Archive of Our Own

It was approximately 6:42 P.M. on a Thursday night. Normally quite an uneventful, lonely night, especially for Shino. Fortunately he was in good company, although he could hardly appreciate it due to the fact that his current thoughts made his brain feel as if it were rattling around inside of his skull, and also due to the fact that his insects could feel his anxiety at the moment and felt as though, if he were to cease the constant thought of controlling them for even a fraction of a second, they would burst forth from inside of him. 

He tried his best to ignore the buzzing underneath his skin as well as the buzzing inside of his brain, although it was likely futile. Still, it wouldn't do to be rude in regards to Hinata's hospitality. So he did his best to eat the dinner which she had prepared for him, but it mostly resulted in him pushing it around on his plate, taking small bites on occasion. 

He didn't have much of an appetite at the best of times, but he had even less of one now, the nauseous swirl in his stomach would likely prevent him from enjoying even his most favorite of foods. Hinata definitely noticed that he was not even showing his usual minimal appetite, but she said nothing about it as she watched him slide the meal he was sure she worked quite hard to make around on his plate. 

Instead she observed him with growing concern in her eyes. Moreso than anyone, Hinata had always been able to read him like a book. She was quite good at reading people in general, being such a quiet, observant person, but, because of Shino's nature and her many years of practice, she'd become better at reading him than anyone else he knew. Not that many others cared to try. 

He knew he would be unable to hide his mood from her for long. 

"Shino, is something the matter?" 

"Everything is fine. Why? Because I am enjoying the company of one of my closest friends." 

She raised an eyebrow at him. Unlike on many people the expression did not come across in a mocking fashion, but more a concerned one. Her lips curled down into a frown.

"You don't have to lie to me, you know." 

"I assure you that I am not lying. Everything is fine." 

Hinata looked at him for another moment before sighing and turning back down to her food. She began shifting the food on her plate as he had done earlier, but made no move to take a bite. After a moment she spoke once more. 

"I know you've been a bit...um, depressed lately. And now, with Kiba, a-and Naruto, out on a mission, I figured, w-well, it would be a good time to invite you here so that you would feel a bit better." She glanced up at him, an awkward smile on her face, reminiscent of when they were children and everything made her nervous. She did not wear the expression nearly as much now as she had back then, so this situation likely made her uneasy. 

Still, despite this and his lack of desire to upset Hinata further, he couldn't help the slight anger he felt at the insinuation that Kiba not being around was a partial cause of his foul mood.

"There is no reason that Kiba not being in the village for an extended amount of time would make me feel any sort of way. The reason is because his presence is an annoyance at times, and also because we are not joined at the hip." He did his best to mask the irritation in his words, but he was sure it showed through, as Hinata flinched a little and held her hands up, her eyes growing wide. 

"I-I wasn't implying you were upset b-because of Kiba!" She placed her hands back down on the table, folding them together and fidgeting with her fingers, her eyes on them now instead of Shino. "I just noticed that you seem...lonely lately, with everything that's been happening. And you're closest to Kiba, so..." 

Shino furrowed a brow. He knew it was true, although he did not want to admit it to himself, much less an outside party, even if that outside party was one of his closest friends. 

He had always had abandonment issues, although it took him years to come to terms with them, and the goings on of his friends in the village lately had done nothing to help them, in fact, they had become much worse. 

Naruto and Hinata had gotten married, and many of there others had coupled off and followed suit not far behind them. Hinata, although it was not yet apparent from her appearance, had found out just two weeks ago that she had fallen pregnant, and, although he was not nearly as close to any of the other kunoichi as he was to Hinata, he had heard talk around the village that might be the case for others as well. 

Those who weren't busy with marriage or looming parenthood or both were actively going on missions(many doing all three), and Shino's feelings of being left behind were growing stronger each day. 

Although it had been his own choice to retire at such a young age to work towards his goal of becoming a teacher at the academy, the fact that most of his peers were still actively doing field work while he was quite literally left behind in the village did not help matters. 

If anyone were to tell him as a child he would have retired from active duty at only twenty years old he would not believe them, and yet here he was. The twists and turns life took were funny like that sometimes. 

While he'd once prided himself on being an exceptional and talented shinobi, he'd watched his friends grow stronger every day, while he stayed the same. He'd once been quite near the top of his class, and now he felt as though he was average at best. It was quite humbling, to say the least, and he was sure that, now that he was essentially retiring as a shinobi, only to be called out onto missions if there was an emergency, he would only grow weaker. He would have to keep up with his training even more so than he had in the past, he supposed. 

Kiba had told him once that he peaked at twelve, and, although he had not spoken to him for seventy-two hours after the statement(joke? He couldn't tell.), he couldn't help but feel as though he were right. Not only was he being left behind in terms of life events and relationships, he was being left behind in terms of power as well. So perhaps his change in career choice was for the best. He did not regret it, nonetheless, even if it was not helping when it came to his inner turmoil. 

He still saw Kiba more often than anyone else, although the amount of time he spent with his closest friend was also growing to be less and less now, as Kiba had been spending more and more time venturing out to visit Tamaki and her hoard of cats. 

He was not jealous, mind you. In fact he was quite apathetic when it came to the situation. He did not need to concern himself with what Kiba did in his free time. In fact, the less he had to see Kiba, the better, as the man was, as he had stated to Hinata moments ago, an annoyance. Shino did not have time to waste with him when he was busy making sure he met the criteria needed for his future career choice. 

He did not need to let his feelings get in the way. He had come to terms with the less than platonic affections he held for Kiba long ago, however, he still found him to be a pest at the best of times, and had no plans to do anything about said feelings. He would instead do what he'd always done, and bottle them up, ignore them. Kiba had Tamaki, and had never made any indication of feeling anything besides friendship for him, and it was likely he never would. He would soon become betrothed and forget about him as well, just like everyone else. It was only a matter of time.

"Shino?" 

Shino glanced up at Hinata again, eyes wide underneath his glasses. He had allowed her to startle him. That had not happened in quite a long time. He hadn't realized he'd been so lost in thought. 

"Apologies. I seem to have gotten lost in my own head. It won't happen again." 

Hinata sighed quietly before reaching across the small table in the house she shared with Naruto and gently clutching at Shino's hand. 

