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Sans watched the news with resignation. The violence wasn't getting better, and this latest conflict was just the latest in the long slew of hate crimes and scuffles since monsters had reached the surface. With how volatile a lot of monsters could be, and how resistant many humans were to change, he wasn't sure it ever would improve. Or at least not fast enough for you. He'd seen how it could end with other interspecies couples, more often than not with the monster dusted though sometimes it was the human ending up in the hospital. Or very occasionally dead. He figured the ones who were able to stick it out were the ones who kept their relationships a secret, he was glad he'd insisted on that. Of course it was hard to keep it from his brother, or their close friends who all eventually knew by now. Or the kid with their powers who knew too damn much. But nobody outside their close circle of a handful of monsters and even fewer humans.
The news went on about the latest attack, how many injured and dead so far, and Sans pulled out his phone and sighed, bones shifting on the couch to lean heavier against the armrest. He stared at it, thinking. He should call it off, protect you from the consequences of getting any closer than you already had. He loved you too damn much to see you hurt. The thought of you on that news program, of you gasping for breath, lifeblood flowing from your veins, light leaving your eyes….
His soul stuttered.
He had to do it. Had to call you and tell you it was over. Had to save you.
He picked up the phone and dialed.
"hey, sweetheart. it's uhh… not workin' out. ya should-" He tried not to choke on the words, tried to force them out. He had to do this. For your future. "ya shouldn't come 'round anymore. sorry, fer wastin' yer time." He probably didn't sound very convincing.
He hung up without waiting for a response, letting the phone fall from his hands and land on the floor with a thud. He didn't pick it up, didn't look at it, just let his head fall into his hands with a frustrated grunt.
At least this way, you would be safe.
He was still sitting there when Papyrus got home.
I am alone, so don't speak
I find war, and I find peace
I find no heat, no love in me
You stared at the phone after Sans hung up with a mixture of indignation and despair. You had been dating for years, had fallen for him long ago, what made him decide this NOW? Now when he was everything you wanted, your other half, when every future you considered had him beside you. He had touched your soul, heck, you had touched HIS soul, you knew with absolute certainty how he felt about you. So why, after all this time….
A thought occurred to you, reminded you of something you'd seen on social media earlier and you scrambled to find it, to confirm. You scrolled through your feed, past inane pictures of food or vacations and political posts until-- there it was. A news article from that morning with a picture from a photographer who happened to be at the event to catch everything as it happened.
The picture made your blood run cold.
The dust…..was everywhere.
It was supposed to be a joyous event, monsters and humans coming together and celebrating each other, a young love blooming across species and instead some terrorist had decided he wouldn't accept that outcome.
That dust could have been Sans. That wedding could have been yours, if you'd been braver, if you'd asked him like you'd been thinking about doing for at least the last six months.
You began to understand what he was thinking, and you think that maybe he was right. Maybe it was better this way. Without you by his side...he would be less of a target. His low HP made him even more vulnerable than other monsters, even with the boost his LV gave him.
Your heart ached at the thought of living without him, but if it meant that he would live? You could manage. You would have to manage.
You were determined.
And I am low and unwell
This is love, this is hell
This sweet plague that follows me
The first week was relatively easy. Sans had gone that long without seeing you before sometimes, when you would go out of town and he didn't go with you. The second week was harder, and by the third…
He was slowing down.
Getting out of bed became a chore, eating felt like too much effort, even mustard lost its appeal. He missed you. His soul ached with it.
Even Papyrus, who had softened immensely with his close friendship with Frisk, was becoming fed up with him. When he had threatened to toss Sans out the door himself if he didn't get out of bed Sans only replied with a quiet "ok boss" and still didn't move.
Papyrus slammed the door with a screech of frustration and stalked out of the house to go train with Undyne. At least he could be productive.
And my body's weak
Feel my heart giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
This was the hardest month you had ever experienced in your life. Each day brought a new trial. Difficult days at work became unbearable, you cried easily and often, you stopped getting together with your friends or replying to their messages, everything took more and more effort. You were exhausted and no amount of sleep was making you feel better.
You kept reaching for your phone to text Sans, so he could make you laugh like he always does, and then you remember. In the middle of the fourth week since you'd seen him, your determination finally cracked.
You were on your way home from work, surprised you hadn't been let go yet with how lethargic you'd been, and it was drizzling. You had an umbrella, somewhere, but finding and holding it was just too much effort. Everything was too much effort. You stopped at a park on your way home from work and sat on a bench, not caring at all about how wet it was. You couldn't summon the motivation to get back up. You stayed there as the drizzle turned into a downpour and the downpour to a torrent. You sat as lightning lit the sky and thunder rumbled loudly but you didn't even look up to watch the storm as you usually would have. You stayed there until the early hours of the next morning when an officer on patrol ushered you out of the park and you finally stumbled home, soaked through.
The next day you woke with a slight fever and a scratchy throat, but feeding yourself and taking medicine was too much so you let it be.
You let it be until you felt as ill physically as you did emotionally. As your breathing got difficult and you struggled to form coherent thoughts.
Until a week later, when you collapsed partway through your shift.
And my body's weak
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
Papyrus was worried. He wasn't the best at being kind and showing affection, but he loved the flawed lazy creature that was his brother. Sans had raised him, had done his best to protect him from the harshness and cruelty of their world until Papyrus was big and strong enough to be the protector when Sans had just stepped aside and let him. And maybe he had gotten carried away, gotten frustrated at his brother's tendency to shirk his duties and started treating him more like a subordinate than an older brother. He knew better now, was doing better, he had found someone to care about and protect again when the small human child Frisk had won his friendship through sheer stubbornness and determination. And kindness, so much kindness overflowing for all of the monsters, gently guiding them all to a softer existence despite all the hardship his species had put them through. Everything was so much better now than it had been underground, even with the violence and unrest that persisted it wasn't one tenth the danger they'd been in on a daily basis back then.
