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It started small, an almost unnoticeable tremor in his hands that started after he was executed. He had chalked it up to leftover adrenaline, something temporary. Techno took pride in his steady hands, years of training and experience showing as he easily sliced through enemies and stitched up battle wounds.
Imagine his dismay when he found that he could barely hold a mug.
“It’s okay mate,” Phil tried, giving him a sympathetic smile as hot liquid spilled from the lip of the mug and over his hand. Techno stared blankly as it sunk into his skin, the burning sensation that had shot through his hand slowly dulling. Phil gently took the mug from his hands, setting it on the table in between them. Silence stretched between them, Techno’s gaze unmoving from the cup.
“Do you want to try again?” Phil asked hesitantly, pushing the mug closer to him with a finger. He abruptly stood, chair screeching against the floor as he strode towards the door. Phil made a noise of confusion but he paid him no mind, snatching his cape from the coat rack and stepping out into the cold, the door slamming behind him.
Techno fumbled with the clasp on his cape, fingers unable to still enough to clip it around his shoulders. He sank to the steps, cape pooling uselessly around him as he pressed the heels of his palm into his eyes. Tears of frustration started to burn his eyes, the slight tingling of his nose solidifying the fact that he was on the verge of tears. Techno just pressed harder against his eyes.
The door opened behind him, quiet footsteps creaking on the balcony before stopping behind him. “Hey,” Phil greeted softly, settling a warm hand on his shoulder. He didn’t answer. Phil shuffled around behind him, hand leaving his shoulder as the man dropped to sit on the stair next to him. Techno removed his hands, quickly blinking to get used to the sudden light. He watched as Phil clasped and unclasped his hands, fidgeting with his fingers.
“So,” Phil started, grasping for some sense of normalcy. “Ranboo’s coming over tonight, that’s exciting.” He said brightly, nudging Techno’s shoulder with his own when he failed to respond. Techno hummed in agreement, “exciting.” He echoed, voice hoarse and small. A small smile stretched across Phil’s face, “Yeah, he hasn’t been around for a while. I miss him.” Techno silently nodded his head, staring at the snowflakes that had begun to dust the steps.
“Can we go inside now? It’s cold out here.” Techno snorted, eyeing Phil’s casual shirt and pants. “Yeah, alright.” He said begrudgingly, standing up and offering a hand down. Phil grasped it gratefully, Techno hoisted him up with too much strength and sent him stumbling across the floor. On accident, of course.
Phil gasped dramatically, pointing an accusing finger at him. “You tried to kill me!” He exclaimed, Techno raised his hands in mock surrender. “Guilty,” Phil swatted his shoulder with a chuckle, opening the door and walking inside. Techno scooped his cloak up from the floor and followed him in.
The mug lay forgotten on the table as Phil lounged in his armchair by the fire, lazily turning the pages of a book. Techno was sprawled out on the couch, blanket tugged over his shoulders as he watched the flames flicker and crackle. His eyes slowly slid shut, letting him drift off into sleep.
-✧-
Technoblade raised his head to meet the encouraging gaze of Phil, the man standing in front of him as he lifted a sword. Muffled cheering reached his ears as the blade wobbled between them. Techno looked up to grin at Phil as a tremor ran through his hands, causing the blade to slip and slice his friend in the stomach. Shock flickered across Phil’s face as he went to clutch at the wound, the sound of screaming filled his ears before it all went dark.
He woke up with a jolt, frantically looking around for Phil. The armchair was empty and charred logs sat in the fireplace. His heart pounded in his ears as he tried to regain his breath, sitting up and curling in on himself, clutching his shirt in his hands. “It’s fine,” he said quietly to himself, “it was just a dream.” He slowly freed the fabric from his clammy hand, going to run it through his hair instead. Techno glanced out the window, the world was still dark, washed in grey. Phil was asleep, surely. That’s why he wasn’t there.
Techno took a breath, laying back down and pulling the blanket around him in a futile attempt to doze off. It didn’t work. Adrenaline still pumped through his veins, causing his hands to be shakier than normal. Techno sighed, pushing the quilt off and sitting up, swinging his legs over the side of the couch. He had to do something, the image of Phil clutching his stomach still fresh in his mind. He winced as the scene played again, racking his brain to think of things to distract himself with.
Techno suddenly pulled all his hair to one side, slowly separating the strands into three sections. He could do this, it would be fine. He fumbled with the hair, loosely weaving them together with great difficulty. Techno dropped the half-finished braid, slumping against the back of the couch in defeat. He couldn’t do it, it was useless, he was useless. He couldn’t even steady his hands to braid his hair. Something he loved doing.
In the back of his mind, he knew it was unfair to think like this. But he ignored it, deciding it was easier to wallow in his newfound sadness than tackle the problem at hand.
Light footsteps crept up behind him where he sat, defeated by his own hands. “Techno?” A quiet voice said, he turned his head towards the noise. Ranboo stood next to the couch, hair spiked out from sleep as he stared drowsily at him, concern dragging down the corners of his mouth. “Oh, hi Ranboo. When did you get here?” He had forgotten Ranboo was set to arrive, suddenly feeling very guilty he had woken him up. “Just a couple of hours ago, you were asleep,” Ranboo replied, squinting at his dishevelled appearance and semi-done braid. Techno saw Ranboo’s eyes flick down to his hands, understanding flickering in his eyes. Phil must’ve said something. He silently cursed his hands for trembling like the prey he hunted.
“You good, man?” Ranboo asked, “I heard some...panicked noises.” Techno chose to ignore the worry that practically radiated off the lanky boy. “Yeah,” he replied, keeping his voice gruff. “Just y’know,” he waved a hand toward his messily braided hair. Ranboo nodded, seeming to understand what he was trying to say. “Where’s Phil?” He asked, masking the need to know he was alive with a casual tone.
“He's asleep in his room, he told me to tell you if you woke up but I forgot until now,” Ranboo replied with a sheepish smile. Techno’s posture relaxed slightly in relief, although he would deny it if someone pointed it out.
“Do you need help?” Ranboo motioned towards his hair, shifting his weight nervously as he waited for Techno’s response. “Uh, sure.” Ranboo walked around the couch, settling down next to him. “Do you know how to braid?” He asked as he shifted so his back was towards him. Ranboo hummed in confirmation as he reached for his hair, slowly undoing the sloppy braid. “Phil taught me, he said it might be useful in the future.” Techno sighed, exasperated but still fond. “Of course he did.”
Ranboo rambled about his life in Snowchester, tone quiet and gentle as he wove the strands of hair together with ease. Techno just listened, occasionally making a quip of him being the main character which Ranboo would always pause to laugh at. It was nice.
Ranboo tied off the braid with some twine he pulled out of his pocket, “done!” He exclaimed happily, draping his work over Techno’s shoulder so he could see. An overwhelming emotion rose in his chest as he examined the braid, a single snowdrop flower was woven in between one of the loops. Ranboo noticed him looking at it, “we- I have a garden in Snowchester, I thought you might like it.” Ranboo explained hesitantly. Techno cleared his throat, “thank you,” he replied, keeping his voice gruff.
Ranboo grinned, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning against the couch. “Sorry about your hands,” he said after a moment, Techno gave him a small smile. “It’s alright. Something bad always has to happen to the mentor, right? It’s all part of the script.” He joked, Ranboo’s eyes crinkled up as he laughed, resting his chin on his knees. “I- we missed having you around, you should come over more often.” Ranboo raised an eyebrow, “or at least that’s what Phil said.” He quickly added. Ranboo nodded, his grin turning into a soft smile.
"I miss you guys too.”