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It was a place for those with their lungs full of water, a place where roses with blood stained and wilted petals can fully decay, a place for those whose minds scream so loudly but the words never reach their lips. It’s a special place for people who cannot release their stressors to be in. Those who know repression may be familiar with where the youngest demon brother was at right now. He may look as if he’s at peace, but his mind has created a special torture chamber just for him and him alone. His nightmare only began to read clearly to passers by when he slightly twitched.
A movie theater of films with twisted genres was playing one special feature for Belphegor, Avatar of Sloth. He was stuck in the jail of his mind as he relived the one memory he couldn’t erase and the one thing he could never forgive himself for…
There were some places that souls never wished to see or remember, and Belphegor was living one of his worst memories right now. It differed from the truth every time he lived it over and over again. His mind burning like a broken record - he had to play his part in this play. He had no choice. Sometimes the weapon was his tail, or his hands, or just magic… but other times a weapon was placed in his hand. Unfortunately, tonight was one of those times.
Belphegor was paler than the white sheets on his bed as he looked at the weapon in his head. His stomach was doing flips as he looked at the gun in hand… could this be the routine he was so used to living? The nightly nightmare that greeted him with such a malicious grin and a death grip on his heart strings. Belphegor held the gun up and tried to hide both of eyes behind the fringe of his hair; however, he could still clearly see his gun was pointed at MC. He has betrayed their trust now that he was free… and it left a sour taste in his mouth now.
Why did he ever think wronging his human was a good idea? Belphegor hadn’t known he’d fall for them, sure, but even if he hated them it didn’t give him a license to kill. Belphegor was angry at humans for taking Lilith, but all of those humans were long gone now. He was just a grieving boy who missed his sister. Now he was stuck remembering what foolish thing he had done because of his immaturity, anger, and impulses.
Belphegor wanted to beg his mind for mercy. He was the avatar of sloth, so he should be allowed to sleep peacefully! It was a crime he couldn’t even indulge in his own sin… but that all slipped his mind as he shakily had to point the gun at the human he had fallen in love with since this incident happened. Belphie bit his lip and tried to fight pulling the trigger… that was when he realized he wasn’t alone.
Does one ever understand how poisonous a whisper can be? It’s tiny darts that hit the heart if the right sequence of words are spoken - almost like a secret passcode.
“Lilith wouldn’t be proud.” The eldest brother stepped forward in the shadows. He walked around Belphegor. “She loved humans, and those you thought disgraced here are long gone. Why would you be so foolish? Such a disappointment. She wouldn’t be able to look at you.” Lucifer tutted as crossed his arms behind his back before others began to join him.
A scolding from Lucifer wasn’t enough. Belphegor didn’t hold him in high regard anymore; however, the statements about Lilith did sting. That seemed to be where this stemmed from, or perhaps keeping Belphegor in such a contained and restricted environment was unhealthy for him. He was taken from those who loved him, but then again Belphegor was beginning to doubt his family even cared about him - much less loved him.
Even though the avatar of pride continued talking, the second eldest of the brothers walked forward with some sass in his step before he placed his hands in his hips and followed Lucifer in circling around Belphegor. “I thought ya had so much smarts. What happened to that, huh? In memory of Lilith my ass! You took someone I loved. Ya would never do anything for your family, would ya? Don’t even keep your damn eyes open around us!” Mammon groaned. He loved the human exchange student above all else; there was no use in him hiding it. When it came to their safety, he never would.
Sliding in, with not very much grace, came Leviathan. It seemed that Belphegor’s brothers were coming in age order. “After I shut myself in, I have some human decency.”
“To think we used to be friends. I would never hurt someone I love and I find it disgusting you did such a thing, brother.” Satan growled at his younger brother. There was a bit of an angry aura coming off the fourth born that seemed to slightly shake the walls of the attic.
The fifth born came out of the darkness - formulating from seemingly nothing. “As if he deserves such a title!” Asmodeus scoffed. “None of my brothers would create such a mess! Stoop to something so low. I wish you never came out of the attic. At least we were happy! We should trade for real. Go to the human world, Belphie! We’ll banish you.”
