Chapter Text
In their youth, the Tsukishima children had always been obsessed with volleyball. If you asked their mother, Yua, she would quickly recount stories of her two children and their frequent volleyball related activities in the backyard. Chuckling as she tells stories of broken windows and grass-stained pants.
Akiteru being named captain and ace of his middle school team brought further ambition between the two siblings, as well as Yua’s pride. She watched fondly as her two children grew older, and close with each other. Kei, her youngest, continuing to eagerly follow in their older brothers’ footsteps.
Kei was always a bit of an enigma to her. While Akiteru seemed to naturally establish his presence, Kei seemed to approach situations through the copying of their older brother. Akiteru’s treatment of Kei was fatherly, seemingly filling the hole that the previous Tsukishima had left in his departure. While their father had been present for the first 5 years of Akiteru’s life, he had removed himself from the family shortly after Kei’s birth. Yua’s struggle with single parenthood placed pressure on Akiteru to step up into the position of the male head of the family and therefore his relationship with Kei was one of deep responsibility.
Akiteru’s commencement at Karasuno brought with it new excitement within the family. He had high ambitions of bringing the schools team to nationals, with himself continuing his action as ace. Yua watched him further commit himself to a sport he loved, and she took it upon herself to support him in his endeavour. His first year was filled with late practices and additional bento, much to Yua’s amusement. During this time, Kei remained ever insistent to hear about their brothers’ achievements, and with it Akiteru’s stories continued to light a fire within Kei.
It was in Akiteru’s second year that Yua noticed a shift within her children. Her oldest seemed to be avoiding Kei’s requests to watch one of Karasuno’s matches. Nervousness was the reason, although Akiteru was never one to get nervous. She had spoken to Akiteru’s coach the season prior. She knew he hadn’t been playing but understood the importance of Kei’s unwavering belief of their idol.
It was during this time that Kei also was beginning to change within themselves. The introduction of Yamaguchi to the household was a breath of fresh air for both Yua and Akiteru. Kei’s first proper friend. When asked how they had met, Yamaguchi quickly began a story surrounding bullies, however Kei’s quickly interrupted, stating volleyball as the main reason. Yua could tell Akiteru was relieved to hear this, most likely hoping that this new friendship would allow him to remove himself from being the significant idol surrounding volleyball and offer him to opportunity to tell Kei the truth.
But with Yamaguchi came more lies. Yamaguchi became someone for Kei to share his idolisation of their brother with. Yua watched as Akiteru continued to lie to Kei about his volleyball and watched as Kei and Yamaguchi became more and more impressed.
It was Akiteru’s last high school match that his plan came crumbling down. Yua watched as Akiteru’s mental walls broke down. Watched as Kei watched their idol lose himself in disgrace over his younger sibling viewing him as who he truely is. Watched as Kei seemed to lose trust in the person they trusted the most.
Akiteru left that night. Yua expected that he went to a friend’s house, in search of an escape from his own disappointment. She cleaned up the mess he left behind. His torn posters. Knocked volleyball trophies. Karasuno jacket left forgotten, scrunched on the ground.
Akiteru was gone for 3 days. For those 3 days Kei didn’t say a word.
The return of Akiteru to the household brought further silence. Yamaguchi visited frequently, concerned over his friends wellbeing. Yua often walked past Kei’s bedroom door, left ajar, only to see Yamaguchi sitting on the floor. He was often taking quietly to a shaking figure, still buried under blankets within their bed. Later on, Yamaguchi began to bring bags with him, filled with unknown things. When questioned about it, Yamaguchi mentioned bringing snacks for Tsukki. The nickname seemed new, confusing Yua, as him and Kei had been on first name basis for a while now. Nonetheless, Yua nodded, understandingly, and watched as Yamaguchi made his way to Kei’s room. The sound of clinking metal as he turned the corner caught Yua’s attention, however, she trusted Yamaguchi enough that she knew the likelihood of him bringing alcohol to a fellow middle schooler was highly unlikely.
It was after those couple days of visits that Kei began to interact with Yua again. Both them and Akiteru continued to avoid each other, so she found herself having meals individually with each of them, found herself pretending her family wasn’t splitting apart all over again.
It was her first breakfast with Kei that she noticed it. The chipped nail polish on Kei’s fingers. Poorly applied, but there, nonetheless. She mentioned it, only for Kei to become flustered and state that Yamaguchi was just using them as practice for his mother. She reduced the glass sounds from prior to being that of nail polish bottles, and found herself filled with warmth at the fact that her child was allowing their friend to practice something on them with such good intentions. She quickly grew fond of seeing new colours frequently on their nails, and noted Yamaguchi’s quick improvement, offering to take them both out shopping for new nail polish to experiment with.
Her youngest’s excitement didn’t escape her view, as they carefully compared polish colours, before holding them over their nails, as if considering how they would look on. She also pretended not to hear Yamaguchi’s excited statement that the colour they had chosen would look great on Kei.
