Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

sleepy boys inc + some other bitches

the child     Today at 2:45 am

Hey guys

Si uhhh

I have some news that I want to share with the gc

Whenever anywone wkaw up would be poggers

wakes*

so* anyone*

the child     Today at 2:53 am

don’t feel pressured to respond

It’s kinda heavy

the child     Today at 3:10 am

Now that I think about it it’s not really something I should be sharing

I’m sorry lmao

harry po’er     Today at 3:12 am

hey, no! no, you can share it with us Tommy

i’m really sorry i didnmt respond, i was busy with music shit and i got really in my head about it. i’m here now. what is it?

and yes i’m willing to hear heavy shit right now, i’m actually in a really good mood tonight. :) <3

the child     Today at 3:14 am

No seriously I don’t know if this is shit that i need to share with you all

It’s

would involve a lot more than just telling you flat out first thing so

mmmmm bies     Today at 3:18 am

if you have something you want to share pleese do

it’s important oviously

so

it mite be super personl but like

we nkwo about the fact that technoblad pissed the bed til he was like 9 so

HogWash     Today at 3:19 am

I swear to fucking God, I will spite you if you bring that up again

mmmmm bies     Today at 3:19 am

👀 ahaha

you hear nothing tomy

i hear twchnobalr stoped wetting the bed at a resonbaly age

mhm word on the stretne is

the child     Today at 3:21 am

tubbo I think you need to slow down your typing

HogWash     Today at 3:21 am

Or just go to bed

Hey, isn’t it like three AM for you guys?

God, Philza is a terrible father

go to Sleep

harry po’er     Today at 3:22 am

stfu i am literally older than you,

also back to the topic? Tommy you can dm me if you’d like, i can help you plan out what you want to say, yeah?

@ WilburSoot

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:24 am

There’s a lot to say

WilburSoot     Today at 3:25 am

all of which i am willing to listen to, mate

i love you a lot

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:25 am

yeah

Just tiring,

Where should I systrt? can you give me a starting point

I don’t think I am able to come upw ith one on my own yet I’m really sorry

Agh

WilburSoot     Today at 3:27

no that’s fine

you could start at the beginning

like with stuff that happened first if that makes sense?

explain all the base stuff and then go from there

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:29

mmm

WilburSoot     Today at 3:37

you’ve been typing for a bit and i’m just letting you know that i’m still watching this conversation :)

[1 👍]

ty for the reaction bud

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:48

So i guess the beginning would be that I am a trans guy. I’m sure you know what that meanss but if you don’t it means I wasn’t really born a male, but like. yeah. I think you’ll be fine with this part yeah? I mean it’s not all of my gender shit, I’m tehcnically nonbinary but I can get into that later as i know it can overwhelm people,

Sorry I took so long to type, I kept deletiny jt,

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:51

will?

WilburSoot     Today at 3:51

i read it bud, i’m just trying to write down an appropriate response, i’m sorry i know this is really scary for you

i’m really fucking proud of you for feeling okay enough to tell me thst, that’s teally cool of you and it’s probabky not easy

thank you for trusting me enough

i still love you just as much as before and i’ll support you througheverything, yeah?

monetarily and otherwise lol

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:54

I think we both know i don’t need monetary assistance wil lmao /lh

yeah thank you, i jus. idk whwre to go from here

WilburSoot     Today at 3:56

it’s really no problem Tommy. i always want to be here for you

if you’re talking about transition, i can help with that, but i assume your talking about e messages. you can give me the news if that’s all the foundation you needed

Tommyinnit     Today at 3:58

yeah

this is where it gets really fucking bad will

do you want trigger warnings?

WilburSoot     Today at 3:58 am

i don’t think i need them right now, no

thanks for asking though <3

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:00 am

yeah

i’ll be typing for a bit so just. yeah

WilburSoot     Today at 4:00 am

it’s not lrovlem

i’ll be waitning :)

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:17 am

so my parents decided to send me to a conversion kind of camp. i don’t know where it is or whether it’s legal or not but i’m really really scsred

they still deadname me and everything, they think i’m gay i think? all of my transition has been done behind their backs and they thought my “Tommy” persona was just an online thing i did until they went theough my phone and saw my dms

then they went through my room and they found my shit

i really really fucked up wil and idk how to get myself out of this

feel like it would have just been easier to go as adeline and to have come out later so my parents didn’t find out like this

