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Xie Lian’s life had been what some may call ‘interesting’ if they were being kind. But more likely and more bluntly, it would be called shit.
It hadn’t always been shit, of course. Xie Lian thought he’d had quite a fortunate upbringing. One filled with a loving family, close friends, and an abundance of foolhardy, youthful hope that had him convinced he would personally save the world of hunger and homelessness and all the petty problems of the less fortunate.
Though his father had hoped for Xie Lian to follow in his footsteps and inherit the family business, Xie Lian had dedicated himself only to the improvement of his mind, body, and working to aid the ‘common people’. He volunteered at food banks, spent summers as a camp counselor for troubled children, built homes for the homeless, created community gardens—he was a model citizen. A beacon of hope.
Of course, those who rose the highest always fell the hardest.
A major scandal in the company had slowly drained the life out of his father’s eyes and money from their family’s pockets. People often spoke of terrible tragedies happening overnight, but the fall of the Xie family had not been a freak occurrence, rather, it was a slow and cruel torment that had robbed Xie Lian first of his comforts, then his sanity, his friends, his parents, until all that was left was a large medical debt for his own failed attempt.
But, life carried on. Over a decade had passed since that incident and Xie Lian thought his luck might finally be turning around. His series of gig jobs doing food delivery and driving people around was stable enough. He’d recently reunited with Feng Xin and Mu Qing, slowly but surely rebuilding their old bonds again. He’d even made new friends who weren’t at each other’s throats fighting when they met up to hang out, though he sometimes felt witnessing the PDA Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan displayed whenever Shi Qingxuan got her partner to give in to her pestering was worse.
Most crucially though, Xie Lian had San Lang.
They weren’t dating. Or, they probably weren’t. And he didn’t have a history with the man like Feng Xin and Mu Qing or known him as long as he’d known Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan. Yet he really felt meeting San Lang had been when his luck had turned for the better. It was only after having met him that Xie Lian rediscovered that it’s such a simple thing to be happy. He couldn’t pin why exactly, but he didn’t much care to.
Despite Feng Xin and Mu Qing coming together in rare agreement to dislike San Lang and He Xuan’s odd scoffs and snorts every time he saw the pair or heard Xie Lian assuring Shi Qingxuan they were truly just friends, Xie Lian felt that if he had used up all the rest of his life’s luck to meet San Lang at Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan’s housewarming party, that would be alright.
It was for this reason his heart felt light as he parked in front of a much nicer condo than he could hope to afford and headed up the front steps with a smile.
He hadn’t even had the chance to knock when the door swung open, and that familiar face smiled back at him. “Gege, you’re early!”
Xie Lian decided not to tease him on the fact he’d clearly been waiting. “My last passenger happened to be closer to your area than I thought. Should I change now or do we still have awhile before we have to go?”
San Lang stepped out of the way to let Xie Lian in with a teasing smile. “Gege is always welcome to wear this one’s clothes. You look better in them anyways.”
Xie Lian laughed it off, used to the playful compliments and flirtations by now. “One of these days I’ll buy myself a proper button up so I don’t have to keep imposing on you just to support you at your own gallery.”
“It’s no imposition. I’ve told you before, anything that’s mine is also gege’s.”
As if to prove this point, his cat, E-Ming, launched himself at Xie Lian, mewling for attention until Xie Lian picked him up and dissolved the one eyed cat into a puddle of purrs with a few scritches.
San Lang tsked. “Useless.”
“If you gave him attention more often, he wouldn’t cling to me every time I visited.” Xie Lian found it impossible to dislike the cat and even harder to believe San Lang truly hated the cat either. Rather, the cat almost reminded Xie Lian of the man in a way, and not just because they were each missing an eye. E-Ming could be violent and seemingly easily irritated, but he had never tried to scratch Xie Lian, always coming to greet him with such warm affection you’d think Xie Lian was the owner who’d painstakingly nursed the cat to health.
Conversation came easy with San Lang, and it hardly felt like any time had passed at all when an alarm on San Lang’s phone broke their simple enjoyment of each other’s company. Xie Lian hurried to change and make sure his hair wasn’t a mess. Once he was sure he was presentable and it wasn’t completely obvious the shirt was too tight for his shoulders and pants too long for his legs, Xie Lian headed out to join San Lang once more.
San Lang’s eye twinkled with amusement as he saw him coming out. He always seemed to find the sight of Xie Lian in his clothes entertaining for some reason. Xie Lian really didn’t get it. He thought San Lang looked much better in the clothes, and not just because they fit him properly.
“Shall we?” San Lang offered his hand, smile growing when Xie Lian took it and followed him out to his car.
***
Art galleries were never places Xie Lian hung around much, even back when his parents had had such a sophisticated social life. But things changed when you were close friends with renowned local artist Hua Cheng.
Every three months, Hua Cheng rented out a space in town to showcase and sell his work that season.