While at the counter paying, she asked Yamaguchi about his progress in painting his mother’s nails, the boy looked confused, before quickly recovering and stating that he had been getting a lot better. He turned to Kei and smiled at them, while Yua noticed the small smile on their face. One of the first proper smiles she had seen since Akiteru’s match.
Whether or not Yamaguchi truely was practicing for his mother was on Yua’s mind, however she dismissed it. Her child beginning to understand themselves and practice self-expression was more important to her, and she promised herself that she would always support Kei with their journey of discovering themselves, regardless of social constructs. Anyway, Kei suited painted nails.
Slowly, the collection of nail related products increased within the house. Once the two middle schoolers realised Yua’s acceptance, Yamaguchi stopped moving the products back and forth between the houses. It was through a discussion with Yamaguchi’s mother, Akari, that Yua found out that Yamaguchi had bought the polish himself with his pocket money. The thought of Kei having such a friend warmed Yua’s heart, and she made sure to thank him through smiles and offering him left over food when he would come over after both families had finished dinner. On Friday, these leftovers involved fries and burgers, and she watched as the boy quickly became obsessed with the excess soggy fries, much to Kei’s disgust.
Akiteru’s move to Tokyo for university was sad for Yua, and she could tell that Kei was affected. Even if they pretended they weren’t. The two siblings were yet to hold a conversation since the incident, and it hurt Yua to see her eldest leave the household without even a hug goodbye. Yamaguchi seemed to also sense this and became even more frequent of a guest within the household, to the point that she began to consider him one of her own children. Akari seemed to share that sentiment, and often offered to have Kei over, with them always going between the two houses.
During this time without their brother, Kei was forced to confront challenges and decisions without that past unwavering guidance. It was a couple months into their second year of middle school that Kei refused to have their hair cut. It had begun to reach their shoulders and Yua had expressed her plans of booking an appointment to have it cut. Kei had gone quiet, and Yua had turned, only to see them staring at their feet, as if hesitant to say anything. Yua gestured to the couch, in which they both sat. She shared concern over Kei and asked whether they were being bullied or felt insecure about something that they were hiding with hair. Kei had looked up at her, before quietly murmuring that they liked their hair long. So, no hair appointment was booked.
By the end of the school year, their hair was long enough to be tied back with hair ties. Little ones with dinosaurs. Kei really liked those.
During the break between second and third year, Kei had become more confident within themselves. They, along with Yamaguchi, asked the two mothers for help with makeup. Their two mothers would sit and take turns applying the makeup to each of their faces. They would then make and eat lunch as a group. While Yamaguchi would scoff down food, Kei would slowly eat, trying to avoid messing up their makeup. The two mothers would often catch them staring at themselves in the mirror, a small smile on their face. When Yamaguchi went to the bathroom to wash off his face, Akari offered Kei to try on one of her old dresses. Kei seemed hesitant, looking at their own mother for confirmation. Yua smiled, nodding kindly at them, as Akari lead Kei to her bedroom. She watched as Kei went through her collection of dresses and watched their face fill with awe. They seemed especially in awe at a blousy white dress, one that she had bought due to its looseness for summer months.
Yua was finishing her lunch when she saw Akari re-enter the room, no Kei in sight. Yua questioned her about this, before Akari shushed her, as the sound of quiet footsteps grew louder as they continued down the hallway. Yua looked up. She saw Kei, standing in the hallway. They were dressed in a loose white dress, ending slightly above the knee. Their hair had been left down, laying in light curls on their shoulders. Their makeup shined in the hallway lighting. The gold eyeshadow complementing the white of the dress perfectly. Her favourite part, however, was the look on her child’s face. Kei was smiling. Not a small smile, but a large smile. The kind of smile he used to do when Akiteru would tell him about volleyball. The kind of smile that he gave when he was truely happy.
She knew Yamaguchi had entered the room when she heard a gasp. She turned, and saw Yamaguchi standing in the adjacent doorway, mascara still rimming his eyes after his poor attempt at washing his face. He was smiling, she noted, his eyes shone with happy tears as he walked over to his friend. He asked them to give a spin, and Kei lightly spun around, small giggles leaving their mouth. Yamaguchi giggled too, before grabbing Kei’s hands, telling them how beautiful she looks.
Kei’s eyes widened, turning towards Yua, a look of fear flashing across their face. Yamaguchi realised that he said, quickly turning as if to apologise, only for Yua to stand up.
She walked over to Kei, before engulfing them in a hug, feeling them begin to cry in relief as Yua whispered how truly beautiful they looked. She looked. Kei cried harder at that, and Yua heard Yamaguchi start crying too, however she was more focused on Kei, watching as they muttered words of gratitude, whether to Yamaguchi, Akari or herself, she did not know.
