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Months into the summer, the theater crew decided to spend a week camping before EJ had to get shipped off to college. They all took separate cars, with some bundled together. After spending the day pitching tents, diving into the lake nearby, and playing the standard games like Uno and Spades, they were all settled around the campfire, talking and making s’mores. Gina was sitting, nestled into EJ’s shoulder, them both laughing over a story EJ is telling her.
“Hey, babe, do you think you can go refill my drink?”
“Yeah, sure.” He said with a smile.
EJ gets up to get the drink Gina requested from one of the coolers set up. Ricky moves from his spot next to Lily and sits next to Gina with a smile.
“Hey, Gi.”
“Hey, Rick.” She sighed. They both looked onto the fire ahead of them, everyone sitting around it lost in their own conversations. Everything has been civil between them, but they never got back to that point of sharing every vulnerable thing with each other. Gina has been throwing herself into her relationship with EJ, who’s getting ready to leave for college in a few weeks. Ricky went on one date with Lily and they both decided they’d be better off as friends, with him becoming like a mentor of some sort to her
“So,” he starts off. “You and EJ seem to be doing well.”
“Yeah, he’s been really good to me. Things have been so great this summer, it’s sad things are coming to an end soon. What about you and Lily?” She asked through gritted teeth. Gina, and most of their friends, didn’t really like Lily for good reason. Even though she’s been trying to make amends these past few months, they couldn’t help but not trust her. But maybe that wasn't the only reason for her attitude towards her.
“Lily and I aren’t a thing, she’s just become a person that I can talk to about things I can’t tell anyone else.” Ricky looks down while Gina’s heart begins to hurt. She used to be that person for him, and she couldn’t lie and say she didn’t miss their old friendship. They both hated that the only conversations they had with each other were saying hello and seeing how the other person was “doing”, usually seeing through the other’s lie.
“It’s good you’ve found someone like that Ricky.” It hurt her to say those words.
“Yeah, I guess,” he trailed off. He didn’t mean or did he want someone else to confide in, but Lily was just… there. “Well, good luck I guess,” Ricky said with a smile, taking one last sip of his drink and realizing it was empty. Gina looked at him with a confused face.
“What do you mean, good luck?” Gina asked him. Ricky was about to elaborate before EJ sat down with her drink.
“Hey babe,” he said planting a kiss to the side of her head. She just smiled at him while waiting for him to continue. He just offered a tight-lipped smile and shook his head.
“Nevermind,” he said, standing up to get a refill on his drink. On his way towards the stand they had set up, he heard footsteps trailing lightly behind him. He looked around to see Gina with an expression even he couldn’t decipher.
“What did you mean when you said 'Good Luck'", she asked with confusion in her voice. Ricky kept walking to where they kept the drinks and started to pour.
“I’m just saying, long-distance is tough. Trust me, I’ve experienced it. It also doesn’t help that he’ll be in college.” He rambled. Gina just stared at him, dumbfounded on why he felt it was appropriate to comment on her relationship.
“Ricky, I’m sorry, but I never asked for your opinion on my relationship. We are also not the same. Maybe if you can keep a girlfriend, you can speak.” Gina regretted the words that came out of her mouth, and her eyes widened as she said it. She would never speak this way to anyone, let alone Ricky. He didn’t react though, he just stared ahead with blank eyes and drank his juice. He cleared his throat and stood up from the table he was leaning on.
“You’re right, Gina. I just don’t think you deserve someone who’s gonna leave. I’m just… worried about how this might end,” he explained before attempting to walk off.
“Wow, Ricky, you’re one to talk. You don’t get the right to worry about me, not ever since you stopped caring about me.” Ricky reacted to this by stopping and turning, looking her in her eyes, shock and almost anger apparent.
“What the hell are you talking about, Gi?” His voice rose a little. “I always cared about you!”
“Oh really? Well, you have a real fucking way of showing it.” She responded with a dry chuckle.
“I just tried to give you space after Carlos’ quince when you told me not to confide in you anymore. So I did just that, I kept all of my problems to myself and tried my best not to bother anyone. And even after I stopped that, I couldn’t even start a conversation with you without you running away to someone else.”
It hurt her to hear about how he had no one to talk to anymore, but that was never her intent, “I told you not to dump your problems with Nini on me, not to stop confiding to me about other problems.”
“Gina, you’re not understanding what I’m saying. I couldn’t talk to you about anything, you just never let me get close to you anymore. Tell me one time we’ve talked since after his quince. Or better yet, tell me every time I tried to start a normal conversation and you just ignored me.”
