Chapter Text
It’s not like Katsuki hated being a girl. It wasn’t that. Not at all.
It just really bothered her when people, especially guys, saw her as something to be protected, something fragile and sensitive. Another pretty girl that they could do whatever they wanted.
You see, Katsuki knew she was pretty. She was a carbon copy of her mother and the damn hag had been a damn model for decades, for fucks sake! So yeah, Katsuki knew she was pretty, but she really hated it sometimes. It was because she was pretty that guys would call her “princess”, “sweetheart” or “baby” (she actually broke the arm of the guy who called her “babygirl” that one time and the mere memory still gave her the chills); it was because she was pretty that they would look down on her, thinking that she wasn’t enough.
Just another pretty face who, according to many guys, would look better smiling.
So, ever since she was twelve, Katsuki covered herself as much as she could and would wear only sports bras that pressed down her breasts, making them look smaller; she absolutely refused to wear the girls uniform the entire time she was in middle school. Katsuki got really angry really fast, so she was also (for a lack of better word) a bully, biting the life of anyone that looked at her the wrong way.
And lastly: she hated Midoriya Izuku.
She knew that annoying skinny boy for, pretty much, her entire life and she hated him the most . He made her feel small and self conscious, and when she saw him smile she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her mom said she had a crush on him when she was fourteen and Katuski almost broke his nose the next day.
No, she did not like that green haired loser, absolutely not.
Her rage towards the dork only increased when they went to the same high school. Not just because the nerd still made her feel stupid but also because, in the last nine months of middle school the shitty nerd got… hot.
He wasn’t taller than her (thank God!) but he had gotten lean strong muscles that she knew weren’t there before. The baby fat in his face was replaced by a strong jaw and (argh!) dimples that, combined with the shinny green eyes and numerous freckles made Katsuki’s heart literally skip a beat.
It’s not like Katsuki’s own body hadn’t changed. Her intense training resulted in muscles of her own , giving her very impressive arms and strong legs; her hair was longer and looked almost like a blonde mane that was always kept in a ponytail, not to mention that her face was now exactly like her mother’s with sharp features and almost glowing blood red eyes.
She had also started to wear the girl’s uniform. Not because she wanted to, but because she didn’t want to make a bad impression on the school’s board. (She could still remember how her teachers would nag at her and how the only times she was called for the principal’s office wasn’t because of her behavior, but because of the damn uniform).
On their first day two major things happened: first was that shitty Mineta tried to flip up her skirt (she almost blew his hand clean off) and second, she sent Izuku to the hospital.
She didn’t feel bad about it in the fight itself, but the moment she saw him with both arms fucked up and the broken look in his face she knew. She knew she did something that she was going to regret for the rest of her life. And, of course, she refused to apologize.
Her stupid feelings only got more complicated with time. Katsuki’s blood would boil when she saw Round Cheeks being a little too friendly with Izuku or when she caught him talking to IcyHot, laughing at whatever the half and half bastard had said. She tried not to pay that much attention, tried to concentrate on her studies, on her training, on her so-called friends… Especially Kirishima.
They had things in common. They would train together and he would make her company at lunch. He would take her to hangouts with their other friends and made the effort to actually be her friend, not just an idiot that would blindly follow her (like her friends in middle school). When Katsuki thought about it, Kirishima was the only guy that talked to her and didn’t try to look at her breasts. She liked him and, eventually, ended up seeing him as her best friend.
It was honestly a sock when he kissed her.
His lips were a little chapped and his movements were stiff, as if he was nervous, but Katsuki kissed him back nonetheless. It wasn’t her first kiss (not by a long shot), and this one didn’t make her feel the famous butterflies (none of her previous kisses did), but Kirishima was comfortable and he made her feel good, so Katsuki kept kissing him.
They tried to date for a couple months and had a few makeout sessions in her room, she even let Kirishima touch her breasts one time. But... They were friends . Nothing more. It didn’t really matter how much they forced it, their feelings were never going to change. So, they kept being friends.
Katsuki didn’t regret her “romantic” time with Kirishima, since he still was her best friend. But on their last makeout session, when she saw Izuku standing on the end of the hallway, looking in their direction the moment Kirishima left her room, she felt... bad. And, instantly after, she was enraged.
After all, why was she supposed to feel bad?! Izuku didn’t own her (nobody did!), and she didn’t owe him a damn thing, much less an explanation! Why did he look so hurt and why the fuck she felt bad?