"Shino. It's okay to not be okay. Whether it's because you're feeling left behind or depressed or even because of Kiba-" 

"Kiba has nothing to do with it." 

Hinata flinched again, and Shino immediately felt horrible for interrupting her. As someone who was usually on the receiving end of having his words interrupted, he did his best to never do it to anyone else, as it always left him with an awful feeling. Hinata was one of the only people who never interrupted him, so doing it to her made him feel extra terrible. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay, Shino." She squeezed his hand in reassurance. "It's just...y-you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I am aware of this. It is because you are one of my closest friends. But I am afraid that I do not have anything that I feel I need to share with you at this time." 

Hinata eyed him for a moment longer before pulling her hand back. She smiled her usual sweet smile at him, although it didn't quite meet her eyes, as they were still filled with worry. "Okay." 

They continued to eat in silence for a while, with Shino managing three or four more bites before his twisting stomach would no longer allow him to force his food down. 

He didn't look up as he collected the plates and washed them up, feeling bad for wasting Hinata's food and hard work. 

As she dried off the dishes and placed them onto their rack, Hinata spoke. 

"I'm going to the village gate tomorrow to meet Naruto and Kiba when they come back from their mission. Would you like to join me?" 

Shino paused his actions, finally looking up at her, although he was sure it was hard for her to tell with his glasses. "I do not see why it would be necessary for me to do so." 

"Because they're your friends, Shino. Besides, it's been a while since you've seen Naruto." 

"Perhaps he will have forgotten who I am again, as he often does." 

Hinata smiled sympathetically at him. He was mostly joking, as Naruto had not forgotten who he was for years now, but the fact it had happened multiple times still left a bit of a sting on his heart as well as on his ego. 

"So would you like to come?" 

"I suppose. It will be to keep you company on the walk there, not because I want to see Kiba or Naruto." 

Hinata laughed. "Okay."

"I don't know how you do it, man." Kiba tugged at the tough jerky he was eating with his teeth, finally ripping off a piece after a moment of struggling. 

"Do what?" 

"The whole..." He waved his hand around in the air. "relationship thing. It's tough as shit." 

"Oh, yeah." Naruto grinned and rubbed the back of his head. 

Although Naruto and Hinata had only been together for a relatively short amount of time, and married even less, their relationship seemed to be going well. Kiba had gotten over his childhood crush on Hinata years ago, so he had no hard feelings in that department. He was happy she was finally with the person he'd watched her pine for all of her life, and he was happy their relationship was going smoothly. He was a bit jealous of that fact as well, though. His relationships never seemed to be anything but rocky. 

"Guess I'm just lucky to have someone like Hinata by my side." Naruto's grin grew even wider, and Kiba saw the fondness in his eyes. Gross. 

"Ha, I bet. Hinata's sweet and understanding and doesn't scream at you when you track mud in the house." 

"Well-" 

"And she doesn't treat her cats better than you, either." 

"You jealous of some cats, Kiba?" Naruto eyed him teasingly, crossing his legs in the grass of their makeshift camp site. "Did you and Tamaki have another fight?" 

"Nah I think it's over for real this time." Kiba gnawed on another piece of his jerky, ripping off a piece to give to Akamaru as he whined by his side. "She keeps telling me to 'Stop lying to myself.', whatever the hell that means." 

"What does that mean?" Naruto looked just as confused as he felt. 

"How should I know?!" He let his anger get the best of him as he launched his jerky across the clearing, sighing and muttering a little 'Damn it.' under his breath as Akamaru ran and ate it all in a matter of seconds. 

Naruto eyed him warily for a second, strangely silent, considering he was Naruto, as if he were waiting for him to say something else. 

"If I tell you something, would you promise not to blab about it to everyone in the village?" 

"'Course! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, future Hokage and the king of keeping secrets!" Naruto jammed his thumb into his chest, closing his eyes and grinning pridefully. Kiba scoffed. 

"Yeah, sure." He sighed. He looked down and picked at the skin around his nails. "I think Tamaki figured out that I like Shino." 

He was met with silence, and after a moment, he glanced up to see Naruto looking at him with clear confusion on his face. "Shino? Of course you like Shino, he's your best friend." 

"God, you're an idiot." 

"Hey!" 

"I like like Shino. I've been, like," he looked down again, picking at his skin some more and speaking quieter, "...in love with him, or whatever, for years. God, how the hell did you end up being the first one to get married?" 

"Wait, really?" 

"Yeah...." 

"Wow! That's great, Kiba, I'm so happy for you!" 

"You're an idiot." He sighed, leaning on Akamaru as the ninken nudged his way under his armpit to nuzzle at his face. "I never did anything about it because I doubt he'd ever like me back. He doesn't seem like he'd feel like that about anyone, much less me. You've seen how annoyed he gets with me all the time. And then I always end up egging him on and making him even more pissed off. Guess I'm an idiot too." Akamaru licked his face and he gave him a scratch behind the ear. 

Naruto looked thoughtful for a second, which was no doubt dangerous territory. "You ever tried telling him? Ya never know, he might feel the same." 

"Or he could like...kill me or whatever with his freaky bugs." 

"He wouldn't do that. You're his best friend." 

Kiba gave him a pointed look. As if Naruto had any right to give his opinion on whether or not someone's best friend and attempted murderer could be the same person. He didn't seem to catch the irony. 

"Even if I say something, and he says no, it would totally ruin our friendship forever." 

"Hm." Naruto scratched the side of his head, clearly deep in thought. 

"You're thinking. That's dangerous." 

"You're always teasing him, right? And joking around? What if you like...played it off as a joke if it doesn't go the way you want?" 

That....actually wasn't a bad idea. Huh. Maybe Naruto did have a relevant thought every once in a while. 

"Hm." 

"Great idea, right?!" 

"It's not a bad one." Akamaru whimpered by his side, clearly of a slightly different opinion, but Kiba did not want to hear it. This plan was fool proof. What would Akamaru know about it, anyway?

Kiba, Naruto, and Akamaru arrived back in the village at around 4:45 P.M. the next evening. Shino had busied himself with his studies all throughout the day, as he still had a lot of material to brush up on to be 100% sure he met the criteria to become a teacher at the academy. It was easy to distract his brain from the thought of Kiba returning to the village, less so to calm down the twisting in his heart as well as his stomach, and the excited buzzing of his kikaichu beneath his skin. 

