Chapter Text
[Alisaie started the chatroom.]
[Alisaie changed their name to ThatBitch]
[ThatBitch added 13 people to the chat.]
[ThatBitch locked the chat.]
Estinien: what the fuck
[Estinien changed their name to xX_DRAG0NHUNT3R_Xx]
Minfilia: Language!!!
ThatBitch: lmao edgelord
[ThatBitch changed Minfilia's name to Momfilia]
Kazan: oh hey a gc. Also, accurate.
[Kazan changed their name to WarriorOfBi]
WarriorOfBi: perfect
G'raha: Hello??? What is this???
[ThatBitch changed G'raha's name to Disaster]
Disaster: ...okay that's fair
Y'shtola: So, it seems this old group is back, hmmm?
[Y'shtola changed their name to BlindRhuler]
Lyse: Babe!!! Hi!!!
[BlindRhuler changed Lyse's name to Lysebian]
BlindRhuler: There we go.
Lysebian: :ldajkb;sfkl b;lslb;a lj
ThatBitch: okay that's it
[ThatBitch revoked admin rights from 9 people]
ThatBitch: kazan, papalymo, moenbryda, tataru, you four are the only ones i trust with admin
ThatBitch: other than myself, obviously
WarriorOfBi: a horrible decision, really
Urianger: Verily, thou shouldst not trust these four.
[Moenbryda changed Urianger's name to Whomst'd've]
[Moenbryda changed their name to Legg]
Whomst'd've: ...Oh dear Hydaelyn, take me unto thine bosom.
Legg: lmao
Papalymo: oh gods this is going to go horribly
[Papalymo changed their name to thesaneone]
WarriorOfBi: you're just as mad as the rest of us tf you on about
thesaneone: please just let me have this
Thancred: didn't expect to see this today
[Thancred changed their name to DangerouslySassy]
DangerouslySassy: It's only a matter of time until ryne finds out and begs to add her and gaia
Krile: so how long until alphinaud sees this and has a stroke
[Krile changed their name to SmolScholar]
SmolScholar: much better
[Alphinaud changed their name to SharlayanProdigy]
SharlayanProdigy: Hello everyone! It's wonderful to hear from you all!
[Tataru changed their name to CoinQueen]
CoinQueen: no.
[CoinQueen changed SharlayanProdigy's name to Floaties.]
Floaties.: I-
ThatBitch: LMAO GET FUCKED ALPHINAUD
WarriorOfBi: bitch boy can't swim
Floaties.: Neither can Urianger!!!
CoinQueen: urianger didn't spend a shit ton of our funds on accident
Whomst'd've: as they doth say
Whomst'd've: get fucked, bitch boy.
SmolScholar: damn urianger drag his ass!!!
Lysebian: i mean they're not wrong...
Disaster: he did what???
CoinQueen: he bought back gosetsu's katana after gosetsu sold it to live
CoinQueen: it was worth several million gil
Floaties.: I SAID I WAS SORRY!!!!!
CoinQueen: yeah and kazan and i had to go work out a deal with animal people
WarriorOfBi: that was a weird day
WarriorOfBi: but anyways alphinaud you spent several million gil you get what you deserve
Floaties.: I have been betrayed!!!
ThatBitch: this chat needs a name
[ThatBitch changed the chat name to Dumbasses of the Seventh Dawn]
WarriorOfBi: Accurate.
WarriorOfBi: also
[WarriorOfBi locked xX_DRAG0NHUNT3R_Xx's name]
xX_DRAG0NHUNT3R_Xx: what
ThatBitch: it's so edgy lol
Momfilia: I think it's wonderful that we all have a chat together!!!
WarriorOfBi: hey alisaie mind if i add one of my m8s
ThatBitch: nah go ahead
[WarriorOfBi added Ardbert to the chat]
ThatBitch: i take it back i mind immensely
WarriorOfBi: no takebacks lol
Ardbert: oi what's this
WarriorOfBi: chat with some more of my m8s
Ardbert: fucking nice
Momfilia: Language!!!!
