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Everyone thought he was happy.
No one saw past his charming smile, his sweet laugh, or his false happiness. Most only saw him for his careful touch, his calming voice, and his ability to always make you laugh. The boy really was the highlight of most people's days. He'd listen to those who wanted to talk to someone. He'd sit with those who felt left out or lonely. He'd comfort those who felt down. But who listened to him when he wanted to talk? Who sat with him when he felt left out or lonely? Who comforted him when he felt down? No one. Why? Because no one ever thought to think that their chosen one may feel lonely, left out, or even hurt.
No one ever thought it would come down to this though. Maybe losing their happiness will make them realize that they took his happiness, right? No. His act was out of pure selfishness, was careless, unintentional. That's how people bring about it. That how people bring about Harry Potter's suicide. Because he was happy, was perfectly fine, had no reason to kill himself. But that's not true. He wasn't happy, he was hurting on the inside, he had a reason to kill himself, but no one saw it. No one but one person at least. Draco Malfoy. His enemy? Yeah, right. Okay, but like, there's no lie in it. Draco was the only one who knew Harry for himself, not as the happy, perfect, caring boy, but as the broken, hurt, and scared boy.
Draco had found Harry at the top of the Astronomy Tower a few months ago, about to jump, when he pulled Harry into a tight, comforting embrace, reassuring him there's no need to jump. The blond let Harry rant to him that night. He told Draco about his abusive muggle family, his friends, his struggles, all of things Draco never knew Harry had, but he still listened to the boy. He understood Harry and comforted Harry in ways no other did, nor tried. It's safe to say Harry fell asleep in Draco's arms that night, and woke up, still in blonde's tight embrace. They continued to meet each other after that... not on the astronomy tower though, Draco didn't want to risk Harry jumping.
Though that never did stop Harry from jumping...
I'm pretty sure everyone remembers that day as if it were yesterday. It was during supper, while everyone was gathered in the Great Hall eating. No one took notice that a majority of the professors were absent from the head table. That Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Pansy Parkinson were absent. Everyone was too focused on their friends and food to notice. That was until the doors suddenly opened, revealing a group of terrified looking Professors; Professor Snape included. That's when realization hit Hermione. She leaned over the table to whisper something to Ron as the Professors made their way to their seats. "Hey, where's Harry?" she questioned in a hushed voice, trying to not bring attention to the matter. Ron only shrugged before he continued shoving food into his face, earning an eye roll from Hermione.
Moments later Dumbledore stood up, his loud voice booming through out the Great Hall, "we have recently been informed of an incident on the Astronomy Tower..." he started, but he looked to be struggling with his words. Professor McGonagall stood up next to him, putting her hand on the old man's shoulder, reassuring him that everything will be okay, though it looked like she needed to be convinced herself. Worry quickly spread throughout the hall, assumptions that someone had jumped shared among whispers. Professor Dumbledore took a deep breath before continuing, "a student of ours has jumped from the Astronomy Tower" a wave of gasps came, but some just listened in shook. Though Dumbledore hadn't announced the person, Hermione felt a gush of fear as Harry too was absent at the moment.
"We've decided to block off all accesses to the tower in the meantime. While we are still unsure of what actually happened and why it happened, we advise you to not go around speaking of this topic. We will be questioning a few students close to him shortly. Classes will be canceled until we figure this out" Dumbledore spoke before sitting down again, never once mentioning the person's name. Hermione couldn't help but feel awful. What if it really was Harry? But at the same time she believed he was happy, there was no need for him to do anything like that, right...?
She had no idea what she was talking about.
The initial shock was the worst. Many people had no idea who it could possibly be. Though they were just praying on it not being Harry. Many Gryffindors felt betrayed when they noticed his absence, but then noticed Malfoy's absence and felt better. The worst part was that they prayed Malfoy was the one who jumped. If Harry was there he'd be furious, upset, even annoyed. But he wasn't and he won't be. That's what hurt the most.
A few days later Professor Dumbledore finally announced who had jumped, which only made people even more scared by it all. It just didn't make any sense. He was happy, cheerful, not hurt, and depressed. At first, people cried, then it was just shock and wonder, but now it's hurt, the feeling of betrayal, anger. It was spread that he did it out of pure selfishness. Hermione got a good shouting out of that one. Ron was furious at them for saying such thing about his friend, but he couldn't help but wonder why he did it too. Ginny though... she stayed in bed for many days after the announcement. She didn't eat, sleep, anything. She only cried and sat there staring at the ceiling, wondering why Harry did this to her. Why he did this to them.
None of the 6th boys slept in their dorm after that either. They didn't want to remember that Harry was supposed to sleep there with them. That he was supposed to wake them up at ridiculous times thinking it was a weekday. That he was supposed to wake them up in the middle of the night just so he can say good morning. That he was supposed to throw pillows at them every time they woke up late. Not to mention that Harry was the reason they always started their day off good. AND his belongings still remained. Dumbledore said he wasn't sure what he wanted to do with them just yet.