The work could be dark at times. Xie Lian could remember the heavy air that had hung over the first gallery he’d been to. With so many paintings practically dripping blood and littered with enough eerie eyes to outnumber viewers in the hall, how could it not feel dark? But Xie Lian thought the art was getting lighter, or perhaps he was just getting more cultured at viewing Hua Cheng’s pieces.
It still couldn’t be said they were happy pieces really. Even the statue of the delicately carved butterflies, with wings so thin Xie Lian wondered how Hua Cheng hadn’t just snapped them, had an air of danger to them. And even the hopeful painting of a lone white flower shielded from a bloody rain was surrounded by a gruesome and, for those with a fainter heart, stomach turning background. Somehow Hua Cheng could even make calligraphy bone chilling, an odd and sharp contrast to the tender love poems that seemed to make up his preferred subject matter, but most couldn’t read them anyways.
The only pieces not touched by that air of despair were the pieces Hua Cheng had asked Xie Lian to sit for. Twenty sketches, four paintings, and two statues. Xie Lian had already been touched Hua Cheng wanted to include him in his art at all, but to see the way Hua Cheng crafted him truly made one breathless. The only thing eerie about the pieces was how lifelike they were. But mostly they were full of a clear fondness for the subject that made Xie Lian’s heart swell and mind swim to think about.
And well. Coming to Hua Cheng’s art gallery for the third time, dressed in his clothes and holding his hand already did funny things to his heart. For this reason he had intended to try to avoid looking too much at the art of him. Yet who knew they were the most popular pieces in the gallery, with this season’s showing specifically set up to highlight them?
So inevitably through the night guests would notice the pieces and recognize Xie Lian in person and it was quite easy to guess where their minds led them. Most people of course were polite enough to keep their comments to the art itself.
Shi Qingxuan had never had such a filter.
“It’s almost like the whole gallery is just for A-Lian.”
Xie Lian laughed awkwardly, feeling his face heat up. “You’re exaggerating. It’s only a few pieces. San Lang is just branching out his subject matter and I happened to be available.”
Still, besides the pieces of Xie Lian, the gallery this time seemed to be mainly comprised of that devil touched calligraphy. Though most people couldn’t decipher it at all, those who could would find verse after verse of love poems, making it rather hard not to assume things.
“Gege makes an excellent subject,” Hua Cheng said with a soft fondness that made Xie Lian’s heart waver.
Xie Lian tamped down the fluttering in his heart to gently scold him. “Really though, San Lang, you said you didn’t intend to sell those pieces but you hardly made anything else to sell this time. Won’t you be in trouble?”
Hua Cheng laughed, not bothered in the slightest. “If gege is worried about my finances, he really needn’t be. I have plenty of money. But if gege dislikes that San Lang spent so much time working on pieces of him, this one humbly prays gege will forgive him?”
“There is nothing to forgive,” Xie Lian said softly, ignoring the absolutely exasperated look He Xuan was giving them at this point.
It was true though. How could Xie Lian be mad at art so clearly crafted with affection? Yet also, how could Xie Lian misunderstand the gallery’s intention when he knew who those poems were written for?
Xie Lian had spent the last ten minutes staring at the same piece of calligraphy. He’d seen Hua Cheng’s calligraphy before, hung up in the man’s own home, but he’d assumed it was in a foreign language. Yet when they’d come in and Xie Lian had finally thought to ask exactly which language Hua Cheng wrote in, the man had given him such a funny smile.
“What do you mean which language? It’s just normal characters, gege.”
Now that he had said so, Xie Lian could sort of tell which characters were probably supposed to be “the sea”, “waters”, “the peak”, and “clouds”.
“Does gege want me to read it to him?” Hua Cheng asked, having apparently finally gotten out of the conversation with the buyer that had caused him to leave Xie Lian’s side for a moment.
“No, I think I can read it.” Xie Lian mused seriously, staring intently at the words for a few more moments. “This is ‘Ache of Separation’, isn’t it?”
Hua Cheng clapped. “As expected of gege, you’re very knowledgeable.”
“This is nothing, only…”
Hua Cheng cocked his head to the side.
“Isn’t it a bit out of place here? Considering the rest of your art?”
“But gege, all of this one’s calligraphy is love poems.”
Xie Lian looked at him in surprise, then took in all the demonic calligraphy pieces around them. He’d thought it was fitting to see such devilish writing beside such provocative paintings before, but who knew the subject matter was so drastically different! Xie Lian doubted most of the buyers of such pieces could read them. “All of them?”
“En.”
“I had no idea San Lang was so sentimental.” He teased.
But Hua Cheng’s expression had softened, and his voice filled with fondness. “All of my art is for my beloved. If I can’t find the spark to paint or carve something happy, I want to at least honor them in my calligraphy.”
Xie Lian felt his heart lurch unpleasantly. “I didn’t know San Lang was seeing someone.”
But Hua Cheng shook his head. “They are someone who is virtuous, noble, and gracious. And much too beautiful for this San Lang. I am lucky just to have met them. I dare not ask for more.” His voice had been soft, so gentle even a breath might have shattered the words as he stared at that poem with unabashed love.