That whole situation was stupid and she hated everything about it.
It was on that night on Ground Beta that Katsuki learned a few things not only about herself, but about the nerd too.
He didn’t look down on her, he didn’t think less of her. He fought her with everything he had, not caring for the fact that she was a girl.
And he lost.
“You stupid Deku!” she growled, straddling his hip and legs. Her hold on his face got tighter as she felt tears burning on her eyes (she fucking refused to cry). “Why did you lose?! Weren’t you supposed to beat me?”
He was in pain and tired. He was panting and his chest was heavy, and yet… he looked at her with a look she had never seen before. Those green eyes that Katsuki hated so much were now full of light, full of wonder and full of something she didn’t know what it was, but still felt pulled to.
“Kacchan...” Her eyes were focused on his mouth and she felt herself leaning closer. “I-”
In that precise moment All Might made himself known and scared the crap out of them. As she jumped off Izuku, she felt (with horror) her cheeks burn with embarrassment and she refused to look at either of them in the eyes.
If she did, she would see Deku’s face was red as a tomato.
After that night Katsuki found out lots of things about One for All and about herself. Perhaps the most important was that she couldn’t be alone in the same room as Izuku without getting a heart attack. The shitty nerd would give her that look and Katsuki’s heart would just pound at her ribcage uncontrollably.
She would catch herself looking at the mirror, making sure that her hair looked okay and that her uniform was right. She would pull at her skirt with nervous hands and bite her lower lip like a shitty school girl (which she in fact was, but it wasn’t the point!). She caught herself actually growling when Round Cheeks jumped on Izuku’s back, squeezing her chest on the back of his neck and making him blush.
Nobody noticed, except for Kirishima. After almost an entire year together, he knew her like the back of his hand.
“You okay there, Bakubro?” he asked, laughing (the nerve!)
“I’m fine.”
She wasn’t. But Shitty Hair could fuck right off with the girl talk Katsuki knew they were about to have. Kirishima, of course, ignored her.
“You sure have been looking at Midoriya a lot,” he gave her an annoying knowing look, that only served to make her growl again.
“Shut up !”
“I’m just saying,” he replied, raising his hands in a surrender gesture. “You should talk to him.”
“Are you guys talking about Midoriya?” Mina asked, getting her pink face right in the middle of them. “He looks so cute today!”
Katsuki didn’t reply, because it was true. Apparently the nerd was having a good day and was smiling way more than usual, his cheeks had a pretty blush on them and it made Katsuki’s insides melt.
“You know he has a major crush on you, right?” she said, pulling Katsuki out her staring.
“Yeah, right,” she said with sarcasm, looking away with red all over face.
“I’m serious! Tell her, Kiri!”
“I tried,” he said, still holding his hands up. “She won’t listen.”
Katsuki couldn’t listen anymore, so with a grunt, she got up and walked away. They had a free period anyway, so she didn’t have to sit and listen to that bullshit, nor needed to look at Deku and his stupid atractive face! She knew the whole thing about him having a crush on her was bullshit because there was no way Deku, of all people, liked her. She had been so mean to him when they were little and made him cry way more times than she cared to remember.
And even if she hadn’t bullied him, why the fuck would Deku like her?! She was angry all the time, was rude and had a foul mouth. She had no patience and was more often than not growling and cursing at people. She wasn’t like Uraraka, with a soft appearance and cute laugh, Katsuki in fact avoided laughing at all costs.
She wasn’t… girly.
It took her a while, but her friends kept nagging her nonstop for weeks! But they finally convinced her to sit with them while they talked to Izuku.
Sure, it started as stupid chatting, making plans for the weekend and how their classes were going. Midoriya, the angel, would answer all their questions with a smile on his face, always eager to talk to his friends. But Kirishima, the fucking unsubtle elephant he was, had to open his stupid mouth:
“So, Midoriya,” he ignored the murderous look Katsuki sent him and continued: “It’s there someone you like?”
That simple question made Izuku blush and giggle in embarrassment, the sight was too much for Katsuki's little Grinch heart.
“”I suppose I do,” he trembled as he talked. “I have liked her for a very long time, actually.”
Katsuki was probably just seeing this, but she could swear that she caught the nerd looking right at her.
