Chapter Text
Moving into his own place has easily, without competition or a shred of doubt, been the most stressful fucking singularity of Sapnap’s life so far. Between trying to organise his work schedule so he was able to go and view the house (which should have been far easier than it was, if he had been able to attend the showing while Ranboo was in school, but his little brother demanded that they went together, so that was just another criteria to work around), making sure he wasn’t too far away from the library he picked up day shifts at or Ranboo’s elementary school-
Sapnap slams closed the trunk of his car, the last box of belongings braced on his hip. The whole town has been stuck in a heatwave for the last two weeks, the air muggy with humidity; he swears that if it just rained for like six hours, the heat would break and become so much more fucking bearable. He had put his hair in a French braid this morning when he started packing the car with their boxes, but after six trips of walking inside and outside, bending up and down, leaning into the backseat and hauling heavy boxes that he definitely overpacked out of sheer stubbornness that yes, I can handle a few boxes, Dre, don’t be such a mother, the thick strands have started to unravel and stick to the back of his neck with sweat. So that’s just gross and he can’t wait to collapse into bed tonight, but it’s only three in the afternoon and he still has to keep Ranboo entertained for the rest of the day.
Little Ranboo, who’s patiently cycling around the front yard on his bike, even though Sapnap told him he could hang out indoors where the AC was keeping the house cool, his little brother was content to stay outside in case Sapnap got lonely. His best friend, Dream, once asked him if he ever felt bitter or dissatisfied with the way things had turned out. After all, Sapnap had the first half of his twenties planned out; he would move to Florida and go to college for psychology, spend his days living with Dream like they had talked about since they were little, and make a real difference to a few people’s lives as a therapist by the time he was twenty-five. It’s hard to believe that, for all his planning, he became the sole guardian for his little brother two weeks before his twentieth birthday. His plans for his twenties were gone before he even hit the milestone of turning twenty. He’d be completely justified in feeling some sense of resentment at an imaginary higher power.
But he didn’t.
Sapnap was twelve when Ranboo was born, and they were inseparable despite the age difference. Sapnap had always wanted to be a big brother, so he was over the moon to finally have the chance. He swore he’d be the coolest older brother in the world, spoil his little sibling as much as he could, make sure they never felt drags of loneliness that plagued Sapnap’s teenage years or the shadows of disconnectedness from his withdrawn mother, who never really formed too much of an attachment to her husband or children, or workaholic father, who never had time for birthdays or school plays, but had time to entertain the company of a woman half the age of his wife.
Without a doubt, Sapnap would throw away his past, present and future for the wellbeing of his little brother. He’s realised that, really, that is what being a big brother is. It’s not how late you let them stay up past their curfew, or the junk food you let them indulge in when you babysit; it’s the devotion where you know you’d be distraught if anything ever happened to them and the protectiveness where you vow that nothing ever will. Sapnap could never bear a grudge over how his life is turning out. Not when it comes to Ranboo.
Little Ranboo on his bicycle, little Ranboo who isn’t so little anymore, already up to the bottom of Sapnap’s ribs and making it painfully clear that he’ll have his father’s height. Sapnap would bet his newly acquired mortgage that Ranboo will be six foot by the time he starts high school, towering over his 5’10 (five foot eight and a half when he stands super straight and wears those nice black sneakers Dream bought him for his birthday) older brother.
Little not-so-little Ranboo, who’s looking over his shoulder to wave wildly at Sapnap while he pedals onwards, blissfully unaware of the kid he’s about to cycle into.
The kid he’s about to fucking cycle into, oh dear Jesus-
“Boo!” he yelps, dropping the box that was on his hip, sprinting forwards and begging - oh God, he’s fucking begging that smashing sound was his imagination and not his new Ikea plates - that he doesn’t have to take a trip to the emergency room - or Ikea again, that place is the tenth circle of hell, it’s a goddamn maze and he can’t do it, not again, not ever.
He’s not sure what happens in the next five seconds. Ranboo squeezes his brakes as hard as he can, the bicycle lurches forward on its front wheel, the kid about to be pulverised by the hand-me-down bike that Sapnap spray-painted red at five in the morning as a surprise for Ranboo when Dream’s little sister donated it in exchange for Taco Bell, suddenly the kid is scooped off the pavement before the bicycle makes contact with their tiny body - and now Sapnap only has to fear for his little brother and his poor face that’s about to make a horrifically painful acquaintance with the asphalt if Sapnap can’t get to the other end of his driveway at Usian fucking Bolt levels of speed, and then all of a sudden Ranboo is scooped up too.
Sapnap takes back any thoughts he once had about a higher power being imaginary, because he’s standing in front of an angel right now, and God is the only possible explanation for someone who looks that good.
All he can choke out is, “Holy fucking- Jesus.”
