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“Pound it!”
Chat Noir looked at the fist that Ladybug extended towards him and stepped back, his own fist tightening on his baton.
“Ladybug, we need to talk.”
Her forehead creased as her eyebrows knit together, and her opposite hand reached up to her earrings, which had begun to beep. “Now, chaton? We don’t have much longer before our transformations fall—”
“Your transformation, you mean.” His tone, uncharacteristically cold, made her flinch. “I didn’t even need to use Cataclysm. Again. I have all the time in the world.”
“Chat…” she sighed. “Okay, what do you need to talk about?”
To actually get her to listen and talk to him shocked him, sending a bitter taste through his mouth when he realized how badly their partnership had weakened. He took a deep breath and gripped the baton resolutely, his thumb nervously grazing the button that would extend it.
“How about how you’ve been shutting me out?”
“Shutting you out?” Ladybug seemed bewildered. “What are you talking about?”
“This is the fifth time,” Chat answered, “that you haven’t needed me to do anything besides play the distraction."
“You’ve always been good at drawing attention, though!”
“Yeah.” Chat gritted his teeth. “But I used to know what the plan was before I did it. Now, I’m always the last to know, if I ever even get to find out. I’m just the pawn for your and Rena’s plans.”
“That’s not true!”
“Isn’t it?” Chat took a deep breath, letting it slowly out of his nose.
Ladybug clapped a hand to her ear. “Chat, I’m sorry, but we don’t have much more time before I transform and expose our identities-—”
“Really?” Chat just managed to keep from snarling. “Because I know at least two people here who that apparently doesn’t matter to.” He craned his head towards where Rena and Carapace stood by awkwardly. “Sorry, three.”
Ladybug blanched, but her voice remained steady. “What?”
He leaned in and hissed. “I know that they know each other’s identities.”
Her blanch intensified, and her voice shook. “How do you—”
“Funny,” he said as his fingers drummed along the baton, “how we have to be so secretive — sorry, I have to be so secretive because it’s the rules, and somehow, the rules don't apply to them. And you, obviously.” He dipped into an insouciant bow. “Just little old me. Can’t trust the distraction with too much, can you?”
“Chat, it’s not like—”
“It’s exactly like that.” He smirked without humor. “I’ll see you later.”
Jabbing his finger into the baton’s button, he jettisoned himself off the building towards home, the whistling of the wind nearly drowning out Ladybug’s calls.
“Chat Noir! Wait, Chat—”
“—Noir. Hey, you in there?”
Chat shook his head, the images concocted in his mind dissipating as he looked ahead to where Ladybug had her fist extended, an eyebrow raised.
“Oh, yeah.” He looked at his hand, which was clenched tightly around his baton, and flexed it loose before tapping his fist against hers. “Sorry, M’lady.”
She smiled back at him, the sides of the smile lopsiding into concern.
“You okay? You’ve been distracted today.”
Distraction . His daydream’s bitter words filled his brain and the pit of his stomach with a sickly sourness. He forced down the inclination to retch, plastering a well-practiced model’s smile onto his face.
“Civilian stuff,” he shrugged. “I’ll be more on my game next time.” Not that it’ll make a difference. He knocked one hand up in a salute. “Until next time!”
He launched himself off the roof, away from the others and his own thoughts.
~~~
Things had been more tense than ever at home since Adrien had openly spoken out against Project Oxygen, and so he quickly scarfed down his breakfast without bothering to wait to see if his father would deign to make an appearance.
Plagg hummed indignantly about not having more time with his camembert, so Adrien had stuck a few extra wheels of the pungent cheese into his bag as a peace offering. The Gorilla, obliging as always, took Adrien to school far earlier than usual without any questions.
However, escaping the mansion and its stiff silence to get to a school that was equally as silent left Adrien with nothing else to do besides check over his homework and mull over his thoughts.
Sliding into the empty seat behind his and Nino's desk, Adrien pulled out the essay he had finished the night before and began reading it. His right hand twitched nervously, the red pen clutched in his fingers clicking rhythmically against the desk. He hummed, a tuneless sound, along with the tapping of the pen as he read, nodding perfunctorily to anyone walking in.
"Hey, man!" Nino exclaimed, sitting down beside him and slapping his hand in a high five. "What's up?"
Adrien grinned, still clicking away. "The ceil—"
Because she thinks he's annoying. And she's right!
His pen fell from his suddenly nerveless fingers, and he smiled. "Nothing much. You?"
Nino frowned a little and adjusted his cap. "Everything cool, bro?"
"Yeah." Adrien yawned pointedly. "Just up late - family stuff, you know?"
"Ugh, I'm sorry." Nino patted his friend's shoulder. "That's annoying."
Adrian's smile wilted.
