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It was the dead of winter when Zagreus showed up at Thanatos' apartment in the middle of the night, nothing with him but an overstuffed gym bag and nerves running high.
A few weeks after that night, Zag was still there on his couch when he got home from work. They had given up on that being his sleeping arrangement when his nightmares became more frequent, opting to ease them as they always had by chatting until Zagreus was sound asleep. Thanatos picked up his spare key - cute little butterfly keychain attached - from the kitchen table before heading back to the living room.
"You can hold onto this for now, no need to keep leaving it around. You might misplace it," Than had said, using practicality as an excuse as he held the keyring out in the space between him and his friend. Truly, he was wondering if Zagreus had meant to leave it because he also meant to leave entirely, find his own space. Thanatos would never make him stay, but-
"Oh. I mean, I thought this was your only spare," Zagreus said, casually, hoping he wasn't misreading the meaning behind the gesture. Zag took the item gingerly, as though it were some kind of offering. He had been half expecting to have overstayed his welcome already.
"It is," Than answered with the strange air of finality meaning he wanted to change the subject.
They did. They ate what Zag cooked. They watched whatever Thanatos put on his little tv with half interest, too invested in talking about everything else that came to mind. They never broached the subject of Zag staying, and somehow he never really made to leave. Than was relieved in ways he couldn't bring himself to give voice to.
***
Weeks slipped by into months. Zag returned to work at Hades Corp (albeit in a different department, and with much string pulling on the part of Achilles). The weather warmed. Even with how cool it stayed in Thanatos' apartment, he found himself longing for a day out in the sun and air, something decidedly away from the big city.
His childhood friend often worked late, always had. Even though he made an effort to leave on time more frequently now with something - someone - to come home to, it sometimes couldn't be helped. The sun set much further into the evening approaching the official start to summer, but it was only barely hanging on as Than got home one night. Zag was making his way through an enormous bowl of popcorn while watching some cheesy romance about a guy winning back his girl through his awesome guitar skills.
After promising that he ate a decent dinner, they sat and shared the rest of his theater-style, extra buttery popcorn. With the credits playing after a sappy-sweet ending to the movie, Zagreus leaned back, stretching. Than looked to be nearly asleep, but his eyes ended up on the one sat next to him.
"Than, when was the last time you had a proper vacation? One where you didn't work any days of the week, and one where you weren't glued to this couch?" Zag was asking, a knowing half-grin tilting his lips, all but saying he knew it had been years, if ever.
Thanatos did look pensive at that. When was it? Perhaps when they were still in high school, and Nyx had taken the boys, and Zag, on a road trip to see Persephone. There had to be a time while he was working. No matter how busy they were at Hades' company, human resources made the employees take at least one week a year of their paid leave. But every one of those he could think of was spent, as Zagreus suggested, here binge watching a couple of shows and mindlessly going over spreadsheets. To be fair, planning a trip out of town seemed exhausting. Driving, people, and worst of all, being far from Zag.
The silence had stretched on so long Zagreus spoke up. "Let's go to the beach. Not like, today, but soon. I know you have time built up for it."
"Tch, I don't want to go to Atlantic City, Zag. Do you remember the weekend after you turned 21 and we went with Charon and Hermes?" Than sounded utterly nonplussed.
"No," Zagreus answered, tone nearly scolded, "but that's why we're not going with those party animals. And why we're not just going over to Jersey."
Good, Thanatos thought to himself. That trip had been a nightmare for one glaring reason. No matter what they'd become in the months since Zag had moved in, the younger man seemed to have forgotten getting so drunk he kissed him back then. And had also forgot how he'd frozen in shock from it, not wanting to take advantage of a friend.
"Where were you thinking?" Than asked with an arched brow, quick to lead the subject away.
Apparently this wasn't some impulsive thought on Zagreus' part. He picked up his phone and already had a place in mind, a route set up, rental car, hotel prices, the works. "Myrtle Beach. It would be before the peak season, we're past spring break but before the Fourth.
Thanatos was impressed. Usually Zag did everything spur of the moment. His eyes shifted up to catch those heterochromic ones still pouring over his phone. He's planning this for me, Than realized, and an odd warmth radiated out from his core.
"So, anyway," Zag was talking again, "all we really need is for you to put in for time off. Achilles is leaving for Greece for a month, and since I'm his 'underling' now-" Zag used the word in lighthearted mockery of the term his father had tried to taunt him with. "Well, I won't be needed in the office."
Thanatos was already beginning to think - mostly on how suspicious it would be for the two of them to have time off and how it would look to the company. Zagreus was leaning into his field of vision with one of those grins.
"Don't make that face. I've already thought of that," Zag said, resting his hand on Than's arm. "I've got us covered. You are going to have an amazing time, just leave it to me."
They went to bed that night, and Thanatos still found little bubbles of anxiousness under his thoughts. Would Hades fire Zag if he found out? And he might be directly under Hades work-wise, but he was sure he'd be out of work even quicker. He glanced over at Zagreus' restful, sleeping smile and felt the knot in his chest ease, if only a little. Zag might be reckless, but he never once gave Than a reason not to trust him with his entire being.
The very next day, Zag squeezed a few of Thanatos' free moments in to meet with Achilles in human resources and get him set up to take time off. Achilles gave them both his absolute word that no one at the company would have any ideas about their trip.
Weeks flew by at an odd pace, a mix of days seeming to stretch out and then passing by at breakneck speed. Hypnos turned out to be Than's alibi for his vacation, promising to mention him on his speedrun stream at least once that week, and was given a list of possible reasons Than wasn't answering his phone.
