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Do you have the notes from yesterday?
~Francis
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Yes.
Arthur
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Well...
May I borrow them?
~Francis
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No.
Arthur
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Well why not?!?!
~Francis
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Because I don't consider it my problem when other people miss class to shag people in the storage closet.
Arthur
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You're being unreasonable.
~Francis
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Not really.
Arthur
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Please?
Francis
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No.
Arthur
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You're an asshole.
~Francis
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Thank you.
I know.
Arthur
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Did you hear about Gilbert's party?
~Francis
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Yes.
Arthur
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Are you going?
~Francis
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Why do you care?
Arthur
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I'm just curious.
~Francis
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Yes, I am.
Only to get sloshed, mind you, I'm really not in it for the company.
Arthur
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Has anyone ever told you that you're bordering on alcoholism?
~Francis
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Yes, they have.
It was my brother though, so I told him to shove it up his arse.
Arthur
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You ARE going though?
~Francis
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YES!
Although, the more you insist, the more I think it's some kind of ridiculous scheme you've created to make me make a fool of myself.
Arthur
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Oh, my dear, you do that on your own.
~Francis
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Fuck off.
Arthur
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Do you have the notes for last class?
Arthur
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Yes.
~Francis
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Don't play this game with me! I know exactly what you're doing so just hand them over! I'm not in the mood right now!
Arthur
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I'm sorry, but I don't consider it my problem when people miss class because they're too hung over to show up.
~Francis
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I fucking hate you
Arthur
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I love you too my dear <3
~Francis
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One of these days someone is going to find you dead in a ditch, and I'm not going to say that it was me that put you there, but it won't take much figuring.
Arthur
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That's because you lack the intelligence to actually cover up the murder.
~Francis
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Well I'm not the dead one in this situation so who's the real winner here?
Arthur
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Don't come to me crying when you're someone's prison bitch.
That is, of course, if you would be able to pull it off at all, and judging by what I've seen so far, the only way you could do that is through whatever it is that you shove in your mouth every lunch hour.
And, trust me on this, THAT is NEVER going near my mouth.
~Francis
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No, I won't have to kill you because you'll suffocate yourself on perfume before I get the chance.
Arthur
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I'm sorry that personal hygiene is an alien concept to you.
~Francis
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Personal Hygiene, yes, infortun
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I fucking hate you
Arthur
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The feeling is mutual
~Francis
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I'm missing the cricket!
Arthur
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Only someone as boring as you could be distraught over missing cricket.
~Francis
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IT'S YOUR FAULT WE'RE HERE!
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YOU PASSED THE FIRST NOTE, YOU IDIOTIC
No, I'm going to be the bigger person and ignore you.
~Francis
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DON'T FUCKING IGNORE ME FRANCIS!
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FRANCIS!
FUCKING ANSWER ME YOU RAGI
You know what, fine.
Fuck you too
Arthur
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You look awful today.
~Francis
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Fuck you too.
Arthur
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What got you all huffy?
~Francis
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You.
And a migraine, so if you'd piss off and let me die here that would be very much appreciated.
Arthur
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I have headache pills if you want one?
~Francis
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Please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm logging bets on how large the stick is that's up Mr Beilschmidt's arse.
Arthur
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£20 on painfully.
~Francis
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Noted.
Gil bet £100 on 5m
Tonio told me to stick it up mine
Liz said it wasn't a stick, it was a dick
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And you?
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I bet on the fact it wasn't a stick, but a whole tree.
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I think you win.
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What is it?
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What?
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You look like someone just killed your puppy.
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Since when do you care?
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I don't.
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Then why are you asking?
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Because I can't sit here and pay attention when you're sitting next to me looking like you're about to burst into tears.
What's wrong?
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Why should I tell you?
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I don't have a good answer to that.
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My mother is sick.
She's been having chemo for a while, but it's stopped working.
They say she has two weeks to live.
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Meet me after class under the big tree. I have something to tell show you.
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Thank you again for yesterday.
~Francis
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I didn't mind.
You needed it.
Arthur
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I mean, I didn't know that
Yes, I did.
~Francis
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I had f
I missed ha
I think I
We could do it again. If you wanted.
Arthur.
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I would love
That would be abso
Yes please.
~Francis
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Ok, I'll meet you by the big tree again after school.