Annoying. Annoying. Annoying.
All four of them sat at the edge of the roof — the Bug and Chat team quickly had become a thing of the past — and were brainstorming the best course of action should Shadowmoth make an appearance in the field.
"You've been very quiet, Chaton," Ladybug said from where she sat by Rena.
Chat shrugged one shoulder. "I've got nothing, and I wouldn't want to annoy you with my dumb jokes."
"Annoy?" Ladybug leaned forward slightly, looking around Rena at him. "What do you mean?"
"Don't need to spare my feelings," Chat snorted. "I know that you think I'm annoying."
Ladybug frowned. Chat felt Carapace tensing guiltily beside him, a pang of vindictive triumph reverberating in his chest at his friend's reaction.
"Why would you think—" Ladybug began.
Chat inclined his head towards Carapace. "He told me."
Ladybug spun to face the Turtle Miraculous holder. "Why would you—"
Carapace looked stricken, his eyes scanning Chat Noir, mind clearly trying to connect the dots.
"Oh," Chat mused airily, "don't be too hard on him. At least he's being honest."
"But dude," Carapace muttered, "I-I don't remember ever saying that to you. I only said it to—" His eyes widened as the pieces settled into place. "Oh. Oh!"
"Go on, say it," Chat coaxed, twirling his baton on his fingers. "What are secret identities among friends?"
Carapace cleared his throat, swallowed. "...Adrien?"
Chat grinned, ignoring the twin gasps coming from the girls.
"Well, that's let the cat out of the bag — apologies for the pun. And," he caught the twirling baton, "now that I've broken that secret identity rule," he coughed, "you'll probably want this back." He tapped the ring. "Just let me get home first and say goodbye. It shouldn't be hard to find a better Black Cat Miraculous holder even with that much delay. Come whenever, Ladybug."
He stood, extending his baton.
"After all, you know where to find me."
"Adrien?" Fingers snapped in front of his face, and he blinked. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." He grinned before folding his arms on the tabletop and resting his head on them. He shut his eyes. "Just tired."
~~~
Plastering a model’s smile on his face, Adrien blinked through the barrage of flashes as the paparazzi took pictures while he posed with the cutout of animated Chat Noir.
Frankly, after all the drama that had ensued after Nino had seen the movie, he didn’t want to be anywhere near anything related to it. But an order from Father could not be ignored, and the publicity department for the movie managed to squeeze half an hour into his cramped schedule for a photo session.
Just please don’t ask about Renanoir , he begged, the back of his head and neck twinging painfully at the thought. Actually, the entire back of his body and head still ached if he moved too quickly.
“Move in closer, Adrien,” one of the paparazzi called.
He stepped closer, slinging his arm around the cardboard cutout’s shoulders.
At least they didn’t make me dress up like...myself for the promotion, he grumbled inwardly, stretching his mouth to match the grin of his cardboard counterpart. His fingers bit like claws through the cardboard.
“You own one of these?” Ladybug giggled, although her giggle didn’t lift his spirits like it usually did. It was a real shame since she hadn’t been laughing as much lately.
Chat leaned the cardboard cutout more securely against the brick wall lining the building’s roof.
“Eh,” he shrugged. “The movie theater was getting crowded, and they were practically giving them away.”
Well, if your name was Adrien Agreste and you asked, they were, but he could hardly tell her that — it would expose their secret identities after all.
“So,” she popped her hip to one side and smiled, “why bring it up here?”
“Figured I’d save Rena some work,” he replied blithely, “and just bring her a distraction that won’t ask questions.”
Ladybug looked dumbfounded. “Rena?”
“Oh, I know she’s in the shadows, if she’s not in the open,” he continued. “How else would all those illusions keep happening? I’m not just a pretty face, I did figure it out.”
Rena stepped down from where she’d been waiting by the chimney, likely preparing for whatever two-person-plans they’d been making that he didn’t need to know about.
“Hey Chat.” She smiled, but it wilted a little under his unwavering scrutiny.
“Hey Rena, like the new costume. Anyway,” he turned to Ladybug, “you still have the remote kitty, right? Or did you throw it away after I screwed up in New York?”
Ladybug blinked a few times before absentmindedly opening her yoyo and extracting the cat. “Why do you want—?”
Chat took the cat from her and stuffed it into a hole he’d carved into the back of the cutout. He pulled the tiny remote from a pocket in his suit and dangled it between the two superheroines.
“So, who’s the one who gets it?”
“Gets it?”
“Look.” Chat pushed the button, and the cutout shook and meowed. “See? Perfect, wouldn’t you say? It’s like you don’t even need me.”
Ladybug began stammering something about how that wasn’t true, but Chat was tired of lies.
