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“We’re not in love, we just hang out high as kites
We’re not in love, we’re just halfway out of our mind
When we hang out high as kites
We’re not in love, we’re just high”
//
Minho never really meant to find out about Hyunjin’s little... late-night secret.
It was pure happenstance, truly. Minho had run out of his favorite chamomile tea, ‘borrowed’ a different kind of tea from Jeongin, and, after drinking a large mug of it just before bedtime, realized that it was, in fact, very heavily caffeinated. After an hour or so of tossing and turning in bed, he’d retreated into the living room, hoping some late-night infomercials might bore him to sleep.
If he’d happened to glance at the empty bunk on the other side of their dorm room, he might not have been so surprised when Hyunjin tiptoed back into the dorm, a strong scent of smoke still clinging to his clothes, startling at the sight of Minho’s silhouette on the couch illuminated by the bluish light of the TV screen.
As startled as Minho was by their front door suddenly opening at such an early hour of the morning, poor Hyunjin was absolutely horrified, his red-rimmed eyes nearly bugging right out of his head, quietly uttering the word ‘please’ on repeat. Since he never actually verbalized an actual request to go along with his pleading, Minho’s still not sure what Hyunjin actually expected him to do to him. Even assuming Minho would deeply disapprove of what he’s just discovered, Hyunjin must have known his roommate would never go so far as to tattle on him to the company or anything. Minho’s fiercely protective of him, of all of them, and deep down in his heart, Hyunjin must know that to be true. Minho would sooner take the fall for a bad situation himself before he ever let any of his members get in trouble.
Regardless of the reaction Hyunjin had anticipated, he’s visibly shocked when Minho merely gives him a knowing grin, informing him, “A good dongsaeng should share such things with his hyung.” Then, seeing that Hyunjin was still too slack-jawed and stunned to speak, Minho had added, “Invite me along next time, okay?”
Later, when Minho had pressed him for details, Hyunjin had admitted that he’d been lighting one up semi-nightly on the roof of their company-owned dorm building for months now. Sighing that Hyunjin is really too bold for his own good sometimes, Minho lightly lectured him over his choice in location, insisting it was far too risky, and led him to a parking garage a few blocks away to smoke together the next night.
Ever since then, it’s become something of a routine for them, waiting until the wee hours of the morning before sneaking out together. Sure, it’s a pain in the ass to walk there in winter, dragging heavy boots through unshoveled snow with the icy wind burning their faces, but it still beats having to worry about being caught by someone from their company.
Tonight, though, it’s the middle of summer, and the stifling heat and humidity that’s kept them hiding in their air-conditioned dorm room all day has finally dissipated into a pleasant, soothing warmth now that the sun’s long since gone down. The hum of cicadas and the flickering light of streetlamps guide them through the secluded street, so barren and empty in comparison to the ever-busy atmosphere of Seoul during the daytime.
They’re not fully alone out here, not quite. There’s still some traffic on the street, cars driving past them, but there’s a feeling of solitude in the air that makes it feel like they truly must be the only ones awake at this hour. The passing cars don’t really register as being driven by actual people, they don’t even seem quite real, serving only as background sound effects that add to the feeling of late-night isolation.
“We should get some snacks on the way back,” Hyunjin says, gesturing at the neon-lit sign of a nearby convenience store with the floppy sleeve of an oversized hoodie. “Then we could play a game or watch a movie or something, what do you think?”
“Sure,” Minho agrees, knowing full well Hyunjin’s most likely going to smoke himself to sleep again anyway. Almost every time they smoke together, they end up walking home with Hyunjin drowsily leaning on Minho’s shoulder for support the whole way back, then collapsing into his bed the first chance he gets, asleep before his head even hits the pillow. If he somehow does stay awake tonight, though, it does sound like a nice way to spend the rest of the morning, playing games together while they watch the sun come up. Weed always makes Minho extra agreeable - and if that explanation doesn’t actually make any sense right now, seeing as he hasn’t actually smoked yet, well, that’s nobody’s business but his own.
The parking garage does technically have an elevator, but it’s incredibly old and slow, and tends to make these loud and vaguely unsettling clanging noises that make Hyunjin yelp like a startled puppy and cling to Minho’s arm every time it happens. These days, they usually just take the stairs, even though it leaves them incredibly winded by the time they get to the top floor. Hyunjin ends up doubling over to rest his hands on his knees while he pants his way back to a resting heart rate while Minho, who’s just as out of breath but much less willing to outwardly show it, pats Hyunjin on the back sympathetically.