Arthur
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Ok
~Francis
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Have you ever noticed how Mr. Wang's face puffs up when he's angry?
He looks like some kind of mutant puffer fish.
Do you think he has a glandular problem or do you think his mum fucked a fish?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This time it is definitely your fault we're here.
~Francis
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I reject that notion.
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How can I NOT laugh at that?
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It's not my fault I'm a comedic genius.
It's also not my fault that you couldn't even find a place to shove the note where Wang wouldn't have found it.
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What did you expect me to do? Eat it?
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Yes.
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I wasn't going to eat it.
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Putting it in your underwear was also a viable option.
~~~
You'd just love it if I'd rubbed that note all over myself wouldn't you?
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I wouldn't have touched it with a ten foot barge pole.
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Don't lie to me, I know you'd sleep with it under your pillow.
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No, but I might just put it in one of my brothers' beds.
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They'd murder in your sleep.
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Yes, but it would be a funn
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Hey Gil,
Have you heard from Francis?
He won't answer his phone.
Arthur
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He won't answer me either.
I think it's something to do with his mum though.
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I guessed that much.
I'm getting worried about him.
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You? Worried? About Francis?
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Gil! I'm being serious!
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Yeah I know I'm just trying to ease your mind.
I'm sure everything is fine.
He'll be back soon enough.
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Do you even believe anything you ever say?
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No but sometimes it helps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Francis, what happened? Why haven't you been answering your phone?
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Francis?
Please talk to me.
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If you don't want to write it down then we can talk after class.
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Say anything
I'm worried about you
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Just leave me alone.
~Francis
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Don't do this.
You can't just bottle it all up! We've talked about this already! I thought we'd agreed that you could trust me!
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I don't want to talk.
I don't want to meet after class.
I just want to grieve in peace, so leave me be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Talk to me.
Please?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stop avoiding me.
I want to help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss you.
Please Francis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuck you. Don't ever talk to me again.
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I only did it because I was worried about you.
~~~~
Well stop it. I don't need your pity.
And if you tell anybody else I'm not going to be the one lying dead in the ditch.
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I don't pity you Francis.
I care about you.
I just want to help you through this because god knows I needed it and I know you do too.
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Meet me after class?
I have something I want need to say.
~Francis
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Of course!
By the big tree?
Arthur
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Ok
~Francis
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Can I borrow your notes? I can't focus.
~Francis.
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We have a photocopier at my house, if you came over I could just copy them for you.
Arthur
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I didn't realize you were so smooth.
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Shut up, it was just an offer.
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An offer to use your photocopier, or for something else entirely?
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Another word and I'm keeping my notes to myself.
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I would very much like to accompany you to your house for 'photocopying', Arthur.
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Shut up.
Meet me in the car park, Seamus is driving us home.
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You're so dull.
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I've been told. Now let me focus, you need these notes as much as I do.
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You can't avoid me forever. I am going to keep passing you notes until you talk to me.
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Come on Arthur! It was just a kiss! It's not like I took your virginity!
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I thought we'd agreed to talk to each other?
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We can just forget about it if it bothers you that much.
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That's the
I'm not sure I
I don't know what I
It was
I can't just forget
I don't want to, but in truth I'm not entirely sure what I want.
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Well, do you want to talk about it later?
Under the big tree?
~~~~
Ok
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you want to skip second period? I don't feel up to it today.
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I am not skipping calculus just to canoodle with you in some dirty closet.
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Canoodle?
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Yes, canoodle.
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You're so cute.
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Shut up.
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You're blushing! Oh my goodness, I want to just pinch your little cheeks!
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I'm going to kill you.
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You wouldn't dare my dear.
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I would! And I'd dump your body in a ditch.
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You wouldn't even do something dramatic just for me?
Like leaving me in a plush hotel room, covering my body in flowers, and writing some kind of sadistic poem on the walls in my blood as the only clue of your identity.
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
This guy was an asshole,
Just trust me, it's true.
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You wound me.
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You wanted poetry.
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I wanted something romantic, but it seems as though that's beyond you.
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There once was a git born in England,
That strange old island Kingdom,
He met a git from France,
With whom he had no chance,
But soon found he was no longer single.
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You're an awful poet.
Who writes a romantic limerick?