At around 4:05 P.M. he had met up with Hinata and they had walked to the gate, keeping the small talk between them at the bare minimum, as they often did. He appreciated the comfortable silence they often shared. It was much less stifling than last night, when she had been trying to convince him to talk about his feelings. 

Akamaru was the first to come into view, bolting over to his former teammates as soon as he smelled them. Hinata cooed over him and Shino stiffly scratched him on the head, forever unwilling to admit that he had a huge soft spot for the dog(and even more unwilling to admit his soft spot for his owner). 

Naruto arrived to them shortly after, scooping Hinata up in a hug and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as well. They were in public after all, and he knew better than to do anymore than that lest he risk her imploding on the spot from embarrassment. 

Kiba arrived last, seemingly taking his sweet time to walk over to them, looking a bit more nervous than Shino was used to seeing him. Still, he had his usual cocky grin on his face, and greeted Shino with a wave. Shino nodded in reply. 

Kiba laughed awkwardly, chewing on his lip with the little snaggletooth that Shino had always found cute, before looking up at him and speaking. "Hey, Shino. So, uh, how've you been?" 

"I am the exact same as I was before you left. That is because I am doing the same things I was the last time we spoke, that is, studying the necessary materials to become an instructor at the academy." 

"R-right." 

"Did your mission go as planned?" 

"Yeah. It was fine. Listen, Shino...uh...god, this is weird..." Shino tilted his head a bit at Kiba as he picked at the skin around his fingernails. "Do you wanna, like, um, go out sometime? Like not as best friends like usual...but as...a date?" 

Shino stared at him.

What? 

This could not be happening. Surely he was still sleeping and this was a dream. Or perhaps a nightmare. Or perhaps both. Perhaps his subconscious was teasing him, dangling his desires in front of him only to likely snatch them away the moment he awoke. He had come to terms with the fact Kiba would never feel the same way about him, but now apparently he did? Or at least he felt some kind of feelings besides friendship towards him? It didn't seem likely. Surely he'd misheard him. 

"...Shino?" 

Shino looked back at Kiba, eyes wide behind his goggles. He felt himself trembling a bit, his nerves at an all time high. He wasn't sure how to respond, or if he even could. His body and mind seemed not to be synching up properly at the moment. 

He did not register the small shifts in Kiba's expression. How it went from nervous, to terrified, to angry, within but a moment. 

"Ugh, you're so pathetic, falling for that!" Kiba said, loud enough that the words and their meaning made Shino flinch. "Like I'd ever want to date you!" He put his hands on his hips, getting up in Shino's face. "It was just a joke!" He laughed loudly, and, although the laughter would sound forced to anyone else, Shino was currently unable to register it as so. 

He was far too hurt to put much thought into the little meanings behind Kiba's actions and words right now. 

A joke. 

It was just a joke. 

Kiba had somehow found out about his feelings, and he'd turned it into a joke. He'd played him for a fool. He may as well have ripped his heart out and stomped on it right there. 

The sounds around him started to blur, as did his eyes, not that anyone would see, and he felt an insect or two crawl out from beneath his skin. 

He needed to go home. Now. He needed to get out of here. Kiba's laughter, which continued on far too long, was rattling his brain in the worst possible way. 

He turned on his heel, facing away from his friends, and began to walk home. He heard himself mutter 'I have to go.', the words sounding watery even to his ears, although he supposed it was an automatic response and not something he had thought very hard about. He wasn't sure he was even capable of complex thought at that moment. 

The walk home was a blur. 

Hinata stared after Shino for a moment, then looked at Kiba. She wasn't sure what had just happened. 

"Uhm.....Kiba???" 

Kiba did not even respond to her. He'd stopped laughing and instead watched Shino disappear into the distance, a blank expression on his face. 

"Damn, guess that didn't work out how we wanted." 

"We?" Hinata glanced up at her husband, taking in the awkward, sympathetic smile on his face. 

"Yeah! Kiba wanted to ask out Shino but was scared he'd say no, so I said he should pretend it was a joke if it didn't go well! I'd hoped he wouldn't have to, though..." 

Hinata blinked at Naruto. 

She loved him, with all her heart, but he was an idiot. 

She couldn't imagine that pain Shino was feeling right now. This was the exact type of situation that would build onto his insecurities. 

And Kiba...while this was his fault for going through with Naruto's stupid plan, she felt bad. She had never seen him look as....empty, as he did right at this moment. 

Her heart ached for them both, but moreso for Shino, who she had been trying so hard to cheer up as he was swallowed up by the insecurity and self deprecation that had began to take root in him during their teenage years. He had never made his feelings for Kiba known to her himself, but it was obvious in the way he hardly ever let anyone besides Kiba into his personal bubble, as well as the way he interacted with him in general. She swore if she could see his eyes most of the time when he spoke with Kiba she would see love in them. Kiba had been quite obvious too, with the way he clung onto Shino, the way he teased him, and even moreso the way he acted when he thought no one else was around, although she doubted anyone but her would see it. But they were her best friends, and she liked to think she knew them better than anyone else. 

They were both hurting, and there wasn't really much she could do to smooth over the situation as of right now. That thought hurt her, too. 

She needed a moment to be away from everyone else and collect her thoughts, to figure out what to do about this. She wasn't sure if she could do anything about it, honestly, but she needed time to figure that out. 

She hoped their friendship wasn't damaged beyond repair. 

Hinata backed away from Naruto's side, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

"You're both absolute fools." The tone of her voice was not one she usually used, and it caused both her husband and her former teammate to turn and look at her. Kiba's eyebrows were furrowed, although his expression remained mostly unreadable. Akamaru nudged at the back of his knees, seemingly trying to urge him in the direction Shino had gone, but his actions went completely ignored by his master. 

Hinata had nothing else to say to them right now, at least not until she was able to collect her thoughts. So she walked away. 

Naruto reached after her for a moment before pulling his arm back. "What's with her?" 

"Dunno..." Kiba's voice was uncharacteristically quiet and subdued, and he said nothing else. 