So yes, Papyrus loved his brother despite everything. Had been getting better at showing it, tolerating you had been difficult at first but now he thought of you as a friend. Maybe a sibling, it had seemed like things were going that way before this... debacle. He didn't know anything other than what Sans had grunted at him that first day he'd come home to a brother slouched on the couch with his head in his hands. It frustrated him that the only information he had was that Sans broke it off with you, telling you not to come by anymore. Said it was for your own good and that was that. And now...
Sans spent all his time sleeping. Hadn't gotten out of bed in over a week, barely responded when shaken, and Papyrus was at his wits end. He was about to call Undyne to watch his brother and go find you when he got the call.
Something my soul needs
"Hello, is this Papyrus? This is the hospital, we have a patient here whose file has you listed as an emergency contact and we can't get a hold of anyone else. Are you able to come down? We need some information and there is some paperwork…"
And I see a war on the screen,
And it is is cruel and unclean
But I still worry more about you
You fell into memories…
The first time you saw his face
You were excited. All your life you'd believed in supernatural things and now they were here, sharing your town. Monsters had come out of the mountain and every day you saw a new face somewhere. You tried to smile at all of them, had even talked to a few who approached after your friendly sidewalk greeting. Some of them just scowled and kept waking, but you tried not to let it bother you. It hadn't been very long and humans and monsters were still getting used to each other, neither species really wanted to make a move that would set the other off, but you didn't have a lot of faith in the kindness of humans. You'd read the official statements from the monster monarchy about how they ended up underground and it just made you more frustrated with humanity than you'd already been.
One of the monsters you'd had a conversation with told you about a monster run place from underground that was opening topside and you had jumped at the chance to visit so here you were.
Grillby's. It looked so warm and inviting from the outside. You walked in the door a little apprehensive, after all this was their space and a lot of humans were assholes, but you were hopeful that it wouldn't be an issue. You started to look around, but some instinct drew your eyes to a figure sitting at the bar who spun his stool to look at you.
A skeleton.
As you took in his appearance, red eyes and sharp teeth slowly expanding into a grin that showed off one of gold, you felt a warm sensation in your chest. Unconsciously you pressed your hand over it, rubbing slightly like that would make it go away. The skeleton patted the stool next to him and you sat, attempting to shake yourself out of the minor daze you appeared to have fallen into.
"so, what brings a sweet little thing like you to grillby's?"
The first time you held his hand
You'd known Sans for almost a month and he was a wonderful friend, always cheering you up when you were down, but you had a pervasive crush and wanted something more.
He'd shown up to walk you home, something he'd taken to doing a lot lately, and you watched him. His hands were shoved into his pockets and half his face was hidden by the fur on his jacket hood, but you could see his eye sockets. Your gaze slid back to what you could see of his hand, radius and ulna with just a hint of carpals, and you felt your face flush at the thought of holding them. Of what it would feel like to have your fleshy fingers interlaced with his bones.
"whatcha thinkin' about so hard over there?" His voice startled you out of your thoughts and your eyes darted to his face, which was turned to you, red eye light intent on the slight colour in your cheeks.
"Nothing!" You said, a little too quickly as you turned to keep walking "sorry."
"nothin' to apologize for sweetheart" the endearment sent a flush to your cheeks, but not as much as when, a few steps later, his phalanges threaded through your fingers and you looked over to see a slight touch of red spread across his maxilla.
You grinned, gave his hand a slight squeeze and kept walking, hand in hand.
Maybe the desire you felt for something more was mutual.
Your first kiss
You sat with Sans on a blanket in a field staring up at the night sky filled with stars. Away from the city and the light pollution it was amazing how many of them you could see, and the two of you spent a long time pointing out constellations to each other and basking in each other's company. Every so often you'd glance over to his soft smile, the one he only really seemed to wear around you, and wonder what it would feel like to press your lips against it. To be held in his arms like something precious. You'd been thinking about it a lot lately, and sometimes you thought you'd seen him looking at your lips too. Maybe...he was just waiting for your consent? Maybe you needed to make the first move.
"Hey Sans?" You questioned, still looking up at the sky as you tried to muster your bravery.
"yeah sweetheart?" He turned his eyelights to focus on your face and you felt a blush rise in your cheeks at what you were about to ask.
"I'd very much like to kiss you right now."
"yeah?" His cheekbones dusted red in an answering blush to yours.
You nodded, then turned to look at him directly, asking shyly "That okay?"
He grinned, "sure thing. c'mere." He spread his legs and patted the space between them. You crawled over to sit in the spot he'd indicated, his arm wrapped around your back as you leaned in. You pressed your lips first to his cheekbone, then to his teeth. His hand came up to cup the side of your face as you kissed, mouths opening, tongues touching, exploring, tender. It was amazing how someone so crass most of the time could be so sweet with you.
Eventually you stopped and nuzzled into his cervical vertebrae, resting on his clavicle as he rested his chin on the top of your head and ran his phalanges through your hair. "been wantin' to do that fer a while."
"Me too." you sighed happily and gently ran your fingers along the outline of his ribs through his shirt.
"yer so damn cute," he pressed his teeth to the top of your head and wrapped his arms around you tightly. "how'd an asshole like me get lucky 'nough to meet someone like you"
You giggled and pressed a kiss to his vertebrae and he shuddered. "I feel like I'm the lucky one."
Later, when you watched a meteor shoot across the sky, you made a wish that you'd be able to stay with him just like this. Bodies entwined, souls in sync, staring at the night sky in loving harmony. You nuzzled your forehead into his clavicle and sighed happily as he held you close.
