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Jack comes alive to the sound of bees buzzing and Castiel’s voice. He sits up gingerly in the soft green grass, rubs at his neck as the muscles finish fitting back together.
“The human heart is a strange vessel. I don’t quite understand why my father made you this way. Love and hatred can exist side by side, jealousy and excitement, happiness and deep, deep depression. You are….walking conundrums. Emotions confuse me greatly, and yet, I am forced to experience them, just by my association with you. With the Winchesters. With each human I encounter, I learn more, and I realize I know nothing at all.” Castiel looks over at Jack, as a bright yellow butterfly flits over to land on his hair. “I am logical. I know that each death you have, while painful, is not permanent. But it still hurts me.”
He falls silent and Jack says nothing, looking around, taking in the view. They are in the middle of a meadow, high on a hill. Beehives stand a ways off, covered in the humming creatures flying in and out. Lilac bushes sway in the wind, sweet fragrance and loose petals drifting in the air.
“Where are we Cas?” Jack asks after a moment, as the grass bends in the breeze and a bird chirps, song filling the silence.
“Neither here nor there.” Castiel replies, catching a petal from the air. He crushes it between his thumb and forefinger, oil glistening on his skin.
“Cas.”
Castiel sighs and drops the crumpled petal. “We are neither here nor there. There is no true name for this place. It is where angels come to rest and recuperate, far from the reaches of heaven or hell. You may only enter and leave, any other magic does not work. You cannot kill or harm another here. This is a between place, a gateway to all dimensions and times.”
Jack stands, walks a bit further to examine the sights. He can see a large tree in the distance, branches shimmering and waving high in the sunlight. There is a stream that runs, tumbling over the roots and arching up, defying physics to weave among the branches. Animals dart in and out of the sparkling foliage.
“It’s…beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Jack’s voice is filled with awe as he gazes around.
“No, you wouldn’t have. No one truly knows what this place looks like. It takes the shape of whatever you wish it to. My father has said that even he does not know the origin of it. This place registered you as an object, an anomaly in energies, and so it became as only I wished it.” Castiel replies, drawing his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “It has the power to heal, to calm and soothe. This is how is does so, by taking desire and making it pure.”
“So, we’re basically in your head?” Jack asks, coming to lay on the grass beside him. Cas looks down at him as he pillows his head on his hands, staring up at the clouds. They are large, fluffy and white as they twist into different shapes.
“Not exactly. I fear my head is full of too many dark memories to produce something so light. This place,” Cas gestures around, “is what I need for healing.”
“Ah. Look! A bunny.” Jack replies, pointing up at the sky. Cas slips down to lay next to him, placing his head on his hands as well.
“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if I had been mortal? Or if you were human? Or if any of this hadn’t happened really?” Jack asks quietly.
“I wonder, yes, but I do not grieve for what could have been or what may have been. There lies the path to madness” Cas replies gravely.
“Sometimes, I forget.” Jack says. “I mean, I forget a lot of things. I’ve forgotten places and people. But I never can forget the stories I learn. Yours though, I find hard to remember.”
Cas looks over at him, eyes questioning.
“You aren’t decades old, or even centuries old. You’re older than earth, older than the universe. You’re pure energy and I find it difficult to wrap my head around.” Jack continues, “But even through all of that, I can’t help but think of you as anything more than just another story I’ve taken a part in. It’s strange Cas. Strange because it’s so rare to meet someone who understands that the earth keeps turning. And that when it does stop, because eventually all things come to an end, it doesn’t mean that life is over. It just means that another story is beginning. It means that in every moment, we are neither here nor there. And it’s odd, because despite all of that you still mean more to me than the rest of the world, I’d still go to the ends of space and time with you.”
Castiel lets a slow breath escape him as they stare at the sky together. The clouds above them roll, passing dreamlike across the cobalt sky.
“Cas?” Jack says, shifting his shoulders to a more comfortable position and turning his head toward Castiel.
“Yes, Jack?”
“Can you change this place? Like, can you manipulate it?”
“To a certain extent. As I said, this place purifies desires. If I desire something, and it can help heal me, then there is a chance that what I desire may come to pass.”
“Oh…” Jack didn’t finish his thought, trailing off distracted. More time passes as they lie there, letting the warm breeze wash over them.
“Was there something you wished to see Jack?” Castiel finally asks.
“I was rather hoping, that since there is no one around to see, and there is no danger…maybe you could try to...uncloak your wings.”
Castiel is silent, weighing Jack’s statement as they rest. He sighs softly, and struggles to his feet, pulling Jack with him. “Jack… I haven’t shown anyone my wings since...before.” Cas starts, obviously struggling with his words.
Jack smiles softly, raising a hand to caress Castiel’s shoulder. “I understand.”
“I’ll try, but I may not be able to.” Cas continues, taking a step away from Jack. “This place, magic, I’ve told you they do not mix. I cannot control everything nor how the environment reacts to my thoughts.”
Jack allows his hand to slip from Cas’ shoulder as the angel moves. Cas slips his trench coat off, and unbuttons his shirt, folding them both gently, placing them on the ground.
“Cas, I asked to see your wings, not have you make me fly.” Jack grins, and the man shakes his head. Jack smiles again at the flush that creeps over Cas’ cheeks.
”Jack. Close your eyes.” Cas says quietly, spreading his arms. Jack obeys and a bright flash of colour moves across his eyelids. He gasps, opening them, blinking away the shadows left by the sharp light. Cas stands in front of him, arms outstretched. Rising from his back are giant wings, feathers long and shimmering like satin in the sunlight. Jack watches as Cas slowly lowers his arms, crossing them in front of his pale chest. Jack meets his eyes and Cas nods, beckoning him forward. Jack shuffles closer, and allows his hands to dip into the plush feathers. They are iridescent in the sun, dark black shimmering with green and purple hues. Jack slides to the ground, fingers combing through to the lowest feathers, the area that looks as if the plumes have been dipped in molten silver.
“Cas…they’re gorgeous.” Jack whispers. Castiel looks at the man on his knees before him. The sun is glinting around his hair, and Jack glances up, sees the halo formed by the sun’s rays. “I’ve never seen anything like them.” Castiel sets a hand on Jack’s head, weaving his fingers through the man’s hair.
“There are many things that can not be seen in this world, Jack. If we were to open our eyes, perhaps we would see more, understand more.”
Jack leans his head into the touch, eyes watering though he doesn’t understand why. They stay, pressed together for ages, Cas murmuring to Jack as the man rests. Eventually, it is Jack who moves apart, raising on shaky legs to embrace the angel.
“Cas?” he murmurs into the man’s shoulder, lips pressing to bare skin, hot from the sun. “Thank you for showing me.”
“You’re welcome, Jack. It was...therapeutic in some way. To be accepted in that form, instead of..revered.” Cas nods and Jack pulls away. They begin to walk, strolling over to the beehives. They sit, Jack’s back pressed to Castiel’s bare chest, Cas’s wings cocooning them from the breeze that has begun to chill. And for a moment, all is calm. All is quiet. All is….pure simplicity.