Xie Lian couldn’t help but look away. There was a terrible twist in his stomach at the thought that someone would reject such tender adoration. After all, what was Hua Cheng lacking? Yet he thought himself unworthy of this muse of his? Xie Lian found himself highly uncomfortable with the current line of conversation and scrambled to find another topic. Luckily, another guest came up to talk to Hua Cheng about his art, and the moment passed. Hua Cheng did not bring up his muse again and Xie Lian did not ask him. He knew now. Regardless of the playful words Hua Cheng exchanged, his heart was completely and utterly filled by this oh so virtuous, noble, graceful, and much too beautiful someone.
***
Xie Lian sighed as he cradled his broken phone. His luck truly was miserable. He couldn’t do his job until it was fixed now, how inconvenient. But, well, it was too late to go get it fixed now and he knew where to go to meet up with Hua Cheng anyways. Hua Cheng had invited him out to dinner to celebrate a new surge of interest in his art the latest gallery showing had caused. Though Hua Cheng had refused to sell any of the art of Xie Lian’s image, the new style was a stark contrast to his usual work and was quickly gaining him more attention for his incredible handle of the human form. New interest in his work meant his other work could be seen by a wider audience, his name spread further. And his refusal to sell any artwork of Xie Lian, while annoying some art collectors, had also launched a new, romantic interest in Hua Cheng’s personal life and artistic motivations. So overall, in spite of not selling much, the exposure for the night had been very good indeed.
It wasn’t uncommon for Hua Cheng to take him out to dinner. Usually they tried to meet up for breakfast, when Xie Lian was just starting his day and Hua Cheng was just ending his, since dinner was peak time for Xie Lian’s job. But their jobs were both flexible after all and dinner with Hua Cheng was the perfect reason not to work every day of the week.
In fact, if one looked at it a different way, perhaps his luck was very good getting his phone broken at such a time? He could meet up with Hua Cheng without it, and since he hadn’t planned to do much work tonight anyways and it had broken on his way up to his apartment to freshen up, the timing was almost perfect so that he would miss nearly no time. It would truly be like he had never broken it at all. Except for the headache the bill would be. But hadn’t he been meaning to get a new phone anyways?
Xie Lian tossed his broken phone to his bed and hurried to brush out his hair at least before he left. He was running a bit late, but that much was common and he knew Hua Cheng wouldn’t worry too much.
He stared at his closet, wondering briefly if he should change, then shook his head. It wasn’t a date, there was no reason to fuss over his appearance. Besides, he really didn’t have a great variety in his outfits, and they were all built for practicality, worn out and well loved from back when he’d taken on odd landscaping jobs as his main source of income. Many were covered in wood stain or paint from the furniture flipping he did. Really, he did need to update his wardrobe. But it couldn’t be helped today.
Xie Lian was just about to head out when he heard a knock on his door. Had Hua Cheng come to pick him up? It happened sometimes. He’d usually text ahead of time but, well, Xie Lian couldn’t very well tell whether or not he had.
He headed to the door, smile turning inquisitive when he saw it was not Hua Cheng who had come, but Feng Xin and Mu Qing.
“We need to talk to you.” Mu Qing pushed past him.
“I was actually on my way out. I’m already running late to meet up with San Lang.”
Mu Qing scowled. “All the more reason to talk now, you shouldn’t be hanging around someone dangerous like that.”
The argument was not a new one, only usually Feng Xin didn’t look so perturbed about it. With a sigh, Xie Lian closed the door behind them and turned to listen. The sooner they could talk, the sooner he could head out.
“I’m already late as it is. It’s rude to make him wait.”
“Who cares about making him wait? He’s crazy! Let him wait! Let him wait forever!”
Xie Lian crossed his arms, about to scold their harsh words when Mu Qing cut him off.
“Open your laptop and go to furaffinity.”
Xie Lian was confused, but sighed and did as Mu Qing said. His friends rarely were on the same page, but Xie Lian really didn’t want to go against both of them. Not because he couldn’t kick them both out without breaking a sweat, but they’d only just begun rekindling the relationship between the three of them, so it really would be unfortunate to ruin it without even hearing out what had made them so worked up.
“Look up the user Crimson Rain.”
Xie Lian once again did as he asked. The icon that came up was that of a fox furry, one eye black and one eye red. It seemed the user was quite popular, with links to both a patreon and a comic titled “Crimson Rain Sought Flower.” Xie Lian looked up at Mu Qing, raising a brow as he waited for an explanation.
“This is your San Lang’s account.”
Xie Lian looked back at the account with renewed interest, looking through some of the art posted. “It’s very different from his usual work. Much brighter. Very good.” Xie Lian hummed, proud to see what a range his friend had.
“You don’t think that’s weird?” Mu Qing asked, clearly irritated by Xie Lian’s reaction.
“There’s nothing wrong with furries. And the art really is very good. But I’m a bit surprised you would know before me. I don’t imagine he told you himself.”
