushing hair out of Suguru’s face. Then, his hand had stopped at the dark-haired boy’s cheek, caressing it softly.
Both boys had been holding their breath, afraid of speaking, of breaking the moment. Satoru hadn’t stopped his sweet caresses and his blue eyes had flickered down to Suguru’s soft lips and then had gone back up to his eyes, searching for an answer.
“Suguru?”, had whispered Satoru.
“Y-Yeah?”, the other boy had stuttered.
“Can I… Can I kiss you, please?”
Suguru had smiled sweetly, humming.
“Thought you would never ask.”
“I’m not sure that’s an answer.”
Suguru had rolled his eyes, but nevertheless his answer had come with the form of “Yes, Satoru, I want you to kiss me, please”.
No more words had been needed. Satoru, still caressing Suguru’s cheek, closed the gap between the two and his lips touched soft ones, definitely softer than expected. Both boys hummed into the kiss, savouring it. It had been a soft kiss, where Satoru had tried to pour all his feelings.
When they had broken apart, out of breath, after a few more kisses, they had been smiling like the idiots they were.
“I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.”
“I like you too.”
“Really?”
“Do you think I’d have let you kiss me if I didn’t?”
“Maybe?”
“You’re a fucking idiot, Satoru. And an oblivious one at that.”
“But you like me anyways.”
“Unfortunately, yeah. I’m starting to regret it now.”
“Boo! So mean!”
“And what about it?”
“Nothing. Let’s date?”
“Let’s date.”
They had kept on kissing on that classroom until the principal had come to tell them detention time was up. Needless to say, Yaga had yelled at them that “kissing is inappropriate at school!”, and both boys had just laughed and run past Yaga, who had threatened them with more detention but in separate classrooms.
And if while running away they had stopped at some point to share a few more kisses, well, that would be their secret.
3.
Satoru recalled the first time they had said “I love you” to each other. It had been unexpected but it had come naturally to them on one summer evening.
That day they had been lazing around in Satoru’s room, just talking and cuddling. Suguru had been wearing his hair down and it had gotten messy. Satoru hadn’t been able to stop himself from softly threading his fingers through the other’s hair. He had been at it for a while and Suguru had his eyes closed and had been almost purring due to the caresses. Suddenly, the strongest had come up with the greatest idea and he had been excited about it.
“Hey, love.”
“Mmm?”
“Will you please let me do your hair?”
“Now? In the middle of cuddling?”
“Yes, now. We can cuddle later! Come on, please, please, please, please-“
“Ugh, fine. Just shut up.”
Satoru had grinned in victory. Both boys had sat up in bed, Suguru in Satoru’s lap, back almost against the other’s chest. The white-haired boy had picked up a comb and started brushing the other boy’s hair.
He had softly combed black hair back while humming, trying to decide whether to make a ponytail or a bun. In the end he had decided for a new hairstyle. After all, Suguru had always worn either a bun or a ponytail, so he had concluded he was going to braid the other sorcerer’s hair. Suguru had never braided his hair, so the white-haired boy was curious to see how he would look like with little braids.
He had picked up some hair ties that Suguru had left there and started with his mission. It had been kind of tricky since he had never braided someone’s hair before, but, well, there’s always a first time for everything.
By the time he had finished, he hadn’t realized how much time had passed by, but Suguru had stayed quiet the whole time, letting Satoru do whatever he wanted. He had seemed relaxed, happy. Satoru had guessed Suguru liked when he played, caressed or touched his hair.
“Suguru?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you turn around? So I can see how you look?”
“Ugh, so demanding.”
Despite complaining, Suguru had turned around in Satoru’s lap, facing him. And Satoru had been taken aback by his beauty.
“How do I look?”
Suguru had always been beautiful, but there was something about him with the braids Satoru had made that made him look even prettier. And in that very moment, Satoru had been overcome with such an intense feeling of love. He hadn’t been able to stop himself and he had kissed Suguru all over his face. His lips, his cheeks, his nose, his hair and, finally, his forehead.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“I love you.”
Oh shit. Satoru hadn’t planned for his first ‘I love you’ to go like this but guess those things were better when not planned. After all, it came natural to him, at the right time. Still, he had frozen and he could feel Suguru had frozen upon hearing it as well.
His heart had clenched painfully because what if Suguru didn’t really love him? What if it was too early to say that? But, then, Suguru had just smiled, thrown his arms around him and softly said:
“I love you too, Satoru”, before kissing him senseless.
That day they hadn’t left the bed at all, both boys had been lost in their love, forgetting the world around them. That day it had just been them, Suguru and Satoru. No one and nothing else had existed for them.
4.
Satoru remembered how Suguru had comforted him in Okinawa. Neither of them had known that day would be the calm before the storm, their last happy moment.
Satoru had been exhausted, he had been using his Infinity for days, non-stop. He hadn’t wanted to risk it. As the strongest, he had felt the need to protect everyone. Even Suguru, who he had known was capable of giving a good fight. After all, he was the second strongest.
Using his Inifinity had made Satrou exhausted, sleepy, he had huge dark circles under his eyes and he couldn’t bring himself to try and mask them. He had been acting his cocky self as usual as to not worry anyone, but, deep down, he had just wanted to stop it and sleep. But he had to be strong for a few more hours.
Of course, he couldn’t fool Suguru and the other boy had noticed.
“You’ve been using your Infinity non-stop since we got here, right?”
Satoru had considered lying, but there was no point. He had already been caught.
“Yeah, you know I have to. But don’t worry, I’m fine!”
“You’re not fine and you don’t have to. You can rely on me and my strength, you know?”
“But I’m the strongest!”
“Even the strongest need help sometimes. Besides, you’re still human.”