It had been three weeks since Harry's sudden death. Hermione and Ron had convinced Ginny to start eating again, but she still looked really ill and I don't blame her. Her best friend just died. The only person who listened to her when she wanted to rant. The only person who made her smile when she felt down. Harry meant the world to Ginny. He was like a brother to her.
Though many felt Ginny was overreacting, Hermione and Ron understood her need to grieve. Her need to cry, to feel hurt, confused. They were the only ones who would understand how she felt as they were pretty close to the boy themselves. However, they often ignored Harry and left him out, not that they ever noticed.
Hermione, Ron and Ginny were sitting in the Gryffindor common room by the fire. Their week has been shit honestly. Classes still haven't started up, which Hermione really wanted to happened and this time not because she wanted to learn, but because she wanted to get her mind off of Harry's investigation that has been going around.
The Ministry has been in out of Hogwarts, questioning students and professors on Harry, asking about his mood, mental state, etc. They've come to the conclusion it really was out of pure selfishness and dropped the case temporarily. Though they don't have proof someone didn't push him instead. Some are living on that hope alone. Because they don't want to live knowing that Harry willing killed himself. That he left them like that, abandoned them, betrayed them.
Hermione stood up suddenly, "I want to talk to Dumbledore" she demanded to no one in particular, "I just don't understand why they would think Harry would do anything out of selfishness, it just doesn't make sense" she snapped, making Ginny jump slightly. "Sorry..." Hermione muttered silently, "It's just... it's been bothering me" she was shaking. Ron noticed it and grabbed her hand, "I know. It's been bugging me too, but we just have to live with it now" he sighed.
Ginny stood up and wrapped her arms around Hermione, tears falling from her eyes, "I don't like this feeling" she cried, "it hurts!" she tightened her grip on Hermione. Ron watched his sister break down again. By now, it was common. She'd say it hurts and then cry. Though they don't know exactly what hurts, they can't help but assume it's her heart that's hurting.
"He's gone, Hermione" she started, "he's actually gone" she was sobbing. It was too much. The feeling of her best friend never being there again. The feeling knowing that he left willingly. It really hurt. It pained Hermione and Ron as well, but they didn't show it that much. They had to be strong for Ginny. She needed someone right now and they had to be there for her. Ron walked over to his sister, pulling her into a tight embrace, "It's okay, Gin" he whispered, "it's normal to be hurting when you lose someone" he said, his voice in a soft, calming tone. But it wasn't as calming or as soft as Harry's.
Ginny shook her head, "it's not okay. It's not okay!" she exclaimed, pushing Ron off of her, "it was never okay, and it never will be!" she shouted, throwing her arms to the side dramatically. "I have to know what happened to him. Why he would want this. What the fuck was he going through that hurt him so much!" she demanded an answer, but no one was able to give it to her. No one knew to tell her. Only Harry would know and he's not here is he?
Hermione started shedding tears herself, "I know it hurts" she muttered, "I know it's difficult to picture Harry going through someone difficult. I was his friend too, we all were. He was the light of everyone's year and you can't deny it" her voice trembling, "I... don't like not knowing what happened to him. We can't be too certain he jumped, but if he did... I just... I don't... I don't understand. I don't think I ever will" she wiped her tears away with her sleeve. "If you want to come with me, feel free to, but I'm going to go talk to Dumbledore. He can't just have us sit around in question for ever. I need answers" and with that she left the common room, Ron and Ginny shortly after.
As they approached Dumbledore's office they saw Malfoy pacing in front of the entrance. He looked pretty dead if I'm going to be honest. He had dark bags under his eyes and looked like he hadn't eaten in weeks. "Malfoy" Ron spat, "what are you doing here?" he questioned coldly, but Malfoy ignored him and continued his pacing. He was shaking. Hermione saw it. "Ron don't be so harsh" Hermione bit. "Malfoy, what's wrong? You're shaking" she pointed out which caused him to stop and look at the three.
Hermione was taken back by his appearance. he didn't only have dark bags under his eyes, but they were really red and puffy as if he'd been crying. Malfoy shook his head before he started pacing again, "Dumbledore won't let anyone see him" he stated as he knew the three wanted to talk to the old man. "I already tried. Said he was busy with paper work" he finished in a rush. "Then why did you stay here?" Ginny asked suspiciously. Malfoy stopped to think about that question, "because I have something important to discuss with him" he said slowly, as if he was questioning whether to tell them or not.
