Work Text:
It’s the summer after ninth grade, and it hits Eugene in the middle of the day out of nowhere, that he is friends with Jonathan test.
It’s not a random observation. They’ve been somewhat begrudging acquaintances since they were twelve, interactions limited by Eugene’s stubborn crush on Johnny’s older sisters that he’s thankfully gotten over.
The tips of his ears still turn red with embarrassment whenever he thinks about it, but Johnny always only ever teases him about it and it’s enough to let him know there aren’t any true hard feelings or resentment.
He’s somewhat of a regular at the Test house, he stays for dinner sometimes, spends the night when his mom is being a bit too much. He is intimately familiar with Johnny’s bedroom. The old action movie posters, bean bag chairs, dog bed, and dirty clothes piles that always seem to multiply. He’s helped clean it several times-though it never seems to stick- and that’s where it hits him.
“You’re like, my only friend”.
It’s a somewhat tame day for them. Nothings exploded, no ones come asking for help preventing the end of world, no ones come to claim Johnny as their new archenemy. Yeah, tame. They're playing video games, staying inside and away from the recent heatwave that had decided to strike Porkbelly that afternoon.
“Yeah I wonder why”. Johnny replies, rolling his eyes. He’s sitting upside down on a beanbag chair, tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration as he spammed buttons on the controller in his hands. “You’re a cool enough guy Gene, you just have a tendency to uh...”. He pauses, lilting to the side as if it’ll help him steer better in the game. Eugene finds it embarrassingly endearing. “Go a tad overboard sometimes “.
Eugene thinks back on his numerous attempts to woo Johnny’s sister and can’t argue. In fact, he cringes a little at the memory. “But I’ve gotten better, right?”. He asks nervously fiddling with the gold chain around his neck. He’s gotten a little less flashy with his looks over the years, but what can he say? He looks great in gold.
“Oh totally”. Johnny nods with no hesitation . “If you had told me that we would be playing video games in my room like best friends a few years ago, no way I’d believe you”.
And Eugene goes to ask something else, or maybe to say ‘right back at you’ to Johnny’s subtle teasing, but of course, the topic was derailed by an explosion erupting elsewhere in the house. So Eugene drops whatever he was going to say and instead sighs. “We should probably go and see what that was, hmm?”.
Johnny groaned dramatically, but paused the game nonetheless and placed the controller down. “Yep”.
And as their afternoon was taken over by science experiment shenanigans for what had to be the hundreth time, Eugene almost forgot about the conversation entirely.
Almost.
-
Eugene doesn’t realize until it’s far too late, because he’s never had one before. A crush, that is. Sure, he’d had one on Johnny‘s older sisters (even despite the obvious age difference that rendered it impossible) but it must’ve been superficial at best. Because the crush he has on Johnny is serious.
He’s never been one to stutter unless being completely and utterly embarrassed, but around Johnny it’s become common place. Typically right after Johnny has saved the day or done something that he finds particularly clever, and he’ll give Eugene this little confident smirk that absolutely DOES NOT give Eugene butterflies in the pit of his stomach.
Or when Johnny shows his softer side that’s usually tucked away (because of course it is, he’s a teenage boy) and Eugene’s heart does a little flip whenever Johnny inquires worriedly about any minor injuries he’s sustained from their last battle or if he notices Eugene ever feeling down.
So yeah, okay then, whatever. This is a serious crush.
And now he can’t stop noticing things about Johnny that he has absolutely no right in noticing. Like the specific shade of blue that his eyes are, just a couple shades brighter than his sisters but how it makes a difference all the same. The way he’s not as lanky as he was when they were both twelve, lean muscle developed from constantly fighting against whatever villain that decides Johnny must be destroyed on a random Tuesday afternoon. Or how he’s now taller than Eugene just enough that it’s flustering but not enough to be totally embarrassing.
He does this thing, that Eugene isn’t even entirely sure that he notices, where he’ll unintentionally lean over Eugene and he’s surprised he hasn’t had a damn heart attack from the sight of Johnathan Test leaning over him and giving a playful grin, asking what kind of mischief does he want to get up to that day.