There was a bit of silence as Belphegor tried to keep himself together. That was when Beelzebub joined the group. “I should’ve saved Lilith. At least she was kind.” Could it be that the normally expressionless avatar of gluttony was actually angry. “All this time I’ve been trying to be a good brother, and you couldn’t even be nice to someone who saved you! Do you ever think about anyone, Belphegor? You’re selfish. ”
No. No. It couldn’t be true. Belphegor couldn’t wrap his head around it; was this what his brothers truly thought of him? His throat felt tight and the gun sounded as if it was rattling in his hand from the way he was shaking. He felt like some animal in a cage, a clown in a circus, the headliner of a freak show! ‘Come Watch Belphegor Make A Fool Out of Himself!: Free Admission.’ It was starting to make the demon sick.
Their words began to swirl together in his mind like a never ending whirlpool in a raging ocean. Belphegor couldn’t see a way out. His brothers only continued to spit malicious statements at him. Belphegor just watched their faces turn from disgust to anger to just overall disappointment.
“I should’ve turned you into Diavolo the moment you committed treason. There was no reason for me to shelter you. I was trying to protect you- and this is how you repay me?”
“I wish we left you in the celestial realm!”
“Why do we even need a seventh brother?”
“I liked Lilith better than you.”
“Be the murderer you are and pull the trigger!”
“Take out the one person we all love out of our lives!”
Their voices were so jumbled together that Belphegor wasn’t sure who was saying what anymore. He only knew one thing for certain: if he pulled the trigger, the nightmare would stop. That was all he had to do. Be the killer they all already thought he was. Even if he killed the human, the one he was dating in reality, he had already done so in his life. This was just a memory! He had to move on. No matter what… if his brothers hated him, they hated him. He already did, so they could join the club.
Once again, the seventh born’s eyes fell upon his beloved human. The human who may be looking for him when he woke up. Had they even forgiven him? Belphegor was unsure. He wasn’t even positive he could forgive himself at this point. This mistake was something he’d deal with for all of eternity. He couldn’t erase what he’d become, but others could certainly erase him. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind if they did. Belphegor didn’t deserve his brothers - they could go on without him.
He felt all of his brothers above him towards the human and then secured his hand on the gun. Belphegor knew it was his job to pull the trigger. He knew the entire nightmare would shatter and he could wake up in bed again. Belphegor had to take a shaky breath. For in that moment, everything slowed down. The bullet fired from the game and pierced mc’s skin. As blood splattered across Belphegor’s vision, he was ripped away from his terror.
Belphegor woke up by bolting right up in bed; he was gripping his cow pillow so tightly his knuckles were bright white. He didn’t have time to assess that he realized he was in the attic - his prison person for what had felt like forever. It was suffocating. For a moment, he swore his own tail was around his neck, piercing his flesh with rose-like thorns, but it was only the hot air of the attic that had his lungs in a twist. Belphegor swore he could still see the blood on the walls and their dead body laying there… so he did the only thing he thought was logical.
Swiftly, the avatar of sloth made his way out the House of Lamentation. He didn’t expect to be so fast after waking up from a deep sleep, but he had to get out of there. Belphegor swore he could still feel the disapproving stares of his brothers on him. No one should see him in such a state. Besides, Belphegor couldn’t spend another minute in the place he had literally kept captive, and now he was being kept there by his mind in his sleep. Belphegor had to run. He didn’t know where, but when the fresh air of being outside hit his lungs he just ran faster. Away from home, away from his problems, and away from those he assumed hated him. After all, who could love a monster?
Eventually, Belphegor fell to his knees and stopped. He was still exhausted. Even with adrenaline pumping through his system from the fear, Belphegor could only run so far. He found himself kneeling by the lake by the palace the crowned demon prince and his butler lived in. That was the prison he was meant for, but he never received worthy punishment. He even got away with killing the human exchange student, and that didn’t feel right.
As he stared down at the ground, since he couldn’t bear to look at himself in the water, he felt his own heartstrings jumbled into painful knots. It felt as if someone was trying to tear them apart, and it burned him worse than hellfire. Hot tears poured down his face. For the rest of his life he’d have to face the fact he killed a human. One that was dear to his brothers, one that was a descendent of Lilith, and one he had deeply fallen in love with. Perhaps he shouldn’t be allowed to love. He always hurt the ones he did. Belphegor was a walking bad luck charm and a curse.
He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, but he just needed to be away from everything and everyone for a moment. Even though he had pulled the trigger in his nightmare, he wasn’t sure the true nightmare would ever stop. Bad things may never end… and Belphegor knew he deserved this. He knew things would never be okay. Belphegor would always be some kind of prisoner, and now he was a prisoner to his own mine. A punishment suitable for every single wrong-doing he had done.This was the price he had to pay, and there was no escape no matter how many times he pulled the trigger.