Archive of Our Own

Like most of the time on Asgard, the weather was nice and pleasant. That's why Loki choose to settle down under a tree. The view of the gardens were particularly beautiful from were he sat.

Apart from the scenery, it was calm here. That was why he liked it so much. No servants running, no warriors yelling and battling, no political debates going wild. Just peace and quiet.

He turned a page of the book he was reading. It was about asgardian dishes, nothing very important nor interesting. But he needed to keep his mind busy.

Or rather keeping some thoughts away.

He sighed. Even with this way, he couldn't stop thinking about him. His brother. Someone he should not assimilate with those kind of impure thoughts.

Loki rubbed his eyes. It has been so for quite some time now. Maybe years.

He knew he always had some strong affection for Thor. Since they were little, he was always glued to him, always played with him only. Joined him in his bed when he was afraid of nightmares. His only friends were Thor's friends, maybe it was still the case.

But now, things were a bit different. Even if they were still attached to each other, their paths had quite parted. Where Loki had dedicated himself in studies and the learning of magic, Thor had choose fighting. He was basically always at the training grounds with his beloved friends, and Loki had found himself locked up in libraries, sometimes with his mother or preceptors, sometimes alone. Just like now. He knew Thor had lessons too, but they were surely not of the same subject. The time when they had lessons together as children was far away now. And out of pride, Loki didn't come to see Thor anymore after a nightmare.

But ironically, spending less time with his brother had made the affection he had for him grow. And it was when Loki found himself no longer thinking of only spending time with Thor, but dreaming of cuddling and kissing him he discovered he was damned.

He tried to make those disturbing feelings dissapear more than one time - at first he thought they weren't real -, but rapidly understood it wasn't possible. They just kept coming to him, over and over. And if it were not in a conscious way in the daytime, they came to him in his dreams at night. He had read lots of books to get ride of them, but no spell can make love disappear.

So here he was, hiding these thoughts, and handling them alone. Because of course he didn't tell anyone about it. Apart from being embarrassed, he knew a secret didn't stay a secret for long in this palace.

He was still looking at his book, but he wasn't reading anymore. He was thinking of Thor, again. He wondered where he was. Probably at the training ground, or feasting and eating somewhere with his friends. His heart warmed up by the simple thought of him smiling. Loki found him so beautiful when he did. Thor was always warm, both metaphorically and literally. He remembered loving to be in his arms when he himself was, for an unknown reason, always so cold.

Thor always knew how to cheer everyone up. Egoistically, Loki had a lot of times wanted Thor to smile only at him.

"What are you doing here? Are you reading? What are you reading?"

Lost in his thoughts, Loki got startled by his brother's appearance. He didn't see him coming. He tried to keep it serious, and hid perfectly his troubled thoughts.

"Nothing that interests you. What do you want? Have you finished your training? What are you even doing here?"

"That's a lot of questions," Thor remarked as he sat by him on the grass. "It is true I have not seen the gardens for quite a long time. The flowers are really beautiful. Mother chose them, didn't she?"
"What is it that you want?" he retorted, his eyes on his book as to flee his stare.

"Am I to have a reason to spend time with my brother?"

Loki just shrugged his shoulders.

"I just wondered what you were up to," Thor continued. "I didn't see you for a few days. I missed you."

It were words like these that made Loki's heart shiver. But those words were spoken out of pure brotherly affection, if not by simple attention.

"Well it is kind of you. I am very well if you're so worried of this."

Thor looked at the book Loki had in hands.

"You are always reading. Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"And you, you should read more. When was the last time you touched a book?"

"Well..."

Thor thought, but couldn't come up with an answer.

"See," Loki simply said. "That is why you are so stupid. You clearly lack knowledge. And yet you want to replace father, who carries immeasurable wisdom."

Thor could have replied, even yelled at him - he often did it in reality -, but this time he just remained silent. In fact he seemed hurt, and was looking elsewhere.

"I don't want to replace father," Thor finally said, with a child-like pouting tone, even if in reality his words were more than serious.

"You are the older, and he seems to prefer you. You will replace him on the throne. It is the same thing."

"I don't know. Of course I want to be king, because it is a great and prestigious place, but I never really thought about it."

Loki rolled his eyes. Himself, on the contrary, had thought too much about it.

Then he had an idea.

For the first time since Thor got here, he let down his book and looked at him.

"Say, if it was possible... would you lend me the throne?"

Thor already seemed bored by the subject.

"We still have time to think about it."

"Time passes faster than you think."

"Why would you ask me this question anyway? Plus it is father's choice. We'll see at the time who he'll choose."

"Father once said that only one of us could ascend the throne, but that we were both born to be kings. So obviously I am the worthier of it. I know politics and justice. I read a lot about it. You only know how to defend a kingdom, not how to rule it. Plus I am patient and you are impulsive ; you would cause a disaster in the realms due to some stupid pride", he assured.

Thor didn't pay attention to these words. He just smiled at him, trying to think in a simpler way.

"Then I will protect Asgard, and you'll make decisions. Isn't it better and easier this way?"

"You mean... as if we were both kings, or king and queen?"

"Yes, and then both of us will be satisfied. I have a strongly disinterested in political debates and assemblies. I am much more willing to go to battle than to make some hard or boring decision. I leave that to you, brother."

Loki just blinked out of surprise. He didn't think it would be so easy. He stayed happy for a second, then thought of something else, and became negative again.