When he protected you
To this day you had no idea how Sans knew you'd needed help. You'd encountered a group of drunk assholes on your way home from work who apparently thought you looked like an easy target or something because they couldn't take a hint. You didn't mean to let them surround you, they were so subtle about it and you were just trying to leave with minimal fuss, but a spark of unease ignited inside you. You tried to duck between two of them to make a run for it and they made a grab for you. It felt like one second a hand closed over your upper arm and the next Sans was standing between you asking if they were going to let him have a good time in a low growl that did very interesting things to your insides. You were a little high on adrenaline and panic, the whole situation was mostly a blur after that. The greatest part of your memory consisted of Sans checking you over after the assholes had fled, left eye glowing a bright furious red. He said something about how you'd called him, but you didn't remember going for your phone at all.
He made sure he was always free to walk you home after that.
When he took care of you
You weren't sure how you got the flu despite getting the flu shot that year but there you were, utterly miserable and missing your sekelebuddy. Something about feeling weak and vulnerable made you want to have him around even more than usual.
You: Hey Sans
Won't be able to do anything for a while
Sorry to bail on you, I got the flu
I feel like death *vomiting emoji*
Sans: you ok?
can i hlp?
You: I should be fine
Just gonna try and make some soup
I don't want to get you sick
Sans: lemme come take care of u
can't get your human germs lol
You: You sure?
I won't be any fun
But ok, if you want
Sans: brt
He shortcut into your bedroom, phone still in hand and a concerned look on his face. "what'cha need sweetheart? can i bring ya anythin?"
"Can you bring me sleep?" You groaned, burying your face in the pillow.
He chuckled "how about i start'cha with some water."
Sans stayed the whole time you were sick. He sat with you while you threw up your guts, kept you hydrated, took a log of your temperature, he even managed to somehow talk his brother into making you soup. You're convinced that soup in particular was instrumental in how fast you recovered.
You don't remember a lot of that time, but you do remember the feeling of cool bones on your face, running through your hair, and his deep voice as he read to you. And the feeling of being cared about, cared for. Of being precious to someone.
The many times he showed his affection, because he rarely said the words
Sans was always doing small things for you. Fixing something at your place that was on the fritz, gifting you with something you'd talked about wanting but knew you couldn't afford, taking the time to walk you home so you could spend that bit of extra time together.
A few months after you started dating, he gifted you with a necklace. A 'collar'. You'd discussed the possibility, talked about what it meant for monsters and you'd told him you were receptive, but you didn't think it would be so...magical. It was beautiful and you adored it. A white shield with a glittering red S. Infused with his magic, so you'd feel him with you even when you were apart. So other monsters would know you were protected. You had no idea how much he'd spent on it but it looked like it was surely expensive, just another mark of how much he valued you.
You might have cried. And if he kissed away your tears, well, who would know but the two of you anyway.
The way you felt waking up in his arms and never wanting to leave them
You'd spent the night at his place. You'd been doing that a lot lately, especially after he'd worked up the energy to actually clean his room from the disaster zone it had been when you met him to a more….organized chaos. You appreciated the effort. You awoke slowly and easily, comfortable both in his bed and in his life. Your hands were wrapped around his ribs and he had one humerus under your neck, radius and ulna stretched across your back and phalanges clutching your shoulder, while the other hand rested gently on your hip.
He was still sleeping, peacefully for once, and the way he held you close even in sleep made you feel precious. He was good at that, making you feel valued. There had been so little in his life that was purely good and he made sure you always knew you were one of those things. You felt so lucky to be loved by him, that this man who could be so spiteful and jaded had seen in you something to adore and protect. You never wanted to give that feeling up.
You sighed happily and gave his skull a sleepy nuzzle followed by a kiss and then snuggled closer into him, your leg comfortably between his femurs as you slipped back into a doze.
His anger at the violence and injustice and hate. How you wanted to make it go away, make him happy
You were cuddled on the couch, side pressed into his ribs and head pillowed on his clavicle, his phalanges running through your hair while he read a book and you scrolled through social media on your phone. You were practically purring with contentment and barely paying attention to your phone when an article caught your eye. One of your friends had shared the link and you opened it to read the whole story.
You swore, and showed it to Sans when he gave a questioning grunt. You felt the tension growing in his bones and he handed you back your phone so he wouldn't crush it as his hands curled into fists.
The article had been about an interspecies couple out on a first date who was refused service at every establishment they tried to go to, and had food thrown at them by patrons at one of them.
At least nobody was dead this time.
You set your phone down on the couch beside you and ran your hand down his spine, the soft fabric of his shirt between you."You alright?"
"'m fine sweetheart. frustrated. that coulda been us. don' want that for ya, ya deserve better." He growled
"So do you," you argued, "you all do. I know you think a lot of monsters are pretty dangerous but..." You fingered the necklace he'd given you. "I think humans are unquestionably worse."
He sighed and leaned back into you. You caressed his skull, pressing a kiss to it as you did so. "Love you."
"me too sweetheart," he took your hand in his and pressed it to his mouth. "me too"
And I am rude and unkind
Have no thought, and have no time
Have no eyes, so no point of view
Sans fell into memories…
The first time he heard your laugh
It was some stupid knock knock joke. He couldn't even remember which one because he was so dazed. You'd caught his eye as soon as you walked in and he could swear he could feel your soul calling out to him, which made no sense so he'd dismissed it immediately, but then you came right up to him and he had to start a conversation. After a few lines back and forth and a little lapse he fell back on his usual knock knock and you... just… lost it. You even snorted. You laughed like it was the funniest thing you'd heard in a week at least.
He was a goner from the moment he felt that joy spreading within him for the first time in forever.
The first time he walked you home
Him running into you on your way home from work was a complete accident. A fortunate one, in his opinion, as he hadn't seen you since you'd wandered into Grillby's despite a daily barrage of texting.
"hey sweet thing," he said as he approached you "fancy seein' you here"
You startled and whirled around before softening immediately upon recognizing him. "Sans!" You smiled that dazzling grin at him and he swore he felt his soul flutter. "What are you up to today? Another job?"
"yeh, just finished."
"Me too," you gestured towards the building you worked in. "I was just on my way home, want to walk with me?"
