Chapter Text
It was the morning of the 31st July, and it was an understatement to say that Ash was nervous. With his legs crossed, back straight and stomach tied in knots, he watched as his phone lit up from where it lay in front of him. The skin of his left ring finger was beginning to redden from his incessant twirling of the thin silver band that lay there, but Ash paid no attention, his mind elsewhere.
With the reflexes of a cat, Ash picked up the phone immediately upon seeing the notification. To his dismay, it read:
‘I’m sorry, love. Lots of prep this morning. I wish I could see you, that always helps the nerves. I’ll be looking for you in the crowd. 愛してる <3’
Ash threw himself back onto the bed, legs remaining crossed. He gripped the phone in his palm and closed his eyes, disappointment rising up within him. Realistically, he had expected this answer to his request to see Eiji before the competition. It was logical to assume that the athletes would be exceptionally busy prior to an event; they had been busy since their arrival in Tokyo.
Between extra training, press conferences with both Japanese and international media and socialisation with fellow athletes, Eiji had very little time to spend with Ash. He had warned Ash of this, while back in Izumo.
“You have come so very far Ash, and I can’t tell you how proud of you I am. I just worry that you will find this very overwhelming. I’m perfectly happy with you staying at home, if that is what you want. I want you to be comfortable,” Eiji had said months prior to the event, with his hand cascading through Ash’s hair.
Ash turned his head from where it lay in Eiji’s lap, gazing up into his eyes. “I’m not gonna sit at home for three weeks while my fiancé is making history at the Olympics. I want to see you in action for myself, not on a TV screen. I’m going.”
Eiji smiled fondly, only nodding as a way of a response. Ash had made his decision.
Ash was self-aware enough to admit that, with the assistance of a highly qualified trauma therapist, he had improved greatly. After a decade subject to horrific abuse (Dr. Watanabe spent an entire year convincing Ash that it was, in fact, abuse) , alongside years of maintaining a terrifying reputation among the New York gangs, Ash had come to forget how to interact with ‘normal’ people.
After moving to Izumo with Eiji, it had taken Ash months to prevent himself from instantaneously reaching for a gun whenever he would anticipate a threat. It took even longer for him to become accustomed to not needing to carry concealed weapons with him for self-defence; not requiring self-defence. Five years later, Ash still caught himself anticipating an attack.
Dr. Watanabe had worked tirelessly to help Ash reach a point where he would no longer automatically resort back to his violent tendencies whenever someone would initiate physical contact. Unexpected touch was still not readily welcomed, and could still trigger a visceral reaction within Ash, but Dr. Watanabe deemed this natural, and had informed Ash that it was possible that he may never reach the point of accepting physical touch from those he does not entirely trust.
Ash, encouraged by Eiji’s unwavering support, began to recognise situations where he would withdraw from socialisation. With Dr. Watanabe’s guidance surrounding typical human interaction, he had slowly begun to build a rapport with local shopkeepers and neighbours.
Therefore, Ash had reason to believe that, although being surrounded by thousands of strangers would be mentally challenging, he would be able to soldier through the weeks with little to no issues.
He was wrong.
He hadn’t predicted how intensely the noises would affect him. Several mimicked the harsh sound of a gun firing, and the excitable screams of athletic supporters brought about flashbacks of agonising outcries of painful deaths, caused by Ash’s own hand. It took an immense amount of self-restraint and the practice of grounding techniques to prevent Ash from escaping to his hotel room and retreating to a corner of the room to curl up into a ball and clutch at his head, with his hands covering his ears.
Despite the months of hard work, whenever someone contacted him to enquire about whom he was accompanying, his heart would pound and his mind would become consumed with suspicion. On occasion, he would be approached from behind. His shoulder would be tapped, or a hand would be extended with the gesture to shake hands. While Ash could detect no malicious intent, it did not stop the anxiety from sparking deep within his gut.
Apparently, no amount of trauma therapy could undo the behaviours ingrained into Ash. More than Ash would like to admit, he found himself going through the motions to smack away the hands as they reached for him. To Ash’s relief, he caught himself before he could do any damage, and would politely excuse himself so that he could run to the closest restroom and subsequently hide there for the next thirty minutes. It would not bode well for the reputation of not only his fiancé, but the whole Japanese team, if Ash was seen to be abusing fellow Olympic families, or hyperventilating over the slightest of touches (which, to Ash, was worse than inflicting pain; it was incredibly embarrassing to be 23 years old and incapable of holding a conversation).