"Our people won't stand having two brothers being kings or king and queen," Loki assured, returning to his book. "It would be... Weird for them. For our parents. For everyone."

"Why? It won't be the first time in the realms' history two brothers reigned together. Well, I think so. Would it really be that weird?"

Two brothers together. Of course. Loki wanted to slap himself. Why did his first thought was seeing them as husbands or husband and wife? He was completely stupid.

"I... I guess not, finally."

Thor continued to smile at him. He was strangely enthusiastic about the idea.

It was as seeing Thor's beautiful blue eyes laid on him Loki realised he couldn't continue keeping these feelings to himself. He had to tell him.

But how? Just saying those special words? He would scare him. He could do it more subtly, but it would still be awkward.

He bit his lip. He had no idea how to proceed. But he couldn't keep being silent about it. It was too heavy to bear.

"Thor, listen. I... I wanted to tell you something. I... have great affection for you," he managed to nearly mutter.

He could feel his cheeks burning. He didn't even know if Thor had heard him. He didn't care.

"What's that all of a sudden? I, too, think the world of you, brother."

"You don't understand."

"Is affection this complex?"

"Indeed it is."

He already knew his brother loved him. But he wanted more. He wanted to cuddle with him.
Kiss him. Do things with him he was too embarrassed to even think of it again. But that was surely not something he would evoke aloud, even if it would be clearer and direct.

"Are you afraid I forgot you? Because I am too busy with training these times?" Thor asked worriedly as he put his arm around his shoulders. "It is true I only see you at dinner these days..."

Loki's cheeks reddened at the touch and the rapprochement. He had to resist with all his soul not to take him in his arms.

"Forget it," Loki just said.

"We could spend more time together if it pleases you. Starting now, even. What do you want to do?"

"Just forget it, I said," Loki repeated. He then stood up with his book, and began to walk fast in the palace's direction. "I'll see you another time. I have something to do."

He lied. He just wanted to get out of here. His heart was pounding and his cheeks were bright red. He couldn't support the torture anymore.

He didn't even look at Thor's expression, and kept walking. He found himself in the palace's corridors, he let out a deep breath. Him who was usually so cold, why did his heart and cheeks, and even his whole body, felt so utterly hot?

He took some other breaths, and continued walking. He had failed his confession. But at the same time, what kind of confession was this...?! Maybe it was a sign of destiny. Maybe if he failed it was for good.

Even if he thought that, his heart still couldn't bear keeping his feelings silent. He clearly had to let them out.

Even if it destroys their relationship. Thor had the right to know.

Lost in his thoughts, and his eyes on the floor, he bumped into someone. His eyes went wide when he saw the woman before him.

"Mother! I'm sor-"

Frigga looked at him, as much surprised to see him here, and gave him a little smile.

"It is nothing. Are you okay? Where were you going so fast?"

He couldn't tell her he was running away from Thor.

"I was just... reading in the gardens. I went to pick another book. Say, mother... can I ask you a question?"

Of course he wasn't going to tell her everything. But he needed help and his thoughts cleared, and he was certainly not going to go to his father or the telltale servants for it.

"Everything you want, my son."

"How did you confess your feelings to father, or he did to you?" Loki asked directly.

"Why sudden interest in this story?" she chuckled.

"It is nothing but curiosity", he half-lied, because of course he was still curious about it.

"Well," Frigga began with a sweet smile, "It was a long time ago. But the thing I remember, and I'll always remember, is that your father gifted me a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers you could find in all the realms. And as he offered it to me, he was quite embarrassed, a sentiment you rarely witness from the Allfather."

Loki was a bit marveled. It was romantic and dreamy, just like he imagined it. At the same time he couldn't see a more perfect couple than his own parents.

"Did you wish to ask me something else?" Frigga asked in front of his silence.

Loki stayed silent for a moment still before admitting, "In fact, I asked you this because I do... I do have feelings for someone. But I don't know how to show or tell them without ruining the relationship we already have."

"Could I know who this person is?"

"One of Thor's friends," he straight-up lied.

He could have said 'no one', but he didn't want to raise suspicions or sound too childish.

"Well then you could ask your brother to help you."

'That would be difficult,' he thought. "I don't want to bother him."

Frigga smiled, and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I don't know who this person you love is, but they are surely lucky. You needn't worry, my dearest. No one could ever deny the love of a bright and beautiful young boy and girl like you."

He knew his mother was exaggerating, because of course all mothers say those things to their child, but he couldn't help but admit those words boosted his confidence.

"Then what should I do to let him know he is important for me?"

Frigga thought for a few seconds.

"Perhaps you could find what he has interested for, and gift him a present. Such attention is always welcome and can be very significative."

"Like father did to you?"

"Yes. You can see it has worked."

"But he will take it as some sign of affection, not a sign of love..."

"It is just a step. You have to be patient in love."

"I am. But I just waited too long. More would be a waste."

At least it was how he felt it.

"Try this, and see how he reacts."

"Thank you," he finally said. "I'll try."

He smiled at her, and after thanking her one more time, left her to go to his room. Once there, he left his book on a shelf and throw himself on the bed, his hands on his face.

What present could please Thor? In his eyes, his brother loved nothing else than swords and armors. Or maybe food too. Things he already had as much as he wanted.