His sisters are genius’s, so when they walk into Johnny’s room mere moments after the other boy had left to get snacks, Eugene is vaguely aware in the back of his mind that he might be about to die.
“So, you really like our brother, yes?”. Susan asks with no shortage of bluntness. Talking to her is still mortifying, granted how he was so infatuated with her as a preteen, and he’s only just recently worked himself back up to being able to look her in the eyes.
A hundred thoughts enter his mind, some of denial, some of begrudging acceptance, but the only one he could verbally get out was of confusion. “Huh?”. He stiffens from his spot on the bed, eyes flickering between the Test twins.
Susan and Mary have matured plenty since graduating high school, in some ways that would most likely have had his twelve year old self drooling, but he doesn’t feel a hint of attraction towards either of them now. No sweaty hands, or urge to buy hundreds of bouquets of flowers.
If anything he’s nervous- they have every right to dislike him based on his prior behavior, the unwanted advances that’s he’d made toward them for years. Even though now they’ve reached a weird mutual understanding of each other due to his sudden close friendship with their little brother.
Susan and Mary share a look and the thought that this is where he’ll die, once again strikes his mind. “You’re not very good at hiding it”. Mary says nonchalantly.
“Seriously”. Susan adds in, settling on Johnny’s bed. She glances towards the doorway and nods her head at Mary. “We have precisely one minute and thirteen seconds until Johnny gets back”. She pauses, factoring something in her head. “One minute and forty seconds if he forgets that we ran out of his favorite chips yesterday”.
“And we’re using this time to professionally threaten you”. Mary leans against the wall and examines her nails, as if it was totally normal to be threatening your younger brothers friend randomly like this.
Though considering said friend used to be a supervillain…
Eugene blinks. He had momentarily forgotten how... terrifying the twins could be, with them both being gone at college at the start of his and Johnny’s budding friendship. He’d seen less and less of them, the usually rare awkward sightings were reserved for odd occasions, borderline apocalyptic instances, holidays and the current ongoing summer vacation.
“I have, absolutely no idea what you’re talking about”. He says instead of anything else, because if his mother taught him anything, it was to never confess to something without a lawyer present.
Dukey from his spot curled up in his dog bed, unsuccessfully tries to hide a snort, and pointedly ignores when everyone in the room sends him a glare.
“Eugene”. Susan says firmly, steering them all back on track. “You know us. We aren’t idiots”.
“I have absolutely no clue as to what you two might be referring too”. He repeats again, face set determinedly blank, because his lawyer is still not present.
The twins share a look and Mary shrugs. “Fine. Continue being purposely obtuse. But just know if you do something to hurt Johnny-“.
“Physically or emotionally”. Susan cuts in.
“We will destroy you”.
“Like, ground you to actual dust”.
“Shrink you and keep you in a hamster cage”.
“Feed you to our man eating plant”.
“Get the picture?”. They both ask together in sync.
Eugene swallows nervously and nods, and the twins nodded back.
“Just keep that in mind”. Susan checks her watch just as Johnny comes strolling back into his room, arms full of junk food.
“Okay so, apparently we’re out of my favorite chips, but we had the brownie bites we both like so I guess it’s fine, I-“. He pauses at the sight of his sisters and sends a suspicious look their way. “What’re you guys doing in my room?”.
Susan smoothes over Johnny’s space themed bedspread and stands, plucking a bag of pretzels from Johnny’s hands, ignoring his protest. “Nothing. Just reminding you to not hog all the snacks”.
“Mhmm. Mom said you’re the one hogging and to stop eating everything the day after Dad grocery shops”. Mary says, and with that the twins stride out of the room.
Johnny rolls his eyes and kicks the door shut with his foot. “Ugh, they are so nosy”.
He deposits the snacks on his bed in a heap and plops down on his starry constellation blankets, messing up any tidying Susan had attempted, and tilts his head at Eugene as he cracks open a bag. “They didn’t like, bother you or anything, did they?”. He asks around a mouthful of cosmic brownie bites.