“Don’t you think it’s weird he wouldn’t tell you? I always wondered how he had so much money when his art doesn’t sell well! He’s been lying to you!”
Xie Lian tilted his head. “He’s never really said the galleries paid his income. He probably just wanted to keep the two separate to develop a certain reputation for each. It’s clear he has a distinctly different style when he works digitally after all. But besides that I’m not really sure what makes you convinced this is him.”
“Qingxuan told me. Their lockscreen is of He Xuan as a shark and when I commented on it they told me about his account.”
So Shi Qingxuan knew? That was a bit odd. Xie Lian was sure he was closer to Hua Cheng. Then again, He Xuan had known him longer and Shi Qingxuan was his partner. It probably just hadn’t come up yet.
“Alright. But why does this make him dangerous or crazy? It’s just an art account.”
Mu Qing took the laptop, clicking for a bit before opening an early chapter of Crimson Rain Sought Flower and turning the computer to Xie Lian.
The disclaimer at the top read: “Early versions of the comic had Flower named Dianxia, but it’s the same character. Also this art is old, I’m only reuploading because you guys asked for it, the comic still makes sense if you start from here after I stopped drawing on shitty thin sketchbook paper you can see the other pages through and actually got a tablet.”
It was a lighthearted little comic about a Ferret named Dianxia, or apparently Flower, and a Fox named Crimson. Xie Lian could see the art style was a bit rougher, the anatomy still not all there, but it was endearing. Clear love and effort had gone into making the comic. It was dated fifteen years back, and seeing how much Hua Cheng had improved in that time made his heart squeeze.
“Do you get it now?” Mu Qing asked.
“He really has improved a lot,” Xie Lian complimented.
“NO! That’s you.” Mu Qing pointed to the ferret.
Xie Lian tilted his head. He supposed it looked a little like him. But not so much that it was a clear match up. “This is dated back to when we were seventeen. Hua Cheng would have been fourteen then, we didn’t know each other.”
“He obviously did.” Mu Qing tapped the name.
“Dianxia? Why does that make it me?”
“Don’t you remember the counselor name you used to have at those summer camps you would drag us to?”
Xie Lian thought back. It had been many years since he’d thought back to his days volunteering and even longer since he’d lived them. But now that Mu Qing mentioned it he thought he could vaguely recall the name being a running joke that Mu Qing had sarcastically picked for him the first summer.
“I don’t think that’s really proof… and I really don’t remember ever meeting a kid missing their right eye.”
“I don’t think he was back then, look at the way he draws himself.”
Xie Lian looked at the clumsy first attempts at the anthropomorphic fox with scraggly black hair so much uglier than the chic braid the newer icon had, and one eye red and one eye black.
“Don’t you remember that insane problem child with heterochromia?”
Xie Lian did vaguely remember such a child who had followed him like a puppy the summer he was sixteen, incredibly well mannered for him but ready to bite and kick at anyone else who tried to work with him. “You think he’s Hong-er?” Xie Lian was pretty sure that had been the child’s name. It had stood out to him as a cruel way to name a child at the time.
“I don’t remember his name. But look at the early versions of the comic, they all have to do with things we did at camp. Some of them are way too specific.”
So Xie Lian read. Some of them really did seem similar, but he couldn’t be sure that meant Hua Cheng had been to the summer camp, and it really didn’t mean that the ferret was based on Xie Lian. Or, that’s what he had thought until he got to one of the chapters.
Paracord bracelets were a common craft at camp, but Xie Lian had had a special weaving technique the kids often asked him to teach them to make the paracord bracelet look like a flower chain.
This alone didn’t necessarily mean anything. Xie Lian certainly hadn’t invented that method. But what convinced him was the scene Hua Cheng had drawn.
Dianxia gave Crimson that flower crown paracord bracelet and said as he tied it on.
“If you have emotions to let out, let them out. If your hands need to move, move them. But instead of solving those problems with violence, let them out with your art.”
“My art still isn’t very good. No one wants to look at such ugly drawings. There’s no point in drawing.”
“Of course there’s a point. Crimson uses his fists because he wants them to pay attention, right? Just make art they can’t look away from. I’ll bet one day you could be famous. Until then, keep practicing. Draw until they can’t avoid hearing you.”
It was a silly speech, just one to encourage a child going through problems to find a healthier outlet, but the lines stirred something in Xie Lian’s memory.
His expression was somewhere between fondness and awe. “He really took my advice to heart.”
The summer camps had been some of the more difficult projects Xie Lian had helped with. And he’d never really known how much it had helped any of the kids. To know his words had meant so much to Hua Cheng, truly it wasn’t for nothing.
“That’s all you have to say? He’s obsessed with you! Who’s to say he hasn’t been stalking you for years?! This whole comic is about pairing the two of you together.”
“I really don’t think he’s like that though. Besides, I’m much different now, I doubt San Lang even recognizes me.”
