Work Text:
Chris McLean is flipping through Owens diary, Owen is in fucking prison for helping Izzy burn down elderly couples houses
Chris McLean: Owen, can you explain what “chref” is?
Owen: chef is always on top.
Chris McLean: what does that- OH! DEAR GOD!
Chris McLean screams and starts sobbing on
the ground while Owen runs of screaming and laughing like a psychopath
Owen is now at a wig shop and is walking through the the mullet section
Worker: hello sir, can I help you with anything?
Owen: yes, do you know how expensive this is?
Owen holds up a green mullet, a bright green mullet. It resembles the hair of the fictional antagonist most commonly associated with the Batman series “the joker” but like if the joker had a mullet
Worker: no sir thats free because who the hell buys green mullet wigs.
Owen: goodbye bitch
he pulls a gun out of his pocket and shoots this random women ten times in the chest. The police don’t come because he’s the fucking jonker and nobody arrests the jonker
At home: Owen is at his vanity and just got done powdering his entire face white,he is now smattering lipstick On himself and has smuggled eyeliner, he looks like a clown going through a scene kid phase
Owens mother: Owen what’s going on? You haven’t left your room in three days we’re worried.
Owen: society…. Society
Owen shoots his mom ten times in the chest
At Noah’s house, Owen is at Noah’s front door, making Noah disturbed. Or maybe he’s disturbed because he found herbrinoe in mincraft (totally not click bait!!!!!)
Noah: hey big O- WHAT THR FUCK
Owen: I’m the jonker baby 69 420
Noah: whatever your lucky I’m in love with you
Inside Noah’s house, Noah is sitting on his bed and Owen is laying on the floor like a dog for some reason, all the pictures on the wall are of Owen and Noah being iconic boyfriends
Owen: so I heard you have some good thoughts on society
Noah: penis
Owen: wow! Such good thoughts on society)
The next day at The costume shop Owen works at, Owen is walking to his manegers office. The manger is duncan not because he worked there but because girl boss Courtney kicked him out of the house for not wiping his ass
Tyler: hey Owen! Why are you dressed like a clown?
Owen: I’m the jonker baby
Tyler: who’s the jonker?
Owen: die
He shoots tyler ten times in the chest
Now inside his managers office, Owen sits across from Duncan. He had to sit there for a couple minutes because Duncan was to busy watching the aletyler video, fucking weirdo. He’s crying. He notices Owen and turns off his computer. He also stops crying becaue he can apparently cry on cue.
Duncan: Owen! How’s the clown gig going?
Owen: a bunch of kids beat me up a couple days ago so I’m quitting. Also society.
Duncan: fuck you get out of my office
Owen: zoo wee Mama.
you know the drill, he shoots Duncan ten times in the chest.alarms start blaring and Owen runs out. he steals a clown suit on his way, resembling the one the joker in the 2019 movie “the joker” wears
The scene switches to Owen on a train, he is getting weird looks from Blainley, who is fa-fa-famous. Famous.
He passed her a card that says “sorry I’m. Not acting like other girls, I’m the joker baby ;)” she flips the card and it says on the other side “live, laugh, love”.
Owen pulls his phone out and dials somebody’s number, he giggles hysterically as the person picks up.
Alejandro: hello?
Owen: hey al. Do you have Prince Albert in a can?! (He begins to laugh like the popular fictional antagonist “the joker”.)
Alejandro: no? Is this some kind of reference I don’t get or something? What is the joke?
Owen: oh… well if you must know, prince Albert happened to be a very popular brand of canned tobacco!
Alejandro: oh I see
Owen: yeah and get it! And prince alberts also a real person, so if you had anything like cigarettes or… crack cocaine.
Alejandro: (in response to “crack cocaine”) I have that…
Owen: yeah! And then I’d say “well you better let him out” if you said yes.
Alejandro: Interesting, I’m sorry we can’t keep chatting but it’s time for me to go down on Noah.
Owen: oh okay- WHAT?! No!!!!!! You are not allowed to go down on-
(Alejandro hangs up before Owen can finish his sentace)
Owen: ale’s banging my best buddy! No! I’ll kill that son of a bitch-
(In the hospital, Noah is dying becaue of a rare disease called “I don’t fuckikg know)
Owen: hey little buddy, can you sniff this pillow for me?
Noah: sure
(Owen smacks the pillow on Noah’s face)
Noah: oh okay this smells nice… why is it wet-?
Owen: shhhh just keep smelling the pillow (he starts crying)
(Noah fucking dies)
(In Alejandros new show “the burromeuto show”, Owen is backstage, now wearing the full jonker attire.)”
Eva: alright, we’re on air, you’ll be coming out in a second, any final requests or whatever?”
Owen:……………… yes…………. When I come out can you introduce me as…….. the jonker??????????????????????????????????????????????
Eva: sure , just take off that ugly ass wig
(Owen shoots Eva ten times in the chest and walks on stage)
Owen: hey ale, wanna hear a joke????
Alejandro: sure :)
Owen: what happens when somebody, not calling out names, *cough “Alejandro” cough* bangs my best buddy?!!!!
Alejandro: I wouldn’t know,,,what happens when someone bangs Noah- I mean your best buddy?
Owen: they get what they fucking deserve!!!!
Owen shoots Alejandro ten times in the chest
The final shot shows Owen dancing on a stairwell while screaming “I’m the jonker baby”.