Naruto sat on he and Hinata's couch, lost in thought, which many might say was pretty dangerous territory for him. 

He'd really messed up, hadn't he? 

He was only trying to help. 

After Hinata had left he and Kiba had stopped by the Hokage's office to give their mission brief to Kakashi-sensei. Kiba hadn't said much the entire way there, and while they were there he only spoke about the mission. He'd been very off the entire rest of the time Naruto had spent with him that day, and he was acting nothing like the Kiba that Naruto knew. The thing with Shino seemed to have really messed him up. 

After they left the Hokage's office Kiba had given him a short 'See ya!' before running off, a clearly worried Akamaru trailing behind him. 

Naruto wasn't really sure what to make of it all. 

Hinata returned home shortly after he did, and he could tell she was angry. 

It wasn't the type of anger he was used to, and he still wasn't used to seeing it coming from her. He was used to people like Sakura, who became loud and violent when angry, or people like Sasuke, who expressed their anger with hurtful words and actions. 

But when Hinata was angry she just acted cold. 

He didn't like it, seeing her like this, especially knowing he was the cause. 

He knew this anger, the quiet protective rage. He'd felt it in regards to himself before, as well as in regards to her teammates from Team 8. Naruto knew that Hinata viewed those two as family, perhaps even moreso than members of her actual flesh and blood family. 

"Hinata...." 

Hinata busied herself with starting to make some tea, but she at least acknowledged him, and spoke to him. "Shino loves Kiba too, you know." 

"He does??" Naruto brightened up at that. "So then there's no problem! They can just work it out!" 

"But now Kiba has hurt him, and I don't know how they'll recover from that. Shino already feels like he doesn't matter to the majority of his friends and now having his very best friend treat his feelings as if they're a joke is really going to have hurt him. I don't know if there is anything Kiba can do to fix it." 

"...He doesn't think he matters? Surely he knows how much everybody cares about him." 

"None of you have ever made the effort to show him that. Especially you, Naruto." 

The words sting, and they are perhaps the coldest words Hinata has ever directed at him. Naruto suddenly remembered all of the times he forgot about Shino, all of the times he left him out, all of the times they all did. 

Oh. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Shino, when you get the chance." 

"I will."

Hinata handed him a cup of the tea he had prepared, and he quickly took a large sip, burning his tongue. She hid her giggle behind her hand. 

"You must be real mad at me, laughing at my pain like that!" His tongue hung out of his mouth, and Hinata giggled again.

"Sorry, Naruto." 

"Come oooon, Akamaru...lemme jus'....sleep here." Kiba plopped down against the wall of the alleyway they had stopped in, leaning against a large bag of trash on the ground. "Look, they even lef' me a..a pillow." A rat crawled out of the bag and across Kiba's thigh, and Akamaru scrunched up his nose before tugging at his master's pant leg with his teeth, dragging him away from the bag a bit. 

"Akamaruuuu...." Kiba wrapped his arms around the ninja dog's neck, dragging him down with him and attempting to snuggle him. "'S'fine, buddy...no one's gonna...no one's gonna mess with us, here, ya know?" He hiccuped, wiping his mouth against his sleeve that stank of alcohol and now of garbage. "We're ninjas." 

Akamaru whined and pulled out of Kiba's grip. 

"F-fine, do what...whatever you want, boy..." Kiba rolled over onto his side, snuggling up against the garbage bag and closing his eyes. "M'goin ta sleep." 

It was 11:47 P.M. Shino would normally be asleep right now, as he believed that one was most productive if they were in bed by a decent time and up by a decent time as well, but he had been completely unable to subdue his thoughts. 

He'd been sitting in the living room of his apartment for several hours now, in the dark. He did not wish to have the bright overhead lights on at the moment, as he'd had to remove his goggles to prevent them from becoming dirty due to his tears, and his already sensitive eyes were made even more so by the fact he had been crying. 

He couldn't believe he had allowed such a heartless person to have such a grip on his heart. He'd always known Kiba could be a bit mean at times, and was often on the receiving end of his rudeness, but he never thought he would go this far specifically to hurt him. 

Perhaps he'd overestimated the size of Kiba's heart. 

There was a loud scratching at his front door. Shino felt his insects buzz uneasily. He recognized the sound. It was the sound that he heard every time Kiba came to visit. It was Akamaru. 

He waited a moment, and the scratching continued, followed by a whine from the ninja hound. 

Shino cleared his throat in preparation to speak, but his voice still came out scratchy and watery. "I am not in the mood for visitors right now, Kiba." 

The scratching got louder and the whining continued. No Kiba, then. Just Akamaru. Strange. Usually Kiba would have joined up with his dog by this time. 

Shino finally stood up and went to the door when Akamaru let out a howl. 

Akamaru practically jumped on him when he opened the door, and Shino gave him a scratch behind the ear. He allowed his concern due to Akamaru's clear distress and the lack of Kiba with him to overshadow his anger and sadness for a moment. 

"What's the matter, Akamaru? Where's Kiba?" 

Akamaru let out a whine and began tugging on Shino's dampened sleeve, so, with a sigh, he slipped on his shoes and followed him out the door. 

Finding Kiba, drunk and unconscious, in an alleyway, was not quite a surprise, but was also not quite how Shino had expected this night to end. 

He ended up bringing him back to his own apartment. It was closer to where he found him, anyway. He also did not want to bring him to the Inuzuka household and have to deal with Kiba's mother. She was quite loud and brash, even more so than her son, and, unlike Kiba, did not quite know how to tone it down when necessary to not overwhelm him. 

Bringing him to Tamaki was even less so of a desired option, both because her home was far too great of a distance, as well as the fact that Shino desired to see her even less. 

So his apartment it was. He gave Kiba his bed, because he was a gracious host, and, as angry as he was, he still loved Kiba and did want him to be comfortable. 

He himself settled down in his desk chair. He would be unable to sleep on the couch in the living room, lest he wake up to sunlight shining in his incredibly sensitive eyes. Every other room in the house had normal curtains, but his bedroom had blackout curtains. No other room was really an option. 

After a couple of hours spent shifting between watching Kiba snore loudly as he stunk up his bed and watching Akamaru going back and forth between quite literally sleeping on top of Kiba and curling around Shino's legs, laying his head on his thigh, he drifted off to an uncomfortable and restless sleep. 