“Why don’t you talk to her?” Mina asked, ignoring Katsuki’s little crisis.
“I don’t know...” he answered, playing with his fingers. It was something he always did when he got nervous and Katsuki thought it was the cutest shit ever. “She never liked me that much.”
Katsuki, to her own horror, caught herself asking:
“And how the fuck do you know that?”
All of a sudden, as Katsuki and Izuku locked eyes, it felt like the rest of the room disappeared. Bright green eyes met crimson red and Katsuki felt her heart getting stuck in her throat. The way Izuku looked at her, as if she was the only thing worth to look at, made her realise two things: first is that she was hopelessly in love with that stupid idiot (probably have been for her entire life) and the second was that she couldn’t stay there anymore.
Everything was too much: the room was too hot, her breathing was too heavy, her eyes burned with upcoming tears and she couldn’t think.
She didn’t want to stay to listen to his answer and, without a word, she stood up and walked (ran) to her room. Vaguely she could listen to Kirishima’s voice, asking where she was going, but she didn’t turn back. She didn’t think she was able to talk because of how overwhelmed she was.
She locked herself in her room and did something Katsuki never did. She buried her face in her pillow and cried. She would have cried for hours if it wasn’t for the insistent knock on her door.
“Go away!”
She was honestly shocked when she heard the nerd’s voice.
“I just want to make sure you are okay.” She looked at the door, but didn’t move. “Please, Kacchan?”
She rubbed her eyes as she got out of bed. She didn’t want to move, and she really didn’t want to let him in, but Izuku’s voice sounded so worried and so genuine that she couldn’t find within her to send him away.
She compromised opening her door just a bit, getting enough space for them to look at each other.
“What do you want Deku?” her voice was a little hoarse from her crying, but she chose to ignore it.
“Are you okay?” he asked gently, sending her damn puppy eyes. “You looked pretty upset.”
“I’ll be fine...”
They stood there in a very awkward silence that became thicker by the second. That is, until Izuku finally asked:
“Why were you upset, Kacchan?”
“It’s none of your business.”
It was like a knee jerk reaction, since Katsuki didn’t like to talk about her feelings to anyone, especially the one person that made her feel things. But, for the first time in forever, Izuku didn’t back down and asked:
“Are you sure?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
All of Izuku’s confidence melted away as he tried to reply.
“I… I don’t know…” He looked away from her and scratched the back of his head, all the sudden he felt really uncomfortable. “I-I just had hoped that you liked me back…” Since he was still looking away, he didn’t notice the blush on her face. The rejection started to sink it’s cold claws on his chest and he needed to leave before he cried in front of her (again). “Sorry, Kacchan, I’ll leave you alo-”
“Wait!” she said, holding his arm in a strong grip.
She only noticed she did that when Izuku stopped moving and looked at her with shinny hopeful eyes. Her face was really red and she found it hard to talk: “You… you like me?”
“I have liked you since I was five, Kacchan.”
He said with no hesitation, his voice filled with certainty and his eyes sparkled. Katsuki’s face got redder.
“W-why?”
“Because you are amazing!” He smiled like it was the most obvious thing and began to scratch the back of his head again as he continued: “You push me to be better, to be someone worthy of you.”
Katsuki didn’t know what to say. There were so many things she wanted to ask, that she wanted to understand . But all her words died in her mouth as she looked at Izuku. He was embarrassed, but was also looking at her the exact same way he did on Ground Beta. Katsuki still didn’t know what that glint in his eyes was, but she wanted to find out.
“Go on a date with me,” she said, looking away.
Her cheeks and ears were annoyingly painted red and she couldn’t look at him as she waited for his response.
“Okay.”
It was such a small simple word, but it made Katsuki’s heart explode.
“Okay?” she asked, finally looking at him. She could hear the insecurity in her voice, but she really didn’t care, now at that moment at least.
“Yeah, I would love to go on a date with Kacchan.” His smile was so pure, Katsuki could feel her heart grow three times bigger. “How about friday? We can go to this place that sells homemade ice cream, I promise it’s really good.”
It was her turn to say:
“Okay.”
And she did it with a stupid little smile that she would forever deny making, but was (apparantly) extremily eficient to turn Deku into a blushing rambling mess.