Mu Qing pulled back the computer, clicking and typing until he pulled up a character reference sheet for Flower. Updated it said. It showed the slight change in the character design, mainly making a point of changing the clothes and highlighting an update to sexuality.
“Flower is now canonically asexual! I know ace people can still have and enjoy sex, but for personal reasons I will not be making any more explicit art of Flower for the foreseeable future and would appreciate if fans didn’t either. Don’t be stupid about it or I’ll just delete the whole comic. Crimson is still fair game for nsfw requests though :p”
“This is dated pretty soon after you met again right?”
Xie Lian tore his eyes away from the reference sheet for a moment to check, nodding. “Explicit…?”
Mu Qing’s face darkened, but his posture shifted to something more confident, like he was finally getting the reaction he’d expected. With a few more clicks. He pulled up the explicit works. Some had Flower alone, while others were clearly ship pieces placing Flower and Crimson in a series of creative positions.
He was so focused on the images in front of him, ears deafened by the blood rushing past them, that he hadn’t heard his front door open and Hua Cheng stepping inside.
“Gege, you’re really late and you aren’t responding to your phone are you—“ his pupils shrank as he realized what Xie Lian was looking at.
“Leave! He already knows about your sick little hobby.”
Usually Hua Cheng couldn’t care less what Mu Qing and Feng Xin said to him. Usually he’d tell them off with some quip and do as he pleased anyways.
But this time Xie Lian hadn’t even had time to process what was happening and turn around before he saw the door closing.
Xie Lian instantly stood to start running after him, but Mu Qing and Feng Xin held him back.
“Are you crazy? You just found out he’s been obsessed with you for years!”
“I trust San Lang. I want to talk to him about it properly.”
“He’s clearly guilty! He ran as soon as he saw you knew!”
“You yelled at him to.”
“And how did he get into your house anyways?”
“He has a key.”
Feng Xin erupted in outrage. “We have to change your locks, you can’t stay here tonight!”
“I really don’t think he’s a threat though.”
“You’ve gone almost as crazy as him! Did he do something to your head?” It was clear they were both ready to try to restrain him again, on edge about the possibility of him running after Hua Cheng.
Xie Lian thought for a moment before sighing. “Can I stay with you?”
“Of course. Tomorrow we’ll go straight to your landlord and get your place safe again.”
Xie Lian followed them outside, watching as his friends slowly relaxed at seeing his easy pace following them. When Feng Xin unlocked his car, Xie Lian moved to open the backdoor, then bolted, taking off down the street towards Hua Cheng’s house.
He could hear them cuss, then begin to argue about whether to follow by foot or by car. The scene would’ve made him laugh if his heart wasn’t in his throat.
Hua Cheng’s car hadn’t been in the parking lot. Would he be heading home or somewhere else? Without his phone, Xie Lian had no way to contact him, and he honestly wasn’t sure whether or not Hua Cheng would answer anyways. After all, he was probably driving.
So Xie Lian continued the trip to the familiar condo, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw the car in the driveway.
Taking the front steps two at a time, Xie Lian knocked on the door and waited.
It felt like an eternity before Hua Cheng opened it, looking stiff and despairing, like he expected to see his world collapse at any moment. “I already know what you want to ask. I’ll delete my entire account tonight. If you want payment for the use of your image we can work it out with Yin Yu. I’m sorry.”
“That wasn’t what I wanted to ask you.” Xie Lian tried to meet his eye but Hua Cheng stubbornly remained staring at the ground. “I hope you’ll answer me sincerely.”
Hua Cheng turned his back to him, as if he couldn’t bear to even face Xie Lian for this, but nodded, shoulders tight and head down. “Alright.”
“Who exactly is that muse you create all your art for?”
Hua Cheng’s hands clenched and unclenched. The night felt so quiet. The small sounds of crickets and passing cars much too loud. Finally, he spoke up, so quietly and slowly, as if just speaking it pained him. “If you already know, why ask?”
“So I wasn’t misunderstanding.” Xie Lian stared at that red clothed back, the lines of tension in it expressive enough to make up for the face he couldn’t see. “You don’t want to know how I feel about it?”
Hua Cheng’s head raised for a moment, as if he was about to look back, but Xie Lian realized he was just looking at E-Ming, who for once did not run straight for Xie Lian, as if he could sense the distress his owner was in.
Xie Lian watched as E-Ming came to purr at Hua Cheng’s legs in a rare show of affection for his owner. Hua Cheng’s head dropped again.
His voice cracked. Xie Lian wondered if he was crying. “Will you not tell me? I promise to take down all the work and I’ll make sure Yin Yu gives you as much compensation as you want. Not just for your image, but for any distress this might have caused you.”
Though Hua Cheng couldn’t see him, Xie Lian shook his head. “I don’t want money. This must be said clearly.”
Hua Cheng’s fists clenched again, fingers digging into his palms. Swallowing he let out a deep breath and turned his head up to the ceiling, eyes closed. “That’s true. That’s for the best.” His voice was thick with emotion Xie Lian couldn’t place, but he knew there was nothing hopeful in that tone. Like he was awaiting a fate worse than death, his entire body tensed even as E-Ming’s purrs filled the quiet room.