Kiba wasn't sure what time it was when he woke up, but he instantly knew where he was. He was surrounded by Shino. Shino's smell was the first thing he noticed, and it overwhelmed his senses. The second thing he noticed was the smell of garbage that was covering him from head to toe and mingling with Shino's scent. The third was the fact the room was nearly pitch black, with only a very small sliver of moonlight coming in from above the window. 

Shino's bedroom, then. It took his eyes a moment to adjust. It didn't help that his head was absolutely pounding. God, how drunk had he gotten last night? 

He was finally able to see a little bit and looked over to find Shino slumped over in his desk chair, asleep, with Akamaru curled protectively around his legs. He was still wearing the clothes he had been wearing the day before, during The Moment Where Kiba Fucked Up, other than his goggles, which he had exchanged for the round sunglasses he more often wore at home, that were quite similar to the ones he'd worn when they were kids. 

He shivered slightly, probably because Kiba was currently wrapped in all of his blankets, and his glasses slid down his face, perching themselves at the tip of his nose. He breathed out a sigh in his sleep, shifting slightly. 

Kiba thought he looked adorable, not that he'd ever tell him that. He doubted Shino would appreciate that compliment, anyway. 

His thoughts swam a little. He didn't remember much from last night after he'd gone out to drink, so he didn't really have a clue how he ended up at Shino's place. He could only imagine that Akamaru had gone to fetch (ha) him after he'd passed out or something. 
 
But he was pretty shocked that Shino had actually come for him, had helped him, after what he'd done yesterday. 

Kiba wasn't stupid. He knew how Shino worked, all his insecurities, his doubts, his weaknesses. He should have known from the start that Naruto's plan was a bad one. But the idea allowed him to work up enough courage to do what he'd wanted to for so long, just from the fact that it would give him some kind of out if Shino didn't feel the same, so he'd lied to himself.

He hadn't thought it through enough. Because if he had, if he'd been a good friend, if he'd put his Shino 101 knowledge to good use, he'd have realized from the very moment Naruto proposed the idea that if he were to turn these types of feelings into a joke, whether Shino felt the same or not, it would hurt him. 

Because Shino, although he tried not to show it, let others thoughts of him and actions towards him get to him like no one else Kiba had ever met. He'd had his presence and his feelings written off his entire life, so why was Kiba now contributing to that? Why was he hurting him worse? 

He was supposed to be his best friend. He was supposed to love him. 

Maybe he was stupid after all. 

Kiba shifted on the bed, turning on his side to get a better look at Shino. When he did so, however, a horrible, tremendous pain shot through his skull. 

Surely Shino had some kinda pain medication around here somewhere. He decided he'd get up to check, but overestimated his ability to be stealthy when hungover, and immediately tripped on the blanket that had somehow wrapped itself around his ankle, barely catching himself on the side table. 

Shino awoke with a 'Hm.' , 

He looked up and they made eye contact. 

"Kiba..." 

"Shino." 

Shino stared at him for a moment, taking him in, his expression unreadable. "I hadn't realized you were awake." 

"I just woke up." 

"I see." 

"Do you...want me to leave?" 

"I do not. Why? It is because it is still not quite morning, and the alcohol you consumed has not quite left your system, so it would not be wise for you to venture home at this moment." 

"Okay...well...thanks. For, uh, helping me, or whatever you did. I don't really remember much of last night, to be honest.." 

"I would assume not. You were sleeping in a bag of garbage, with rats." 

"..Ew." 

Shino pushed up his glasses and sat up straighter in his chair. His neck cracked. 

"I trust you do remember the events of the day quite well, however." 

"...Yeah." Kiba slumped back down on the edge of Shino's bed. 

"I do not like to speak much on feelings, as I was raised to feel as little of them as possible, so it is a difficult subject for me, but you really hurt me yesterday, Kiba." 

"...Yeah, I know....I'm sorry...." 

"You know?" 

"I knew that would hurt your feelings before I even did it, but I still...."

Shino's voice turned cold, the difference only perceptible to someone as well versed in Shino-isms as Kiba was. "You knew, yet you still did it? Why?" 

"Because I'm an idiot." 

"Indeed you are." 

They sat in silence for a moment before Kiba sighed. 

"Listen I'll...I do wanna talk about this...like, for real. But uh...do you have any kind of pain meds I can take first? My head is killin' me." 

"I have something for pain in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I would like some as well. It is because my back, as well as my neck, are quite sore because of sleeping in this chair." He shifted again and his back popped. 

"You could've put me on the couch, you know." 

"I could not allow that. Why? Because you are my guest, and it was the cheapest available couch at the time of my purchase and is thus not adequate to sleep on. Plus, you have been on a mission for approximately four days, and I have not been on one for eight months, therefore you deserved the bed." 

Kiba sighed. Shino was stubborn and there was no talking him down from his opinion in situations like this, so there really was no point in trying. 

Instead he got up and went to the bathroom to get them some pain pills, taking his immediately before shoving his head under the faucet to wash them down. He filled a cup of water for Shino and made his way back to the bedroom. 

When he returned Shino had turned on a lamp, which he was thankful for. He hated trying to navigate this place in the dark. His sense of smell was all but useless when the entire house overwhelmed his senses like this, not that it was particularly useful when getting around anyone's house, anyway. Everything there tended to smell the same, after a while. 

He placed the pills into Shino's hand and handed him the cup, hyper aware of their brushing fingers. 

He sat back down on the bed, next to where Akamaru had moved to snuggle up in it, eyeing Shino across the room. 

"You know, it'd be easier to talk to you if you came closer." 

"I do not feel quite comfortable being close to you at this time, Kiba." Shino stared down at his cup, stroking his finger along the rim, pointedly keeping his hidden eyes off of Kiba. 

"...Oh. Okay. Sorry." Ouch.

"Don't worry too much about it." 

"...Okay." 

They sat in silence for a moment. Shino said nothing, and Kiba wasn't sure what to say either. 

Shockingly Shino was the one to break the silence. 

"You said you wanted to talk. So talk." 