As suspicious as that seems, Hermione knew he was nervous or scared about it. For Merlin's sake, he was shaking. "Is it about Harry?" she questioned but Malfoy ignored her and started pacing again. "You were absent from the Great Hall the day Harry jumped" Ron stated, which made Draco pause his pacing. "I was... I was with H-Harry... I" he stepped back shaking his head. He walked back up the stairs to Dumbledore's office, trying to get away from what he just said and the trio. He needed to talk to someone. Why wouldn't Dumbledore help him.
Ginny looked like she was ready to kill someone, while Ron looked confused, but annoyed. Hermione was just confused. "Think, Hermione, think" she said out loud, "that doesn't make any sense!" she groaned, grabbing at her hair as if it'll make her brain work. "Why was he with Harry!? What did he do to him..." she said the last part in a whisper. She groaned again before stomping up the stairs as well.
"Why are you so ignorant!?" Draco shouted at Dumbledore who was sitting at his desk, all calm. Draco looked furious, it scared Hermione slightly, not that she'd admit it. "He... he had something on him that night... give it to me!" he demanded, now he just had tears running down his face. he looked like a mess. Hermione felt bad for him for a second, before taking in what he said. Dumbledore closed his eyes, shaking his head, "the ministry has everything he had on him that night" he spoke calming. Draco shook his frantically, "no" he snapped, "you took it. I know you did! It belongs to me! He... he wanted to give it to me..." he cried.
Hermione, Ron, and Ginny shared confused looks, but continued to listen in on their conversation. "Draco Malfoy." Dumbledore finally snapped, his voice no longer calm, but held anger and hatred, "you were with Harry the night he jumped. Why don't you tell us what happened then, huh? Maybe then I'll rethink my choices on keeping a damn ring" he snapped. Draco shook his head, "what Harry and I did that night is none of your concern" he bit.
"Draco it is my concern when you were the last person seen with Harry the night he supposedly jumped off the Astronomy Tower at my school" Dumbledore shouted. "I didn't push him if that's what you're implying!" Draco shouted back. "Don't raise your voice at me young man!" Dumbledore spoke sternly. Hermione was tired of this and stepped in, "as headmaster, you have no rights in keeping one's belongings, nor do you have the right to force answers out of Draco without a legal guardians permission" Hermione explained sternly, as if she was in charge of Dumbledore.
It surprised her, but she didn't show it. Draco gave Hermione a grateful look before turning back to Dumbledore, "I'm the only person who can give information on Harry's death as I was the only person he told about his true feelings. And you won't be hearing any of it if you don't give me his damned ring!" he snapped. "You said it was yours" Dumbledore pointed out, but Draco sighed. "It's his... but he said... just give it to me" he muttered, clearly done with Dumbledore's shit.
Hermione put her hand on Draco's shoulder, "if Harry ever said he wanted Malfoy to have his ring, it means it's his once Harry dies. And he has died. So, if I understand this correctly, Harry promised Malfoy a ring and you stole it" she explained simply. Dumbledore glared at the two, "why would Harry promise Draco anything?" he questioned the girl. Hermione shook his head, "trust me, I know. If Malfoy here was just trying to get a hold of his ring, he wouldn't be so stressed about it. He wouldn't be crying or shaking" Hermione spoke softly.
Draco nodded slowly, "I'm not lying... please just give it to me... I don't have anything left..." he whispered, his voice cracking. Dumbledore sighed and stood up, grabbing a box from his desk. He walked around to the other side of his desk and stood in front of Draco, "I know..." he whispered, his voice back to his calm tone. He placed the box in the palm of Draco's hands. "I don't understand what you and Harry were to each other. I don't think I ever will understand. But I understand it a little more now than I did before. Please, when you're ready talk to us about it... we need to understand. Draco this is important matters right here" he spoke.
Draco shook his head, "don't try manipulating me into talking to you, it won't work" he bit before leaving. Hermione quickly ran after him, wanting answers. "Draco!" she called after the blond. He stopped, turning around to face Hermione, Ron and Ginny shortly behind her. "What's the ring?" she asked, looking at the box in Draco's hands. He quickly hid it in his pockets, "it was stupid honestly, but it meant a lot to him that I had it. I just... I didn't think he meant that he was going to go through with killing himself... " he looked up, trying to stop his tears from falling.
Hermione looked at the broken boy in front of her. She didn't know what he was talking about, nor did she understand what he mean by any of it. What he knew was a mystery to her. But she couldn't help but feel awful for him. She had a strong feeling the two were closer than it appeared. Draco looked down, finally letting his tears fall, he shook his head, wiping his eyes, "this is stupid" he muttered, "I'm sorry for your loss" he whispered, turning around before walking away, muttering something to himself.
Ron and Ginny looked just as confused as Hermione, but they were on a different level of confusion. No they had no idea what Draco meant by any of this, not even an assumption could form in their heads. Hermione turned to look at her friends once more, "I don't know what happened between him and Harry, but I will be the one to get to the bottom of this" she muttered walking in the direction of the Gryffindor common rooms, Ron and Ginny groaning about something before following her again.