Legg: yeah that's not gonna happen MILF
Legg: MILF
Legg: Minfilia
Legg: fucking autocorrect
Momfilia: ...oh
Ardbert: how much do you type that if it's showing up in autocorrect
Legg: stop asking questions fucker
[Legg changed Ardbert's name to Aardvark]
Aardvark: what
WarriorOfBi: LOL she got you m8
Whomst'd've: Oh. Tis thee.
Aardvark: oh yeah, that twig that only talks in old eorzean dialect.
Whomst'd've: Hold thy tongue.
Aardvark: nah mate
[Aardvark changed their name to First'sAxe]
First'sAxe: There we go
Legg: so anyways who's this asshole
xX_DRAG0NHUNT3R_Xx: yeah i've never heard of him before
WarriorOfBi: oh yeah you two weren't around for that
WarriorOfBi: Basically some asshole blackmailed ardbert and his friends to fuck shit up around Eorzea University and some of the nearby areas
WarriorOfBi: naturally knowing our luck we got caught in the middle of it
WarriorOfBi: then urianger started acting as a double agent without any of us aside from minfilia knowing.
WarriorOfBi: turns out he was feeding info to her-
Momfilia: It was quite easy to figure out what was going on!
WarriorOfBi: so yeah minfilia ended up getting a recording of Ardbert and his friends fighting y'shtola, urianger, alphinaud, alisaie, thancred, and i, and learning who was blackmailing them
Momfilia: then I deleted all the blackmail they had and sent the recording to the relevant authorities to show who was responsible!
Momfilia: ardbert and his friends got off with just community service!!! :D
WarriorOfBi: yeah minfilia is a really good hacker, surprisingly.
FirstsAxe: still feel bad about all that shite... no hard feelings?
Disaster: Before you say anything, alisaie, ardbert was very supportive while I was attending norvrandt u.
ThatBitch: ...alright just so you don't make that begging face at me later.
WarriorOfBi: nobody can resist his begging he's too pure-
Legg: lmao a lot of shit must've happened while I was gone.
[Floaties. changed their name to SharlayanProdigy]
SharlayanProdigy: Good to have that name back.
[WarriorOfBi changed SharlayanProdigy's name to Floaties.]
[WarriorOfBi restricted changing nicknames in Dumbasses of the Seventh Dawn for 24 hours]
Floaties.: KAZAN WHY I TRUSTED YOU
WarriorOfBi: A horrible decision, really
ThatBitch: get fucked lmao
CoinQueen: that's what you get for spending my money
Momfilia: You mean our money, right?
CoinQueen: i know what i said
WarriorOfBi: one(1) fear
CoinQueen: Anyways @BlindRhuler @Lysebian
CoinQueen: STOP MAKING OUT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES I CAN HEAR YOU THROUGH THE WALLS
Lysebian: oh gods i'm so sorry!!!!
BlindRhuler: I'm not
CoinQueen: that's it your shins are mine
BlindRhuler: Bold words coming from a baby gold popoto.
CoinQueen: i'm coming for your ass
BlindRhuler: Sorry, I'm afraid that belongs to Lyse.
Lysebian: :AFLKDLJBLSJL:DOIBJO"SAFK
WarriorOfBi: kinky lmao
CoinQueen: i'll tell matoya all the shit you get up to with lyse
BlindRhuler: wait no-
CoinQueen: finger is approaching the call button...
BlindRhuler: oh sweet hydaelyn please no she'll never let me live it down
CoinQueen: 1000 gil and you two do that in Lyse's room since that's farther from mine
BlindRhuler: D E A L
CoinQueen: Good! Glad we could come to an agreement!
WarriorOfBi: i reiterate. one(1) fear
First'sAxe: you're all bloody fucking insane
WarriorOfBi: yep, and you're not leaving
First'sAxe: Shite.