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Tell you what, if you're going to be ungrateful, that's the last one you're getting.
~~~
No! I love it!
I think it's sweet, it's very you.
~~~~
Thanks.
~~~~
You're blushing again.
~~~~
Shut up. I'm not talking to you anymore.
~~~~
I still think we should skip second period.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This time I'm actually going to kill you.
~~~~
That's a little rash don't you think?
~~~~
No.
~~~~
We wouldn't have gotten caught if you were quieter
~~~~
Me? You sounded like a female porn star!
~~~~
It doesn't matter who was louder, the point is that I refuse to accept my early demise simply because we were having a rather lovely make out session in the third floor bathroom. If anything you should be thanking me.
~~~~
For what? Getting me horny and then stuck in in-school suspension?
~~~~
So I made you horny?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alfred found out about the whole snogging in the bathroom debacle.
I think he's going to kill you.
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Merde
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Are you ok?!?!
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No.
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What did he do?
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Your brother is crazy.
He just walked up to me, punched me in the face, said "Don't do it again." And walked away.
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I'm so sorry!
I'm going to give him a piece of my mind later!
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It's fine, really.
~~~~
I'll take you out tonight to make up for it.
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Big tree?
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I'll meet you there, think about what you want to do. My treat.
~~~~
Thank you.
I lov
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I heard the Vargas twins were having a party. Are you going?
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Only if you are.
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That's exactly what I was going to say.
~~~~
I'd rather stay at home and watch a film.
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Me too.
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My house is empty tonight.
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How empty?
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Completely. My father is working and my sister's going to that party.
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Brilliant.
~~~~
What does that mean?
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Nothing, I just wanted to have a night alone with you.
Is that a crime now?
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No. Not at all.
I just wondered why you were so excited about it?
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Forget I said anything.
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We're still on for tonight though?
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Of course, you tosser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your sister keeps looking at me strangely.
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Strangely?
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She keeps smirking at me and winking as we walk past each other in the halls.
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Oh, right.
She came home early from the party last night. It got busted apparently.
We both agree that you look adorable when you're sleeping.
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You can both shove it.
Why didn't you wake me up?
~~~~
You looked so peaceful.
~~~~
Don't go all mushy romantic on me now.
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I'm serious, you look so much better without that scowl on your face. You would have been thoroughly ravished had I not cared about waking you.
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I mean it! Just shut up about it.
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Ok grumpy-gills, I promise I won't talk about your cute little mumbling or the way your nose scrunches up like a little rabbit.
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I hate you.
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No you don't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think Alfred wants to shag Ivan.
~~~~
What are you talking about?
~~~~
Well, I don't know, but last night I was walking past the bathroom and I heard a shout, so I went to check whoever was in there was ok. I pressed my ear against the door and as I was about to knock I heard the shout again, but it was Alfred and he was saying Ivan's name, and I think he was wanking over him and I can't burn the image from my brain.
~~~~
Really?
I knew all that anger had to come from severe amounts of UST!
What made you think about it now?
~~~~
They were talking outside just now.
It reminded me.
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I think the bigger question is that in a house with 9 growing boys, it didn't even cross your mind that someone was masturbating in the bathroom.
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Shut it, he's my little brother. It's not something I'd consider.
~~~~
They have been together an awful lot recently...
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I think they've been bonding over Matthew and Iryna.
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Oh, did they finally get together?
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Didn't you notice the awkward hand holding?
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I'll have to be more observant in the future.
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It really doesn't take that much observation.
~~~~
It's easy to observe someone when you live in the same house as them.
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You didn't notice your sister was shagging that kid from Luxembourg for weeks!
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I thought 'that kid from Luxembourg' was dating Lilli.
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You think Vash lets Lilli date?
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Touché
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever tasted frog?
~~~~
Is this some poorly veiled joke about my nationality?
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Yes and no.
On the one hand I'm genuinely curious, and on the other I want to tell you that I haven't and that I REALLY want to know what it tastes like.
If you catch my drift...
~~~~
I can tell my sister to go to a friend's house tonight.
~~~~
She won't have to if we just skip last period history.
~~~~
What did you do with my Arthur?
Where's my stuffy, virginal, 'I can't possibly skip class to canoodle' Arthur?
~~~~
Yeah well Arthur wants to canoodle, so Arthur's skipping class.