WilburSoot     Today at 4:22 am

oh my god Tom

i’m so fucking sorry that’s so shit. that’s so shit

you don’t deserve that at all, you’re so amazing and you deserve the fucking world. if they can’t see that that’s on them.

     reply to: feel like it would have just been easier…

no, no, don’t blame yourself. it’s literally only on them, they are shit

is there anything i can do to help? literally anything Tom

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:23 am

idk

i really don’t know

i’ve tried getting my real life friends to help me out but it’s all shit

they’re all kind of shit

even the queer ones,

i don’t think a lot of them know about the conversion therapy stuff but they olayed into the whole outing thing

i don’t want to get into that story

i don’t know

WilburSoot     Today at 4:24 am

that’s okay Toms

are you in any immediate danger?

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:24 am

not technically, my parents are both out of the house for the weekend

WilburSoot     Today at 4:24 am

okay good

do you know when they plan on having you out of the house?

Tommy? it’s only been about 5 minutes but i’m concerned bud, you okay?

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:30 am

yeah iv fine i jusvt nedb to caln down relaly quickly please

WilburSoot     Today at 4:30 am

here have this

[IMG description: Light grey geometric shapes fold in and out of each other in a breathing pattern over a medium grey background. There is dark grey text below the shapes that reads ‘Breathe in’ while the shapes are folding out, and ‘Breathe out’ while the shapes are collapsing.]

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:38 am

thank you wil

they said it starts on Wednesday

WilburSoot     Today at 4:38 am

shit like this wednesday?

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:39 am

yeah

i’m really fucked aren’t i lmao

WilburSoot     Today at 4:39 am

no, you’re not

i’m trying to figure out laws really quickly, i’ll be a second

Tomminnit     Today at 4:40 am

yeah

WilburSoot     Today at 4:45 am

so i think you could come here for the weekend while we figure some shit out yeah?

it’s technically saturday, they come back monday i assume?

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:45 am

really late monday yeah

and yeah that sounds like fun

sorry though i don’t have my license yet,

WilburSoot     Today at 4:46 am

not a problem at all

i’m heading down to the garage right now

i’m going to pack some water and shit and i’m going to come get you, okay?

pack for a long trip, i don’t know how long you’ll be here

you might want to text your parents to let them know?

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:46 am

i don’t have a phone anymore

ican’t

sordy im sorry

WilburSoot     Today at 4:47 am

no no toms its fine

it’s going to turn out fine either way, we cna figure this out

this might be illegal

do youbhave any proof of any other kind of shit that they’ve done? you’ve talked about your parents on occasion and i knew they were shitty before

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:50

well i think i have a concussion and my left fingers might be broke n

is that oeoof /g

WilburSoot     Today at 4:53

yeah that’s proof, unfortunately.

do you mind if i text Philza while i’m on my way? he won’t see it for another hour or so anyways.

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:54

just don’t tell him im trans

i wanna do that in my own time

but yes please do

WilburSoot     Today at 4:55
of course, mate

i’ll be right there, alright?

if you need just call me and i’ll pick up

i love you a lot, hang in there

Tommyinnit     Today at 4:58

i’ll try

see you

Chapter Text

Wilbur Soot’s heart felt ready to take off from the back of his tongue. No matter how much he tried to focus on the rumbling of his beloved Caroline’s engine, his ribcage continued rejecting his organs. His hands were itching, going numb, and he needed to pull over. He couldn’t. There was no way he would calm himself down fast enough to pick Tommy up before the kid’s parents started to suspect anything.

No fucking way.

He stared down at his phone, and the photos shoved into the back of the clear case. Cut outs of his face, Tommy’s, his ex’s, his parents’. His loved ones. His eyes blurred, and the colors blended together, a horrible blob of nothing.

Holy shit, focus. Zoning out was not something he wanted to be doing while driving.

He took a deep breath in through his nose.

Think.

Baby steps. What was he supposed to do when he gets to Tommy’s first?

“Help him pack,” he said. “He’ll need to take almost everything with him. Not everything, hopefully enough clothes to wear over a week or so so we don’t have to do laundry super often.”

Did Tommy even need clothes? Logically, he could just borrow Wilbur’s.