“Here,” he put the remote in her hand. “Just take it. It’s easier to keep your puppet where you need him when you’re holding the strings.”
He turned to the rooftop’s edge.
“Call me if you need me.” Laughing at his own joke, he leapt off.
“You gonna get to take that home?” one of the paparazzi asked.
“Oof, I don’t know,” Adrien answered, rubbing the back of his neck, causing the camera flashes to intensify. “I think my house can only take so much posing at the same time.”
The photographers chuckled as Adrien mimicked the pose of the cutout.
~~~
Adrien lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. The smell of camembert along with the sounds of voracious munching grew stronger as Plagg floated slowly over from the refrigerator.
“You okay, kid?”
He considered lying, but he was too tired. Instead, he groaned and covered his eyes with his arm.
Plagg shoved the remainder of the cheese into his mouth and perched on the edge of his forearm, paws prodding.
“Kid?”
“What’s the point, Plagg?”
“Huh?”
“I thought,” Adrien groaned. “I thought I got the Miraculous so I could help, so I could make a difference. And it started out great! I got to help people, I got to get out of the house.” He choked a little. “I made friends.”
“Kid.”
“I thought I had people I could rely on, people who can trust me, see the real me.” He snorted. “Whoever that is.”
He moved his forearm enough so he could look at his kwami.
“But I guess I was wrong. The last few fights I barely get a chance to show up, if I even make it in time. And then I’m just... in the way . I trusted Ladybug, I thought we were partners — but she definitely doesn’t trust me .” He laughed, pent-up tears lacing through the sound. “She trusts people she’s known for less time more than she trusts me. How long are they going to keep shoving me in the dark until I’m too useless for even that?”
He covered his face in his hands.
“No one needs me. No one likes me. I’m just annoying and a decoy and out of the loop.”
Plagg rubbed against the shell of Adrien’s ear. “He didn’t mean it, kid. None of them mean that, they’re just—”
“Right.” Adrien sat up on the edge of the bed, rubbing his temple. “Aren’t they?”
“No,” Plagg replied. “You’re more than that, kid. You really need to talk to someone.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that would go well with the whole secrets thing.”
“How about Ladybug?”
Adrien shook his head. “No, she already doesn’t trust me. She already thinks I’m useless. Last thing I want to do is give her a reason to…” He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed it vigorously.
Plagg perched on his shoulder and brushed against his cheek; Adrien must have looked as bad as he felt.
“What are you going to do then?”
Adrien opened his mouth, but was cut off by the akuma alert on his phone. “Plagg, I—”
“—renounce you.”
“Kid, what are you talking about? We need to go!”
“ You need to go. They need the Black Cat Miraculous, they don’t need me. If you hurry, you should be able to get to Ladybug in time for her to find a better wielder. One she can actually rely on.”
“Kid…”
“Go!”
His vision blurred as not-his kwami sped off.
“Goodbye, Plagg.”
-
“—am going to stay here.”
“What about the others? They need you!”
“They haven’t needed me at all the past four times, Plagg. I don’t think they will now.” He lay back down and rolled over to his side.
The TV droning steadily in the background was already extolling the praises of the Miraculous team who had never taken down an akuma so quickly before. Adrien closed his eyes.
-
Adrien spoke out automatically into the still, empty room before he remembered that Plagg was long gone. He had seen Ladybug’s decision long before it had been made, possibly even before she’d made the decision herself. He had slowly, then suddenly, been less useful, especially in comparison to the new Miraculous holders. Maybe at first she’d believed her own lie that he was irreplaceable; but clearly he could be replaced.
At least she’d taken the ring back when they were alone, rather than stripping him of it in front of the others.
It had hurt to say goodbye to Plagg, but he deserved to have a better Miraculous holder.
He had walked into that alley with Ladybug as Chat Noir; he had walked out alone, as just Adrien.
He didn’t know what to do anymore. He’d felt more like himself as Chat Noir than as the model Adrien Agreste, and now the facade was all he had left. But that was all he had to offer anyway. Father couldn’t tolerate him doing anything but looking pretty and doing what he was told. Kagami hated the sillier side of himself. Nino thought he was annoying. Alya clearly thought of him as a decoy at best and a hindrance at worst. And Ladybug—
—well, she didn’t think of Chat Noir as anything but an untrustworthy sidekick.
The akuma alert he had never bothered to uninstall from his phone chimed. He pulled the covers over his head and tried to block the world out.
Sometimes he could almost believe he could still hear Plagg calling him…
“Kid? Hey, Adrien!”
Adrien blinked. Plagg darted across his vision.
“Sorry, Plagg.”
“You all right?”
He wasn’t. But he was going to have to be. For now, at least, he was still Chat Noir.
He plastered on a grin that only made Plagg frown.
“Plagg, Claws Out!”