Work Text:
Being Speedy came easy to Roy. It was everything he’d admired since he was a kid. Archery had been one of his favorite hobbies ever since he’d first picked up a bow at three years old, even if he wasn’t exactly allowed to be shooting at that age. Growing up on the Rez, he’d heard stories about the hero who went by Green Arrow in Star City. As reluctant as he was to admit it, he was a huge fanboy when it came to the emerald archer so when he became Speedy, it was a dream come true. He was working with his favorite hero, doing what he loved — and helping people. One of his favorite parts of the job was the feeling of pure satisfaction he received after a long night of making sure the people of Star City were safe. But as with all good things, it seemed they had to come to an end.
There weren’t many things that could kill Roy’s good mood, but going to school was one of them. It wasn’t because of the learning that had to be done (even if it did bore him to death) but rather his classmates. Roy knew he’d have to transfer schools as soon as he’d run from the reservation ( he’d hoped he could keep skipping and be on his own as long as possible ) but what he hadn’t known was that Oliver would send him to a fancy private school. He figured it was just a rich person notion - that they couldn’t enroll their kids in public school… which created a huge problem for Roy.
Stuffy, rich, white kids. They were his classmates. So when they found out where Roy was raised, their reaction wasn’t ideal— but then again, what did Roy expect? The most experience they had with a different culture was probably eating at Taco Bell.
Most of them weren’t too bad, just unbelievably misinformed. They used their small percentage of Native heritage to try and bond with him — and played into stereotypes without knowing it in the process — which angered him to no end. He found himself teaching them things he shouldn’t have needed to. But their actions also reminded him that he was white himself; that these were the people he “belonged” with.
As with any typical “new kid at school” affair, Roy found himself dealing with a group of bullies. He wanted to cry over just how cliche it was. They were juniors from the football team; big, strong guys who thought playing sports was a personality trait. It had started with teasing and small remarks that Roy could handle — but when the comments got more offensive as the days went on, he found himself losing the little patience he had— until one day he finally snapped. Before he knew it, his fist was connecting with one of their noses and a sickening crack ensued that rang out through the silent classroom.
Roy didn’t feel any remorse when he found himself sitting in the principal’s office only moments later, or try to hide the smug look on his face as he learned that he’d broken the kid’s nose. The kid had deserved it. He didn’t even argue when he found out he was grounded for the next two weeks ( though he was a little miffed when Oliver said that Speedy was grounded too ) or that he was suspended for the rest of the week. He could’ve at the least gotten his punishment shortened if he explained the events leading up to the altercation, but Roy didn’t think it was really necessary. Besides, letting adults get involved in your drama got you pegged as a wimp.
It was only Monday when he felt like his whole world crashed down on him. It was about ten in the evening and rather than being out on patrol like he should’ve been, Roy was sitting on his messy bed silently working on his math homework. As he moved through the questions, he noticed something felt off about his wrist and slowly moved his gaze to the arm in question, almost scared to see why.
He wasn’t wearing his bracelet.
Brave Bow’s bracelet wasn’t on his wrist.
His heart nearly stopped as he stared at the spot where it should have been. His vision blurred as hot tears quickly welled in his eyes, ready to spill over onto his pale cheeks. God, how could he have let himself lose it? He’d taken it off when he changed for PE earlier that day because he didn’t want to lose it during class. Normally he would’ve remembered to put it back on, but after class as he was heading into the locker room he was cornered by the kid with the broken nose and his friends. Just as Roy thought another punch was going to be thrown, the bell rang. The boys decided to leave him alone and left the locker room, so he got dressed in a rushed and flustered manner so he wouldn’t get into more trouble for being late. Somehow he’d forgotten to put the bracelet back on.
He was furious with himself. It was the only thing of his former guardian’s that he had, and he’d been so careless with it that he’d lost it. He didn’t try to hold the tears back anymore as memories ( and lack of them ) flooded back to him. He knew he didn’t deserve to have it, especially when he was the reason that Brave Bow was dead — but he couldn’t deny the despair he felt, or just how much he missed him.
He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly, sobbing quietly. It had been a couple of minutes before he heard a voice outside his bedroom door and he froze, blinking blearily as he tried to make out what was being said.
“Hey, kid?” The voice was muffled and came from the other side of the door. Roy turned his head, hastily wiping tears from his cheeks with the heel of his hand.
“Uhm, yeah?” He replied, cursing internally for how his voice shook. He really didn’t want Oliver to know he’d been crying. He wiped his face one last time before the door opened and he looked up to see Oliver Queen standing there.
“I know I grounded you, but Vertigo’s… actually, I don’t know what he’s trying to do, but he just showed up and I could really use your help, Speedy.” Roy blinked, staring at his mentor in shock. Sure, Oliver wasn’t the best at sticking to his punishments, but he hadn’t expected to be called into action like this. Then again, vigilante life wasn’t exactly the most predictable.
“... okay, just let me put this stuff in my bag,” He gestured to the textbook and pencils scattered across the surface of the bed. He sniffed and wiped his eyes as discreetly as possible, unceremoniously tossing his stuff into his backpack. He thanked whatever god from whatever pantheon that was responsible for close calls like th—
“Have you been crying?” The younger archer froze in place, his eyes widening as he stared at his backpack. Oliver’s voice didn’t seem judgemental or disappointed in any way, but Roy couldn’t deny the embarrassment he felt.
“I…” He trailed off, debating whether or not he should deny it and if Ollie would even believe him if he did. “...yeah.” He finally spoke in a dejected tone, keeping his gaze on the math book sticking out of his bag.
“Why?” Roy grimaced. That was the question he’d been dreading because even he didn’t know. Was it over the bullying? Losing the bracelet? Being the reason his father was dead? He was quiet for a long time, thinking over how he was going to reply - if at all.
“Because I killed him.” He slowly turned his head to look at his guardian, tears welling in his blue eyes again.
“...what? Who?”
“Brave Bow!” He exclaimed, standing up abruptly. “I snuck off the Rez, I got drunk, and when I woke up he was dead with an arrow in his neck and… and I was holding my bow!” He was yelling now, tears flowing freely from his eyes. “I fucking killed...I killed him!” Oliver stood there in shock, having never heard the story before. All Roy had told him was that Brave Bow was dead - not that he might have done it.
Roy sat ( more like dropped ) onto the bed as he continued to sob, a hand coming up to cover his face. He felt the mattress dip beside him and cringed. Soon after an arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him close. He tensed at the touch, embarrassed to be seen like this - a blubbering, crying mess.
“Look, Roy,” Oliver took a deep breath before he continued. “I can’t say you did it or you didn’t. I wasn’t there, but what I do know is that you’re not a bad person.” Roy blinked in confusion. Where was he going with this? “If you did, it was probably an accident. I honestly can’t see you doing something like that.”
“You’ve known me a grand total of six months, Oliver. How could you possibly know I wouldn’t do that?”
“I dunno. Just a hunch.” Roy scoffed and wiped his eyes, watching as Oliver stood up.
“I mean, if you think you’re such a bad person you don’t have to come with me tonight, to you know, save people . What the good guys do.”
“Not a chance.” Roy sniffed, brushing his red locks away from his face. Somehow, he just knew that Oliver had to be right.