“Yeah,” the angel is panting when they speak, arms full of two squirming kids. Ranboo looks shocked to the core, his eyes and mouth comically wide as he clings to the angel’s bicep, but the other kid is silent for a few seconds before erupting into tears. “Oh God, no no, Purp, it’s alright, bud.”
Sapnap sprints over to the three, carefully taking Ranboo by the armpits and chucking him over his shoulder. They’ve done it enough times that his little brother needs no prompting before wrapping his arms around Sapnap’s neck and curling his legs around his waist, securing himself in a piggyback so Sapnap’s hands are free.
“Is he okay, is he hurt?” Sapnap asks, panic lacing his words. “I have some bandaids indoors, uh- I don’t know what box they’re in, but I can find them if you need ‘em. I’m so sorry, I should’ve been watching him- I’m really sorry, lil guy, but your dad’s got you-”
The kid manages to stop crying long enough to shoot Sapnap a look like he’s the stupidest person in America, potentially in the world. “They’re not my dad, obviously.”
Sapnap manages to stammer out a few syllables before launching into another apology, making note of the gender-neutral pronouns in his own mind in case masculine terms are a no, but the angel suddenly throws their head back and howls with laughter.
“Wait- Sorry, I’m not laughing at you,” they wheeze out, “It’s just if looks could kill-”
That’s all it takes for all of them to start laughing, Sapnap finding the laughter too infectious to stay silent, and he can hear Ranboo letting out squawks of giggles in his ear even if he doesn’t understand the joke. “I’m Sapnap,” he manages when their cackles have subsided enough to speak, “this is my little brother, Ranboo. We just moved in today.”
“I’m not little,” Ranboo objects, smacking one tiny fist on Sapnap’s sternum in indignation, “I’m eight, I’m big!”
“I’m eight too!” the kid shrieks, reaching into his guardian’s hair to yank excitedly on the thin blonde braid down one side, “I’m Purpled, this is my Punz!”
Sapnap blinks, clearly confused, as his- his Punz? lets out another one of those infectious laughs and sets the kid down before speaking, “Name’s Punz, I’m his sibling. Welcome to the neighbourhood, you two. Sorry about my jaywalking little brother.”
Giving in to Ranboo’s murmured demands, furiously stage-whispering in Sapnap’s ear his request to be set down, Sapnap crouches to let Ranboo dismount his perch on his back. When he gets to his feet again, Punz hasn’t looked away from Sapnap’s dark eyes, even as Sapnap spares a glance to the pair of eight-year-olds as they run to pick up Ranboo’s bicycle and sagely examine it for damages. “I’m so sorry again, I was focused on unloading the car, I thought Boo would be fine biking around,” he apologises again, equal parts mournful and embarrassed, “I feel terrible that your brother got so scared.”
Punz just smiles, genuine and placating, “Listen, I’ve done the whole moving to a new place while trying to keep an eye on a hyper kid, it’s stressful beyond belief. I cried into my spaghetti the first night after moving here because I lost Purp’s teddy in transit. As long as you haven’t committed something that heinous, I think you’re doing alright. Besides, they’re kids, getting bumps and scrapes is part of the gig. Healthy, even.”
For the first time all day, Sapnap feels a sense of relief crash over him and he sighs so hard that he wants to sit down and melt into the couch. “I wouldn’t survive long enough to eat spaghetti if anything happened to Tubbee. Ranboo would kill me,” he jokes, trying to keep his voice steady and serious even as he smiles. “Thanks though. For, uhm, y’know- saying I’m doing alright. I know we just met but- I dunno, it’s nice to hear. I needed that.”
Punz smiles wider at his confession, slowly reaching out to pat Sapnap’s elbow. Their hand is paler than Sapnap’s own, but their fingers are longer and skinnier, with chipped black nail polish on their bitten-down nails. “I’ve been there. It gets… a lot easier. With time comes routine. Don’t get me wrong, having a support system in the neighbourhood works wonders.”
“Oh yeah?” Sapnap asks, looking over to his brother and Purpled again quickly; they seem to be forming a fast friendship, as Ranboo has let the blond kid take a turn on his bike, chasing each other around the yard. “Honestly, I don’t know much about any of the other people living here. We were in a bit of a time crunch, Boo and I, to move into a new place, this was the only house where it was possible to move in within a week and we only had one viewing.”
He knows he’s rambling slightly, half distracted by the way Punz looks at him with so much light in their silver-grey eyes, as if he’s telling them all the deepest and most well-protected secrets on God’s green earth. But when Punz eagerly nods and gestures around the street with one hand, he loses most of his shyness. “Good thing you met me. Purp and I are next door to you, and on your other side is Sam. He’s lovely, I swear. Kind of intimidating when you first meet him, but he’ll warm up to Ranboo so quickly and then you’ll be in his good books too by connection.”