This garage is owned by a nearby office building, so the top floor is always empty at this time of night. It’s 4:00 in the morning on a Saturday, even the biggest workaholics in the city have long since gone home by now. Still, their favorite bench has always been the one on the furthest side of the parking lot, as far away from the stairwell and elevators as possible, giving them plenty of time to hide what they’ve been doing before having to worry about being approached. It’s not actually illegal to smoke weed anymore, hasn’t been for years, but being idols, they’re not even supposed to be caught drinking too heavily in public, let alone smoking weed at 4am on top of a random parking structure.
“You did remember to bring a lighter this time, right, Hyunjinnie?” Minho asks as Hyunjin approaches. He’d only ever forgotten it once, and it was months ago at that, but Minho still can’t resist the urge to poke a bit of fun at him about it. It had been a reasonably easy fix, just going over to that convenience store Hyunjin had pointed out earlier to buy a new one, but Hyunjin’s ears had turned bright red, somehow convinced the cashier had known exactly what they needed the lighter for despite Minho assuring him otherwise. It was deeply endearing, really - not that Minho would ever tell him as much.
With a good-natured eyeroll and a playful grin, Hyunjin frees the cheap plastic lighter from his pocket and tosses it over to him, “Yeah, it’s right here, catch.”
Hyunjin sits down beside him, leaving a bit of space. They bring a small blanket with them sometimes, when it’s too cold to be sitting on a concrete bench on the top floor of a parking garage for more than a minute or two. Even though it’s far too warm for it today, Minho sort of misses the closeness and comfort of huddling up underneath the blanket together. It’s okay, though - smoking makes the already incredibly tactile Hyunjin even cuddlier, he’s sure to have Hyunjin cuddled up close to him soon. He just has to wait.
Reaching back into his hoodie pocket, Hyunjin takes out a small plastic baggie, opening it up and holding a tightly-rolled joint up to his nose. He inhales deeply and then lets out a world-weary sigh.
“I really needed this today,” he says, and says it with such vigor and authenticity that Minho almost forgets that they’ve spent a fairly stress-free day off, just playing video games with Changbin and watching YouTube compilations in Felix’s bed.
Slipping the filter between his lips, he glances over at Minho out of the corner of his eye and wordlessly beckons for the lighter. Minho’s tempted to tease him by refusing to hand it over for a bit, to point out that Hyunjin’s the one who gave it to him so casually mere seconds ago, but as much as he’d been internally teasing Hyunjin for claiming he ‘really needed this’, he’s jonesing just as bad as Hyunjin is, so he just hands it over.
The glowing cherry casts dramatic shadows across Hyunjin’s high cheekbones and full lips as blue-grey smoke billows around his face, and Minho can’t help but stare a little. He’d never say as much, it’s not really on-brand for him, but he’s secretly very pleased that he’s the only one to see Jinnie like this. He’s convinced that this, right here, is Hyunjin’s very best look, with the soft white of the parking garage streetlights competing with the flame-warm orange to contour his features, his eyes half-lidded and expression peaceful as he breathes in the soothing smoke.
Hyunjin catches him looking at him, but just rolls his eyes, misunderstanding his gaze, “Aigoo, stare a hole through me, why don’t you? Here,” he passes the joint over to him, “Go ahead and take a turn if you need it so badly.”
“Mmm, thanks,” he murmurs, taking it from him and inhaling deeply. In almost any other context, Minho would probably have had a better retort, but he’s eager enough to fill his lungs with smoke and grateful enough to not have been caught checking out his roommate that he leaves it at that. He’s at least hoping to catch Hyunjin staring at him, too, but no such luck - the moment he’s no longer got a lit joint in his hand, Hyunjin’s fumbling in the pocket of his baggy sweatpants, fishing out his phone and scrolling through it.
Music starts playing from Hyunjin’s phone speakers, some slow, sensual song with English lyrics and a thrumming baseline. Before Hyunjin can tuck his phone back into his pocket, Minho catches his wrist and glances down at the screen, immediately scoffing when he sees what’s displayed on it, “Hwang Hyunjin, did you really just put on a playlist called ‘Make-Out Jams’? Is that some poor attempt at subtle flirting?”
A pink tint blooms across Hyunjin’s cheeks, “Oh, is that what it says? I didn’t realize.”
“Come on, really?” Minho snorts. “You’d rather pretend you don’t speak English than admit you want to kiss me?”
