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Tony isn’t stalking Peter, necessarily. He’s not that much of a creep, but Peter had told him that he was going to the park with his son today, and Tony would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious about this parent side of Peter that he never gets to see.
And besides, it’s a nice day to be out running, and Tony could need the exercise. (He’s an Avenger, he needs to be in top shape, it’s not because his body is getting older, shut up.)
So Tony takes a trip down to the park in question, and tries to convince himself that his reason for driving all the way to Queens to jog is believable, and not at all suspicious, should Peter spot him.
And it’s not like it’s totally out of character for him to travel somewhere to get away from where everyone will recognize him if he steps out the door. It’s just that he doesn’t have time to take the jet anywhere today. He has meetings he needs to attend today, after all. (Not that he intends to actually go to said meetings, but Peter doesn’t need to know that. If he asks.)
Thankfully it’s not the smallest park in the area, and enough space for Tony to watch from a distance. And actually jog, if he could make his feet move at all. As it is though, he’s frozen in place, looking at this little kid running around on the grass.
He’s laughing, loudly, and chasing bubbles floating through the sky with a balloon strapped to his wrist. Peter is crouching, camera around his neck and grinning like he doesn’t have a single worry in the world.
The smile is probably visible from the moon, and it’s the most beautiful thing Tony has ever seen in his life. The magnitude of it, the wrinkles forming around his eyes because his cheeks are stretched so wide. The sparkles in those brown orbs, and the way he so effortlessly laughs along with his son when a bubble breaks right in front of his nose.
Something weird is happening to Tony’s heart as he stands there, shamelessly staring at the tiny family. His feet are rooted to the paved path, and his entire body is struggling to figure out if he wants to join them or run the other way.
He never wanted a family. That’s not a Tony Stark thing to want. He was gonna be the famous billionaire no one could tame. That was his plan. He doesn’t do long-lasting relationships, and definitely not kids .
And Peter accepted that. He agreed to this relationship deal. Exclusive and experimental, and slow-moving, but nothing set in stone. But Tony is weak for this young man. He barely knows anything about him at all, but it’s still agonizing to think about a future where he won’t be able to call just to chat, or meet up after a rough day, or spend the entire day and night messing around in bed.
He wants Peter as a permanent part of his life. Eventually. He craves that stability of knowing that he won’t lose him. But he doesn’t feel like he can do the whole parenting thing. Or if little Normie would even accept him as a semi-parent of some sort.
And looking at them chasing each other on the grass, lighthearted giggling filling the air around them, it doesn’t look too bad. Maybe he could do that. But could he intrude on that specific family?
They’re already established. Connected in a way Tony will never understand. And even if he managed to fit himself into that somehow… Should he do it?
There’s another man who’s supposed to join them as they fight for the balloon. A man little Normie can’t remember. A man Peter loves more than anyone, even in death. A man whose ring he’s still wearing around his neck, faithful even five years after his duty as a husband fell apart.
His heart tightens in his chest, and he sucks in a breath as Peter picks up his son and runs across the field, a burst of bubbly, happy laughter trailing after them as the kid bounces on his father’s shoulder. He realizes, his heart shattering in the process, that he can never be a part of it. They’re already whole. Their puzzle is complete, showing this beautiful picture of what a family really is.
Tony can’t force himself to fit. And even if he could, he doesn’t want to destroy it.
He doesn’t cry, where he’s standing like an idiot in the middle of the pavement. But he blinks a couple of times, swallowing down all these emotions he didn’t even know he had.
This is a man he doesn’t even know that well. This is a man the entire world thinks he can’t stand. A man with so many secrets and such a massive wall around him that no one will ever be able to know him entirely. Except maybe the dead husband.
Except maybe the kid, who’s the only one able to bring such a wholesome, joyous and honest smile to his dad’s face.
There’s so much of Peter Parker, Spider-Man, that Tony doesn’t know. So much he’ll probably never know. There are so many questions Peter refuses to answer. And Tony can understand why he’s so hesitant to open up. He’s got secrets of his own. He too keeps his true self close to his chest.
But he’s been sharing himself with Peter all along. Without even realizing it, he’s opened up and told bits and pieces about the Tony Stark that lives underneath the facade. And he didn’t even have to think twice.
He trusts Peter with his life. Even when he was just a face and a first name. When they met up after a joined fight just to calm the adrenaline a little. That was the whole reason he asked to be exclusive in the first place.
He didn’t know about the hidden family at the time, though. He’d seen the ring around his neck, but he didn’t think it meant what it did. Now that he knows, and clearly sees what it symbolizes…
Tony takes a deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek as he turns around and jogs back to his car. Maybe he can get his ass to those meetings after all. Maybe he can clear his head of the images of a happy, pure Peter and the sound of his son’s delighted laughter.