Kiba sighed and worked up the courage to speak, leaning back against Akamaru to ground himself. "I'm really sorry, Shino. I..." He furrowed his brow. "I'm real bad at shit like this." He ran his hand through his hair. "I was nervous earlier, and scared of rejection. So I thought if I played it off as a joke it wouldn't hurt as bad when you rejected me. Because I actually do like you. A lot. More than a lot." 

Shino stared at him, but it was hard to tell his expression behind his sunglasses. "....Is this another joke?"

Kiba stood up. "No!" He winced at the volume of his own voice. "Of course not. I've...God, I've never regretted anything more in my life than trying to play that off as a joke earlier!" 

"I see." 

"You don't have to forgive me. I know I fucked up. And it's okay that you don't feel the same, either, I'm not really surprised..." 

"I do. Or, rather, I did. Right now I am not quite sure how I feel." 

"Oh." Kiba sunk back down on the bed, burying his head in his hands. What had he done? He'd really ruined everything, huh? 

"I've been in love with you for quite a long time, Kiba. I have always been under the impression that you did not feel the same, so I did nothing about it and attempted to subdue those feelings. It has not worked as well as I hoped, however, as they have been quite strong lately as I watch every one of our friends become wed. I had assumed you and Tamaki would soon follow suit, and it made me quite depressed." 

"Tamaki broke up with me." Kiba glanced up at him, watching him take in the information.

Shino's brow furrowed. "She did?" 

"She broke up with me because she found out I was in love with you." 

"...Oh." 

"Don't get me wrong. I wasn't like...using her or anything, to get over you, or just in general...so don't...don't think I'm a bad person, okay? I do like Tamaki. But I like you even more. I figured if I couldn't have you, I'd stay with her, but, it didn't work out." He laughed, but the sound was empty. 

"I see." 

"Now I guess I've gone and screwed up so bad I don't get you or her. It's what I deserve, I guess." Akamaru was steadily licking his hand in comfort, and he appreciated it, even if it couldn't ease the guilt and pain he felt. 

Shino was silent for a while after that. If Kiba wasn't used to his long stretches of silence, he might find it abnormal. 

He sighed and returned his face to his hands. 

He wasn't sure there was anything he'd ever be able to do to fix this. He supposed this is what he got for being an asshole his entire life. Karma was a real bitch. 

When Shino finally spoke there was a wateriness to his voice that Kiba wasn't used to. 

"I...I had no idea your feelings were strong enough to warrant such things." Kiba finally looked at him again, finding him fidgeting with his glasses, his brow furrowed even more than usual. He was so hard to read. Kiba wanted to see his eyes. "Truthfully the reason is because I assumed, after you confessed them moments ago, that they were infatuation at best, and that you did not feel as strongly for me as I have for you. It would have made it easier to crush down such feelings and let them go ignored." 

"Shino..."

"Please let me continue to speak without interruption, if I may." Kiba couldn't help but notice how tense Shino's shoulders had become as they were pulled up nearly to his ears. He got like this when he was feeling self conscious and anxious. He hated seeing him like this, but he knew that trying to comfort him right now wouldn't be a very good idea. 

So instead he nodded, giving Shino his full attention. 

"Kiba. You are very outgoing, loud, and brash. There are many other words I could use to describe you as well, but those are the ones I feel do the most decent job. It is because of this that you are an enigma to me. I cannot understand your thoughts or feelings, and it frightens me." 

He was quiet for a moment, so Kiba opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Shino continued. 

"It is because of these things I have a hard time figuring out whether what you are saying and feeling is genuine. It is also because you have already made me feel that they aren't by saying that you were joking, and also because I simply cannot fathom why you would feel such things for me to begin with." 

He'd said a lot, but Kiba's ears had zeroed in on that last point. He couldn't control the fact Shino couldn't understand him, and he couldn't take back the fact he'd turned his feelings into a joke, but he could do something about that last one.

Did Shino think he was unlovable? It wasn't surprising, knowing him, but hearing him basically say it out loud made Kiba suddenly feel like absolute shit over every little insult he'd said to him all their lives. He couldn't help but think he'd made it ten times worse with his rude remarks and cocky attitude. 

Shino seemed to be finished speaking for now, so Kiba finally allowed himself to respond. 

"I don't really know what to say to all that other stuff, but....do you really not think I could love you?" 

Shino's shoulders, if possible, seemed to draw up even more at his choice of using the world 'love', despite the fact he'd used it himself moments before. He kept his head down, fingers gripping tighter against the cup in his hands.

"I do not....The reason is because you are extroverted, likable, and attractive, and I am none of those things." 

Kiba was across the room in a second. He couldn't help himself. Hangover be damned, he wasn't going to let Shino talk badly about himself like this. 

"Hey! You can't insult yourself like that, only I'm allowed to make fun of you." He punctuated his sentence with a smirk. He was trying to make light of the situation, but it was only because he wanted to try to make Shino feel a bit better. A short term solution to a long term problem, for sure. 

Shino looked up at him, worrying his lip between his teeth and clutching the cup in his hands somehow even tighter. "Kiba..." 

Kiba reached down and took the cup from his hands, placing it on his desk. He then got on his knees, leaning on his elbows onto Shino's lap. Shino stiffened, back going rigid. 

"W-what are you doing, Kiba?" 

"Gonna talk some sense into ya. Even if you decide not to forgive me, I'm not gonna let you talk about my best friend like that." 

"I don't believe you need to..to sit like that, to talk to me. It is because-" 

"Wouldn't have to if you'd come and sat with me on the bed. Too late now." Kiba pillowed his head on his arms, looking up at Shino. 

"First off, you don't need to be extroverted. I know I'm super popular and cool, but you don't need to be those things. You're fine being introverted. You wouldn't be you if you were outgoing, and I have hard enough of a time competing with Naruto. Second, you're plenty likeable. Yeah you're weird as hell, but that doesn't make you unlikable, I like that about you. It's...endearing...that's the word, right?" 

"...Yes." Shino's voice sounded small. Kiba continued. 