Loki wanted to gift him something special, something he could not find that easily. He first thought of jewelry, because he himself found it unique and beautiful, but he couldn't imagine his brother wearing some of them outside of the festivities the palace hosts. And maybe he would mock him.

He thought again. Thor loved his magic - when it wasn't used to trick him of course. Maybe he could do some nice and pretty illusion for him, like fireworks or making flowers appear.

Or maybe making something else appear... he just had an idea.

~ ☘ ~

When Loki found Thor, he found him in the most unpredictable place possible. In the palace's library, seated by a table with a book open. He had looked for him everywhere, from the training grounds to the kitchens, from his chambers to the servants quarters. If a young servant hadn't tell him she has seen Thor go this way, Loki wouldn't even have found him.

"What are you doing here, brother?" Loki asked as he approached him. "It is quite unusual to see you in such a place."

"You always say I'm idiot and lacking of knowledge. I wanted to prove you wrong. Plus, I figured out you would come here at one point, and that we could spent time together this way..."

This sentence pleased Loki but he didn't show it. He just crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you seriously reading a book? Do you really remember how to read?"

"Stop mocking me! I had lessons when I was younger and I still have some sometimes. My interests just changed. But now I have taken some in these books."

"And what are these books about? I doubt there are of philosophy or diplomaty."

"...Weapons," Thor admitted.

"How surprising," Loki rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I was looking for you. I have... something to give you."

As Thor raised a bow, Loki sat by him, taking a profound breath. He then looked at him seriously.

"I remembered you loved snakes, so, here you are."

Loki opened his hand, and in a greenish smoke appeared a small snake. If he first was marveled by the trick, Thor then looked at the slim and green creature with suspiciousness.

"Is he really not dangerous?"

"Do you fear snakes now?"

"No, I fear your mischief."

"Well ! Don't you even trust me?"

"The last time I saw a snake like this one, it transformed into yourself and you stabbed me."

"Well I am right in front of you now."

At first hesitant, Thor decided to finally trust him and took the snake from Loki's hand to his arm. As soon as the animal's round eyes met his own, he began to chuckle.

"He seems nice! I should give him a name."

"He's just an illusion. It will disappear if I decide so."

"Don't make him then. He will be my new pet, I'll bring him everywhere. If he is an illusion does that mean swords passes through it?"

"It's not that simple," Loki said while rolling his eyes, but in reality he was touched by his brother's happiness.

"And is his bite venomous? Can I throw him at my enemies? Or does his poison is also an illusion and is therefore ineffective?"

"Just shut up and appreciate my gift."

Thor gave him a warmful smile.

"I truly appreciate it. Thank you."

"It is nothing. I just wanted... to show you some affection. To show you how much I cared for you."

He couldn't believe he was saying that out loud. Again.

Thor took his hand, his smile still on his lips. Loki's heart fluttered at the warm touch and at the sight of his gorgeous smile. He couldn't believe his heart was so sensitive to so small attentions.

"I do not care if this gift is an illusion, because your affection surely isn't. And the love I have for you isn't neither. Thank you so much, Loki," he smiled, before kissing one of his cheeks.

He couldn't help but blush at it.

"You do not know the meaning of the words you speak, brother," Loki said while pushing him away.

"Of course I do. You are very important to me."

Loki looked down. Again, he was feeling ashamed of staining the innocent and brotherly affections Thor had for him with his impure thoughts. At first he wanted to admit everything to him after giving him his present, but now he was not sure. Telling Thor he had those inappropriate feelings for him would just ruin the moment.

The worst was that he was certain Thor wouldn't even be mad. In fact Loki was more embarrassed about his own feelings than the perspective of Thor knowing them.

"This is why I want you by me on the throne," Thor continued in front of his silence. "I cannot live without you by my side."

That really was too much. Loki's heart was pounding too much.

"Can I see the book you were reading?" Loki asked out of nowhere.

He just wanted to change the subject. To think of something else.

Thor looked at him curiously, wondering why this sudden question, but didn't ask for an answer and handed him the book. It was open on a drawing of some primitive midgardian sword.

"You were looking at those mortals weapons?" Loki asked with a serious tone, though his cheeks were still red.

"I was curious. Plus if we are to make war to them one day we must now their armaments."

"What a great decision for a future king. We should always prepare for war, shouldn't we? Though I don't think we should fear Midgard. They are far too busy fighting wars against each other to even mind us. Reminds me of the ancient times in the nine realms father told us about."

"So are we no better than them then?"

"We are, now. We have evolved, and they haven't. They are mortals after all. Almost as barbaric, incivilized and insignificant as the frost giants or the dark elves."

Thor said nothing - but maybe he was thinking a lot -, so Loki turned some pages of manuscript text to expose another drawing.

"Here are other weapons they use on Midgard to kill each other. It might interest you."

Thor looked at the precise representation with curiosity. He wondered if the artist who drew them had the chance to go to Midgard to observe their weapons.

"They have swords, like us", Loki continued, "but they are of far worse quality."

"But they kill as much."

"You should consider war isn't always barbaric. It is about patience and strategy too. Don't you remember father telling us about the battles he lead? He didn't fought in a barbaric way like you would. He used strategy."

Thor was beginning to wonder if Loki really saw him as such a brutal warrior. Maybe he wasn't wrong, but the exaggeration still hurt a little.

"I know all of that," Thor assured. "And I leave that to you. Do mortals also have strategy?"

"Their kings and queens use some, sometimes, yes. And not only in war. They also have shields like these," Loki added wile showing him the drawing of a midgardian soldier.