“No, no, they’re too big. Plus that would mean I’d run out of outfits.” Wilbur gave a short, out-of-breath laugh to the empty car. “And sharing underwear with a seventeen-year-old could raise some questions.”

Wilbur continued this back and forth with himself during all of the empty driving hours. The time flew and crawled at the same time, before he finally arrived right outside Tommy’s hometown.

His gas light turned on, and he groaned. Might as well stop, he presumes. Maybe he should pick up a snack or two.

He makes a beeline for the back of the store as soon as he arrives, immediately honing in on the cold drinks aisle. He grabbed a Coke and a Monster, and, on the way to the register, stopped by the candy aisle to grab a Kit Kat. Not the best snack, and not even the best candy, but it was the first thing to grab his eye.

“Afternoon. This all?” The cashier looked at Wilbur, clearly incredibly bored.

“Yeah, thanks.”

The only response he received was a tired roll of the eyes, and they slowly bagged his three items. He tapped his fingers on his thigh as he waited.

One, two, three... One, two, three… One two three…

His phone began buzzing in his pocket. He quickly grabbed his bag from the cashier and mumbled a quick “thank you,” making sure the door closed behind him before picking up the call.

“Tommy, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” the boy on the other side of the call mumbled, his voice sounding scratchy and pitiful. Wilbur swore he felt his heart shrivel up and die on the spot. If he were continuing the aircraft metaphor, this would be like his heart losing every engine simultaneously to a horrible fire and falling straight out of the air. “Uh, you’re coming, right?”

“Of course I am. What time is it now?”

“7:50,” Tommy said, after a moment of hesitation.

“Cool, good, I’m not way behind. Um, are you packed, mate?” No response. “It’s okay. I can help you, we have a whole day to get away from here, okay?”

Tommy hummed in affirmation, his voice wavering.

“I’ll be right there. I promise.”

“Okay, Wilby. Please be quick.”

Wilbur gave no hesitation before throwing Caroline into drive and speeding off. He didn’t talk to himself this time.

It took him less than 20 minutes to pull into Tommy’s driveway and jump out of the car. He practically ran up to the front door and rapped his knuckles against the wood harshly. Within seconds, he could hear feet pounding down the stairs.

“Tommy, holy shit,” he said, arms suddenly full of a shaking teenager. “I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up. I need to get ready to leave, I can’t cry.” Tommy pushed himself away from Wilbur’s chest as quickly as he’d arrived, and scrubbed at his eyes with the bloodied bandages wrapped around his left hand. “I can’t cry again. Please come help me pack.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Wilbur said, shaking himself out of the slight emotional whiplash he’d just been put through. “Of course. What have you got packed so far?”

“I’ve got my clothes shoved into a bag, with some other important stuff, you know. Toothbrush, blanket, pillow,” Tommy said, already rushing up the stairs with Wilbur close at his heels. “I need to grab a few other things, I know they’re not necessary but I want to… yeah. I don’t want to leave them. I don’t want to come back here and I don’t want to leave my shit here.”

“That’s fine, that’s fine. We have more than enough time. I’ll pull the bag you already have packed down to my car, right?”

Tommy nodded, and tossed him a backpack that looked fit for a hike. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure. I’ll be right back up.”

Chapter Text

“Caroline” smelled like nicotine and BO. There was no other way to describe her, and there was not a single thing in the world Tommy could say that would make her sound flattering to someone from the outside world. To him, though, that smell was incredibly safe.

She smelled just like Wilbur. Plus a few other things, of course, but she smelled like she was used. And to Tommy, that was amazing. New car smell had always been overwhelming to Tommy, always grating against his senses and making him physically sick. But Caroline smelled safe.

His head thumped against the window, and he winced. Wilbur gave a soft chuckle.

“Oh, shut up, Will,” Tommy said, throwing a lighthearted punch at the man’s shoulder. “It’s not my fault that your car’s shit.”

“Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say about Caroline?” Wilbur let his jaw drop in mock offence, and stroked the wheel of the car gently. “Don’t listen to my mean, disgusting brother, Caroline. He’s so mean and wrong, he only lies.”

“I’ll have you know that I haven’t lied once in my life,” Tommy retorted, albeit quietly. “Not once. This is slander.”

