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There were a lot of things Kagami had to figure out about the way people acted. Like how girls liked boys. And she was a girl. So, she liked boys.
Boys were alright, she found. They were louder than girls, but didn’t whisper behind doors as much. People joked about boys being smelly. She thought she wouldn’t be a good judge of that, because everyone was a little smelly after fencing for two hours.
The most interesting thing about fencing class was Adrien Agreste. She’d met him before, years ago, but neither of them remembered it well. Their parents encouraged their friendship, and for once, Kagami was allowed a boy to talk to.
Girls liked boys. Kagami was a girl. Adrien was a boy. Kagami liked Adrien.
Adrien looked at Kagami like he liked her. Kagami tried to return the expression. She didn’t hesitate. She ignored Marinette, until Marinette became her friend. And even then, she was careful not to mention her name around Adrien.
She’d gotten good at reading people. She knew Adrien liked Marinette in much the same way he liked her. So she was a little worried about the double date. But it went well. She kept Adrien by her side.
So her and Adrien hung out at the park, and stayed in the corner together at galas meant for adults. And Kagami liked Adrien.
Until he tried to take her on a ‘real’ date. It wasn’t that bad. He did a fine job, picked a nice restaurant, showed up wearing a nice tie. But Kagami couldn’t stand it.
Kissing him wouldn’t be so awful. But making moon eyes across the table, and walking around and holding hands, and having other people call them a couple felt wrong.
He was upset when she left halfway through. And that was the end of that.
Shortly after the Adrien fiasco, Ladybug showed up and handed her the dragon miraculous. She would be joining Ladybug, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, and Carapace as a permanent hero. She decided not to dwell on the timing of these events.
The five of them met on the roof of a hotel Kagami hadn’t heard of before. Kagami typically didn’t enjoy groups of more than three. She figured this could be an exception. The other heroes were nice, even if they tended to talk over each other, which made the conversation hard to follow.
Rena Rouge elbowed Ladybug. Kagami didn’t hear her joke.
Ladybug laughed. “Yeah, right. I’m too gay for that.”
Kagami frowned at that. “Girls can’t be gay.”
“Oh,” Rena Rouge shifted. “Um, yeah, it just means you like other girls.”
“Well, I’m actually bi, I like guys too,” Ladybug explained.
Girls liked boys, except when they didn’t. And then they liked girls, and they were gay. Kagami didn’t like boys. So she must like girls. So she was gay.
She was transformed, sitting atop the same hotel from last week. She was trying to get used to being a hero. It still felt surreal, being able to slip out her window unnoticed.
Ladybug landed behind her, her shoeless feet barely making a sound. “Are you okay with being a permanent hero?”
“I think so. I’m just not used to it yet. And I don’t really like how much akumas interrupt my day.”
“Yeah, that part kinda sucks.” Ladybug sat down next to her.
“I think I’m gay.”
“You do?”
Kagami hesitated.
“Adrien?” Ladybug guessed.
Of course, Ladybug knew who she was. “Yes.”
“Sometimes it takes something like that to know for sure.”
“I’ve never done anything with a girl, though,” Kagami mused.
Beside her, Ladybug turned bright red.
“It could be nice.” Kissing girls did sound fun, if she thought about it.
Ladybug’s gloved hand over hers made her turn her head. She was staring at Kagami, glancing away every few seconds and fluttering her lashes shyly. It felt all too similar to the way Adrien had looked at her.
And Kagami couldn’t stand it. She thought that maybe Ladybug wanted to take her on a date. That sounded no better than the date with Adrien. If Ladybug just wanted to kiss, she would have let her. But kissing always came with so many expectations, none of which Kagami wanted.
She stood up. “I have to go home. I have a fencing tournament tomorrow morning.”
Ladybug hid her disappointment poorly.
Kagami decided that perhaps she didn’t like Ladybug . It wasn’t like gay girls liked every other girl they met. And sure, Ladybug was kind, and pretty, and everyone seemed to love her, but Kagami didn’t. They were missing the ‘spark’ that she always heard people talk about.
She wasn’t all too fond of the idea of a ‘spark,’ though. It sounded like she was going to commit arson with someone, not fall in love. She didn’t even know if she had enough kindling for the love part, so to speak.
Once again, she found herself at a boring gala, this time hosted at The Grand Hotel. Adrien wasn’t there, due to having caught a cold a few days ago. They’d recently managed to fall back into a pattern of friendship. Adrien seemed to be more awkward than her about it. She couldn’t find it in herself to care about their failed relationship.
“Hey.”
Kagami looked up to see Chloe approaching. “Hi.”
“Pretty boring, huh?”
“I guess.”
“We can go up to my room, if you want.”
Kagami knew that Adrien was friends with Chloe, but the rest of his class didn’t like her. Regardless, Kagami liked to decide if she could be friends with someone herself, not just listen to others. “That sounds good,” she said.
Chloe led her along the wall to the elevator. She tapped the buttons, then scanned a card against the panel.
“The residential floor is restricted,” she explained.
Kagami grabbed the railing as the elevator shot upward. Vertical movement had never been her favorite. But the elevator was a lot quieter than the gala. She could hear herself breathing again. She focused on the steady rhythm, letting her shoulders relax. The elevator stopped.
“C’mon.” Chloe led her down the hall and through a door.
The room was large enough to pass for a living room, complete with a couch and coffee table. The bed in the corner was the only clue that this was where Chloe slept.
Chloe sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. Kagami sat too.
“What happened with you and Adrien? He won’t tell me about it.”
Kagami shrugged. “I didn’t want to date him. Actually, I don’t want to date anyone.”
Chloe leaned back into the cushion. “Yeah. Sometimes I think relationships are overdramatic, sometimes I think maybe it’s just straight relationships. The way girls get over boys makes no sense.”
“I agree. And honestly, dating doesn’t seem like a big deal. Why would you want to be so… inseparable from someone?”
“It’s nice. You feel close to them,” Chloe said. “I’d date a girl.”
“I thought I was gay. I think I’m wrong. But, I still want to kiss people. I don’t know if that’s allowed, or what would happen if I kiss someone but don’t date them.”
Chloe laughed. “What’s ‘allowed’ doesn’t matter. Do what you want. Kiss who you want, as long as they know what’s going on. Hell, I’d kiss just to kiss, plenty of people would.”
“You would?”
“Why, do you wanna?”
Kagami glanced at Chloe’s lips and nodded.
Kissing was what Kagami wanted. And, okay, maybe more, but not yet. Dating got in the way, it was just more rules to follow. Kagami didn’t want to follow rules that weren’t her own. She wanted to sneak out of a gala and kiss Chloe.
Girls liked boys, except when they didn’t. And then they liked girls, and they were gay. Except when they didn’t like girls either, and then they were aromantic. And aromantic people sometimes had a friend they liked to kiss, and Kagami had Chloe.
That was enough for her. She was sick of people saying it wasn’t enough, that true love is everything. It’s not. Ridiculous games of Uno on the Montparnasse tower with super heroes, fencing with Adrien, and kissing Chloe was everything.
And honestly, she wouldn’t want it any other way.