"sure. got any plans for tonight?"
It was the first of many times he walked with you, talking about anything and everything, telling jokes and just plain enjoying your company.
His first glimpse of your soul
Sans knew he wanted to collar you pretty early on in your relationship, but he waited a while to bring it up. He wasn't sure if you'd be up for it since it was a little different than how humans usually handled that sort of thing. He'd been pleased when he talked to you about it and gave the okay and he started working on it immediately. He wanted something that didn't stand out as much as his own, the purpose was to protect you not make you a target for attention and ridicule, and monsters would know what it meant from the magic he'd been flooding it with through every step of the process. It was a simple chain with a shield pendant and the first letter of his name. He thought it suited you.
He presented it to you on one of your stargazing dates. It was just the two of you and the stars when he pulled out the box. "hey sweetheart, i know we talked about this a bit ago, but i want to make sure yer still in. i wanna put this collar on ya, i want everyone to know that yer mine, that yer protected."
"I'm still in Sans," you gave him that sweet little smile he adored and put your hand on his where it held the box, "Can I see it?"
He wasn't sure what it was about you that made him so soft, but he was a little shy as he opened the box, apprehensive, he hoped you'd like it but wasn't sure. He wanted you to like it, like what it meant to display his colour around your neck. He watched your eyes widen as you took it in.
"it's cuz i'm yer shield, yer defender. an i'll always be there to protect ya."
"Can you-" your voice cracked with emotion and you swallowed, continuing "can you put it on for me? Please?"
He took a sharp intake of breath--you really wanted this, wanted him. "sure sweetheart, c'mere." You turned your back and he looped the necklace around your neck, fastening it with care. The moment the clasp was secure and he let it go to rest against your neck, for just a moment your soul flared so brightly he could see it without meaning to. He saw straight down to your core, your everything, and he was mesmerized.
Then the flare was gone, quickly as it had come, and he saw the tears on your cheeks. He might have panicked a little.
"is it too much? i can-"
"No!" You cut him off. "No, it's perfect. It feels like…" you seemed to struggle with finding the right words and he ran a comforting hand down your back. "Like when you hold me," you continued "like I'm safe and…" your eyes flickered over to meet his and your lips curved on a shy smile "home."
Stars, if he wasn't completely gone for you already he sure was now.
He gently wiped your tears away and pressed his teeth to your cheeks. "glad i make ya feel that way sweetheart."
When you teased him
He should have been suspicious when he found you in the kitchen, sitting in front of the open fridge and snickering. He got distracted though, when you peeked around the door and your face lit up when you saw him.
"Sans!" You'd exclaimed as you rushed into his arms, "you're home early, I brought you something!" Was it just him or was your grin more mischievous than it usually was… nah, you were just being sweet.
"oh? what'cha bring me?"
You pulled a container of mustard from behind your back and plopped it in his hands. "I relish you!" You exclaimed as you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and scampered off. He really should have been suspicious, but for some reason he was surprised when what came out of the bottle when he drank it wasn't mustard.
It was relish.
He sputtered and laughed and couldn't even be angry because you were so stars damned cute.
When you held him through a bad day
Even on the surface Sans got nightmares. Not as often or as bad as he used to but he still occasionally woke up mid flashback. Magic haywire, breathing fast and shallow, but never screaming. Screaming meant drawing attention to yourself and underground that could have been deadly.
He started awake from one such nightmare, left eye flaring red, a bone attack poised to summon when he reached out and touched… you. You'd slept over the night before, it had gotten so late watching movies so you'd stayed with him instead of going home.
You stirred and turned over, eyes opening to look up at him and it was like you didn't see a dangerous monster or a killer or any of the awful things he'd had to be to protect himself and his brother from their kill or be killed world. You only saw your partner, panting and distressed, and without a hint of hesitance you wrapped your arms around his ribs and held him.
It felt like it must have been hours before his panic subsided, leaving him drained and depressed, but you never cared. Never thought less of him, never saw him as worthless or a burden no matter how he felt about himself in those moments. You just pressed kisses to his forehead and asked if he needed anything, slowly helping him work the tension back out of his bones, held his hand and sat with him as long as he needed.
It didn't matter how many times a similar scene replayed itself, how many nightmares he had or how weak he felt, you always thought he was strong.
How you made an effort to befriend his prickly brother despite Papyrus' initial vitriol
The first time you met his brother you were cuddled up in his favourite spot for you, right on his lap. It was early in your relationship, just the first few weeks, he'd only had you over a handful of times and always while Papyrus was out. It wasn't that he was afraid of you interacting, but he knew his brother could be loud and judgemental and he wasn't sure how you'd react to that. Well, whatever plan he might have concocted was blown out the door when the Boss himself barged through it, home earlier than Sans expected, and saw you. The ensuing conversation was a bit messy. He didn't follow all of it; he was too busy watching your face, ready to step in should you need him to, the gleam in your eye made it seem like you were having fun though so he let it be.
When Papyrus finally stormed off you looked over to him exhilarated and exclaimed "Sans, I'm gonna make friends with your brother!
"you do that, sweetheart." He chuckled and tugged you back against his side.
"He's so cool." You seemed a little starstruck. Sans was glad that you still wanted to be around his little brother after such an explosive introduction. As difficult as he could be, he was still his brother.
You started with little things: leaving notes in places for Papyrus to find, complimenting his lasagna, doing little chores around the house, you were tenacious, devious, and playful.
Sans knew you'd succeeded when he caught a fond smirk on his brother's face one night when he was telling a story about something you'd done.
How your bare skin felt under his phalanges
Sans laid with you on your bed, bare bones against soft flesh, not a stitch of clothing on either of you as you tried to escape the sweltering summer heat. You'd finally managed to lay down after a miserable few hours of calls to maintenance and adjusting fans to create a somewhat adequate airflow, and Sans was just enjoying the freedom of access you'd allowed him. To be able to run the tips of his phalanges from your shoulder blade to your hip and just appreciate your feel. He spread his hand across your belly and drew patterns down your thigh just taking the calm moment to really take in how gorgeous you were.