Besides, if I have to hear anything else about King Henry the bloody Eighth I'm going to have to shoot somebody.
~~~~
I'll text Monique
~~~~
Is that a yes?
~~~
YES!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think I can take any more of your sister's bloody staring!
Does she do this to all of your partners?
~~~~
She's only doing this because I've never been with someone this long.
~~~~
We've only been together a month or so...
~~~~
I'm more of a
I've never really been
She says I have commitment issues.
~~~~
Do you?
~~~
Don't worry though, I'm not planning on breaking up with you anytime soon.
~~~~
Well that's reassuring.
~~~~
It's a complement. It means I care more about you than anyone else I've been with.
~~~~
Thanks...
I suppose...
~~~~
I mean it.
~~~~
I know you do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gilbert asked me how big your dick was earlier.
~~~~
What did you tell him?
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I told him it was tiny.
~~~~
Thank you.
~~~~
I only speak the truth my dear.
~~~~
Yeah?
Well guess what?
Your dick isn't getting any for a while.
~~~~
Sorry?
~~~~
Nice try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is that Natalia outside the window?
~~~~
I think so, yes.
It would explain why Ivan is as fucking far from the window as possible.
~~~~
But we're on the second floor...
~~~~
I'd noticed.
~~~~
How did she get up here?
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She's fucking looney! You seriously think the fact that we're on the second floor is going to stop her?
~~~~
I had hoped so...
~~~~
Well so did Ivan, but look at him, he's practically pissing himself.
~~~~
It's kind of funny.
~~~~
Alfred thinks so.
He's pissing himself for an entirely different reason.
~~~~
How's that going by the way?
Alfred and Ivan?
~~~~
Just wet dreams as far as I can tell.
Matt had Iryna around to meet mum and dad though. Al just spent the whole time sulking over the fact that he wasn't allowed in their room.
Don't do anything stupid.
~~~~
Like what?
~~~~
Trying to get them together or something equally imbecilic.
~~~~
I don't know what gave you the impression I would.
~~~~
Uh huh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guess what I just heard from Mattie!
~~~~
What is it Gil? I'm trying to take notes.
~~~~
Since when?
~~~~
Since now.
What do you want?
~~~~
He told me he just walked into the change rooms because he forgot his hockey stick or whatever and he saw Al and Ivan totally making out like massive tongue and everything up against the lockers he said they didn't even notice when he walked in they just kept going.
He didn't even get his stick he just got out of there as fast as fucking possible.
~~~~
Really?
~~~~
I'm serious! He said they were moaning each other's names and shit!
Would I lie to you?
~~~~
Have you told Liz?
~~~~
Are you kidding me?
If I do that I won't see her for for-fucking-ever she'll be too busy squealing and being creepy to spend any time with me.
~~~~
Good luck.
~~~~
I'll fucking need it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey Art.
We're having a triple date. You can't say no or I'll tell dad that you're fucking Francis.
AL
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Fuck you.
Arthur
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey Franny, we should totally have a triple date.
~~~~
With who?
~~~~
You and Art, Vanya and me, and Mattie and Irunya.
C'mon! It'll be so fun!
~~~~
I'll have to ask Arthur.
~~~~
Don't worry about it.
I already persuaded him.
~~~~
How?
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A small amount of blackmail concerning the fact that you two have been canoodling all over the place...
~~~~
Again with that word...
Is it a Saxon thing?
~~~~
Yeah, Dad uses it all the friggin time.
I think if he ever said anything mildly profane the world would end.
I'm seriously wondering if he's still a virgin.
I mean we're all adopted...
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Forget I asked.
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Is that a yes though?
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If Arthur's said yes then I don't see why not.
~~~~
Great!
Meet at our house at 5pm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're fucking useless!
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That seems a little strong don't you think?
~~~~
I was counting on you to get us out of that date!
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Sorry?
~~~~
Fucking
Forget it.
I don't even care anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love you
(It should be noted here, that the page is absolutely covered in a indecent number of hearts)
~~~~
Where did that come from?
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I just wanted to make sure you know.
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You're an idiot.
And don't you dare say that you're my idiot or any of that bollocks.
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But I'm your Idiot
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I hate you.
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You love me.
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I love you.
You utter pillok.
THE END