Once they made it to the common room, Hermione headed straight to the boys dormitory, "Hermione that's our-" Ron started before he caught onto what Hermione was planning on doing. He quickly followed her into the dorm room, Ginny going to her own. The room was a mess. Clothes, books, belongings, everything was all over the place. But the boys haven't once stepped into their dormitory since the announcement of Harry being the one who jumped.
Hermione walked straight to Harry's bed. The only one that looked decently organized. "Hermione you're not going to-" he didn't need to finish for Hermione to know what he was talking about. "He's gone, Ron. It's not like he'll come back to yell at us for going through his things" she snapped before moving his pillows off his bed, reveling his wand and the Marauders Map. She picked them up, and handed them to Ron, "hold" was all she muttered before moving around his bed as if looking for something. She got onto the floor, looking under his bed. She pulled out three boxes, all of different sizes.
"He keeps his parchment and things under his bed, I remember that little" Ron thought out loud. Hermione nodded slowly, before opening the smallest box, which, as Ron said, was filled with parchment, quills, and ink. "These are some fancy quills..." Hermione muttered, shoving one into her robe pocket. Ron shrugged, not that Hermione noticed, "Harry has a lot of fancy things" he pointed out. Hermione ignored that statement on the most part and opened the next biggest box, which held his invisibility clock. She pulled it out of the box and laid it in Ron's arms, muttering, "hold". Ron rolled his eyes, "what am I? Your bag?!" he questioned, but he wasn't too bothered by it.
Hermione laughed quietly at her friend's comment before moving onto the biggest box. It wasn't too big, but it was defiantly bigger than the other too. Fancier too. While the others were just cardboard boxes, this one was wooden and had a lock, though the key was left in it. Hermione opened the box slowly, not sure what would be in it, but gasped when she saw. It wasn't anything bad, no, it was... heart warming in a sense.
There was a dead, dried up rose, a small dragon stuffed animal, a couple letters, a necklace, and a photo of two people holding hands with matching rings. She picked up the photo first, trying to figure out who's hands they were. She was only able to recognize Harry's hands. Tossing the photo onto the bed, it flipped over, revealing writing on the back; D.M + H.P with a heart beside it. "Do you know if Harry and Draco had any sort of... relationship?" Hermione asked, turning to Ron. "Harry never mentioned Malfoy, no" Hermione nodded, continuing to go through the box.
She picked up a letter that read "Harry" on the outside. She opened it, careful to not rip the delicate paper. She scanned the letter before showing it to Ron, "it's from Malfoy" she stated, "he has rather prominent handwriting" she added, reading the sweet, caring words over and over again, trying to make sense of it. It read;
Harry,
Someone once told me you were a happy, caring, sweet, loveable boy and I admit, I believed it. You played the roll so well, charming everyone with your smile. You're beautiful, bright smile. The smile I fell for. If I knew better, I would have noticed your cuts, your lack of apatite, your lack of sleep, the dark bags under your eyes, the slimness of your body. It's more prominent than you may think. But I was blinded by hatred. I believed you really were perfect, had the perfect family, friends, life. I was jealous.
I know you keep telling me you forgive me for all I've done, but for me, it's not enough. Meet me at our usual spot after dinner. Don't forget to eat and eat well, no excuses this time. I know you didn't eat lunch or breakfast.
You are beautiful and are loved,
Draco
Hermione felt her eyes start watering as she handed Ron the letter, "he... he cut h-himself?" Hermione cried. Ron dropped the letter in shock, "I... I never noticed..." Ron muttered, tears of his own threatening to fall. He picked up the letter rereading it one more time before handing it back to Hermione, "was Malfoy really the only one who knew of Harry's... condition?" he asked. Hermione only shrugged, not knowing the answer herself.
Ron put everything he was holding on Harry's bed before wrapping his arms around Hermione in a comforting way. "Hermione" he said sternly, pulling away, putting his hands on her shoulders, "you don't know everything, and it is okay to not know everything. Harry decided to keep it a secret and there's nothing you can do about it now. Living with regrets is something Harry would have never wanted. Don't do this to yourself" he shook her slightly, but not harshly.
Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes, "you know what, you're right. I'm sorry" her voice was trembling, but she tried to come to reason with this. It was a really hard topic for her. Not knowing something. Especially something important like this. Hermione took a deep breath before picking up the necklace from the box. It was a snake wrapped around a lion with Harry James Potter engraved into the bottom. "This is fascinating..." Hermione whispered, pulling the necklace over her head, tucking it underneath her shirt.