How ironic that Johnny would be asking if his sisters were bothering Eugene, instead of it being the other way around. Eugene can’t seem to fight the bright blush that spreads over his face and to the tips of his ears.
Dukey in the background snorts again.
“N-no! Of course not! Barely shared a word”. He grabs the remote. “Now c’mon! Are we watching the new Speed McCool movie or not?”.
“Alright alright, press play!”.
-
Eugene is blearily blinking open his eyes and pushing down the pending heart attack because Johnathan Test is leaning over him, his blue eyes shining with an electric radioactive gleam to them- Eugene’s always thought being experimented on would have side effects- and he’s grinning in this weird secretive way that cues up Eugene’s weird blushing ears thing. It’s dark enough in Johnny’s room to be hidden, at least he internally prays that it is.
“Hey!”. Johnny is whispering softly in the dark, the room barely lit by the window beckoning in soft moonlight. “Susan and Mary said there was this meteor shower happening tonight and they’re at a friends house, so the lab balcony is totally free and I was thinking we could like, watch the shower or whatever”.
There’s something unsure in Johnny’s smile, like he’s afraid Eugene might just roll over and go back to sleep and dismiss his idea as lame.
Which, don’t get him wrong, Eugene is half tempted to. He is NOT a morning person-or a whatever the hell time it was person- but something about the Test siblings make it near impossible to say no to them. And with Johnny especially he doesn’t even think he could say no if he wanted too. Johnny’s mastered the puppy dog eyes- Dukey be damned. The dog in question snored from a few feet away from his loyal spot at the end of Johnny’s bed.
“Mmhm. Fine. But I better get a coffee out of this Test”. He says begrudgingly, groggy voice still heavy with sleep.
Johnny beams at him, and the sight of his smile is enough to make Eugene’s heart race. “Totally. Dark with enough sugar to cause a heart attack?”.
He recovers from being flustered just enough to actually speak. “Y-you know my coffee preference?”.
“Duh”. Johnny says with an eye roll. “I’m the one always ordering for us at Starbucks”.
It’s when he realizes he’s paying more attention to Johnny; his soft smile, and the way the shooting stars from the meteor shower reflect and sparkle in Johnny’s bright blue eyes, instead of watching the actual shower itself, that Eugene properly assess that he’s most definitely got it bad.
-
Eugene is most certainly not drooling.
But damn.
It’s the sudden mid-July heatwave in Porkbelly that drives Johnny to activate the underground pool in the Test family’s backyard- after all the twins aren’t in town to tell him not to. It rises out of the ground and settles on the grass and if Eugene didn’t know any better he’d think it was an permanent addition that had always existed in their backyard.
But damn the pool. Because pools meant swimming and swimming meant wearing far less clothing than normal-thus swimsuits-and Eugene’s grown into a more modest person in his adolescence. He usually sticks to one peices, always has a tank top on because something about people staring at him half naked has just never been all that appealing.
But Johnny is out here in swim trunks, that MUST have shrunk in the wash because Eugene is positive swim trunks don’t just reach mid thigh like that. And damn it all, he’d never say so out loud or anywhere but in a secure and locked away diary, but all those years of battles and lab experiments must have done Johnny some good because hot damn. He’s kinda ripped. Not in some overly exaggerated muscle-head type way, but in a lean way, where Eugene’s sure he wouldn’t break much of a sweat doing any form of hard labor.
He’s over observing.
Now Eugene knows Johnny’s hot of course-it’s a hard thing to ignore- but he’s never properly seen this much of him before. A glimpse here or there whenever the other changes into pajamas during one of Eugene’s short notice sleepovers or when the blonde runs his hands through his firey blonde hair-a nervous tick of his-and his shirt lifts just a tad. Peeks of a somewhat freckled torso and perhaps more are just enough to drive Eugene’s teenage hormone riddled mind insane.