Ash did not allow himself to regret attending, for this was for Eiji’s sake. His darling Eiji, who had gone to great lengths to ensure Ash would feel comfortable. Eiji, who had spent weeks upon weeks pleading with (and, if Ash were honest, blackmailing) his coach to allow him to accompany Ash in attending the accreditation centre, because he had noticed Ash’s nerves regarding the validation of his PVC and OIAC ( because of course he had, that man acknowledges any fluctuation in Ash’s mood).
Eiji had also made sure that he would be able to see Ash as often as possible, while partaking in the Olympics.
“It’s the Olympics, Eiji. You have more important things to do than seeing me,” Ash mumbled into Eiji’s neck.
They stood outside the Olympic Family Hotel following the opening ceremony, Eiji holding Ash tightly in his arms and rocking him gently from side-to-side.
“Yes, the Olympics are important. But you are my life, Ash. Anyway, I’m not going to pretend that this is entirely selfless. I wanted to see you. I missed you.”
Ash smiled into Eiji’s neck, “It’s been two days. How are you going to survive three weeks of barely seeing me?” Ash laughed half-heartedly. “How am I?” He whispered.
“I will see you as much as possible. You are my good luck charm, after all,” Eiji said jokingly before gently kissing Ash’s temple. Ash rolled his eyes, but the smile remained.
Eiji had kept that promise, to the best of his ability. Whether it be for five minutes after a training session, or for a couple of hours in the Olympic Village, Ash had been able to see Eiji five times since they had arrived in Tokyo on the 21st, and he had cherished every stolen moment, no matter how fleeting.
Ash should have learned by now that Eiji’s expression of love had no bounds. One evening, alone in his hotel room and missing Eiji dearly, Ash watched as Eiji personally thanked Ash for his ongoing support throughout Eiji’s Olympic journey, referring to Ash as his fiancé and subsequently announcing their engagement internationally.
Eiji was an incredibly intelligent man, and he had made that statement knowing that he would receive backlash from hundreds upon thousands of viewers. Ash acknowledged that Eiji had made the conscious decision to make his declaration simply out of adoration for his significant other, leaving Ash flustered.
Although, Ash couldn’t entirely tell whether the butterflies in his stomach were out of admiration or fear.
Nevertheless, Ash couldn’t be prouder than Eiji and how far he had come. That young man seeking adventure following a near-detrimental injury that had instantly captured Ash’s heart was now struck with Olympic stardom. Ash had been there through every achievement and every downfall. He watched as Eiji skipped through the threshold, with a grin plastered across his face, following a day of consistently beating his personal best. He had also held Eiji as he curled in on himself and cried himself to sleep after spraining his wrist and being unable to attend practice. Through years of hard work, he had achieved what he had dreamt of for years. He had taken on the pressure of representing the whole country with aggressive optimism, as he did with most things in life (counterbalancing Ash’s general tendency to be pessimistic).
Ash was honoured to call himself Eiji’s. It was so incredibly rewarding to see how far they had come, and how much they had grown, together.
Restless and anxious to arrive on time, Ash caught the first available shuttle bus to the Olympic Stadium. Ash thought it ridiculous, his jittery state, for it was not he who would be competing in front of the whole World. Even the playlist that Eiji had constructed for him, for the very purpose of calming Ash down, was having little effect.
For the umpteenth time that week, Ash was grateful that the Olympics were being held in Tokyo. Through daily exposure to the language, along with Eiji’s tutoring, It hadn’t taken long for Ash to learn Japanese. Be that as it may, Ash pointed out to Eiji on several occasions that it would have taken even less time had Eiji not been insistent on using English at home; reasoning that Ash was required to communicate in Japanese in every other instance, so it was only fair for him to be given a break while in the comfort of his own home. Ash deemed this unnecessary, but it was a losing battle, for Eiji could be rather stubborn when he wanted to be.
Granted with the gift of fluency, Ash was able to locate the Olympic Family Lounge after one swift conversation with a staff member; not having to waste time locating signage. His punctuality had allowed for Ash to arrive before the opening of the lounge, providing him with complete control over where he sat. Floor-to-ceiling glass panels encased the lounge, allowing a clear view of the stadium. A balcony, situated through large double doors, held a single row of chairs for those wishing for a more high-definition view, which Ash immediately beelined towards upon the opening of the lounge.