Gina didn’t bother to answer and continued, “No, you don’t understand Ricky! Do you know how hard it was for me to spill my heart out to you in that dressing room, only for you to show up the next day hand in hand with Nini? It was fucking devastating, Ricky, and you never understood or grasped the fucking situation.” She yelled.
“What situation, Gina?” Ricky exasperated himself out of breath from yelling. He lowered his voice, “Tell me, please, what did I miss.”
“I was in love with you, Ricky. I don’t know how you missed the signs but they were all there. Down to me confiding in you every single problem I had, agreeing with all of your decisions, knitting you a fucking hat. But you never got it in time.” Silence filled the near-dead forest. Ricky looked at her with his signature wide eyes and gaped mouth.
He was speechless. He didn’t know what to say after that. He finally broke eye contact with Gina and looked behind her to see everyone watching them. Their expressions varied but they all had a hint of shock. EJ’s expression was indecipherable and Ricky couldn’t bother to figure it out.
Gina looked to the group and then back at Ricky, whose eyes were glossy. He didn’t like being put on the spot when it came to situations like this, especially ones filled with this much emotion and tension. And she knew this, and all she wanted to do was comfort him but she couldn’t since they themselves were the cause of it.
No one from the group dared make a move. They tried to get back to their separate conversations but it didn’t feel right. Not when their friend’s heated conversation had come to a halt like that.
“I’m sorry, Gi.” Ricky apologized. He didn’t know what to say after that. What do you say when one of your friends confesses their past love to you during a heated argument. Ricky walked in the direction of his car while Gina walked further into the woods, not being able to even face the group sitting around the campfire. He hopped in the driver’s side, wiping tears that hadn’t fallen yet. How was he supposed to just sit around the campfire and sing lame songs when that just happened. Ricky was contemplating on whether or not to just drive off and go home. His key was already in, all he had to do was turn it and drive off. Which is exactly what he did.
Gina was thinking the same thing as she walked further into the woods. She didn’t mean to let everything out like that, especially not in a public setting like that. And EJ. What could she do now? She just told him that she was in love with Ricky, of all people. She also just blurted out in front of Nini, that she was in love with her ex-boyfriend during the time they were dating. And maybe she still is, but she never had the time to dwell on it, nor did she want to.
She was happy with EJ, or so she thought she was. The summer so far has been filled with dates to amusement parks, diners, and having movie nights. On paper, he was the perfect, ideal boyfriend anyone would be lucky to have. Maybe that’s what she believed that’s what she needed. But soon he was going to be added to the list of people who left her. She doesn’t know why she put herself through this when he was just going to leave. Now, what was she supposed to do?
She shouldn’t have lashed out at Ricky, she thought. As he said, he was only looking out for her, but that didn’t give him a right to intrude like that. Especially right now, when she thought everything was going great. He just came in like a tidal wave and washed everything up. And now her feelings were more confusing than when she left them months ago.
Ricky’s feelings, on the other hand, became more clearer and focused. Why he felt the need to comment on her and EJ’s relationship, again, even if the first time didn’t count. Maybe he was jealous, but that wasn’t what was on his mind. She just truly deserved better, another person that wouldn’t leave. Even if he wasn’t that person for her right now, he felt he could be. He wanted to be the person he could’ve been before, the one who never left. He wanted to be the person she loved again.
Ricky’s car interrupted his thoughts by stuttering and shaking. He looked down behind the wheel and noticed the low fuel sign blinking and the battery sign displaying. He really didn’t want to, but he had to walk back to the campsite for one of the extra gas cans EJ had. Maybe he could easily sneak in and out before anyone noticed him. He took the keys out and made his walk through the woods towards where they set up shop. As he traversed through the forest, he couldn’t get the curly-headed girl out of his mind. Maybe if he had just kept his mouth shut for once, this could’ve been avoided. But he had to speak about it.
Gina’s descent into the darkened forest deepened as she was kinda lost. She didn’t see where she was nor did she know how long she was walking. It was hard for her to make out anything in the darkness, causing her to trip over what she thought was a branch and send her tumbling down a small steep. Hearing urgent footsteps making their way towards her, she quickly attempted to get up but tripped over something else.
“Hello? Are you alright?” A male voice asked out into the distance. Gina recognized the lost, familiar voice anywhere.
“Ricky?” She called out.
“Gi?”