"They are not very fancy. Are they made of wood?"

"Yes, but mortals have probably evolved since the time this book was made."

As he was explaining things to Thor, Loki didn't realized how much his brother had gotten closer to him. Their shoulders were pressing against each other and Thor was so close to him he could feel his body warmth. Loki breathed in a try to calm down his thoughts.

"This is so interesting. Now I want to learn how midgardians fight their wars." Thor said.

"You'll just have to read some books. You'll surely find some, this library is gigantic."

"But it is too cold here. Why don't we go to your chambers? We'll be better there."

"Why not," Loki responded, a bit taken aback by the suggestion.

He looked at Thor sitting up and going to shelves to choose some other books. It took him quite a time, and when he had five of them in his hands, he came back to Loki.

"Are they all on the subject of warfare?" Loki asked.

"You'll see," Thor said with a smile.

Whitout asking more questions, Loki sat up in turn and walked out of the library, Thor following him with the little snake laid on his pile of books.

When they reached Loki's chambers, a few minutes later, Loki began to panick as he saw the book that was wide open on his bed. A book he read last night, about not-so-innocent subjects, and carelessly forgot to put away. In a rush, he went to close it and put it rapidly under his bed. He hoped his brother saw nothing, but he was wrong.

"What is this book?"

"Nothing. It is a book of the blackest of magic," he lied, "and contains dangerous spells. You have to take care of it carefully."

"Then why were you reading it?"

He seemed more worried than curious.

"I just wanted to educate myself. And I must be prepared to defend Asgard if I have to."

How many lies it was just to kept him from embarrassment.

"Then it is not so dangerous, or you wouldn't read it or keep it in your chambers."

"Stop minding about it."

"Won't you show it to me?"

Loki was beginning to feel some exasperation.

"Why would I? You can't even do magic."

Thor looked down, and his hands crisped around the books he was holding.

"But I have interest in it..."

"Forget it."

"But please! I want you to show me what interests you. Show me the book."

It was true Loki himself said he was patient, but in fact it really depended of the situation.
"Stop asking for it!"

"I just wanted to see what magic you were learning. I know you lied and this one isn't so dangerous. Why would you learn such thing after all?"

"To educate myself, I said." he made a dagger appear in his hand out of impulsion. "Or shutting up a too curious and annoying brother."

"You won't do that", Thor said while rolling his eyes. "Just put that away."

He looked at him. Thor was provoking him, at least it was how he felt it. Really, he won't do it?

Without thinking more, his stabbed him in his rib like it was nothing. It immediately cut Thor's breath as he opened wide his eyes of shock.

"W... Why?..." he gasped, the pain suddenly coming to him.

"You are so naive, brother. It's like a punishment." he laughed a little. "Come one, it's nothing. You'll heal fast."

The dagger disappeared, but the wound surely did not. Thor almost fell to the ground, but he managed to contain himself. He was breathing heavily, his blooded hand pressed on the injury. He locked eyes with Loki. The pain was unbearable, but Thor didn't know if the worst one was the injury's or his heart's.

Loki could see the hurting in his brother's eyes. His hand began to shiver as he realized. What had he done?

"Thor, I–"

"Do not speak," he snapped. "I understand. You do not want of me here."

"Is that really what you think?!"

"How could I think otherwise?! You stabbed me, Loki ! Again!!"

"You really are so touchy! I'll heal you if this is what you want!" Loki said angrily, reaching for bandages in a drawer.

"Do not bother."

Saying no more but wincing because of the pain, Thor began to leave the room.

"Where are you going?!" Loki hissed.

"To my chambers."

"And the books you wanted us to read together?"

Thor responded nothing, but his silence meant a lot.

Loki clenched his fists.

"Fine! You are so touchy and immature! Go to your chambers and don't even come back here!!"

It was when he was really surrounded by silence that Loki calmed down. At least from his anger.
He laid his eyes on the books scattered on the ground and on the little green snake, still here and looking lost.

Really, what had he done? He wanted to confess, but he had done the exact opposite. He could have followed Thor, but he had the feeling it would just make things worse.

He turned back and throw himself on his bed in a dramatic way. Then he began to panick. What if Thor goes to see their father? Or even the healers? They will surely tell him.

He buried his head in his pillow. He was so screwed. He hated himself.

~ ☘ ~

A contrary to what Loki was thinking, Thor did not went to see their father. Or even the healers. He had just done as he said : he went to his chambers.

His injury was hurting so bad. He sat on his bed, retaining himself as much as possible not to cry.
He couldn't believe Loki stabbed him again. And for no reason. Just because he was annoyed? Was it even enough to hurt him?

He lied on his bed, his hand still pressing his bleeding wound. He wasn't losing too much blood, so he guessed it wasn't that bad. It still hurt like hell nonetheless.

He laid his eyes on the gardens and the city above he could see from his window. How could Loki do that to him? Didn't he had say, a moment ago, that he cared for him? He really couldn't understand.

Though it wasn't really the moment to think about it, his cheeks flushed a little at the memory of Loki's smile. He wanted to see him smile more. What could he do for that? And why wasn't he able of being mad at him after what he did?

He just loved him too much. In a way he could never express it. How would Loki react if he knew Thor had thought of him in a way he shouldn't?
He would surely do more than stab him.