And besides.
He really liked how you looked in nothing but his collar.
How it felt when you let him touch your sweet soul…
Sans had seen a glimpse when he put your collar on, but right there in that moment with the whole of you cupped in his phalanges he truly understood what a gift he'd been given. He could feel your love and pride and the vast amount of affection you held for him. It overwhelmed his senses and why had he been afraid of this again? Why had he worried about getting close to you, letting you in, stars you loved him . He could feel the magic pooling at the corners of his eye sockets, he felt the instinct to stuff it down but he let it roll away and buried his face in the crook of your neck as he let the tears come. What did it matter if he looked weak in front of you, you didn't care. You were his, completely, your soul told him so.
Maybe someday he'd tell you how much he was yours, too.
And my body's weak,
I feel my heart giving up on me,
I'm worried it might just be
Papyrus stalked into the hospital, following the directions given to him by the receptionist on the phone towards the ward you were in. He was grateful you had the foresight to put himself and Sans as emergency contacts, and already had paperwork in place for him to be able to make medical decisions on your behalf, as this whole affair would be much more complicated otherwise. He approached the desk the person on the phone had described.
"I AM PAPYRUS, I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL ABOUT A FRIEND OF MINE WHO IS A PATIENT HERE. THE CALLER MENTIONED A NEED TO FILL OUT PAPERWORK?" He provided your name and waited. He had been working on his volume around humans, though his tone was still clipped and, tall as he was, he cut a very intimidating figure.
"Ye-yes sir. Let me just uhh… get the nurse in charge of them for you. Sir." The poor kid practically tripped over himself to go find her, apparently forgetting that he had access to page the nurse right at the desk. Papyrus could have snorted in amusement at that if not for the two lives he cared about currently hanging by threads, ready to snap.
The kid hustled back around the corner with a slightly harried older woman in tow. To her credit she didn't even bat an eye when she looked at him. "Papyrus right? Come with me, I'll show you to your friend and we'll go over the paperwork." Wordlessly he followed as she led him down the hall to a room that was silent except for the beeping and whirring of machines. The nurse said something about returning shortly with forms but he wasn't paying attention, he was too distracted by you. You looked as awful as Sans did. Worse, actually, by virtue of the fact that you had flesh that showed off the sheer amount of weight you'd lost since he'd last seen you. The oxygen mask over your face obscured your features and the beeps of the heart rate monitor were slow...sluggish even. Like your heart didn't want to keep going. It was much worse than he'd anticipated, his growing suspicion that his brother's sudden onset of lethargy was more than just post break-up depression now felt nearly confirmed. He would have to call Alphys and discuss the possibility.
The nurse returned with the forms, consent to treat and privacy practices, nothing he was unfamiliar with but he still read each one before signing. It was his responsibility to take care of both you and his brother right now.
"WHAT IS THE CURRENT PROGNOSIS?" He asked as he read through the first form.
"We suspected pneumonia initially, we're treating for that first but not all of their symptoms line up," she sighed. He wondered how long she'd been on shift and how many she still had left. "I'll be honest, I'm grateful you were the emergency contact. Knowing they have connections to monsters means I can put in for the maginurse to come do an evaluation to see if there's anything she can do. They don't usually let us bug her for anything that's only dealing with humans, she's too busy running around trying to fix the whole damn world on her own." Papyrus raised a brow and she chuckled "My grandson married a monster. Sweetest little thing I ever met, not sure how she survived down there but I'm glad she did, lights his whole world up. I know you all get a lot of trouble from a lot of people but you'll get none from this old girl."
Papyrus nodded in your direction as he gathered the papers back up into a neat stack. "THEY ARE MY BROTHER'S PARTNER. I HAVE AN AVENUE TO EXPLORE THAT MAY HELP FIX THIS BUT THEY ARE SAFEST HERE FOR NOW. I WILL LEAVE THEM IN YOUR CARE, PLEASE CALL IMMEDIATELY IF ANYTHING CHANGES."
My body's weak,
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
Papyrus drove straight from the hospital to the house Alphys and Undyne shared, hoping to find them both at home and pacing his way through his explanation when he did. Undyne's eyes widened and Alphys scrambled for her research book shelves, flipping through volume after volume before producing the one she'd been looking for, one which might hopefully shed some light on the situation.
Soulmates, Soul Ties, and Other Soul to Soul Connections.
He discussed his plan with the two women, called the hospital to tell them to set up another bed in your room, and then went to collect Sans.
When Papyrus entered his brother's room, his breathing was shallow and slow. He didn't stir when Papyrus sat on his bed, didn't wake as he lifted the smaller skeleton into his arms, didn't shift at all as he was buckled into the back seat of his brother's truck.
If this didn't work, Papyrus wasn't sure how much time Sans had left.
Something my soul needs
Soul bonding required two things to initiate: compatibility and intent. The other factor in play was time. If two monster souls were compatible, they then had to want it. They had to know without a doubt that they wanted forever with each other, they had to know it in the deepest parts of themselves every single day until the bond took, which rarely took less than a year and in some cases upwards of a decade.
There was a reason it was largely forgotten knowledge. Who could put that kind of trust in anyone else, commit that kind of time to something as frivolous as a relationship when either one of you could get dusted before lunch on any given day. It was a vulnerability that monsters just couldn't afford underground. The only reason Papyrus knew about it at all was because Undyne and Alphys had talked about trying, and Alphys only knew because she was obsessed with research. The general population probably thought soulmates were just as mythical as humans believed they were.
But the explanation, the symptoms, the withdrawal. It all fit.
Something my soul needs
It was a certainty that you were compatible, any monster who spent longer than a few minutes around the two of you together could tell that. You played off each other perfectly and there were times the pair of you together gave off the feel of one soul instead of two.