"I like that you know all these weird facts about bugs, even if I don't understand what you're talking about half the time. And speaking of talking, I like the way you talk. It's weird, but, like, in a good way. It's cute. I like that you aren't afraid to call me, or anyone, out on their shit, and God knows I need you to sometimes. I like that you know you're a badass and are confident as hell in your fighting skills, even if you're not confident in anything else about yourself. Which, by the way, you should be. You think you're not attractive, but you're wrong. You're one of the most attractive people I've ever met. You've got a great face, a great body, even if you cover it up...and when you've let me see your eyes, I always thought they were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen." 

"K-Kiba...." 

"Want me to stop?" 

"Please..." Kiba smiled softly up at him, and Shino's lip started to wobble. 

"Shino...are you crying?" 

"No. I've only got some...something in my eye." 

Kiba raised an eyebrow. Yeah, bullshit. "With sunglasses on?" 

"Alright. Perhaps I am crying. The reason is because you sprung all of this on me very suddenly and I was emotionally unprepared." He wiped at his eye with his sleeve, jostling his glasses. 

"Sorry." 

"You do not need to apologize anymore. It is because you have done that many times tonight already...." Shino kept wiping the tears that continued to fall off of his cheeks. Kiba wanted to reach out to him, but he realized that, at the moment, it wasn't his place. He'd still fucked up in the end, after all. All of those flowery words couldn't change that. 

After a while Shino finally seemed to compose himself.

"Kiba. If...if I were perhaps to forgive you, would I be able to be quite certain you would never do something like this to hurt me again in the future?" 

Kiba's head shot up. "Of course. I mean, I can't promise I won't do something without thinking about it again, but I can promise I won't actively do something to hurt you. I'm not that shit of a person." 

"That's good. Why do I ask this? It is because, although the heart is not something that can physically be broken, I did feel as though you broke mine yesterday." 

Kiba's heart ached. He didn't realized he'd taken it that badly. Shit. 

"...I'm so sorry, Shino..." 

"There is no need for you to repeat your apology over and over. It is because I forgive you, even though my head tells me not to do so. My heart, however, tells me that it is right. I would like to listen to my heart, Kiba, rather than my head, for once. Plus, I can't stay mad at you forever. Why? It's because you are very special to me." 

Kiba felt his heart skip a beat. "...I am?" 

"Don't let it get to your head, it's big enough as it is." 

"Hey, you've got a big ego too, don't call me out if you don't expect me to do the same!" 

The corner of Shino's mouth quirked up almost imperceptibly, but it was enough to put Kiba at ease. 

"So, uh...if you've forgiven me, could I give this another shot?" 

"...Go ahead." 

"Shino, do you wanna go out on a date with me?" 

"I am not quite sure what 'dating' entails. The reason is because I have never thought much about it or partaken in it myself." 

"We just go out and do stuff, go fun places, restaurants, stuff like that." 

"We already do those things together." 

"Yeah but...it's different." 

"I don't quite understand. How so?" 

"I...hm." Kiba thought for a moment. "Well, if it's a date, we can hold hands and kiss and stuff." 

"That is not something I would feel comfortable doing in public. Why? Because those are very private activities." 

Holding hands was a private activity. He was too cute. Kiba snorted, but Shino didn't seem to find it funny. 

"What if I just asked you to be my boyfriend, then?" 

When he didn't receive a response, Kiba looked up at Shino. His ears and cheeks were red and he was turned away from him slightly, very clearly embarrassed. 

"That would be alright." 

Kiba laughed louldy, his headache all but forgotten now in his happiness at the turn of events. "You're cute." 

"...There's no reason for you to say such things. The reason is because it is not true-" 

"Bullshit." 

"Kiba-" 

"You're adorable." Kiba reached up and grabbed ahold of Shino's cheeks, squishing them. "Only one who's cuter than you is Akamaru." Akamaru barked, and Kiba's face hurt from smiling so hard. 

"Kiba." Shino's voice sounded funny from having his face smushed in Kiba's hands, and Kiba couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. It sure didn't help his head, but he was so happy that at this point he didn't even care. 

Shino's twitching hands landed shyly on top of his own, removing them from his cheeks, but not letting go. He held onto them nervously, the tips of his ears still pink. 

Kiba stood up, tugging Shino along with him. "I'm still tired as hell, wanna sleep?" 

Shino's head turned towards his bed, then back to Kiba, clearly deep in thought. "You have made my bed stink of garbage as well as of dog." 

"Oh yeah." Kiba scrunched up his nose. Now that his head was a little clearer he realized he did smell pretty bad. He normally wouldn't mind it so much, but Shino probably wasn't a fan. 

"If you would please go take a shower then I will make a makeshift bed on the floor." 

Kiba wiggled his eyebrows. "Wanna join me?" He was kidding, of course, but the look on Shino's face was hilarious. He was as red as the tattoos on Kiba's cheeks. 

"K-Kiba, that's..that's not-" 

Kiba howled in laughter. "I'm kidding! We've only been dating for like, five minutes, chill out. God, you're adorable when you're flustered. I think Hinata's finally got some competition in the 'how red can your face get' department." 

Shino looked irritated with him now, but he found himself not caring in the slightest. It was totally worth it to have seen that look on his face. 

"Ow!" Shino flicked him on the cheek. 

"Mean." He pouted, earning a small quirk of Shino's lips. 

Kiba stood silently for a moment, watching as Shino shooed Akamaru off the bed before gathering his bedding and heading towards the door of his bedroom. "My sleeping attire is in the bottom drawer. You may borrow something from there." He left. 

Kiba walked to the plain wooden dresser and opened the drawer. Shino's clothes. He was actually shocked when he realized, thinking about it, that, despite how long the two of them had been friends, they had never once worn one another's clothes. 

First time for everything, he supposed. He had absolutely no objections to wearing Shino's clothes. 

He sifted through the drawer before pulling out something soft and warm, leaving it much messier than he found it. Shino would get over it. Life was too short for perfectly folded clothes. 

It was 4:34 A.M. when Kiba returned from his shower, and Shino had created what he hoped was a very comfortable sleeping area for the two of them on the floor. He'd gathered all of his extra blankets, as well as his pillows, and made what he felt almost resembled a nest. He was a bit apprehensive about sleeping there with Kiba, given the new context of their relationship, but he was excited as well. 

He had never imagined that Kiba actually felt the same way, especially after yesterday afternoon. 