Yes, he admitted it, he loved his brother more than he was needed too. He didn't even remember when it begun. Maybe it was in their early teenage years, or maybe later. In all cases it was not to long ago. But it was strong.

He wanted to hold him, comfort him like he did before, when he had nightmares. But Loki didn't came anymore, even though Thor was sure he still had some on occasions. It made him a bit sad.

And lastly came the less innocent thoughts. In his dreams sometimes. Was it the Norns tormenting him?

He appreciated it so much when they talked like that in the gardens, and in the library. He loved listening to Loki speak about subjects he was passionate about. That's why he wanted to speak more about magic and spells with him. He loved to see Loki's eyes sparkling.

When Loki had accepted they ruled on Asgard together, his heart had skipped a beat. He was just so happy at the perspective. Having Loki by his side, forever.

He had said many times to Loki how much affection he had for him, but he never seemed to really care. That's how Thor felt it. Anytime he would touch his shoulder, his hand, be too close to him, Loki would just step back.

Was he too delusional of thinking the feeling he grew could be reciprocal? He didn't know how he could ever tell him. He was as cowardly in love as he was brave in war. And after what happened, he didn't know what to do. He wasn't mad at Loki, but was still bitter about the act. About the fact he broke his trust again. About the fact he could not understand him.

He sighed. He couldn't do nothing. He didn't even know if he could understand Loki anymore, even though he badly wanted to.

Gods, the wound hurt so much.

His thoughts and suffering were interrupting by some knocks on the door. Was it Loki coming to him? He didn't have the strength to cope with it.

"Thor, are you there? I had a question to ask- Oh my!" Frigga exclaimed as she saw the blood stain on his rib. What is this? What happened? Are you hurt?!"

Thor just winced from the pain as he observed his panicked mother come to him.

"It is... It is nothing," he stuttered.

"How can you say such a thing with this terrible face? Show me."

A bit hesitant at first, he took his hand off the wound, wincing again.

"It doesn't look too severe," Frigga said looking at it rapidly, as she sat above him on the bed. "It's not in a serious area nor it seems too profound. Who did this to you?"

"No one."

"No one? You are going to tell me this wound just appeared out of nowhere?"

Thor just said nothing, looking elsewhere out of little embarrassement. As much as Loki was in fault here and hurt him - and not only physically, he didn't want to put a blame on him and to let it result to a big argument with their father. Maybe he was too nice and stupid. Or maybe he just didn't like conflict.

"And why did you not come to me or to the healers?"

He stayed silent still. If he had done this, surely the news would have come to their father, and to all the palace. And for him it was nothing. He had worst at training. Well, he thought this, but the pain really was unbearable in reality.

"You have as much pride as your father," continued Frigga, grabbing a tissue from one of the nightstand's drawer as well as a glass of water that was laid on it. "You should not feel shameful of hurting yourself at training."

In fact she was saying this on purpose, and was looking for his reaction. It did not disappoint her.

"I know, but it happened. I admit it is my fault, I was not careful," Thor responded, thinking about how it was ironic that his brother was the god of lies and yet he himself didn't stop saying some in the last minutes.

Frigga sigh a bit, in reality quite amused by them, because of course she recognized them.

"My son, I know when you are lying. Tell me the truth."

"But it is the truth!"

Yeah, he really wanted to protect his brother. Or maybe his mother was right, and that he was quite proud. It felt better for him to admit he hurt himself in some perillous training than with a single little knife he couldn't even stop.

He winced again and let out a sound of displeasure as his mother pressed the wet tissue on his wound to clean it. It was cold and just intensified his pain.

"It was Loki, wasn't it?"

He gasped, and was unable to say anything.

"Your training was this morning, and this wound is fresh", she continued. "Plus there is only your friends or your brother that you would protect like this. And I remember it is not the only time he does that to you... was it intentional?"

"Yes", he simply said, looking elsewhere.

"Why did he do it? Have you said some unpleasant thing to him? You now he can be sensitive sometimes."

"I don't know. I said nothing. It's true. He just stabbed me, like this, out of nowhere. Like he always does, he's like very nice, and he does something hurtful and stupid for no reason."

Frigga stayed silent for a moment, and it was unusual of her. She finally spook again, her eyes still on the wound she was cleaning.

"I am not going to ask you to understand him. What he did and does to you is very hurtful. But I think he can't always control himself. He is still young, and has yet to learn. Maybe you can help him understand his mistakes, or maybe this boy he loves can."

This time, Thor was taken aback, and rapidly forgot the firsts sentences.

"The boy he loves? Which boy?!"

It was quite a change of subject, but Frigga figured it was just out of curiosity of him, and that speaking of a less serious and more happy subject would help him relax.

"I don't know. He has yet not told me. He just informed me it was one of your friend. It is true that I am a bit curious ; I wonder who it is. Maybe Fandral? They seem quite close sometimes."

"I guess..."

He tried as hard as possible to hide the jealousy growing in his heart.

"You are close to your friends. You should help him. Plus they are all respectable, and would become very good princes in the future if they are to marry your brother."

Just this thought made him sick. He couldn't imagine Loki in someone else's arms, even less married to them.

"Now stay still," continued Frigga. "I succeeded to stop the blood loss, but I am going to try to heal your injury a bit and to relieve your pain."

"Are you going to use your magic?"

Thor's beginning of jealousy had diseappeared at the thought of seeing his mother's magic. It always looked beautiful and felt warm to him. He loved it.

