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“He’s gonna be pissed.”
“Well, you’ve definitely got some bruised ribs if that punch hurt as bad as it looked.”
“Oh and that cut above your eye doesn’t count? If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to look like me, baby face.”
“Not that deep.” Five shrugged and started for the car as sirens went off in the distance. “Call me that again and him being pissed will be the least of your problems.”
“Hey, I think it’s great the commission decided to shave a few years off when they made your new body. The whole silver fox look has done wonders for our relationship.” Diego grinned as he came up beside Five, only emboldened by the threat.
“Keep being a pain in my ass and there won’t be a relationship.” Five scowled though Diego just chuckled.
“You like being a pain in my ass too much.”
“Maybe it’s time to look into gags.”
“That’s the spirit. But I’m pretty sure that cut is deep. It’s still bleeding.” Diego eyed the trail of blood that had now reached Five’s cheek.
“Nothing a good cleaning and some superglue can’t fix.”
“Oh he’ll love that.” Diego rolled his eyes but immediately regretted it as his head began to throb.
“Not as much as he’ll love that limp you’re sporting.” Five grinned as Diego flipped him off as they made it to the car. “We could clean up a bit before going home.”
“He’s gonna know.”
“Ofcourse he’s gonna know. The Horror is like heat seeking missile when it comes to injuries.” The former time agent laughed dryly as he reclined his seat, or atleast tried. “Jesus, when are you gonna get this fixed?”
“When you ask nicely, old man.” It was Five’s turn to flip the bird while Diego laughed. “I don’t see any reason to clean up when Nurse Horror is gonna find everything anyway.”
“Yes, but Ben’s less likely to freak out if it doesn’t look as bad as it does now.” Five countered. Diego shrugged and started the car.
“Definitely didn’t have getting first aid from an eldritch monster on my post-apocalypse bingo card.” Diego continued as they rode through the quiet streets towards their shared apartment.
“Or getting Ben back.” Diego didn’t have to look to know that Five was smiling. He was smiling too.
“Or having two boyfriends. I mean I’m definitely capable of pulling two guys at once but still.”
“So humble.” Five closed his eyes though the small smile still tugged at the corners of his mouth.
“You’re one to talk. Besides I’m pretty sure it turns you on.”
“You think everything you do is a turn on.”
“Not everything.” Diego snickered. “Just many, many things. Like the one last night. You’re not the only one who pays attention.”
Five went a little pink as he shifted in his seat. “Well you won’t be doing that for a while.”
“I got other ways to get the job done.”
“Please shut up.”
————————————————
“Jesus, what happened! I thought this was a simple mission.” Ben was on his feet as soon as Five crossed the threshold first, having lost rock, paper, scissors to Diego.
“It got a little complicated.” Five felt the little knot of guilt twist as Ben herded them to the kitchen where the first aid kit dutifully sat.
“So it went to shit.” Ben huffed and opened the first aid kit while they each sat at the table.
“More or less. But we got the job done.”
“Five. It didn’t go to shit, Ben.” Diego shot Five a look, earning him a shrug.
“Well it doesn’t look like it went well.”
“It went fine. Just a few scratches but nothing my favorite nurse can’t handle.” Diego smiled fondly and reached for Ben’s hand. As if on cue a thick, shiny tentacle insinuated itself between them and dangled a bottle of peroxide before moving towards Five while another tentacle grabbed the bag of cotton balls. “See? The Horror’s ready to go.” Ben narrowed his eyes but helped Diego take of his boots.
“Did you atleast get the police what they needed?”
“We could’ve put a pretty bow on it but we didn’t wanna worry you by being later.” Five grinned while the Horror dabbed at the cut above his eye with a damp cotton ball.
“Maybe now you can work on not getting the shit kicked out of you.”
“I’m not the one with a sprain and bruised ribs.”
“Snitch.”
“You say that like I can’t see your split lip and the cut.” Ben threw Five a pointed look that made the other man look sheepish. “Did you warp too much?”
“No, he lost a bet. Ah shit! Ben that hurt! What’s that for?” Diego grunted as Ben pulled the ace bandage just a touch too tight.
“For being an idiot who makes bets that get you hurt.” Ben rolled his eyes and adjusted the bandage.
“First off all, it was Five’s idea. Second, I didn’t use my powers either. It was equal. And we still won.”
“On what planet does that make it better?” Ben answered dryly as another tentacle dropped a ice pack on the table for both men.
“I’m just making sure I’m not the only one getting yelled at.” Diego huffed and pressed his ice pack to his shoulder while Ben lifted his shirt to check his ribs before moving on to wipe the blood from the cut on his arm.
“Who’s the snitch now?” Five ignored the ice pack in favor of closing his eyes. The reprieve was short lived, however, as the Horror pressed the ice pack to his aching jaw insistently. With a sigh, he obediently took hold of it, earning a fond pat on the head.
“Still you.” Diego grinned smugly to the sounds of Ben and Five groaning. Even a tentacle wagged at him.
“Well I hope it was worth it cause neither of you are gonna be able to go out for a few days.”
“Sure it was. Now I get to have a few quiet evenings to catch up on our movie list.” Ben sighed at Five , equally fond and exasperated.
“Don’t think that smooths anything over.”
“No, but a lazy day or two with movies and take out won’t hurt.”
“Add in a some nachos from Diego and it might help.” Ben quirked an eyebrow.
“What if I do nachos and and a back rub?” Ben huffed a laugh and let Diego pull him in for a kiss.
“You two must be feeling guilty, huh?”
“No,” Five got up as the Horror finished smoothing on the last bandage while another tentacle pressed a cup of hot coffee into his hands. “but you deserve it after putting up with us coming home needing first aid tonight.”
“What he said.”
Ben shook his head and pulled away to look at both of them. He loved movie night where they’d pile up on the too small couch with popcorn and watched movies they’d missed while being dead or missing. It made this new life almost normal. Not that that was what he wanted. Not really. Not now that he had made his tentative peace with the so called darkness inside him and carved out something of a comfortable life with the two people he loved the most. And that was way more valuable than normal. So he’d take it and bask in everything that was his life.
“Deal.”