Kei came out as trans that night. With it the request to be referred to as Hotaru. Yua, remembering Yamaguchi’s use of Tsukki in the past, asked if this was why he had changed from referring to her as her deadname. Yamaguchi seemed surprised by this, before nodding and stating his refusal to use Hotaru’s deadname. Yua nodded to herself, watching as her daughter sat idly on the couch, still wearing the dress with lines on her cheeks where the mascara had run when she was crying. Even with this, Yua doesn’t think she has ever seen her daughter look so comfortable in her own skin. She pledged to herself that she would make sure her daughter never had to feel so uncomfortable within themselves again.
After a long discussion with Hotaru, they began booking appointments involved with the process of starting medical transitions, as well as much needed shopping trips. Yamaguchi came along of course, although shopping for bras made him flustered, much to the amusement of Hotaru.
It was during school break that Akiteru saw Hotaru as herself for the first time. By this stage, Hotaru’s closet had expanded greatly, so she was wearing one of her new outfits, a pretty skirt paired with a loose shirt and low heels. She had expressed her discomfort with heels previously, after worries of her height making her less feminine, however Akari had quickly removed this doubt, showing her videos of models and athletes, many of which taller than Hotaru. This helped, and Hotaru found comfort in the slight heel of her shoes.
Akiteru’s reaction was one of great euphoria for Hotaru. He walked into the house tiredly, allowing Yua to grab his bags from him before he fell gracefully onto the couch. A couch opposite the one Yamaguchi and Hotaru were sitting on. Hotaru giggled, hiding her face in her palms as Akiteru looked up with half-riddled eyes at the two of them. Yamaguchi grabbed Hotaru’s hand, worried that she would be too anxious to introduce herself to her brother. Akiteru, half asleep, muttered under his breath about Yamaguchi having a pretty girlfriend, before turning over and beginning to snore.
Yamaguchi turned, looking into Hotaru’s eyes, a light smile on his face. She seemed in shock, before laughing harder. She couldn’t believe Akiteru thought that she was dating Yamaguchi. Soon, Yamaguchi started laughing also, the relief pouring out of him. He knew how worried Hotaru was about Akiteru’s reaction, and that his reaction was definitely euphoric for the girl. At the sound of laughter, Yua returned to the living room, eying the two teens carefully before walking over to sit on the couch, tired after lugging Akiteru’s luggage to his room. After an explanation of what happened by Yamaguchi, Yua was lightly laughing also, running her hands through Akiteru’s dirty blond hair with affection.
The remainder of the trip was filled with similar experiences. Akiteru seemed overly supportive of his little sister, and Yua noted that this change had offered both siblings and opportunity for a fresh start, as their relationship began to slowly repair itself as the week went on. Akiteru, being older, seemed extra protective of his younger sister, much to Hotaru’s annoyance. A cashier misgendered Hotaru when grocery shopping, and before Yua was even able to say anything, Akiteru was automatically forcing a correction, tone harsher than normal. As much as Hotaru pretended to be embarrassed, Yua could tell that Akiteru’s actions were well appreciated by Hotaru, especially when she allowed him to give her a hug when leaving the shop.
After the two weeks concluded, they walked with Akiteru to the station and waited with him for his train. As the minutes passed, Akiteru pulled Hotaru into a deeper hug, before making her promise to call her whenever anyone does or says anything to her that upsets her. She pushed him off rolling her eyes, before looking down at her feet and agreeing. His train pulled up at the station, Yua hugged him, and then the last thing he saw as he began moving was Hotaru, tears pooling in her eyes as she waved at him through the train window.
The next week, Hotaru started her hormone replacement therapy.
In their final year of middle school, Hotaru requested that she remain identifiable as a male within a school environment. Yua, concerned, asked whether it was because she felt she would be unaccepted by her teachers or fellow students. She already knew that being transgender within a school environment would be difficult for Hotaru, but she had also witnessed the dysphoria that Hotaru had experienced before transitioning, as well as her clear disconnect from her male cohort, other than Yamaguchi of course. She waited for Hotaru’s response, who was staring at her own feet, shiny gold polish coating her toenails. Her personal colour of bravery. Silently, Hotaru pointed at the wall adjacent them. Yua looked up, finding herself looking at the family’s award shelf. Mostly filled with their volleyball awards.
Volleyball. Of course, how could she forget. As accepting herself and the Yamaguchi’s were, the greater public were less likely to accept her daughters identity, especially within the area of sports. It wasn’t illegal, but it was unlikely she would be accepted onto any girls’ team. Volleyball had been a big part of Hotaru’s life and remains the main connection between her and Akiteru. She was unlikely to be able to play within school if she identified as a female within school.
She looked back at Hotaru, noticing her eyes shining with tears. She was conflicted. Of course. Leaving volleyball would also mean leaving Yamaguchi, in which they had planned to continue playing volleyball together. She knew, of course, Yamaguchi would be more than supportive, however Hotaru clearly was not ready to leave the sport just yet.
One more year, she told Yua. She just wants one more year. And with it came her final year of middle school. Her final year of playing volleyball.
And before she knew it, her and Yamaguchi were walking through the gates of Karasuno. A fresh start, she told herself, as she took her first step into school, her skirt lightly moving in the wind.