Then came the short, soft sounds of Xie Lian’s footsteps, closing the small distance between them, arms wrapping around Hua Cheng and face burying into his back.
It took a bit for some of the tension to release from Hua Cheng’s figure, but when it did it was like a wave crashing down. Hua Cheng turned into the embrace, practically collapsing into Xie Lian’s arms as E-Ming circled the pair, purring reassuringly.
Xie Lian could hear a choke out half sob catch in Hua Cheng’s throat.
“You’ll really be the death of me.”
Xie Lian ran his hands through Hua Cheng’s hair soothingly, feeling a shudder run through the man. “If San Lang would let me close the door, I’d like to talk a bit more about it all?”
Hua Cheng stiffened for a minute, looking up with watery eyes, but seeing Xie Lian’s own so steady and reassuring, he nodded, pulling away long enough for them to close the door and head inside properly, E-Ming following behind.
Hua Cheng sat on the couch, giving Xie Lian space. That wouldn’t do. Xie Lian sat next to him, even closer than usual, smiling as Hua Cheng looked up at him, too shocked to even protest E-Ming jumping up to lounge over their laps. There was relief in that eye now, and so much hope it made Xie Lian’s heart want to burst.
“Why did San Lang make me a ferret?”
This clearly hadn’t been the question Hua Cheng had been expecting and he blinked rapidly. Xie Lian almost wanted to laugh, he’d never seen the man so flustered before.
“You… said they were your favorite animal.” He replied after a moment.
“I did?” Xie Lian tried to think back to his time with Hong-er, but he really couldn’t recall such trivial moments of their interactions in that much detail.
Hua Cheng nodded. “I drew one for you. You probably don’t remember but—“
“Ah!” Xie Lian did remember that. He’d kept the little drawing for awhile, but it was long gone by now. “You did, that’s right! You’ve really improved a lot.”
Hua Cheng seemed to be unusually speechless tonight so Xie Lian continued the conversation for him, squeezing his hand.
“So a fox is your favorite animal?”
Hua Cheng shook his head. “It just seemed fitting.” Absentmindedly, he reached out to pet E-Ming.
Xie Lian couldn’t help but smile at that, watching the scene quietly. He was just about to speak up again when Hua Cheng finally opened his mouth.
“Does… gege not think I had bad intentions meeting him again?”
Xie Lian raised a brow. “Did you?”
“No! Well… I… I saw a picture of you with Shi Qingxuan and I went to the housewarming party hoping I’d see you there but I really… before that I didn’t know anything about how you were doing. Besides… well… I saw the news reports when the business failed.”
“If I recall, when we met again I was the one who had to ask San Lang for his number to meet up again.”
“En.”
“And Flower is more like a character for you, isn’t he?”
Hua Cheng hummed. “He wasn’t, then he was. Then he wasn’t again. He… After I lost my eye I started doing art more fanatically.”
Xie Lian nodded. They’d talked about this before. Losing his eye had been understandably traumatic for the fourteen year old, but in addition to the mental strain, the healing process for his body and getting adjusted to his new vision restrictions and depth perception was difficult. Art had helped. Had kept him stable.
“But my stuff was really dark. Adults couldn’t stand it. I was encouraged to draw something happier. Time with you was the best thing I could think of so it started like that. I couldn’t draw humans well so they started as animals. Then I got in a few furry circles and my art started really improving. When I realized I wasn’t just drawing happy memories anymore I changed Dianxia to Flower. But I… I can’t say I ever truly stopped loving gege. So when I saw you again…”
“So you felt like you had to update how you portrayed Flower to keep matching me?”
It wasn’t what Hua Cheng had been going to say but he nodded all the same, a bit stiff again.
“San Lang got my sexuality wrong though,” Xie Lian smiled, holding back a laugh when Hua Cheng looked up at him startled again.
“Gege was wearing an asexual pride pin when I met you?”
“En. But I’m demisexual, you’ll have to update Flower’s reference sheet again.” Xie Lian’s eyes crinkled with a smile, glad the tension had eased from Hua Cheng’s shoulders again.
“I’ll take that into account,” Hua Cheng said slowly. “Does gege not want me to delete it?”
“Why should you? It’s something San Lang has been working on for fifteen years now. It gave San Lang a community and an artistic outlet. I think it’s very good you keep it up. Very right.”
“…Even the explicit drawings?” His expression was complicated.
“En. It’s not as if anyone but us knows it’s based on me. Besides, Flower seemed to be San Lang’s favorite subject for that sort of thing.”
Hua Cheng pouted, and Xie Lian knew he was at ease again. “Gege is teasing me. This one knows he wronged you, you don’t have to make fun of him.”
Xie Lian laughed. “I’m not, I’m not, San Lang has quite the handle on anatomy, his drawings are very good. It’s no wonder he’s so popular.”