“I really don’t!” Hyunjin cries, and Minho’s maybe a little bit offended by how quickly and adamantly he says that until Hyunjin continues, “Not fluently, at least! And it’s a really good playlist, okay? It’s got really chill vibes, I thought it would fit the mood.”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll give you that,” Minho agrees, taking a long, slow drag before passing it back to Hyunjin, letting the smoke easily escape his lips as he keeps speaking, “That the playlist is nice, I mean. But your English is getting really good, actually. Pretty soon you’ll be able to help Channie-hyung translate for the rest of us in interviews and stuff, if you keep practicing like you have been.”
“Thanks, hyung,” Hyunjin ducks his head shyly, the way he always does when he gets a compliment, and focuses on bringing the joint to his lips and inhaling to keep from blushing any darker. Learning from his past mistakes, Minho averts his eyes this time, staring out at the city skyline instead of admiring the equally picturesque view sitting right beside him.
Just as expected, Hyunjin’s head comes to rest on his shoulder, only a short while into smoking together. Minho wraps an arm around him - it’s just more comfortable than having his arm pinned between Hyunjin’s body and his own, or at least that’s what he’d claim if anyone asked. And as for the slow circles he’s tracing onto Hyunjin’s shoulder with his thumb, well, Hyunjin’s hoodie is really soft, and the weed Hyunjin’s brought with him tonight is pretty strong. Minho’s just not thinking straight, okay?
He steals the joint from Hyunjin’s lips and slips it between his own, leaning his cheek against Hyunjin’s soft hair as he takes a few short puffs. The smell of Hyunjin’s floral-musky shampoo filling his nose combined with the sweet-skunky taste of weed on his tongue is truly intoxicating, and he’d blame that for what comes out of his mouth next, “We’re sort of already kissing, if you think about it.”
Hyunjin sits up so fast, Minho’s surprised his head didn’t collide with Minho’s chin. “What? No, we’re not!” he cries. “I’m not that high. If we were kissing, I’m pretty sure I’d have noticed.”
“No, I just mean…” he takes the joint from his own mouth and presses it to Hyunjin’s, “Like that. Indirectly, you know?”
“Oh my god,” Hyunjin murmurs, but he keeps the joint in his mouth anyway. “You must be watching too much anime or something. No one cares about indirect kisses in real life. It’s not a real thing.”
“Feels real enough to me,” Minho insists, licking his lips. “I can even tell you were eating something sweet and fruity before we left the dorms, that’s pretty intimate.”
“Hyung!" Hyunjin cries, ducking his head with a blush, but he’s giggling. “I may have stolen some of Lix’s strawberry-vanilla gummies on my way out of his room. They’re really good.”
“Mmm, yeah,” Minho agrees, licking his lips again, slower and more deliberately this time. “Strawberry and vanilla, that’s exactly it. It tastes nice.”
“Tastes nice, huh? You wanna taste it more directly?” Hyunjin asks, his voice suddenly all throaty and low, and Minho’s heart skips a beat until Hyunjin reaches into his hoodie pocket and pulls out a pink and white gummy candy wrapped in clear cellophane. The grin on his face makes it very clear that Hyunjin chose his words to be deliberately misleading - he smirks, asking, “Why do you look so surprised, hmm? What did you think I meant?”
“Shut your mouth,” Minho murmurs, but he can’t help but grin, accepting the candy and tucking it into his pocket for later. “You know exactly what you’re doing, you always do.”
Hyunjin’s all giggly now, at least partially from the weed, but not entirely. “Aww, did Minho think he was getting a kiss?”
“Don’t speak so informally,” Minho chastises him, the blush burning his ears now creeping into his cheeks.
“Oh, I’m so very sorry,” Hyunjin replies, without a hint of remorse, then scrunches up his nose and asks, in a high-pitched baby voice, “Does Minho-ssi want kissies?”
“You’re unbearable,” Minho answers, without a hint of malice. “And I could get a kiss any time I wanted, just for the record.”
“Mm, that may be true,” Hyunjin agrees, shrugging, “Not from me, though.”
“Oh, please. Like you wouldn’t do it if I asked,” Minho scoffs. “Like you wouldn’t absolutely jump at the chance.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I probably would,” Hyunjin admits, and it’s got this strange sort of weight to it, like he’s admitting something he’s held onto for a long time. Minho turns to look at him, surprised by the change in tone, but Hyunjin’s staring off to the side, avoiding eye contact and not letting Minho see his expression.