"Yes, just a little. Seeing one of my sons in pain hurts me more than anything, you should not that," she said with a reassuring smile.

Thor laid his eyes on his mother's hand as it was starting to glow in a yellowish and bright color as she was touching his wound. He already felt less pain.

"Is everything okay? Apart from this injury, I feel you troubled, my son."

Thor swallowed. He knew his mother could sense a lot of things, but could she also sense that?

"There is nothing." Here is was lying again.

"Don't you want to talk to me? You know I will understand."

This time he choose to tell the truth.

"It is only that... I can't understand Loki."

Frigga sighed again.

"Your brother has quite a... unique character. I know he can be hurtful. But you have to understand it is his nature, and for now, he can't always control it. I now you mean a lot to him, and that one day he will realize how unfair it is to treat you this way. He has to mature and learn. And you, you have to learn not to provoke him, otherwise it will be worse. You too, you have to mature. Perhaps you should try to talk to him, and let him know how you really feel. This may make him realise how far he goes."

"I already told him! He doesn't understand, nor does he seems to care. I don't understand why it is so different between what he says to me and how he acts. When you love someone, you are not supposed to want them hurt."

"Tell me, have you yet learned to control your mighty powers?"

"Not really... but it depends. If I am training with Mjölnir it is usually fine, but particularly when I am angry, It happens I lose control of it easily."

"See? It is quite the same thing for him. It may be stronger than him. Like he needs to let it out, just like you need to let it out when you are angry. You two have to help each other. I know it is difficult, but you are his older brother, you must guide him. The next time he tries to hurt you like this, be careful and try to dodge it. He will probably grow tired of it."

Thor really wanted to trust his mother, and knew she had good intentions, but it was hard believing all this. His own anger could be the source of his lack of control, yes. But he just couldn't see how Loki could even lost control of his mischief manners.

"I still don't understand him."

"Maybe it will come with time."

The pain was slowly vanishing away. Thor felt a bit relieved. But his heart did not. He crossed his arms.

"Well if Loki loves someone that much, good for him. At least he isn't bearing the treason of someone he cares about like I am."

"My poor boy. Don't let this stain your heart. And I know it feels like it but the world 'treason' is a strong word for your brother's act."

"My heart was already hurt anyway..."

"Could it be you are unlucky in love...?" Frigga asked with both curiousity and compassion.

"It happens that I am. Someone I care for just deceived me. It's nothing more. I also feel like my love in unrequited."

He didn't mention he was talking about Loki this time too.

"I am sorry to hear about it. Are you sure of it?"

"Pretty sure. This person even seems to run away from me. And they aren't close to me as before..."

"It is sad but these things happen. To you still feel pain? About your injury."

"Less."

Frigga addressed him a sweet smile as she stopped her magic and kiss his forehead.

"You must rest a while. Not too long, don't worry. If it bleeds again, call me or go to the healers."

"Will it leave a scar?"

"Maybe. I do not know."

Thor looked down.

"Mother, could you please... not tell father about it?"

She sighed. But finally she looked at him.

"All right, I won't. it will remain a secret. But just this time."

"Thank you", he said while giving her a smile.

"Now rest," she said as she stood up. "And forget about that nasty person who broke your heart. You will find thousands of better ones."

"I'll trust you," he assured, even if he did not believe her. He could not imagine himself with someone else than Loki. "Say, could you speak to Loki? He was in his bedchambers when I last saw him."

Frigga looked at him a few seconds. She was heading to the door.

"All right. I will go see him."

Thor smiled at her as he left the room. He was feeling better, in all ways. He was still a bit mentally exhausted by all of this though. It also felt as his mother's magic had spread warthm and comfort all across his body, and it made him want to rest. He lied on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

Meanwhile, Frigga was knocking at Loki's door, which was not so far from Thor's bedchambers. In fact it was a few steps away, in the same corridor.

"Loki? Are you there?"

She opened the door, and found his son lying on his bed, his head buried in a pillow. She suddenly worried. Was he crying?

"What is it?" He mumbled.

He didn't turn to see her.

"What is the matter with your brother?" she asked, not with a scolding tone, but with a soft voice.

His eyes went wide open. His heart began to race. Could she knew about his feelings? What will she say? What will everybody say?

"What... what are you talking about?" he managed to stutter.

"I just saw Thor. And the wound you gave him."

"Oh."

It was kind of ironic, but the mentioning of stabbing his brother was more relieving than the one of loving him.

"Tell me, why did you do this?"

He straighten up and sat on his bed. Fortunately he wasn't crying at all.

"He was asking for it. And I just wanted to. His surprised face was so amusing."

His mother sighed, and went to sit by him on the bed just like she did with Thor a moment before.

"He is your brother, Loki. You should respect him more. Do you know how much this behaviour did hurt him?"

"I do respect him! He just is too susceptible", he said, intentionally omiting the last question.

"My dear son. You seem troubled too. Would you wish to talk to me?"

Loki looked down. He trusted his mother, but saying all this was hard.

"It's... nothing. You mustn't worry."

"My, my. Why are you two so secretive and proud? Do you not trust your poor mother?"

"Of course I do!" he objected, as if he was offended.

"Then tell me. Why is it that you stabbed Thor like this? It can't be of pure mischief. I know you and I know your acts always hide something more serious than amusement. Well, most of the time."