“Gege!” Hua Cheng whined in protest and Xie Lian felt his heart had never been so light. “If gege keeps teasing this one, he might tease back.”
“Oh?” Xie Lian smiled. “Is San Lang going to show me the patreon exclusive art? The commenters said it was very worth the investment.”
Hua Cheng shot him a look that didn’t manage to be threatening at all before tentatively reaching out to cup Xie Lian’s cheeks, his expression softening to a hopeful question.
Xie Lian felt his cheeks warm, but nodded slightly, breath catching as he felt Hua Cheng’s lips fall over his own, their lips parting slightly to welcome each other.
Xie Lian had never really been kissed like this before, though he was old enough for most to call it a shame. He thought the only shame about it was that he truly wasn’t sure where someone was supposed to put their hands. Hua Cheng was cupping his face but did that mean Xie Lian should find a different position? Where was the most natural place to put them?
Before he could decide, Hua Cheng pulled back, looking starry eyed at him for a moment before resting his head against Xie Lian’s shoulder.
E-Ming had been jostled out of their laps at some point Xie Lian hadn’t noticed, and the two were turned towards each other on the couch, half embracing, but mostly settling into the happy wonder of their own feelings being reciprocated.
***
Xie Lian held his new phone in one hand while he carded his fingers through Hua Cheng’s hair with the other. His boyfriends eyes were shut, head resting in Xie Lian’s lap with a satisfied smile.
“Oh is this He Xuan?” Xie Lian asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable quiet the two had built over the last hour.
Hua Cheng opened his eye lazily, looking up at him. “Is gege really still reading that?”
“San Lang worked very hard on this comic and it got him very famous. I want to see what adventures San Lang imagined us going on. Plus I can see how you’ve grown over the years.”
Hua Cheng sighed as if terribly put out, but didn’t move from Xie Lian’s lap. “If you’ve gotten to the part where Black Water comes in, yes, that’s He Xuan’s fishie.”
“Fishie?”
“Fish fursona. Or, fishsona I guess.”
“Does Qingxuan appear in your comic?”
Hua Cheng scoffed. “Not until much later and only because she paid me.”
“What is she?”
“A swan,” he grumbled. “Her design was a pain in the ass, she kept changing it.”
“Then I’ll look forward to seeing the result of San Lang’s hard work.” Xie Lian leaned down to kiss him, but only managed to get his nose. It still made Hua Cheng smile. “Oh but… hm.”
Hua Cheng tilted his head. “What?”
“Doesn’t that make for an odd couple?”
Hua Cheng laughed. “You think a fox and a ferret isn’t an odd couple then?”
Xie Lian supposed he couldn’t really argue with that, and went back to reading. However he hadn’t gotten very far before Hua Cheng sat up and, before Xie Lian could ask what was wrong, his boyfriend flopped against his side, wrapping him up in a hug and nuzzling at him.
“Gege is neglecting his San Lang.”
“You could read with me.”
“Just because the part you’re at isn’t the worst anymore doesn’t mean it’s not years old. I can’t look at such old art, it was terrible.”
Xie Lian pulled out of Hua Cheng’s arms, snickering at the childish pout his boyfriend gave him, as though he truly was wronged. If others could see scary and aloof, local horror artist Hua Cheng like this, they’d probably believe it to be some extremely odd dream. Pushing aside his own embarrassment, Xie Lian sat himself in Hua Cheng’s lap, wrapping his boyfriend’s arms around his waist before looking up.
“Am I still neglecting you if I read like this?”
“Gege is sly.” Hua Cheng buried his face in Xie Lian’s hair, the sound of his happily hammering heart a gentle rhythm against Xie Lian’s back.
“San Lang really is dedicated to this comic though. It’s updated every week since you started.”
He felt Hua Cheng shift his face a bit.
“It was just a fun hobby. It still is, though I suppose it is my main source of income from the patreon exclusives.”
“I can understand why San Lang is so popular.”
Hua Cheng nuzzled him for a bit, then spoke up. “Does gege want to meet the fans?”
“Huh?”
“The first tier of the patreon is access to a discord server. Everyone pretty much knows I’m Crimson and has guessed Flower is based on someone I’m with too after all the updates and changes to the character sheet lately. You wouldn’t have to tell them though if you didn’t want to.”
Xie Lian thought for a moment then nodded. “Okay. How do I join?”
“First you have to make a discord account.”
“And that’s a…?”
“An app.”
Xie Lian nodded and went to download it. He put in his name as “Flower” without a second thought, missing the smile it put on his boyfriend’s face. Seeing he could add a picture, Xie Lian pulled back up the furaffinity account and went to the latest character reference, saving the full ferret version and setting it as his picture.
“Why not the anthropomorphic version?”
“This one is cuter.”
Hua Cheng laughed. “I mostly add those when I’m feeling too lazy to draw the characters properly.”
“It’s a very good way to be lazy then. Okay my account is done.”
“I’ll send gege the invite code.” Hua Cheng reached for his phone and, as promised, Xie Lian soon found himself in the discord.