Ron picked up the stuffed dragon, "this is cute" he stated, flipping it over, looking for the tag. "To Harry..." he read out loud, "hmm, must be from someone" he shrugged, tossing it on the bed, it landing on top of the invisibility cloak. Hermione sighed, "I'm too tired to do this right now, but I think we need to ask Malfoy a few questions..." she said, flopping onto Harry's bed. "He knows more than we do by the sounds of this. I want to know more. I'll feel better if I knew more..." she whispered.
The red head sighed, sitting down beside Hermione, "I think we'd all feel better if we knew more" he smiled half-heartedly, "I don't think I'll ever understand, I just want to know, so I can try to come to sense with it" he trailed off. "It's a hard topic for most people" Hermione spoke, "all the signs of him being depressed... they're not obvious" she looked at Ron, tears in her eyes, "but he lost so... so much and still acted happy. When you think about it... it really doesn't make any sense" she was playing with her hands, "Sirius died last year. His parents were murdered. What else did he have? We certainly weren't there for him..." she finally cried.
Ron shook his head, "no" he said, "no. He didn't show any signs of needing help. Of needing someone. He... he didn't want us to be there for him. If he did, he would have talked to us" he said, so certain of himself. Hermione disagreed, "I don't think he would though" she said, looking out the window, it was dark outside. "Any one could want comfort, reassurance, someone to listen to them. But not everyone will willingly talk about their issues like that. I mean sure, he should have, but it's not easy... I" she paused, "sorry" she shook her head lightly, "I don't know what I'm talking about" she lied.
Hermione knew what she was talking about, but she was just too tired to think more of it. It's been a really stressing week and talking about depression really wasn't going to be it for her. She stood up, "I think I'm going to head to bed, you should get rest too" she said silently before exiting the 6th year boys' dormitory leaving a confused red head.
Ron sighed, still sat on Harry's bed. He moved his hands through the sheets as if there was supposed to be something there. And there was. Harry. Ron was pretty oblivious when it came to people's emotions and personal life, and at the moment, he really hated himself for it. He wished nothing more for his best mate to sit next to him and laugh at a stupid joke, or throw a pillow at him. He wished... he wished Harry was still with him.
I mean, sure, their friendship fell apart in the past couple of years, but they never did dare mention it. The awkward moments. The dry conversations. Ron took their friendship for granted and it's entirely his fault. He knows that little. If only he tried harder to understand how Harry felt about being the Chosen One. How Harry felt about his parents being murdered. Sirius being murdered. And Ron believed there was only one person who knew.
He quickly threw everything into the box and ran out the door, into the common room. "Ginny!" Ron called over to his sister who was now sitting on the couch in front of the fire. "I have to talk to Malfoy, I need to know" and with that he ran out the portrait hole, pulling the marauders' map from the box. Fuck, Hermione probably wanted to talk to Malfoy too, Ron thought, but quickly pushed it aside, no, I need to understand something first. Something Hermione probably knows already and won't have to ask Malfoy.
Ron went straight to the Slytherin common room. Knocking on the portrait, Pansy opened it, giving Ron a glare, "what do you want, Weasel" she spat, stepping outside the portrait, closing it behind her. "I want to speak to Malfoy" he muttered, but Pansy understood him perfectly. "Malfoy?" she was surprised nonetheless, but let Ron enter the Slytherin common room. The only people in the room other than Pansy was Draco and Blaise.
Ron walked over to the two hesitantly. Getting straight to the point, he pulled out the letter and picture from the box and tossed it onto the table in front of Draco and Blaise, crossing his arms. Blaise looked at Ron skeptically before picking up the letter and picture, taking in every detail and word. He showed it to Draco, who snatched the letter from his hands, looking like he was going to be sick.
Pansy noticed right away and sat next to Draco, rubbing circles into his back. She knew of course. About he and Harry's... whatever they had. "Why do you have these?" Draco managed to ask, holding back obvious tears. Ron didn't answer though, he only looked at the ground, as if he was expecting something. But he wasn't. He didn't know what to say. "Weasley, what do you want with Draco?" Pansy suddenly asked which got Ron's attention.
"I..." he started but he didn't know what to say honestly. He had a slightly idea of what to say before he came here, but now that he saw Malfoy in person, he didn't think he can. The boy looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in weeks. He was far too slim for his usual self, and had dark bags under his eyes. His eyes that were also red and puffy as if he'd been crying. "I'm sorry" he turned to the door, walking away.
"Weasley" Draco called after him, but Ron ignored him, exiting the portrait. Eventually Draco caught up with him, grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to turn to face him. Draco had tears in his eyes this time, and Ron didn't know why, but he felt awful. Draco, Harry's enemy, seemed more affected by Harry's death than, Ron, his best friend did. "Weasley please... I need to know where you found these..." Draco whispered, tears falling from his eyes to the ground below them.