Loki stayed silent for a short moment, hesitating. He seemed like he was going to say something sincere at first, but then decided to continue as he was.

"Like I said, I couldn't resist. He annoyed me, and he was looking at me with his stupid face, and it was even better after I stabbed him, he was so shocked it was funny. And it is his fault, he is a warrior, he is supposed to dodge a simple knife like that. And he's also stupid for being too naive. He never thinks, or then he thinks with his muscles. I find it quite pathetic sometimes," he added while crossing his arms.

"Loki..."

He laid his eyes on his mother. She looked a bit sad, and this time this kind of face was absolutely not amusing. He bit his lip.

"The truth is... I was annoyed, yes, but I also just wanted Thor to mind me. To look at me. He is always with his friends, training, laughing, ignoring me. He isn't playing with me anymore like when we were children. When I stabbed him, at least he was looking at me in the eyes, and thinking only of an act I did to him. I just... wanted his attention. I guess."

Frigga still looked sad, though comprehensive too. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"My son, you should not think this way. You should know you mean a lot for your brother. I remember the day you came into our life, he was but a little child who didn't understand everything, and yet he was so happy to see you. I couldn't keep him away from your cradle. Yes, ever since he met you, he always cared for you and your happiness. Please understand this."

His cheeks flushed a little. He wished so much he could remember this days. It made him realise it probably was love at first sight. First brotherly love, an immense affection, that grew in something more in their teenage years. Something he couldn't distinguished from curse or blessing.

"I understand it, mother. I am sorry."

"It is not to me you have to say those words."

He sighed quietly. He could never say them to Thor.

"I just want you to be nice to each other," Frigga continued. "You both care a lot for the other, but always seem to have some futile conflict. I guess that is how brothers are", she admitted.

"It is true. I care a lot about him," he admitted too while looking away. "In fact I would like to always stay with him. I would like him to be by my side when I'll be on Asgard's throne."

He immediately shut it. Maybe he had said too much.

"And what about this boy you love? What is his place in all of this?" Frigga asked with an amused smile while stroking his hair.

He bit his lip. His lies really were following him.

"W-Well, of course he would be by my side too. But he is no prince, he would have no real power. At least he will not take decisions."

Frigga preferred not to comment on this.

"And did the boy enjoyed the present you offered him?"

"He did. He was really happy."

He looked at the snake - he had put him to sleep with some spell - on top of the books Thor had chose and that he had piled up on a shelf.

"Then I am glad. Mind my curiosity if I ask you what was it?"

"Something I created with my magic. As you taught me."

He didn't want to tell too much again.

"And does he love you in return?"

"I think so." Loki didn't know if it really was a lie. He was just hoping it wasn't. But how could he know now?

"Then I am very happy for you, and looking forward to meet him."

Loki smiled at her. A smile that hid all the lies he told her. A smile than was a lie itself.

"And, well, at least you have more luck in love than your brother," she added with a sigh.

Loki clenched his fist.

"What do you mean?"

"I went to see him before coming to you, I healed him a bit. He admitted to me someone he loved deceived him. Oh, I'm sorry, maybe I am not supposed to tell you that."

His heart began to hurt. Those young women. Surely it was one of them. Thor was always surrounded by some naive maidens. How could he have been so stupid again?

"Please don't tell him I told you," Frigga chuckled, not noticing his irritation. "He must be embarrassed."

"Don't worry about it."

Frigga looked more sincerely at him, at the same time more serious, but still stroking his hair.
"Now you should apologize to your brother. And I hope something like this won't happen again."

"Yes..." He lied again. He couldn't guarantee it. "Then I am going to him."

He stood up, and headed to the door. Before opening it, he took the books on the shelf. He took the snake too.

While he had them in hands, he looked at their title and realized they were all about magic. Why would Thor choose this subject? Loki thought he had chose books about midgardian wars.

"Be careful with him," his mother advised. "his is resting."

"I'll be careful." he assured before leaving.

A minute later he was at Thor's door, and didn't even bother to knock. When he entered the room, Thor looked at him, not even surprised.

"What do you want?" Thor asked bitterly, which was quite unusual of him.

"I... just wanted to apologize. Assure you I cared for you."

"Is this why you stabbed me?"

"Would you believe me if I said 'yes' ?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

Loki approached the bed, let the books fell on it and just sat on it. Not even close to his brother. He even was turning his back on him.

"You want no lie?" Loki said. "The truth is that I did that to you because you annoyed me, yes, but also because I wanted you to look at me."

"That is stupid. We were going to do some reading together."

Loki still didn't face him.

"But I wanted more of you..." he muttered. "I apologize for hurting you," he said louder.

"How could I believe those words are sincere...?"

Loki faced him.

"Are you never going to trust me anymore?! I may be the god of lies, but I surely tell the truth when I assure you I am sorry and love you!"

Thor said nothing. He didn't want to trust him again, but he couldn't. He just looked elsewhere, his cheeks reddening.

"I-I love you more than I should be allowed to," Loki continued, clearly troubled, "and it pains me everyday to see you so happy with others and not with me anymore! These feelings, they feel so poisonous and yet I couldn't bear to let them go! Can I tell you I love you more than anything, that I long for your presence and your attention, that I want you by my side forever, or would you also consider this a lie, brother?!"

Now Thor was looking at him. His mouth was opened, like he was about to say something, but nothing came out.

"Go on, mock me," Loki blurted. "Maybe I deserve it after all."