Sapnap snorts a laugh at their phrasing, “You make him sound like Santa.”
“You know what, that’s close enough. He’s a real white picket fence kinda guy, does a barbecue every week for the neighbourhood. I tease him about it, but it’s sweet as hell,” they match Sapnap’s chuckles with their own giggles, and Sapnap downright refuses to even think about the way his heart beats a little harder. “And directly across the street from you is Phil and Kristin, they have three boys. Wilbur and Techno are twins, they’re fifteen or sixteen; and Tommy, he’s the same age as Ranboo and Purpled! Crazy kids, I swear I think Purp has too much energy and then I see Wilbur dangling Tommy off the roof at seven in the morning, and I realise I got lucky.”
Punz side-eyes him at this point, as if checking whether or not Sapnap believes their words. He’s honestly too overwhelmed from the stressful day and the adrenaline crash after their meeting to do anything but nod blankly, trying to take in and process the information Punz is unloading on him.
“What if I give you the full introduction tomorrow, Sap?” they ask gently, and God he must be more tired than he thought if the nickname makes him smile so quickly. “You look like you could use a sit-down and a nice meal. Or a beer. Maybe several.”
He knows they’re joking, he knows this. But suddenly, Sapnap cracks and there’s tears welling in his eyes and, shit, did that sobbing noise come from him? He tries to cover his face because he doesn’t even know why he’s crying - and that’s a lie, Sapnap is a dirty liar, because he does know why he’s crying, he has a list to rival Jay Z’s of why he’s crying - but he can’t cover his face when Punz bundles him into their arms without hesitation, hugging him just as easily as they hugged and coddled Purpled when he cried from shock, and maybe that’s half the reason Sapnap’s crying now. Shock.
“I think I broke my fucking plates,” he grieves, clinging to Punz like he’s one of the eight-year-olds and he grazed his knee. “And I’m not even old enough to drink.”
“Oh, bug,” Punz lets out a sigh, but they don’t sound annoyed at his breakdown. In fact, they sound just as comforting as they did when they were fussing over their little brother, like they know everything is going to be just fine. “Do you feel up to talking more or is that it?”
Greedily, Sapnap wants to close up and not utter another word, maybe just let himself be held until the embarrassment kicks in and he wants to crawl away and die somewhere hidden and forgotten about. But he knows he can’t just sob in Punz’s arms for three minutes and not give a justified explanation. “I dropped a box when I ran after Boo,” he whispers, sniffling as he speaks, but spurred on when Punz gives him an encouraging squeeze around the waist. “I think my plates were in it, and now they’re probably broken, but I hate Ikea so much, I spent six hours in it on Thursday just trying to kit out my kitchen, but the bowls don’t match the plates anyways and Ranboo doesn’t like the mugs-” His voice starts to pitch up emotionally again, but one of Punz’s strong hands rubs along his spine and he feels himself start to calm just as quickly as the panic rose. “I really don’t want to go back to Ikea, you know? This is literally the most stressful day of my life, like I panicked less about my SATs, that shit was a piece of cake but I’m moving into my own place and looking after Boo and it’s just us and I’m not even old enough to drink.”
At some point during his spiel, the two kids have made their way over. Sapnap can feel Ranboo’s sharp nose digging into his side as he hugs him tightly, and there’s a smaller set of hands patting his back beside Punz’s, which he assumes is Purpled trying to comfort him too. He knows he’s one of the lucky ones; yes, he’s taken on responsibilities he didn’t plan for within the next decade of his life, but he’s already made a friend who has experience in a similar situation. He’s sure that a lot of people don’t have that.
“Okay, how does this sound,” Punz starts, after they’ve taken a few seconds to mull over Sapnap’s words. “Let’s go check out that box. If the plates aren’t broken, then that’s a huge fucking dub for us.” When Purpled lets out a dramatic gasp at the curse word, a giggle bubbles from Sapnap’s throat, and he gives a minuscule nod in agreement with the plan. “If they are broken, I’ll get two plates from my place and you can use them until you get replacements. Fuck Ikea, just order a set on Amazon, I’ll even help you pick them out if you want. Then I’m gonna order you and Boo a pizza and drop you off a couple of beers.”
“Sap, can Purpled and Punz have pizza with us?” Ranboo suddenly bursts to life with his question, leaping back from the tight tangle of the four of them embracing each other.
“I think they should definitely join us for pizza if they have no other plans,” Sapnap agrees, regretfully detangling his arms from over Punz’s broad shoulders and taking a small step back from the hug. “Especially after they’ve been so nice, right?”
Punz and Purpled exchange a look and a smile, before the kid nods enthusiastically and Punz speaks, “How could we say no to that?”