Ron looked at Draco for any sign of him pretending to care. For any sign of pretending to cry. But he couldn't find one. Plus they were just in a box, why would Draco need to know? "In this box under Harry's bed" he muttered, showing Draco the box he was holding which made the Slytherin smile. It almost made Ron want to smile himself, but he reminded who it was. "He didn't get rid of them..." Draco whispered to himself.
Ron put his hand on Draco's arms, "what was Harry to you?" he questioned, his voice just above a whisper. Draco looked at Ron for what seemed like many minutes before frowning, "he was a good friend" he said softly, his voice cracking slightly. Ron shook his head, not believing a single word Draco just said, "you couldn't have just been friends" Draco chuckled at that statement, "I mean, fuck, you have matching rings. You sent him love letters, Malfoy he couldn't have just been a friend to you... it just doesn't make sense" he trailed off.
Draco smiled weakly, "Weasley not everything makes sense" he chuckled slightly, but it sounded more forced than anything. "Trust me when I say this, but he only liked me a friend, no matter how much it hurts to say..." he whispered the last part, but Ron heard it clearly. "Say Malfoy, were you in love with Harry Potter?" he questioned in a joking way, but was surprised when Malfoy agreed, "I was actually... I still am..." he looked down at his shoes. "Why didn't he like you?" Ron stupidly asked.
Draco rolled his eyes, " as stupid as that sounds, I wish I knew myself..." he muttered, "but he went through a lot. More than he could handle... Merlin, why am I telling you this... he told me he couldn't love me no matter how hard he tried" and he was crying again. Ron sighed, "Malfoy, as much as I hate you, I absolutely hate that you're crying right now... I hate that you're hurt... I... I'm really sorry... I don't know if I can... please... talk to me when you're feeling better" Ron smiled weakly at Malfoy before leaving.
The truth is, seeing Malfoy more broken than him by his best friend's death just didn't settle well with him. And he hopes Malfoy will understand that too. It also wasn't just the fact he was more broken, but the fact he admitted to loving Harry, not liking, but loving. It was too much for Ron's small brain to take in at once. Maybe in the future, but not right now.
Sadly, Ron hadn't gotten sleep that night. His mind was preoccupied with Malfoy. Something just didn't click with him the previous night. Something he said... Something he did... But Ron was clueless. He didn't know what it was that he tried so hard to remember.
The redhead laid on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room, his friends spread around him, snoring. Suddenly, foot steps could be heard, approaching him. Unsure of who it may be, Ron quickly sat up, searching for his wand. The darkness of the room making it hard to see. "Ron, it's us" a voice whispered over to him, "Hermione" it added in an annoyed tone.
Ron casted a quick lumos before standing up, "what're you doing here?" he asked quickly, looking over to his friends who remained asleep. "Ron, this is the common room, we're allowed to be here" Hermione sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah" Ginny yawned, still tired as it was 5 in the morning. "Then why are you up so early?" Ron questioned his friends skeptically.
"The Slytherins normally eat around this time, I was hoping to talk to Draco during breakfast" Hermione explained, Ginny tiredly nodding in agreement. Knowing Hermione, she probably woke Ginny up so she can tag along with this 'mission'. Ginny was exhausted though, and Ron knew that. Hermione shouldn't have woken her up, Ron thought, but dismissed it, "I'll come too" he muttered, throwing his robes on over his pajamas.
Hermione clicked her tongue, shaking her head in disapproval, but decided to exit the common room, Ron and Ginny, tiredly, following shortly behind. They slowly made their way to the Great Hall, silently talking among themselves. When they rounded the entrance of the Great Hall, Ron had the sudden urge to do something and so he did.
He grabbed Hermione's arm firmly, pulling her to the side, Hermione was going to tell him to stop playing around, but she noticed his serious face. "Oh" she whispered to herself, before pulling her arm out of Ron's grip, waiting patiently for Ron to speak. "Hermione, I... I talked to Malfoy last night..." he whispered, flinching, expecting Hermione to get mad at him and hit him, but she never did. "Alright?" she said, ore in a question form.
The red head sighed, looking over to the entrance where Ginny was sleepily standing, leaning against the door. "Please be careful on Malfoy" he started, Hermione giving him a confused, skeptical look, "he's not the in right mindset, he's vulnerable and he doesn't know what he's saying... please... just trust me on this one" he spoke seriously, surprising himself and Hermione.
She smiled weakly, nodding, "I promise. I'm only going to ask him a few questions" she reassured, pulling Ron with her into the Great Hall, Ginny trudging behind them. They quickly found Malfoy, sat at the Slytherin table surrounded by Pansy and Blaise, who seemed to be trying to get the blond to eat and or wake up. The three Gryffindors sat down across from them grabbing their attention.
The rest of the Slytherins were at the opposite end of the table thankfully. "Granger?" Pansy questioned as if it wasn't Hermione. For the record, Pansy and Hermione have been in a mutual friendship ever since they started studying together. Not that Ron or Ginny knew that. "Do you need anything? It's a bit early for you to be awake" she said eyeing the three.