“Sure, sure,” Wilbur said, the sentence punctuated by another laugh. They fell into a somewhat-comfortable silence.

Tommy couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

What would happen after they got to Wilbur’s house? He’d have to go to hospital at some point, his fingers fucking hurt and he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to sleep with a concussion. Or maybe that was a myth, he wasn’t quite sure. It didn’t sound true, but he was scared to, anyway.

His friends would be confused. He’d get to them later, if Wilbur let him use his computer for Discord. Or, should he even bother trying? He doubted they’d even care, they didn’t any of the other times. None of them even answered when he’d called, not even when one of them was online. Hm.

Now he’d be near Tubbo. Tubbo almost always answered, even if sometimes he was a little delirious. This morning had been strange, but he hadn’t really blamed Tubbo or Techno, even though their responses had seemed a bit apathetic. Tubbo usually turned all funny when he was tired, and Techno was never active anyways. He probably just didn’t read anything before Tubbo brought up the “pissing the bed” story.

He imagined that unpacking his stuff would be a fucking nightmare. Will might let him stay in the extra room, or would he have to take the couch. He hoped that Wilbur wouldn’t insist on taking the couch himself, that’d be awful. He probably wouldn't allow Tommy to argue back, saying something like, "I'm the adult in this situation." Which, in Tommy's opinion, is bullshit. It’s Wilbur’s house, after all. Tommy’s just a visitor.

Seemingly out of nowhere, he felt his chest go cold.

Was he even a visitor? He’s only 16, and he didn’t let his parents know before he left. Oh, they'd probably call the police once they got home. That gave him and Wilbur the rest of Sunday and the majority of tomorrow. Thinking about it, though... he now has no proof that Wilbur wasn’t the one who gave him these injuries.

“Wilbur, you’ll be a fucking criminal,” Tommy blurted, eyes widening. “Oh my God. Turn around.”

“Tommy, what are you on about? I can’t turn around, your parents will...”

“You’ll go to prison, you’ll lose everything for this. Please turn around.” Tommy gripped his own wrist tightly. “Will, please fucking listen to me.”

“No.” Wilbur’s answer was short, but not angry. “Tommy, I’m taking you home and I’m not letting you go back there. I researched the laws, and I have a dashcam with a microphone in my car. They can’t prove shit with what I have.”

Tommy searched Wilbur’s face for even a hint of remorse, and he found none. He set his jaw.

“I don’t want to go with you.” His voice was less steady than he wanted it to be, and something about the glance Wilbur sent him told him he wasn’t convincing. “I swear to God, Wilbur, I’ll throw myself out of the car if you don’t listen. Please.”

“No, Tommy!” Wilbur was yelling now, swerving the car when he threw his arm over the buckle of Tommy’s belt. Something inside him churned and cried, and he began clawing at Wilbur’s arm. “I’m not leaving you for dead with your parents!”

“Shut up,” Tommy yelled back. His chest burned and froze, burned and froze, burned and froze. Raising his voice seemed to help. “Literally shut the fuck up! Turn around, you ass, I’m trying to help you!”

“Please just listen to me, Tommy,” Wilbur said, trying to keep his focus on the road and keep Tommy in the car at the same time. Somewhere embedded below the seething anger, Tommy felt a smidge of pity for him. “Please. If you get out of this car now, you’re dead. I’ll stop somewhere, okay? And then we can talk. We can’t fight like this when I’m going over a hundred. Please just wait.”

Tommy’s hands paused. He opened his mouth, closed it, ground his teeth. Wilbur looked frantic, glancing between where Tommy’s hands connected with his arm and the road, juggling responsibilities with the expertise of a guy who woke up at 4am to talk to his 16-year-old friend about his trauma.

The haze suddenly lifted, the horrible dichotomy between the bite of anxiety and the blaze of anger being replaced with the rotting of disgust and guilt. The stabbing pain in his hand and head returned, the mask of adrenaline lifted.

He stared at Wilbur’s arm, which was now irritated and red, a few spots of blood beginning to appear. He removed his hands immediately, gripping his hair with his right hand.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, Toms.”

“It’s not, I don’t know why I did that,” Tommy said, pulling at the dirty mop on his head. “Can we stop soon please? I need to breathe, I won’t run. I won’t run. I'm so sorry.”

“Of course.”