"I would never do that."

Thor straighten up - his wound hurt a little - and brought his body against his. Loki's heartbeat immediately fasten at the sudden hug. It had been so long since Thor last took him in his arms like this. And so long since he dreamt of it.
He let himself at ease and put his arms around him in return. He was surprised at first, but know he just wanted to savour the embrace's warmth.

"Please, don't ever leave me", Thor breathed while tightening his embrace.

"Why would I?"

Thor let go and looked at him. Loki was so beautiful. So irresistible. His eyes were sparkling, just like he loved it.

"But if these are your feelings then why were you always avoiding my attentions? And... didn't you love someone else?"

His cheeks bright red, Loki looked down to take Thor's hands in his.

"I thought they were just brotherly. It was torturing me. And 'someone else'? It's not like I am close with a lot of people."

"Mother said you were in love with one of my friends." He tried not to remember the jealousy he was feeling.

"You're so stupid. It was just a pretext to ask her for advice."

"Did it work?"

"I hope so..." Loki smiled dreamily. "Are you still mad at me?" He asked while looking at him.

"I am not. But I can't forgive you that easily."

Loki said nothing. He understood. He himself was quite resentful. If someone dared to stab him, he would make their life a living hell in return.

"But let's forget about that for a while," Thor sighed. "Mother was right, I need to rest and I just want that."

Loki watched as Thor lied down against all the cushions. He decided to join him, and without shyness, came to settle against him, his head on his shoulder. Loki then put his arm around him, pressing himself against him more. He wanted more of this warmth, of this pleasant affection.

"Say... why did you only choose books about magic?" Loki asked.

"It is what interests you, and that is more important for me than anything. Plus it interests me to. It fascinates me."

"You are too kind for me."

"It is because I love you."

"Repeat that," Loki commanded.

"I... I love you."

Loki couldn't help himself. He put a hand on his cheek, and pressed his lips against Thor's. He had never tasted anything sweeter. His heart shivered when he felt Thor answering the kiss.
And if it was first full of tenderness, it quickly became a passionate exchange. A thirst both of them had waited too long to satiate.

When they finally parted, they were both out of breath, and they looked at each other with glowing and enamored eyes.

Loki couldn't tell how much he loved him. He would kiss him again, indefinitely. At this point he didn't care anymore if someone could see them - at any rate Heimdall probably saw them at some point -, he just wanted to stay with Thor. Forever.

"Your are beautiful, Loki. I always thought your were so beautiful."

"Stop complimenting me," he laughed.

"Why? I know you love compliments."

Loki just smiled as a response.

Moved by it, Thor gave him a kiss, on the cheek this time.

"So are we looking at these books or not?" He asked. "I am curious."

Without a word, Loki took a book at random and opened it while returning snuggling against Thor. His head laid on his shoulder again, he turned a few pages, while holding it in a way so that Thor could see it too.

"It is a simple spell book. I read it a long time ago. It has great indications."

"Can you cast all the spells it has?"

"Not all. But some didn't interest me, so I didn't learn them."

"I want to see your magic", Thor admitted in a childish tone.

It made Loki smile. It made him smile too.

"All right. Then choose a spell and I'll cast it."

Thor turned a few pages on the book, and stopped at a random one.

"This one."

"It is a spell to make food appear," Loki read. "It's not that hard."

Thor's eyes widened in marvel as he saw a bright green apple appear in Loki's hand. He wanted to ask him if it was possible to eat it, but Loki had already made it disappear.

"They may be some for you too."

"Me? But I don't do magic."

"Here," Loki showed him after turning a few other pages and without listening to him. "They are indications to learn how to start a fire with wood and lighting."

"I already know how to do that. I just have to direct Mjölnir to some wood branch."

"But can't you do it without it? Like with your hands?" And in his hand Loki made the image of a little cloud with little lighting just like he learnt to do some fireworks some time ago.

Thor looked at the tiny cloud and shrugged his shoulders.

"We'll look at another spell," Loki announced as he made the tiny illusion disappear and turn another pages. "Here, this one is about lighting too. It is to learn to do shapes with them."

"If I am to try this, I don't think father will be pleased. He will surely scold me if I cover Asgard's sky with violent thunderbolt in the only purpose of trying to shape them."

"What a shame," Loki just said. Himself was quite please by the perspective. "Why don't you try to do it in your hand first?"

"But I cannot contain and lead my powers without Mjölnir."

"Come on, give it a try. It is nothing big. It's just a few sparks. Are you the god of thunder or not?"

Thor's pride was hurt. He pushed his hand aside a little.

He tried to focus, but nothing came. Loki laughed in spite of himself.

"Stop mocking me!"

"I am not," he said but continued laughing.

It just made Thor a little angry. And like a miracle, it made lighting appear between his fingers. He was himself surprised. So much he didn't even thought of bragging about it.

"I made it..."

"See? Know put them in shape."

"It is impossible!"

Loki looked down on the indications.

"It says you have to concentrate a lot and think about nothing apart from the shape."

"Concentration's not really my thing," Thor said, his eyes still fixing his hand full of bluish electric lights.

Loki looked at them too. It was kind of hypnotic.

"It really is pretty..." Loki admired.

"Just like you are."

"Stop saying nonsense."

The lightings stopped, and Thor turned to him with a sweet smile.

"I am speaking the purest of truths."

He then kissed him again ; he couldn't resist him. Simply.