Ginny nodded, yawning again, "Hermione woke us up" she said absentmindedly. Ron shook his head, "I couldn't sleep last night" he admitted. "Oh... why?" Pansy asked looking at Ron as if she actually cared. I mean, she did slightly, everyone was pretty vulnerable at the moment. He glanced at Malfoy then back at Pansy and she gave a small smile as if she understood. "He's alright, don't worry about him" she said enthusiastically, wrapping her arm around the blonds shoulder, pulling him closer to her, but let go quickly.
"I mean, he's a bit out of it" she frowned, "he says he's okay, but he... he's just... not, honestly... I just... I just wish everything could be normal again... but how does one wish for something to be again, when it was never" Hermione looked up from her hands, that she didn't know she was intently staring at. She locked eyes with Pansy and smiled at her softly, "you don't" she said simply, but honestly.
Pansy broke at that, tears falling from her eyes, but they were tears of hurt. They were just tears. No meaning behind them... right? She smiled brightly, "It was... it wasn't" she corrected, "ever normal" she stated looking at Draco who was pushing around his food, "Draco... he grew up alone in the manor, he was an only child, he thought... he believed he liked it since his parents would always spoil him... but they gave him their wealth not their love" she explained.
Hermione frowned at her words, slowly, she reached out a took Draco's hand in hers, "y'know..." looking at Pansy, "those lucky enough to grow up in a perfect family... they don't exist" she said simply, letting go of Draco's hand, but he didn't both to move it where it was before. He looked exhausted, dead, sad...
Hermione smiled at him but he didn't notice, "it's a shame we take out life for granted" she said which seemed to be it for Draco. He looked at her, hurt and confusion in his eyes. He looked like he was going to say something, but Pansy stopped him by putting her hand on his arm, "we do take our life for granted" she repeated, agreeing with Hermione, she looked at Ron, then back to Hermione, now glaring at her, "but it's also a shame we take our friends' lives for granted too" she added.
Ron gulped, "you can't be..." he paused, looking at Malfoy then back at Pansy, "you're blaming him aren't you..." he couldn't believe what he's hearing. The others seemed to have no idea what they were talking about, which was a surprise since Ron did. "You're blaming him" Ron repeated, wanting Pansy to say she wasn't.
She shook her head, softly chuckling to herself, "I'm not saying he's in the wrong" she spoke firmly, "I am saying he knew and didn't do anything" she snapped. Ron gritted his teeth, but Hermione put her hand on his shoulder, calming him down a little. "Explain" Hermione demanded. Ron glared at Pansy, "Pansy is blaming Malfoy for Harry's death, if I'm wrong?" he said and Pansy looked completed take aback.
"That's not what I meant at all!" she bit, "I was talking about him not confessing to Harry. What the fuck, Ronald!" she slapped him from across the table. Malfoy looked at Pansy with sad eyes, which made everyone feel rather depressed. Ron frowned, "sorry" he muttered, and Pansy nodded towards him, accepting his apology. Malfoy opened his mouth to speak but then stopped himself, instead he let out a sigh and stood up. "I'm going to go now..." he muttered, before exiting the hall.
Pansy frowned, tears welling up in her eyes again, "I was saying earlier that he was often spoiled..." she recalled, "but when... when he started his third year, his father... he started taking things... his life..." she let a tear fall. Blaise moved over to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, "since then he was pretty out of it, but this year... he got... he got the y'know..." she leaned over the table, "the Dark Mark" she whispered.
The three Gryffindors let out a gasp, but didn't say anything rude against it, "no, he didn't want to get it, but Harry fucking Potter convinced him to" she said earning confused and disgusted looking by the three. "Harry... he... he didn't want Draco to get the mark, specifically, he knew how much worse it would be for Draco... if he didn't..." she explained.
Hermione nodded, "but... when did this all happen...?" she questioned. Pansy frowned, "not too long ago" she admitted, "about three, four months ago, Draco... he found Harry on the Astronomy Tower... he... Harry was about to... j-jump..." she looked up, trying to stop her tears from falling. "I mean, Draco never told Harry this, but he had gone up there to do the same" her voice cracked. "They talked about it and honestly, I'm surprise them didn't decide to jump... together... Draco..." she stood up suddenly. "Blaise! We let Draco leave!" Hermione, Ron, and Ginny jumped up in shock, not knowing what was going on.
"Fuck" Blaise muttered before running out of the Great Hall, leaving the four. Pansy looked in a rush to leave but she didn't, "look, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention..." she frowned, "we just... we're scared he's going to try to... kill himself..." she explained. "I just... I found... cuts on his... over his... mark..." she closed her eyes, "Harry convinced him it was the safest option and Draco... he had only gotten it because of Harry... and I think now that Harry's gone... he doesn't..." she trailed off, opening her eyes.