The uncertainty came from the intent. Alphys had believed you had to specifically carry the intent to bond; but with you, human and not having a clue that was even possible, and Sans, who clearly hadn't intended to bond or he never would have initiated this misguided attempt at breaking up with you, that intent wasn't present. What was present was that you spent time together almost every day. That you continued to choose Sans when a human partner might have been less hassle. That you so clearly wanted to stay together that even Sans' stubborn, jaded, protective asshole of a brother could tell that you were completely gone for each other. You and Sans woke up every day of the time you were together wanting each other in your lives, wanting that to last.
Was that kind of intent enough?
Papyrus hoped so, because if this wasn't the problem he had no more ideas on how to fix it. On how to save his brother.
Something my soul needs
When he carried Sans into your hospital room, the moment they came in the door he took a deep breath as if straining for your smell and shifted slightly. It was the most he'd moved in days. Your heart rate began to approach something much more normal for a human of your age and activity level, and his hand twitched in your direction as Papyrus laid him down on the bed next to yours. He took his brother's hand and laid it on top of your outstretched one and you wrapped your fingers around that skeletal hand like it was a lifeline.
The only thing left to do was wait and hope.
And I am more than this frame,
I feel hurt and I feel shame
I just wish you would feel the same
It was a few days before you woke, you felt like you'd been hit by a truck and everything hurt but the fog of absolute despair and emptiness that had characterized the last few months was absent. You opened your eyes to find yourself in a hospital room, but you didn't take in many details because one of the first things you noticed was Papyrus in a chair by the foot of your bed. He was on his phone, a very intent expression on his face, probably playing one of the strategy games he enjoyed. You must have made some sort of noise when you saw him because he looked up at you, glanced at the bed next to yours and then back, and his facial expression softened with...relief? You weren't sure you'd ever seen relief on his face before.
"WELCOME BACK HUMAN SIBLING. WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU."
You felt the burning tightness of tears collecting in your eyes as you reached for him. He wasn't a tactile monster and you'd never been physically close, but after the strain of the last month he was someone you cared about, your closest connection to Sans, and you'd been pushing everyone away with your apathy. He stood, walking over to stand by the side of your bed where you could reach him and you pressed your forehead into his ribs. The position was made slightly awkward by the oxygen mask on your face but you didn't care. You basked in the comfort of the familiar feeling of bones against your skin.
Papyrus sighed and stiffly patted the back of your head. "SOME EXPLANATION MAY BE NECESSARY, BUT I MUST ASK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. SANS NEEDS YOU." He pulled back and directed your attention to the bed next to yours, which until then you'd completely overlooked. Once you were made aware of it though you immediately recognized the familiar shape of a sleeping Sans beneath the blanket Papyrus must have brought from their house, his breathing the slow and steady rhythm of deep sleep. "HE WON'T WAKE." You looked back at him with concern. "HE HAS BEEN LIKE THIS SLIGHTLY LONGER THAN YOU I BELIEVE. YOUR PROXIMITY HAS GREATLY IMPROVED HIS STATE, NOW THAT YOU ARE AWAKE YOUR TOUCH SHOULD HELP MORE."
You knew how much it cost him to admit to that kind of weakness for his brother, someone under his protection. In the world they had lived in before coming to the surface such a vulnerability could easily be taken advantage of, the scars both skeletons bore was a permanent testament to that fact. Previously you thought Papyrus might have held some slight level of grudging respect for you, if only because you managed to stick around for so long, and even that you felt had been hard won. From that statement, and him calling you his sibling, you knew his trust in you was absolute. It filled an ache in you that had been present ever since Sans' phone call. You reached for him, but all the tubes and machines you were attached to stopped you from doing anything more than brushing your fingers over the blanket he was under. You looked over to Papyrus.
"Help?" You rasped out, your voice scratchy from disuse and faint from the pain in your throat. It was probably a testament to how sharp his ears were that he even understood you at all with the mask in the way. Expecting him to help you change beds, you were a little surprised when he picked up his brother instead. Perhaps you shouldn't have been, you were the one hooked up to machines after all and that made Sans easier to relocate than you, you'd just still expected him to cater to his brother over anyone else. You shuffled yourself over as best you could, making as much space on the small hospital bed as you were able, and Papyrus gently eased Sans into the space next to you.
You immediately curled around each other. For being unconscious it was impressive how easily his arms found his way around your body and squeezed you so tightly. It felt like coming home, and you squeezed him just as tight as you tucked his skull under your chin. You weren't prepared for the swell of emotions that him being in your arms again after so long brought and you started crying. Great heaving ugly sobs brought on by how much you'd missed him, how much being separated had hurt, how right it felt to have him in your arms again. You clutched at him with all your strength, knowing that you never wanted to let him go again.
And I am more than these bones
I feel love, I feel alone
I just wish you would come home
The first thing Sans became conscious of was the feel of your fingertips stroking his skull. It felt so soothing and familiar, comforting. He vaguely registered that his brother was there as well, that you were talking to each other, but he couldn't focus on what either of you were saying. Papyrus was strong, safe, dedicated. He would be able to protect you from any potential threats while Sans got a bit more rest. When had he gotten so soft? He should be the one protecting you, he was just so... exhausted. He let out a long sigh and fell back into sleep.
The next time he approached consciousness, you were still holding him, but you seemed more distressed. He could hear your muttered phases: "Come back to me," "I love you," "Don't leave me again, please," and "please, please, please" repeated over and over again like a mantra. He felt your shuddering breaths from where his skull lay against your chest as you cried, he tried to squeeze your waist where his hand curled against your skin, but the soft rhythmic thudding of your heartbeat pulled him back into sleep.