“Okay! It didn’t think I would ever go on a date with Kacchan, since Kacchan is so amazing and p-pretty, but now I am, so I need to work hard to make this date a good date and, who knows, maybe we can go on other dates after-”
“Calm down, Deku,” she said, feeling kinda giggling herself. “Let’s go on this one before we decide anything, okay?”
“Right! Sorry!” his face got really red. “I guess I’ll go now.”
Katsuki decided that red looked really good on Deku, so she smiled again just to make him blush even more. Izuku walked away, giving her a small wave, face completely red.
Katsuki closed her door and leaned her back into it, slippering slowly to the ground. She covered her mouth as she giggled, it sounded strange in her ears, but she couldn’t deny how happy she was feeling at that precise moment.
“Holy shit,” she whispered, still not believing what had happened.
She was going on a date with Deku!
----
When friday finally came, Katsuki thought she was in her personal hell. She still didn’t know how, but Mina convinced her about doing Katsuki’s hair and makeup. And if that wasn’t enough, Mina came with the rest of their squad. The boys looked around in her closet, trying to find (by their words) the perfect outfit.
When Katsuki turned her head to check on them, she laughed so hard she almost passed out: all the boys were wearing her clothes and arguing which one looked the cutest. It was so random and ridiculous, she couldn’t find in herself the strength to be mad.
In the end Mina managed to slap some lip gloss on Katsuki’s mouth and a fucking pink bow on top on her ponytail when she wasn’t looking. That combined with the outfit the boys chose for her (white sandal and a cute light pink dress Katsuki didn’t even know she owned) Katsuki felt like a doll. A very pretty doll, but still…
She never wore anything like that and she felt a little self conscious.
“What’s wrong?” Mina asked she noticed Katsuki pulling at the hem of her sueter.
“I don’t feel like myself...”
“We can pick something else,” Mina said, pulling Katsuki back to the mirror. “What is bothering you?”
“Everything,” Katsuki replied, trying her best to not look at her reflection. “You damn extras made me look so girly .”
“I liked it...” Kaminari said, still twirling in a white skirt Katsuki had never worn.
“But it’s not your date, is it?” Kirishima said, looking incredibly serious for someone who was wearing that amount of tulle.
It took a couple more tries, but finally they managed to dress Katsuki in an outfit she didn’t hate. It was an orange oversized sweater combined with black jean short shorts and black boots, there was no bow in her hair and the makeup was natural, no lip gloss on site.
And it was all so worth it when Deku’s face instantly turned bright red as he saw her.
“Good luck, Bakubro,” Kirishima whispered, giving her a pat on the back.
She looked at him to see the stupid thumbs up he and the rest of the squad were giving her. They were all idiots, she was sure of it, but they were her idiots. She gave them a small smile before turning back to the stupid cute boy that was Deku.
“Hi Kacchan!” Deku said when she got close enough. He was scratching the back of his head and still had this adorable blush on his face.
For Katsuki (who spent at least two hours being experimented on) the Hi, Kaccha wasn’t enough.
“That’s all you got to say to me, shirty Deku? Those extras put me in fucking heels!” She said raising her leg effortlessly so her high heel boot almost smacked the nerd in the face.
For some reason she didn’t know, the action made the nerd blush harder.
“It’s not that you don’t look good!” He quickly said, raising his hands. “It’s just that I know Kacchan doesn’t like being called pretty.”
Katsuki lowered her leg and looked away. Izuku was right, she hated when people pointed out her looks. But...
“I don’t mind when it’s you who says it.”
She was not looking at him for this, absolutely not. She was already feeling ridiculous and looking at that cute face was not going to make her embarrassment go away.
“In that case,” Izuku said, leaning into her space. He had on his face a smile so bright, it was almost blindly. “You look very pretty, Kacchan.”
If Katsuki had paid attention to her surroundings, she would have heard her friends squealing in the back and would probably kill them for spying. But Katsuki wasn’t paying attention, not really; she was getting lost in green eyes and trying to ignore how loud her heartbeat was.
Deku (bless his precious heart) leaned back, giving Katsuki room for breathe, and pointed to the door.
“Ready to go?”
“Yeah.” Without thinking about it, Katsuki grabbed his hand and pulled him forward. “Where are we going again?”
She stomped to the door, pulling the nerd with her. They were almost out the school’s grounds when she felt the nerd trip behind her and almost fall.
“Slow down, Kacchan,” Izuku said pulling and making her stop.