“Hey, Hyunjin,” Minho calls out. He doesn’t respond. “Hyunjin, come on. Just look at me for a second.”
Hyunjin looks back over, a forced-looking smile on his face. “It’s fine, Hyung. We were just kidding around, I’m not…”
“Kiss me,” Minho interrupts, and when Hyunjin’s brow furrows, he adds, “I mean it, okay? I…” He trails off, the tips of his ears absolutely burning, “I just really want to kiss you right now.”
“Okay,” Hyunjin agrees softly, snubbing out the joint against the concrete seat of the bench and then sliding in closer. His voice is really quiet, with a hint of shakiness, but when he takes Minho’s face in both of his hands and leans in, it’s with the practiced confidence of someone who’s done this hundreds of times before. And hey, maybe he has - he and Minho are close, sure, but they don’t tell each other everything. He has no idea how many people have gotten to kiss Hyunjin, and the thought of that makes his stomach twist strangely.
All of Minho’s thoughts come to a screeching halt as soon as their lips actually touch, though. Minho tastes the strawberry flavor he’d noticed earlier, but much stronger now, and mixed with the taste of smoke. It’s intoxicating and addictive and Minho wants more, immediately. Before he can even think twice about it, he’s dragging his tongue across the seam of Hyunjin’s lips, and when Hyunjin parts them and lets him explore further, holy fuck, he might not ever be able to stop.
They might just have to stay up here forever, making out until the sun explodes, kissing each other until a rain of flames consumes them.
Dramatic thoughts like that aside, though, they do eventually have to break apart for air. Minho discovers then that he was wrong - Hyunjin isn’t at his prettiest when he’s smoking, as it turns out. It’s a close second, but no, he’s actually prettiest when he’s just been kissed, his cheeks flushed pink and his already incredibly plush lips tinted a lovely shade of red.
“That was really nice,” Hyunjin murmurs, picking the joint back up and re-lighting it. Minho has a feeling he’s just trying to find something to keep his hands busy, to quiet his mind, and Minho can’t really blame him. It’s kind of only just now sinking in for him, too.
Did he really just kiss Hyunjin? Does this mean something? Is this going to change anything between them? He sure hopes not, he likes what they have, this occasionally vitriolic but secretly incredibly affectionate friendship, and he’d hate himself forever if he’d just gone and ruined it by initiating a stony makeout session with him.
Hyunjin takes a long, slow drag off the now-lit joint, then quietly comments, “Kissing while we’re smoking is fun. We should do that more often.”
“Yeah,” Minho agrees. “I’d be up for that, too. It was really fun.”
“Cool,” Hyunjin grins, nodding, then passes the joint back over to Minho. “I think I’m good on this, actually, you can finish it off if you want, then… can we go get snacks, maybe? I’ve got the munchies, like, real bad.”
“Yeah, sure, I’m up for snacks. Snacks sound good,” Minho tells him. Hyunjin seems markedly less sleepy than he usually is by this point, but otherwise pretty much the same. Maybe nothing’s changed after all. “What are you in the mood for?”
“God, everything and anything, honestly. I’m about to spend way too much money at that convenience store, and…” Hyunjin pats himself down, then blanches. “Fuck. I forgot my wallet back at the dorm.”
"I should have expected as much, you're always so forgetful,” Minho faux-exasperatedly complains. “And here I was so impressed that you remembered the lighter. Is that the trade-off, is that what’s going on here? Can you truly only remember one thing at a time, Hyunjin?” But Hyunjin’s still pouting, not reacting to the teasing the way he usually would, so Minho sighs, snubbing the roach out under his heel as he stands, “Come on, then. I can treat you to some snacks just this once.”
“Seriously? Oh, you’re the best!” Hyunjin instantly perks up, jumping to his feet. “I promise I’ll pay you back when we get back to the dorm, don’t let me forget.”
“Don’t worry about it,.” Minho tells him.
“Are you sure? I’ll buy yours next time, then,” Hyunjin offers.
“Nah, seriously, just don’t worry about it,” Minho repeats.
“Really? Wow, hyung,” Hyunjin grins, leaning his head on Minho’s shoulder as they head to the stairwell together. “One kiss, and you’re already my sugar daddy? I had no idea you were so easy.”
“Oh, shut up,” Minho grumbles, swatting him lightly on the arm before lacing their fingers together. “What am I ever going to do with you? You’re intolerable, truly.”
//
“Prayers unspoken left no hearts unbroken
I’ve been turning on a dime, yeah
How can we define the line?
Roses on your mind will call you home”