Butcher Zhu: Ha welcome to the discord ‘flower’
Dianxia Flower: Thank you. Nice to meet you all.
“San Lang, my name changed?”
“I gave you a nickname and a role.”
“Role?”
Hua Cheng tapped the screen, showing Xie Lian a sidebar with categories and a list of everyone in the discord. At the top was the category ‘Ruler of Ghost City’ followed by ‘Ghost City Council’, ‘Ghost City Cameos’, and at the very bottom ‘Ghost City Residents’.
“How come we’re the only ones in this role?”
“The roles have to do with which patreon tier they’re at. You don’t have a patreon so I just put you up with me.”
“What do they mean?”
“It’s a reference to things gege hasn’t gotten to yet. Eventually most of Crimson and Flower’s adventures take place in Ghost City. Anyone in the cameo tier has actually had their fursona show up as a background character.”
Xie Lian smiled as he scrolled through the different channels, seeing how active the group was. “I see. This really is a little community.”
“En.” Hua Cheng kissed his head.
Black Water: wait is that actually him
did you make him a discord just for this
Funny Bunny: is that actually flower????
Boquin: fr? Omg hi
“What does fr mean?”
“For real,” Hua Cheng explained patiently, resting his chin on Xie Lian’s head as he watched Xie Lian respond. The server was blowing up with activity over the news, several people pinging their friends to come meet Flower.
Dianxia Flower: It’s very nice to meet all of you. I’m very grateful for your support of ‘Crimson’, please continue supporting him. I am not very good with technology so I will probably not be on often, but it makes me happy to know ‘Crimson’ has such a warm community behind him.
Crimson Rain pinned a message to this channel. See all pinned messages.
“What’s that?”
“It’ll make it easier for people to see your message later. They’re already burying it in the chat with how noisy they are.”
Call me Cheerios: Flower/Crimson real life confirmed?
Crimson Rain replied: yes
He pinned that one too as the server members went wild.
Dianxia Flower: I also should inform you that ‘Crimson’ will soon be accepting Not Safe For Work Flower requests again. We have discussed it and unless anything happens that either of us feel is out of line, it doesn’t bother me. Thank you for your understanding.
Hua Cheng snickered as members took in this third piece of groundbreaking news and pinned Xie Lian’s message before tossing his phone to the side. “Now will gege stop giving his phone so much attention?”
“They’re asking so many questions.” Xie Lian stared at his phone in awe. He’d never had so many notifications before.
“It’s fine. We can post a Q and A on my page if gege really wants to bother answering them.”
“Of course I do. They’re like you’re family.”
Hua Cheng shrugged, but Xie Lian knew he was right. Despite his assertion he had no friends, there was no way he didn’t think of them dearly.
Xie Lian set down his phone and leaned back to kiss him. “But I can put my phone away for today, it’s almost time to start dinner anyways.”
Hua Cheng’s complaints were quickly washed away. “Gege’s staying for dinner then?”
“It’s a slow day anyways.” He sat up and stretched, heading into the kitchen.
“You know gege would save a lot of money if he just moved in.”
Xie Lian barely thought about it before nodding. “Okay.”
He heard a sharp breath behind him and turned around to find Hua Cheng staring, his eye wide.
“Really?”
“En. San Lang is right, I come over all the time anyways, it makes more sense. My lease is month to month so I can move in soon if San Lang was sincere.”
“Yes,” Hua Cheng said firmly. “You will find no one more sincere.”
Xie Lian smiled and stepped back to take his hand and lead him into the kitchen.
“Does this mean I’ll get to have gege’s cooking every day?” Hua Cheng helped him get out the ingredients, then promptly decided he’d helped enough for the moment and hugged Xie Lian from behind, chin resting on his shoulder as he chopped the vegetables.
“If you’d like. Did my San Lang not get enough affection today?”
“This one has never had enough.” He watched Xie Lian work quietly for a moment. “I’ll cook breakfast for gege every morning.”
“En. I would like that.”
“And gege can steal any of my clothes whenever he pleases.”
“San Lang,” he batted at him.
Hua Cheng didn’t seem bothered, much too happy to even fake hurt.
After another moment though, Xie Lian couldn’t help but smile. “And San Lang can draw me whenever he pleases.”
He could practically feel the happiness radiating off Hua Cheng. Finishing his cutting, he turned around to give his boyfriend a quick kiss. “Should I stay over?”
“Gege knows this one would never say no to that.”
Xie Lian sank into another kiss before pushing him off gently. “If San Lang doesn’t stop distracting me we’ll never eat dinner.”
“Maybe this one isn’t hungry for dinner.” Hua Cheng said innocently.
“Behave,” Xie Lian chided, going back to cooking. “Or else today’s dinner will truly be a disaster.”
“Everything gege makes tastes good.” But Hua Cheng stopped trying to distract him in favor of helping anyways.
So they cooked together and Xie Lian thought he really might actually be improving. Watching Hua Cheng happily enjoy his cooking, he couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.