He was still a bit afraid, if he was going to be honest with himself. Afraid that he would be hurt again. He never desired to feel the way he had felt last night, ever again. The way his heart had ached, the horrible, dizzying feeling in his brain, it was terrible. 

But Kiba had seemed genuine, this time. He seemed as though he was actually sorry. He seemed as though, during his speech to Shino, that he was pouring his heart out to him, leaving nothing unbared. 

So for now, he would trust him. He was going to listen to his heart for once, rather than his head. 

"Man, that shower felt great. I feel like a new man!" 

When Shino looked up at Kiba, he felt his heart stutter. 

He was well aware that Kiba would be wearing his clothes, as he had told him to do so himself. Seeing him in them, however, was not something he was exactly prepared for.

The dark brown fleece sweatshirt complimented Kiba's hair and eyes, as well as made him look like what was perhaps the most huggable thing Shino had ever seen. He looked so soft and so warm, and Shino wanted to hold him in his arms more than he ever thought humanly possible. His hair was damp and messy, towel dried, and Shino wanted to run his fingers through it. 

He wasn't normally a very tactile person, this was because he wasn't raised to be nearly as close with other humans as many others were. Because of this sometimes he found touch to be overwhelming. Touching others, and even more so being touched, made his senses go haywire. 

Even still, he'd never desired to touch someone else or to be touched more than he did at this moment. 

"Shino?" Kiba laughed awkwardly, and Shino realized he'd been staring. "I know I look real sexy in this, but you gotta pick your jaw up off the floor, man." 

"My jaw is still firmly attached." 

Kiba snorted and sauntered over to the makeshift bed, turning the lamp off before climbing in. 

"You look very cute." Shino heard the words leave his own mouth before he could put much thought into them. He hadn't meant for that to slip out, and he felt his cheeks heating up with a blush. 

"Like a teddy bear, huh?" Kiba grinned at him, and Shino felt his face heat up. He felt like a child again, completely infatuated with his former teammate.

"Or a puppy." 

Kiba's smile grew in size. "Even better!" 

Upon joining him in their 'bed', Kiba had made sure to leave a space between them. He was clearly conscious of Shino's usual desire for personal space, and for that he was grateful. But, at the moment, he didn't want personal space, he wanted Kiba. 

But his pride and bashfulness prevented him from outright asking to 'cuddle', or 'snuggle'. He could not possibly use those words to ask for what he wanted. 

"I am cold." It wasn't really a lie. He did always run cold, after all. 

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yes." 

Kiba scooted a little closer, within reach. Shino was still apprehensive about reaching out to him, however. The idea was both terrifying and overwhelming at the same time. 

"You gotta tell me what you want, Shino." 

"I.." He swallowed audibly. He had never expected to be in this position, so he'd never thought too much about how he would deal with it when the time came. Things were moving so quickly, and he was overwhelmed. "I would..." 

"'C'mon...." 

"I do not wish to say it out loud." 

Kiba snorted out a laugh, and Shino tensed up. "You're ridiculous. Cmere." 

Shino felt all of the tension leave his body the moment Kiba's arms wrapped around him. His insects even seemed to respond positively as well. Their anxious buzzing that had been nearly nonstop lately due to his stresses finally seemed to come to a standstill, and they settled. 

Kiba was warm, and he was soft, and Shino never wanted to move from in between his arms ever again.

It took him a moment, but he finally returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around Kiba and reaching up to run his fingers through his still damp hair. 

Kiba arched into his touch. "Ah...feels nice." He had a dopey smile on his face, and Shino's heart grew even fonder. "Don't think anyone's pet my hair like that since my mom did it when I was real little." 

Shino's nose scrunched up. "I'd like to not be compared to your mother." 

Kiba laughed, burying his face in Shino's collar and squeezing him tighter. It was nice. 

They were silent for a while, Shino continued to run his fingers through Kiba's hair, minding the tangles. He'd do well to brush it more often. 

After a while Kiba spoke, still not lifting his head. His words tickled Shino's chest, and he had to focus quite hard to calm the sudden buzzing of his insects under his skin. 

"You know...I'm real sorry I made you cry and feel like shit earlier and everything, but...." He pulled back, clearly doing his best to look Shino in the eyes, despite the fact he was still wearing his sunglasses in his darkened bedroom. "I'm kinda glad things went the way they did today. Dunno if either of us would have had the balls to step up otherwise." 

"...It's unnecessary to use such crude language to convey your point." Shino was glad too, despite the pain he had gone through up until that point and the small ache he still had in his heart. He couldn't imagine that getting together in a way that was anything less than dramatic would suit them. "But I agree. Why? Because it is worth it, in the end, I believe." 

"Good." Kiba kept looking at him for a moment, seeming unsure. "Shino...can I...?" He reached up with one hand, lightly resting his fingers on the arm of Shino's glasses, clearly asking if he could remove them.

While Kiba had seen his eyes many times before, whether by accident or in times Shino was feeling a bit more relaxed, the new context of their relationship made him a bit afraid. His glasses and goggles were his security blanket, even moreso than the many layers of clothes he wore on a daily basis. Sure, their main purpose was protection for his extremely sensitive eyes, but, because he'd been required to wear them his entire life they had become the best way for him to mask his emotions as well. They did say the eyes were the window to the soul, and he preferred to keep his soul protected.

But Kiba said he had beautiful eyes. And Kiba said he loved him. So he slowly reached up, removing them himself before folding them and setting them on the floor beside them. 

When he met Kiba's eyes again he found nothing but fondness there. "That's better." Kiba reached up and rubbed a calloused thumb across Shino's cheek, right under his eye. "Wanted to be able to look you in the eye when I tell you I love you." 

Shino felt himself tense up, both from his nerves and the fact he felt like his thoughts and feelings were totally bared. He did his best not to avert his eyes. 

"I love you." 

Despite the events of the day, when he looked into Kiba's eyes, there was sincerity there, and he believed him. 

"I love you too." 

It was 5:15 A.M. on a Saturday morning, and Shino felt as if it might shape up to be one of the best days of his life, despite how the night before had gone. He was truly happy, for the first time in a while, and he felt as though nothing could ruin this moment. 

Except for perhaps a 200 pound dog flopping down on top of him.