Satoru had sighed but he kept on using his Infinity. Both boys had shared a room so, at night, it had been hard to mask the migraines due to overuse of his technique. On that particular night, the last night there, Satoru had the worst migraine ever.
He gripped his hair, trying to make the pain stop to no avail. He had known if he stopped his Infinity the migraine would have probably gone away. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that. He had to protect anyone.
Suguru had found him like this. On the floor, gripping his hair, face burrowed on his knees. Shaking and mumbling to himself.
The other boy had rushed to him, kneeling in front of him and caressing his arms in a comforting manner. Satoru had never told him about his migraines, so Suguru at that moment had been completely lost at what was going on.
“Satoru? Baby, look at me. What’s wrong?”
The white-haired boy had shaken his head, whimpering.
“Nothing, don’t worry”, he had said in a low voice.
Suguru had been fuming.
“This doesn’t look like nothing, Satoru. For fuck’s sake, what’s wrong? Let me help you.”
“Technique overuse. Migraine.”
“You’ve gotten yourself a migraine?”
Satoru hadn’t replied and that had been answer enough for Suguru, who had sighed.
“Why don’t you drop your technique, Satoru?”
“You know why.”
“Nothing is going to happen if you drop it, Satoru.”
“I can’t do that. I won’t do that, Suguru. Infinity stays on.”
“You’re really stubborn, aren’t you?”
“…”
“Then, how can I help you?”
“I don’t know…”, had whimpered the strongest.
“I think I have an idea. Come here, love.”
Suguru had gathered Satoru in his arms, picking him up. He had sat on bed, back against the headboard with Satoru on his lap. He had pulled the strongest close to him, hiding the other boy’s face on his neck after kissing his eyelids, his temple and his forehead. He had turned off the light and lightly rocked them both, to comfort the other boy.
He had caressed his white hair and his back, whispering reassurance in a low voice. He had stayed up all night like this.
And Satoru had sworn that night his migraine had gotten better thanks to all that, but he had never thanked Suguru for it. And now he regretted that.
5.
Unfortunately, Satoru vividly remembers the day he had killed his one and only, his best friend, his lover, as if it had just happened yesterday.
Everything had went sour after Okinawa. He hadn’t been able to get a hold of Suguru and when he had heard the higher-ups wanted him dead because he had become a curse user, he couldn’t believe it. But it was the truth, and Satoru had known he was the one who should kill him.
The first time he had seen him after the news, Satoru had wanted to knock some sense into his brain, had wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him he still loved him, even after all he had done.
But he couldn’t do that, Suguru must have known what he wished for, as he looked at him with such sad eyes. And, Satoru, on the verge of tears couldn’t help himself and asked:
“Why?”
“You know why, Satoru. This world needs to change.”
“But you could’ve changed it as a sorcerer.”
“No, I couldn’t. I’m not as strong as you.”
“Do you know that now I have to kill you?”
“I know. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!”
“Yes it is, Satoru. Each one of us has values and if we die defending them, then our death would be worthy. And, Satoru, if someone has to kill me, I’d rather if it’s you… love.”
Satoru had tried to manifest his energy but, in the end he had let Suguru escape that time. When Yaga asked him about it, he couldn’t help but laugh bitterly, defeated. Suguru was his one and only, the love of his live, of course he had to let him go.
The second time he had come across Suguru it was their last encounter. That was the time he had killed Suguru. After wounding him, they still had a talk. Suguru hadn’t said anything and Satoru had just wanted to hear his voice.
“Suguru, at least curse at me at the very end, come on.”
Suguru had chuckled at that.
“You haven’t changed at all, have you? Still a demanding brat, I see.”
And Satoru had chuckled at his reply, even though his eyes were tearing up.
“I didn’t want to kill you. I didn’t want to fight you…”
Suguru looked at him sadly, his hand reaching out for Satoru’s cheek. He had caressed it, surprised.
“Oh? Your Infinity still lets me through?”
“Of course, it does. How could it not? Suguru, I… I still trust you. I still love you. You’re still my best friend, my love.”
Suguru had smiled at that, before coughing some blood.
“I know you didn’t want to do any of this and I’m sorry. Satoru, love, I still love you too, alright? I always will. I’m sorry it all turned out like this.”
“Promise me, we’ll meet in another life.”
“I didn’t know you believed in second lives, Satoru.”
“Please, Suguru.”
“Fine, brat, I promise. We’ll meet again, alright? And in that life we would be normal students, we would just be Suguru and Satoru, two teenagers in love. How does that sound?”
“Sounds like a perfect life to me. I…”
Suguru had started struggling to breathe. And Satoru’s heart had been breaking.
“What is it, Satoru?”, had said Suguru in the lowest voice ever, struggling to speak.
“Can I… Can we kiss, for the last time, please?”
Suguru had smiled a bloody smile.
“It’ll taste like blood probably.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Then, come get your kiss, love.”
And Satoru hadn’t hesitated at all. He had pressed his lips softly against Suguru’s soft ones. And in that last kiss, Suguru Getou had exhaled his last breath.
When Satoru had broken apart from the kiss, silent tears had started falling. And he had just hugged Suguru’s body, crying all over his chest.
He hadn’t wanted to cremate his body, he had just wanted to bury him like normal people would do with their loved ones. He had just wanted a place where he could go speak to Suguru, as if he, from a few meters below him, could listen to him.
And, apparently, that had been a mistake. A big mistake he was regretting now, because some imposter was using his lover’s body.
Satoru snapped out of this walk down the memory lane. All alone and with shiny, red eyes, the strongest swore that he was going to end the imposter for using Suguru’s body. He was going to kill him.
But for that, he had to wait for his students to get him out. And, during that time, he hoped the loneliness wouldn’t bring back more memories. He wished to turn off his brain but, most of all, he wished to hold Suguru in his arms one more time.