Johnny hip checks him as he walks by where Eugene has perched onto the edge of a chair by the poolside. It’s reclined just enough to make a half decent tanning area and Eugene digs around in his pool bag for his golden tanning reflectors- because if he’s going to tan, Johnathan, he’s going to do it right.
“Are you for real not getting in?”. Johnny raises an eyebrow at him. “Seriously, Gene, it is literally boiling out here”.
“Well excuse me, Johnathan”. Eugene starts, opposing Johnny’s use of his nickname for Eugene by using his full name in turn, which Johnny sticks his tongue out at him for. “But some of us have to work to look this good”.
Johnny gives a devilish smirk at that. “So you’re saying I’m naturally good looking, huh Gene?”.
Eugene splutters at that, and plans to blame his red ears and pink cheeks on immediate set in sunburn but Johnny cannonballs into the pool and splashes him with just enough water that his hair is wet and sagging onto his forehead, ruining his perfectly styled middle part.
He sets his tanning equipment down and purses his lips. “Okay”. He says calmly. “So this is war then?”. And he decides that the tanning can wait, as he pulls out a comically large sized water gun from his bag and aims it directly at Johnny’s open mouth from where’s he’s been cackling at Eugene’s sloppy soaked hair.
The ensuing water battle after was decidedly worth it.
-
The night before school is set to start back up, Johnny is lying next to Eugene on his bed, as they often always do when watching movies -because Eugene can only tolerate sleeping on the floor on occasion, sitting down there all the time is just asking too much- when Johnny randomly pops the question.
“If I asked you out, like totally hypothetically or whatever, would you like, say yes?”.
Eugene’s brain short circuits for a moment and it’s all he can do to blink and run the words through his head for a solid minute. There might even be smoke coming out of his ears at this point because he cannot wrap his head around what Johnny has just asked him.
“Okay, Gene are you even breathing? Forget it, I’m just being stupid, let’s just forget I ever said that, it was dumb Test nonsense sorry about it, I-“.
And Eugenes brain finally reboots and turns back on and he sits up, facing Johnny with a look that turns the blonde silent. “Seriously?”.
Johnny looks so nervous that Eugene almost pitied him, but hell, Eugene has been pinning over the Test boy for almost a year now -maybe even longer since he hadn’t even noticed it until as of recent-and this is how it’s getting resolved? Seriously?!
“The nerve you have, Test”. Eugene shakes his head and quiets Johnny before he can go on rambling out denials and apologies again. “If you we’re going to ask me out, I pray that this wasn’t how”.
He continues on, ignoring the confused look now on Johnny’s face. “I mean, where is the panache, the flare!? I’m a man of rich tastes, I like dramatics. You don’t even have roses and I-“.
Johnny hold his hands out to stop Eugene from going on. “Wait, wait. Are you…saying yes?”.
“To this shoddy attempt?”. Eugene raised an eyebrow at him and haughtily scoffs. “Absolutely not. But ask me again with some effort and maybe I’ll reconsider -“.
Johnny lips brush against his own and that shuts Eugene up pretty quick. He’d dreamt of kissing Johnny many a time, but all of those dreams combined were nothing to the real thing. He had this taste of the energy drink he loved and his favorite flavor of sour gum on his tongue, and staticky electricity danced between their lips. It was utterly intoxicating.
“..Or”. Eugene starts, brain slow to reboot again when the both pull back, panting and flushed in the face . “You could do that”. They’re both slightly out of breath and Johnny is so red in the face Eugene’s dizzy mind has to worry for a split second if the other boy has somehow gotten the fastest sunburn on earth, even though they’re inside and it’s dark out. It’s utterly adorable and Eugene had the realization that he can say those thoughts aloud rather then bottling them away.
“You are so cute”. He breaths out, fingers brushing softly at his lips, that still tingle from the delight of kissing Johnathan Test, who turns even redder at the compliment.
“Geeeeenne”. Johnny draws out Eugene’s nickname and flops back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands in an attempt to try and hide the pink in his cheeks and Eugene is definitely NOT smitten by Johnathan Test.
Whipped, maybe. Lovestruck? Absolutely.
Not that he would ever tell him that.