When he finally opened his sockets, the room was silent except for the beeping of the machines you were attached to. Your expression was peaceful in sleep, your breathing steady. With your face turned towards him he could see the tear tracks left on your face and he reached up to rub them away. The movement caught Papyrus' notice, but he didn't say anything to avoid the chance of waking you up for which Sans was grateful. Of course his brother would not leave them alone and unguarded while they were vulnerable. He probably hadn't left or slept since whenever they got here.
Sans took a moment to take in your appearance and the ways it had changed since the last time he saw you. Your hair was longer, like you hadn't bothered to get it cut, and you'd lost a considerable amount of weight. If he looked half as bad as you did, his poor brother must have been beside himself. He touched his forehead to yours and breathed in your scent. Stars, how he'd missed you. He couldn't give you up again now that you were finally back in his arms, you were his world. He'd have to talk to Papyrus, figure something out. Some way to protect you.
As soon as he started to move, Papyrus was up and next to him, helping him adjust himself and you on the tiny bed, making sure the little tubes stayed in your nose so you got enough oxygen. It took some effort, which made him wonder again how long he'd been out if he'd lost this much strength, but eventually he got situated on his back with you sprawled across him. You wrapped your fingers around one of his ribs and nuzzled your face into his upper rib cage, your sleepy grumbles making him chuckle as he pressed his teeth to the top of your head. He accepted the book Papyrus handed him with an appreciative nod and settled in. The three of you had a lot that needed to be talked about, but it could wait until you woke up.
My body's weak
I feel my heart giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
Papyrus knew that the hospital room, though as private as he could make it using all the intimidation and misdirection at his disposal, was not at all the place for the kinds of secrets involved in the conversation that needed to happen for this foolishness to never repeat itself again. Sans had taken much longer than you had to regain consciousness, several days longer, and your health had improved significantly in that time. He had discussed with you the possibility of discharging yourself when Sans woke, stressing that it would be a when and not an if, and you had agreed that it would be best for all involved for you to finish recovering at home as soon as it was safe to do so.
Now that you were both sleeping peacefully, he set some of those plans in motion. Via text, he coordinated with Alphys and Undyne to execute the next stage. Alphys was setting up equipment to monitor your recovery at the brothers' house, under a stern warning from Papyrus that you were not to be a part of any experiments without your explicit consent and no it didn't matter how enticing said experiment was. Undyne would come and be his backup at the hospital. Since you were now his brother's greatest vulnerability you needed to be protected, especially weakened as you were, and it would be much easier for two guards to do that than one should anything unexpected happen while leaving the hospital.
He was in the middle of text message coordination when you stirred, drawing his attention. You nuzzled into Sans' sternum and sighed, which made Papyrus smirk. You were such a sweet thing; you adored his brother and did your best to take care of him, make him feel appreciated. You helped him to be everything he should have been that their world underground wouldn't let him be. You finally opened your eyes and looked at Sans, taking note of your changed position, him holding you rather than the other way around it had been, then looked over to Papyrus for confirmation.
"GOOD MORNING HUMAN SIBLING, ARE YOU READY TO GO HOME?"
Your grin reminded him of the sun that first day out of the underground.
My body's weak,
Feel my lungs giving up on me
I'm worried it might just be
The first thing you did out of the hospital was take a very long nap with Sans. It took a while to get you set up in his room, and between that and the trek out of and home from the hospital you were both exhausted. At least here, safe in their home, Papyrus didn't feel the need to hover as much and could finally get some sort of rest. You were pretty sure he hadn't slept the entire time Sans had been at the hospital with you. You thought it was sweet how protective he was of his brother, even when it didn't always outwardly seem like it.
Now though, you were set up on the bed leaning against Sans while Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys were all in chairs next to it. Papyrus closer to the head of the bed while Undyne and Alphys were next to each other near the foot. You had met Undyne a few times, and knew of Alphys although you'd never met, but you weren't close friends. Their presence with you both still so weak seemed to put Sans on edge but Papyrus had insisted. He said they were a reliable source of pertinent information and that was that, wouldn't hear any argument Sans tried to make. Even now he was trying to stubbornly protest, but Papyrus finally got fed up and cut him off.
"YOU'RE SOUL BONDED, SANS."
"what"
"What?" You and Sans echo each other
"YOU'RE SOULMATES"
"how?" Sans stares at his brother, dumbfounded.
"What does that even mean?" You look back and forth between Papyrus and the pair of monsters who appear to be struggling to decide between amusement and annoyance. Amusement seemed to win when Undyne started laughing.
"You losers really pulled this shit by accident didn't you." She barked, still chuckling. "Probably the first monster in fucking forever to successfully soulbond and it's a starsdamn accident." She shook her head and looked at Alphys with a fond smile.
"But what does that mean for us?" You repeated the question, holding tight to Sans' hand where his phalanges intertwined with your fingers.
"IT MEANS THIS FOOLISHNESS CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. ALPHYS IS HERE BECAUSE SHE IS THE BEST SOURCE OF KNOWLEDGE ON THIS TYPE OF BOND AND SHE CAN CONFIRM ITS EXISTENCE."
"This would be a lot easier if I could just-" Alphys began
"NO." Papyrus interrupted
"But-"
"NO TESTS, ALPHYS. NO EXPERIMENTS. YOU AGREED TO THIS ALREADY BEFORE I EVEN ALLOWED YOU INTO THIS ROOM TODAY." He said sternly.
"Fine." She sighed begrudgingly. "Since it's all I'm allowed," she glanced at Papyrus who narrowed his eye sockets at her and she quickly returned her focus to you and Sans. "I need to ask some background questions to get a clearer picture of the situation."
You looked at Sans, he'd been so uncharacteristically silent since his brother's earlier statement and you could feel the tension in his bones. Something really had him rattled and you didn't know enough about what was going on to figure out what it was. You still didn't have a lot of energy though, and wanted to get this discussion over before you ran out of steam, so you looked back at Alphys and nodded. She pulled a notebook and pen out of her phone and settled into her chair, clearly invested in the research subject she was presented with.
