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Lila Rossi was a total wildcard.
Kim loved it.
He loved his wife, loved all her changeable ways and unpredictable moods. She vacillated from dressing him down to telling him how to comb his hair to whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Kim couldn’t get a bead on her, ever, but navigating the minefield of Lila’s temperament was a challenge he couldn’t resist.
And then they started pranking each other.
After so long of being made Lila’s pranking victim, Kim had no idea who’d started the pranks. As he dodged yet another doorway covered in plastic wrap at head height, he busted up laughing. “That one’s old, dear.”
“Curses.” Lila stood in the kitchen to where Kim had been walking, chopping carrots for the night’s stir fry. It was her turn to cook, and that meal was the one sacred agreement between them: no one touches dinner.
Kim sidled into the room, giving her a wide berth. He never knew if she would choose to kiss him or choose to hip-check him into the fridge. He safely reached the box of Fudge Rounds, a chocolate-creme-filled cookie. Opening the box, which had been full that morning, he saw the word, “HAHAHAHAHAHA” written all along the inside.
Kim vowed then and there to set his phone alarm to go off at 32-minute intervals and hide his phone under the bed when Lila was trying to sleep.
That prank would go over well.
Lila smirked. “How did you enjoy your shower this morning?”
“The food coloring in the showerhead was a nice touch, yeah.” Kim nudged her with his shoulder. “How’d you like the plastic cockroaches on your pillow last night?”
Lila tossed her head, making her sausage hair bounce. “I was unphased.”
“Liar.” Kim grinned, unrepentant. “I heard you scream.”
“Oh, honey.” Lila sliced through a carrot. “You can’t ever make me scream and you know it.”
Kim felt a sulk coming on. “Low blow.”
Lila blew him a kiss. “Just getting you back for mowing the Batman logo into the front yard.”
“Hey, that was because of your chocolate-covered cheese balls!” Kim poked her in the side, making her shriek and bounce away from him. Kim advanced on her, and in the small kitchen, she had no hope of getting away. He seized her waist, tickling her mercilessly until she cried for clemency.
“Stop, stop,” she said, and Kim stopped immediately. “The cheese balls were revenge for the cream cheese deodorant and you know it.”
“You staged the broken car window.” Kim folded his arms, huffing. “That really freaked me out.”
“Who knew a rolled down window and some broken glass in the driveway would be such an easy score.”
“Score?” Kim perked up, raising his brows. “We’re keeping score?”
Lila gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look that Kim knew was anything but. “Aren’t we?”
“Who’s winning?”
“I am.”
“Bzzzzt!” Kim crossed his hands in front of his face. “No freaking way. You can’t be winning.”
She tapped his nose. “Why, Kim, don’t you trust me?”
“Not for a minute.” Kim nuzzled her cheek with his nose, but she snapped her teeth at him. He backed off. “You’re a compulsive liar. That’s what makes you such a good prankster.”
Lila’s lips turned down at the corners, and Kim knew he was in trouble. She could start lying to him again--and he was never very good at telling which words that came out of her mouth were truths--or she could yell at him, or she could cry.
He hoped she wouldn’t cry; that was his least favorite response of hers. She didn’t cry very often, but he wondered in a brief moment of panic if he’d struck a deep, hurtful nerve.
“Okay,” she said, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, “but you have to admit, the mannequin in our bed was genius.”
Relieved, Kim laughed.