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This was a bad idea. Kyle was pretty sure they think they’re being sneaky but they are quite the opposite. He’s pretty sure that Cartman hasn’t noticed them and if he has, he doesn’t care. Which would make absolutely no sense to who he is.
At first, it didn’t exactly matter to Kyle, he figured they would eat bored eventually as it wasn’t like they did that much interesting. But after an hour, they were still following them, hiding poorly along the way.
This was only their first date, and they were already being found out. Kyle knew they shouldn’t have gone to South Park for their date.
But no. Cartman had convinced him that everything would be fine. That no one would catch them. How Kyle had believed that he didn’t know.
Their date was finally almost over, being ended at South Park’s “best” restaurant, Buca De Faggoncini. Kyle was sure Stan and Kenny would have left them alone at this point. But no, instead the two had sat in at a table nearby them holding up the menus to hide their faces like they were in a weird comedy movie.
But Kyle tried to ignore the two, figuring that he would confront the two of them later and at least let himself enjoy the last of this damn date.
“Hey, Kyle,” Cartman said, snapping him out of his furious thoughts. “What the fuck is up with you?”
“It’s nothing,” Kyle said, brushing him off. And while Cartman clearly didn’t believe him, he was interrupted by the server before he could say anything.
Kyle could pretty easily ignore them for the rest of the time, surprisingly. He and Cartman had a pleasant conversation as they ate, and Kyle could forget that Stan and Kenny were there.
Until, of course, they finally left the restaurant, and Kyle could hear Kenny and Stan talking behind them. He couldn’t take it.
“You can’t tell me you genuinely haven’t noticed them,” Kyle said, leaning over to Cartman slightly. Cartman raised an eyebrow.
“Haven’t noticed who?” Cartman asked, not keeping his voice as low as Kyle was. Kyle shushed him.
“That Kenny and Stan have been following us since this morning?” Kyle said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What the fuck?” Cartman said loudly, turning around. Kyle sighed. There goes all subtlety. But the two who had been following them had been caught red-handed. “What the fuck are you two fuckers doing?”
Kyle sighed, putting his face in his hands. He watched as Cartman chased down the two stalkers who had started running before the other two could. He sighed once more before walking, following them. He needed to make sure that Cartman didn’t hurt the two of them too badly. Plus, there was the fact that he wanted to know why the fuck they had been following them all day.
Once he had caught up with them, Cartman had caught Stan. It seemed that Kenny had runoff. But Stan was currently being held down by Cartman as Cartman screamed at him.
“What the fuck have yo- oh what’s up Kyle?” Cartman said, interrupting himself once he noticed Kyle. Kyle rolled his eyes.
“Whatever. Why have you guys been following us?” Kyle asked his arms over his chest.
“Look, I overheard Cartman and you talking about the fact that you were going to go on a date. I couldn’t believe it, so I went to Kenny. Then we decided to follow you guys.” Stan said, his voice rushed, “now get off me Cartman.”
“No asshole, you shouldn’t fucking fo-” Cartman started before Kyle interrupted him.
“Dude, just get off him. We already got the information out of him.” Kyle said, just wanting this to be over with.
“No. He’s apparently been following us around all day and I will not let him just get away with it.”
“You didn’t even notice until I pointed it out,” Kyle said, rolling his eyes.
“That doesn’t matter. I’m making a fucking example of this asshole.” Cartman responded, his voice loud.
“Fine, whatever,” Kyle said, turning to walk away.
He didn’t have to take more than a step before hearing Cartman ask, “Where the hell are you going, Kyle?”
“I’m leaving,” Kyle said, looking over his shoulder. “I’m going home because clearly, this is more important to you.”
He started walking, knowing that Cartman would be following him any moment now. He could hear Cartman talking about how Kyle was defiantly just playing with him and would come back any moment now. He could just barely hear Stan say something about how Kyle wouldn’t be coming back.
Eventually, though, Kyle could hear footsteps behind him. “Slow the fuck down asshole,” Cartman said as Kyle stopped. “How long did you notice them following us?”
“As I said earlier, I noticed them at the beginning. They really weren’t hiding well.” Kyle said, rolling his eyes. “Seriously. They hide behind menus. They weren’t even trying that hard.”
“I’m going to kick Kenny’s ass the next time I see him.”
“Just let it be Cartman. It’s really not that big of a deal.” Kyle said sighing.
“Yes, it is. This violates my privacy.” Cartman said.
“Leave it Cartman,” Kyle said pointedly.
“Never. I will never let this go.” Cartman said just as pointedly. Kyle was quiet for a moment before shrugging.
“Fine, then go for it,” Kyle said.
“I already said wait what?” Cartman said, taken aback.
“Go for it. But I will tell you that if I find out that you kicked either Kenny or Stan’s ass for this I’ll just not go out with you again.” Kyle said shrugging once more.
Cartman paused, thinking it over. Kyle stopped as they arrived in front of his house. He was about to just go inside before Cartman finally said, “Fine, I won’t kick Stan or Kenny’s ass.”
“Good then. I’ll see you later then.” Kyle said, opening the door. Cartman leaned in, most likely in an attempt for a kiss.
Kyle resisted the temptation to roll his eyes, but he held up a hand saying, “I don’t kiss on the first date.” Kyle smiled at the other, “I guess you have a reason for another date.”
“You manipulative bitch.” Cartman said.
Kyle shrugged, “If it works.” Kyle said before heading inside, knowing that his slight manipulation would work. Or at least he hoped it would.