As 09:40 grew nearer, Ash’s nerves grew exponentially. To Ash’s relief, he did not have to wait long for Eiji’s turn; something Ash momentarily felt guilty for thinking. It would be incorrect to state that Ash wasn’t invested in the other athletes, because of course he was. They were all incredible, but they were not who Ash had come here for.
A kind-natured woman of middle-age came to sit beside Ash, snatching him away from the contentment of his own company.
“I hope you don’t mind if I sit here, dear,” she said, in what Ash recognised as a Northern English accent.
Ash shook his head, offering a gentle smile. “Of course not.”
The woman flashed him a toothy grin, before glancing down at Ash’s hands, where he had returned to fiddling with his ring.
“Are you here for the American team?”
“Ah, no, actually. My… My partner Eiji, he's on the Japanese team,” Ash responded, not making eye contact.
“Oh! Sorry my love, I shouldn’t have assumed based on your accent. I’m Harry’s mother, he’s representing the UK.”
“S’alright, it’s a natural thing to assume. Good luck to you, and Harry.”
“Thank you, sweet. The same to you and your, Ay-jee, was it?”
Ash didn’t bother to correct her pronunciation.
(Ash made a mental note that Northern English women seemed to be overly friendly, and had a tendency to slip in a few-too-many terms of endearment when speaking to strangers; a stark difference to the women he met in New York).
After what felt like a millennia, the event started. When Eiji’s name was announced over the tannoy, Ash moved to the edge of his seat and held onto the cold metal safety bar with a white-knuckle grip. The woman seemed to perk up slightly, appearing slightly more invested in Eiji’s performance than she had for the previous athletes.
As Eiji lined up, his eyes drifted up to the lounge. Unable to be certain from this distance, Ash pretended for his own sanity that Eiji had been able to distinguish between Ash and the hundreds of people seated below him.
Eiji took a deep breath, and ran.
Ash watched as Eiji soared, clearing the first height with practiced ease. Eiji’s ability to become one with the sky had never ceased to amaze Ash; from that fateful day in New York where Eiji had risked further injury (and quite frankly, his life), to hours of gruelling practice, to flying at the Olympics.
Ash was regretful to even blink out of fear of missing something. Eiji was beautiful, as he always is, but the sheer grace at which he cut through the air took Ash’s breath away. Ash could only describe Eiji as celestial as he sailed towards the heavens, which was the only fitting analogy for Ash’s saviour, his angel. It was as though the sky was where Eiji was destined to be; where he belonged. Ash could feel his heart pounding in his chest, unadulterated admiration and unquestionable love coursing through his veins.
In his mind, one thought stood out among the rest: ‘I am undeniably in love with him’.
As Eiji cleared the final, qualifying height of 5.75 metres, Ash jumped out of his seat, unable to contain his glee. “Fuck yeah!” He exclaimed, earning a quiet titter from his right.
As the qualifiers were announced, Harry’s mother turned to Ash with a gracious expression and no ounce of inauthenticity. “Congratulations. I bet you’re so proud of him.”
“Thank you. I am,” Ash responded, beaming.
Ash broke out into a full-speed sprint the moment he spotted Eiji walking towards him, uncaring of who may be watching. Without hesitation, he scooped Eiji up into his arms, lifting him up off of the ground and spinning him. Eiji clutched at Ash’s shoulders, his laughter blessing the late-afternoon, as magnificent as a songbird’s calling.
“A-Ash!” Eiji managed through his giggles, as he returned to the ground.
“You were amazing! Fuck, Eiji,” Ash gripped onto his fiancé, holding him close, “You’re perfect.”
Eiji pulled back slightly, only to cradle Ash’s face in his hands. His smile was the most stunning thing Ash had ever seen.
“Thank you, darling.”
As Ash looked fixedly into Eiji’s eyes, he found himself considering how everything about Eiji was captivating. His deep, golden-brown eyes would express every emotion that Eiji was unable to speak into existence, and the dimple that would form in his left cheek when he smiled brightly remained as adorable as the day Ash noticed it. The way Eiji held Ash with so much love, and so much conviction, as if he was expecting every moment with Ash to be his last. How he provided Ash with a sense of safety, although Eiji had proved himself able to shoot a man if the situation called for it. His sarcastic retorts, the way he organises cutlery; Ash did not have enough time in the day to address every aspect of Eiji that made Ash fall deeper in love with him every single day.
Eiji is complex, unpredictable, and absolutely exceptional in every conceivable way. Ash thanked every star in the sky that this was the man he was going to spend the rest of his life with.