Katsuki finally looked back at him and, as soon as she noticed they were holding hands, she almost had a heart attack for the hundredth time ever since that whole situation had started. She honestly didn’t know what to say or do, should she let go of his hand? Was he upset at her? Did she ruin it already?!
It was almost like he could read her mind because, as Katsuki was having a mini panic attack, he just intertwined their fingers together and squeezed them.
“I really think you are going to like this ice cream place,” he said, setting a slower pace in their walk which allowed them to walk side by side. “The cinnamon one is one of my favorites!”
“I like cinnamon,” she commented, still trying to get over the fact that they were holding hands.
They chatted the whole way to the ice cream place about school and Katsuki trauma in the hands of her friends. Izuku laughed as he heard the tale of Kirishima and Sero fighting over the same pair of stockings and how Mina had to nerve to put pink on her hair.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in pink,” Izuku said, still laughing.
“You did!” Katsuki replied, nudding his shoulder. “The hag made me wear it on your sixth birthday party.”
“Oh yeah,” he said, giving her a big nostalgic smile. “You looked pretty!”
“Shut up,” she looked away, already feeling the burning on her ears.
“But I thought you said you liked it when I called you pretty...”
He was teasing her, she could tell by the grin on his face, so instead of replying she just shoved him to the side and kept walking. Izuku laughed again and leaned closer to her, their hands gently swaying between them.
The ice cream place was a little shot in front of a park, with white tables on the outside and sofas on the inside. It had a cozy atmosphere and it wasn’t full of people, just a couple of families enjoying their time together. And Izuku was right: the cinnamon ice cream was really good.
“Wanna walk in the park?” Izuku asked, offering his hand.
Katsuki soon found out that she really liked holding Deku’s hand. It was bigger compared to hers and the scars invited her fingers to touch and explore. When Katsuki noticed she was making little circles on his palms she didn’t have time to be embarrassed, because the nerd was blushing like crazy and not looking at her.
That was seriously a huge boost to her confidence, because she wasn’t the only one that was affected by this thing they had.
“Look, Kacchan,” he called, pointing up.
Katsuki looked to where he was pointing and saw what looked like hundreds of kites coloring the sky.
“Remember the kite festival?” he asked with a smile.
“Yeah, my dad would spend weeks on his,” she said, smiling at the memory. “Just to crash it in the first five minutes.”
“I remember! Uncle always had the best ideas for kites!”
They stood in silence for a moment, just looking at the kites. Katsuki was so relaxed that she almost jumped when Deku opened his mouth again.
“My dad once promised me we would have our own kite… not a store bought one. A genuine Midoriya kite.” his smile turned sad. “Of course that never happened.”
Katsuki looked at the boy beside her and felt her heart break a little. Izuku was so precious, so pure… why did people feel the right to hurt him so much? Instantly she felt guilty. Wasn’t she the one who hurted him the most? Who enjoyed hurting him? Hell, she laughed every time he cried!
She didn’t deserve him.
But she still held his hand, and she was not letting it go. She wasn’t letting him go.
“I’m sorry, Izuku,” she said in a hushed tone.
“It wasn’t your fau-”
“I don’t mean the kite thing,” she said, looking at his eyes. “I wasn’t good to you and I made you cry more times than I can count. I was a bitch, so… I’m sorry... I really am.”
Izuku honestly didn’t remember the last time Katsuki apologized for anything. He did remember that one time when her mother pulled her by the ear to another little girl; he didn’t remember why they fought, but he still could see the image of the little girl’s tooth falling right out her mouth. Katsuki kicked the other girl and her mother’s leg right before running away, screaming that she would never apologise.
And there she was apologizing... And he knew she meant it.
“Kacchan…” he said before covering his face.
Not only was he blushing like crazy, he was also crying.
“Stop crying, you shitty nerd!”
It took Izuku a few moments, but he managed to stop crying. Katsuki looked worried, biting her lower lip and looking at him as if was going to fall apart at any second.
“Thank you, Kacchan,” he finally said. His eyes were still wet and were now a million times brighter.
“Don’t mention it, nerd,” she replied, barely hearing her own words (her heart was beating just so fucking loud!), but she continued: “I’ll try my best to make you smile instead of crying, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, pulling her to a hug.
Katsuki was caught off guard, but (as soon as she got her groundings) she fisted the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer.
She really could get used to being this close to the nerd.