"Have either of you ever felt pulled towards the other?"
"Frequently" you answered before you even really consider the question. Then you actually start to think about it and you realized just how often it was and you're a little surprised you never thought about it before. "Just...little things like when he's having a bad day, or if I was running late and forgot to let him know there was this...tug?" You struggled to describe the feeling, a need in the very center of yourself, a burn or an ache or a longing that went so deep. "I always knew when he needed me." You finished with a small shrug, feeling like your words were inadequate.
"felt that tug myself a time or two. that time those punks tried to jump ya? got this feelin' like ya were in trouble, took a shortcut without even thinkin an' there ya were'' his voice lowered with remembered rage "never felt more like killin than in that moment, an i did my fair share o' that when it needed doin"
Alphys just nodded and took notes, but you were still thinking about Sans and everything he's risked for you. You leaned into him, nuzzling your nose along his mandible and whispered "Thanks for always taking care of me."
Alphys finished her notes and looked back up before he had a chance to do more than squeeze your hand where he held it in his.
She asked several more questions like if there had been contact between your souls (yes, an the details are none of yer business), how long you'd been together (dunno, two years maybe?) and what prompted the separation (a long silence followed by 'wedding massacre' in a quiet, mumbled voice)
Alphys diligently wrote notes for every answer, cross referencing the large volume she'd pulled out of her inventory, and you zone out of the conversation. You were still exhausted and recovering, you leaned your full weight on Sans and closed your eyes. He seemed to have the answers well in hand, and you trust him completely. The back and fourth of their voices eventually melded into nothingness as you fell asleep.
Something my soul needs
Sans was reeling. It shouldn't have been possible, and yet here he was with his soulmate fast asleep in his arms. His soulmate. His Soulmate. In hindsight it's been obvious, all the little things coalesce into this unbelievable truth. The fact that you both fell so hard and so fast, how he was able to slide perfectly into your life like he was always meant to be there. Like you'd been waiting for him. And he'd embraced it, he'd taken your love and sent it right back because of course he did. You were his sweetheart, the one thing in this crazy messed up world that had been just his, so how could he have ever done anything but love you?
Alphys had tried again to get them to let her run experiments to determine the nature of his bond, she'd thrown around the words 'predestined' and 'unprecedented' and if not for you, fast asleep in his arms and still so fragile, he may have actually hit her rather than just being tempted to. One look at his brother had apparently been enough to communicate his frustration and he ushered them both out, leaving Sans and his sleeping soulmate in peace.
So now he sat, rhythmically running his phalanges over your scalp, turning over the whole situation in his mind and he decides it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you were some mythical predestined soulmate, or if you'd formed this bond over the course of your relationship in a slightly more traditional way. You're the one he fell in love with, and it doesn't matter how or why that happened because you're the best thing to happen to him since Papyrus. You're his bonded soulmate, and he wouldn't want to change that for all the stars in the sky.
Something my soul needs
You wake slowly, the familiar comfort of bones wrapped around you. You're still achy and tired, but less so than before and you're tired of being tired. Sans must feel you shift or notice a change in your breathing because he nuzzles his nasal bone into your neck and presses a kiss to the side of your head.
"hey sweetheart, feelin' any better?"
"Mmm a little," you mumble back "what did Alphys say?"
He mutters something and then sighs "short version is we're soulbonded. anythin' beyond that's jus unnecessary speculation."
"What's that mean though?" You tilt your head to look at him "what changed from how we were before?"
"well, we've been like this fer a while. 's hard to pinpoint how far back since we didn't 'xactly go the traditional route but 's not important now. our souls are tied together, each got a piece o' the other's," he taps his index phalange at your sternum "you've got a lil literal piece o' my heart in there sweetheart." Your giggle makes him chuckle and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you tight against his ribcage. "monsters don't really get any closer'n this. guess we could get married if it means a lot to ya fer the human side. won't be able to spend big chunks o' time apart, tho ya might'a figured that one out already."
"Not that we really did much of that anyway," you point out with a grin.
"tha's true" he laughs, and you missed that laugh more than you could adequately express. It makes your heart swell to be a source of joy for him. "ya could uhh… move in here with me an' boss, if you wanted to?"
"Let me think about it?" You nuzzle into his clavicle and in that moment you honestly want nothing more than to do that. Than to exist in the same space as him, fall asleep with him every night and wake up every morning. To know there's always someone for you to come home to, someone who cares about you so deeply. "Probably, but I'll let you know for sure once I'm better." You don't want to rush yourself or feel obligated or like you're a burden. Which was probably a ridiculous concern at this point but it was there nonetheless.
"whatever you want sweetheart" and you knew that to be true, he's the type of person to put himself aside for the sake of those he loves. He would give up something he wants for the sake of your happiness, and you don't want him to do that.
"I do want to." You press another kiss to his mandible and he turns his head to give you a proper kiss back. "What I want to do right now though is take another nap with you." You might have been recovering, but your stamina was still shot.
"never gonna say no to a nap, especially with mah sweetheart." He settled in as your boney pillow and pet you until you fall asleep.
Something my soul needs
When Papyrus next checked on his brother and newest sibling, they're curled around each other so intricately that he couldn't really tell where one ends and the other begins. They were both sleeping peacefully and a tension eases that had been coiled in his bones since that first day he'd come home to Sans alone on the couch instead of curled up with you. He smiled at the sight and just took a moment to appreciate their happiness. He wasn't sure what would come next; he knew there's bound to be some struggles, especially with the current political climate, but he also knew that both of them were strong, and how much stronger they were together even if they didn't see it themselves. He closed the door and slipped silently back down the stairs. He was proud of his brother for finding you and holding on to his own happiness, even if he'd foolishly tried to let it go. Papyrus was sure he'd never let his brother try to be that foolish again.
Is you, lying next to me.
And it's you, lying next to me.