Hermione smiled, "Harry is gone" she pointed out the obvious, "and we have to accept that... it's what he wanted" she spoke softly. Ron shook his head, "we don't know what he wanted" he stated before looking at Pansy, "Malfoy does" he stated.
Thankfully, killing himself, wasn't on Malfoy's mind. He ran right to Professor Dumbledore once he got out of sight of his friends. I mean sure, they were only trying to protect him, but he sure as hell thought it were annoying. Having 'body guards' following him everywhere.
"Mr. Malfoy" Professor Dumbledore greeted at the sight of the blond. Draco nodded towards the headmaster before sitting down in a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. Fidgeting with the ring on his right ring finger, he looked around his office, "so..." he started awkwardly. "Mr. Malfoy is there is anything you wish to tell me? If so, speak now. I have important things to get to" the Headmaster rushed. He had his hands folded in front of him, a huge stack of paper work beside him, and a box. A mysterious box at that.
"I would like to speak for Harry and say that he..." Draco paused, looking down to his hands. He was shaking. Taking in a deep breath, "he didn't want anything to do with this. With you. The war" he stated quietly, but loud enough to be heard. Dumbledore smiled at Draco, and it scared the blond, not that he was going to say that. "Draco now is not the time to defend yourself" he was still smiling. "Before the ministry comes to arrest you, please admit you convinced Harry to kill himself in some way" Dumbledore paused to look at the shook in Draco's expression, "it will make it easier on all of us" he continued.
"You see, I know you had some sort of relationship with Harry. Friends or more, I don't care. And I don't understand it in the least. But you're... you're... never mind that... you're the only one we can blame so it is you we must arrest" he explained causing Draco to stand up abruptly, "what the fuck, Professor!" he shouted. "Language!" Dumbledore shouted back, standing up, slamming his hand on his desk. Draco shook his head, "no" he said sternly, "you cannot arrest me just because there is no one else to blame. Professor, I loved Harry I would never... I would never have wanted him to die..." he frowned, "I didn't kill Harry... I... I was... I-I saw... I-I saw him jump... he...I... um" he stumbled over his words, making them less believable.
"Draco Malfoy be honest, you killed Harry Potter" Dumbledore stated, picking up a stack of papers before putting them back down for no reason what so ever. Draco nodded, "you see, Professor. I didn't do shit and you. You insisting that I killed Harry Potter... well that's just suspicious yourself" Malfoy bit before exiting his office.
"Draco, you know we care about you" Blaise started in an unsure tone, fidgeting with his fingers. The two had finally settled in an abandoned classroom, Draco sitting on a desk, swinging his legs back and forth and Blaise sitting on the floor beside the blond. "I know you care about me, I don't know why though" Draco muttered in response. "Come on, you do too know" Blaise insisted, "you're out friend" he pointed out, "and we care about our friends" he sighed.
Nodding slowly, "I know we... us Slytherins care about our friends or what not, but it's also about if we care. Now, I know you, you are my friend after all, but you... you don't care about much. So tell me, do you actually care about me, or are you just... followings Pansy's orders? Faking it? Is this some game to you?" he looked Blaise in the eyes, looking for a sign of a mask. Sighing, Blaise looked away from Draco, "I know, Malfoy. I know. I..." he wiped his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, "I know myself too" he whispered, "Pansy is... is rather convincing. I mean, she made sure I watch after you, but I want to, okay? I want to make sure you're okay. I want you to be safe. I care about you, Malfoy."
"Like I don't have faith in you, Zabini" the blond scoffed. "I trust your words" he added, nudging Blaise's shoulder with his leg. Just then, Pansy slammed the door open, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the two boys. "There you two are" she huffed, placing his hands on her knees, out of breath. "I was just starting to get worried" she muttered, Blaise and Draco bursting out into laughter. "Pansy? Getting worried? That's unbelievable!" Draco giggled.
Glaring at the laughing boys, "I do too worry. All the time!" she huffed, standing up straight. Draco shook his head, a small smile lingering on his face. "I know" he said, "I know you worry" he corrected. "So... what were you two talking about?" Pansy asked with a smirk on her face, walking over to the two. Blaise chuckled lightly at the question, "not much" he responded blandly, "Draco was just doubting my words" he joked, earning a slap in the back of the head from a certain blond. "I trust your words!" Draco stated, "I just don't trust Pansy" he huffed.
"I am very trustworthy, for you information" Pansy huffed, crossing her arms, "I've never spoken a lie" she added. "There's one right there" Draco pointed out, "but it's not like that" he said, changing the mood, "you often bribe people to do what you want" he stated, "you just... never know" his voice was soft, but it had a meaning behind it. "...I know" Pansy admitted.