Zagreus had bought himself some new swim trunks with lurid flames rising up the legs, and a matching pair of sunglasses. Thanatos had a coughing fit to cover up his face upon seeing them to cover up exactly how dorky-cute they looked.
As they tried to sleep the night before leaving, Zagreus was filled with an excited amount of giddiness, checking and rechecking his bag. He made sure to find his soap, deodorant, high spf sunblock (because he 'burns in about five minutes' as he said), more than enough clothes, his portable game system, charging cables….
"If you don't sleep, you're not going to be able to drive your shift," Than reminded him blearily as he shielded his eyes from the flashlight of Zag's phone for the hundredth or so time.
"Oh, thanks for reminding me, I got one of those big map books!" Zag blurted out, rushing over to grab something else to cram into the poor, overstuffed suitcase.
"Zagreus, we have phones. With GPS. Come to bed," Thanatos mumbled and rolled over to face the pillow.
They slept, and Zagreus was bright-eyed and in the kitchen when Thanatos' alarm went off. It was only a ten hour drive, so they weren't leaving too early, but Zag wanted to be on the road before lunch time.
"Pick your poison," Zag offered with a smile. On the counter was a small mountain of cut fruits, bagels, cream cheese, a freshly brewed pot of coffee and he was flipping over one giant cheese omelette.
They shared the food and washed dishes together with a minimum of water splashing on Zag's part, and made sure everything was set for their week away.
Standing at the door, Zag looked back as Thanatos was adjusting the way his bag sat across his shoulder. "Sure you've got everything packed? Extra clothes just in case? Is it all black?" Zagreus asked with a lopsided smile. Not getting a response he tried harder. "Some purples for good measure?"
That got a response. Than wrinkled his nose with a huff. "Zagreus. If you keep teasing me, you're going on this trip by yourself."
For an answer, Zag winked but mimed zipping his lips, barely holding his grin in check before he faced the doorknob and turned it. Thanatos waited until he was facing away before letting the faintest smile cross his features, and with a small shake of his head, stepped out after his best friend, locking the door behind them.
They rented a car to take on the trip. Zag insisted on something a little bigger than strictly necessary, citing extra leg room for Than to stretch out. He was also happy it had a CD player, and pulled out an aging book stuffed full of music he claimed to have gotten from Persephone. He spent a good part of the drive jarring his friend's ears with some of the worst of what you'd hear on an early Warped Tour.
Taking a rest stop a few hours in to switch drivers, they grabbed some snacks and more caffeine. Than had let Zagreus handle the city traffic, where he felt better on the open highway between. The long stretches of gently curving mountain roads left Zag feeling bored and prone to zoning out behind the wheel.
In the passenger seat, Zag contented himself in going over the map he'd bought, searching for nearby rest areas with attractions on his phone and other little tidbits to share about the places they passed. Mostly Thanatos listened, finding his own peace in the enthusiasm his best friend brimmed with. When Zagreus fell back to silence during a long space between points of interest, he took one of Than's hands and laced their fingers.
"You know that I technically need two hands to drive, right?" Thanatos asked, cutting his gaze to briefly flicker over their joined hands and the relaxed expression the other wore. He saw the corner of that mouth tick upwards slightly just as he returned his attention to the road and squeezed their palms together.
"And here I am, being a bad influence, dragging you into my life of danger," Zagreus replied, turning his teasing up to eleven in an instant. Their closeness had been developing new levels since he moved in, and Thanatos realized with butterflies flitting beneath his ribs that this was just another extension of it. They were holding hands, out in public. Not that anyone could see them within the car, but it was enough that the sun was shining on their tangled fingers. He felt exposed and for once found himself unafraid.
They swapped driving duties a few more times, both feeling a strange mix of tired and electrified as they pulled up to their hotel that night. Thanatos hoped his incredulity stayed off his face as Zag punched the elevator button destined to the top floors.
He was well aware, however, of his mouth going slack a moment as they entered the enormous room, full windows overlooking the twinkling lights below. Than dropped his bag a little heavily just inside the doorway, walking into the middle of the open space - a massive bed taking up much of one wall, a step down into a seating area with a tv he doubted he'd even touch for all the sights. "Zag-" he murmured, turning back to the door.
Zagreus' face was lit up with glee, and he slung his own bags down in an undignified heap, stepping to meet him in the center. "It's great, huh? There's everything, I took a virtual tour. The bathroom has a jacuzzi, there's a mini bar in the fridge, a lounge with real drinks downstairs, room service and a few restaurants still open right now."
Thanatos had his mouth back in proper shape, but he couldn't make any words approach his lips, simply stunned. Zag had done this for him. No, for them.
"If you don't mind, though, I think I want to go for a swim," came an interruption to his muddled thinking with something so blindsiding, so perfectly Zagreus.
"The pool might still be open," Than added, logically.
"I meant the beach," Zag almost laughed as he reached to pick up one of his bags to find his swim trunks.
Thanatos blinked once as he tried to parse the thought. "It's likely not open at night."
Zag looked up from his bag with a frozen look. "It's the ocean. The ocean doesn't close up just 'cause the sun is down." Ah. There it was. That puppy dog, big eyed gaze that always made Than's logic slip. "Just a quick swim. I want to celebrate this vacation, celebrate us-" Zag left the bag and came to stand close to Than.
He answered by pulling the shorter man closer into a gentle embrace. They were still getting used to this - whatever this unnamed thing between them was - in bits and pieces, and Than couldn't help but feel a little stronger about it as time went on. Like heading out onto the beach in the dark, it felt unnerving and uncertain, but if Zagreus was there, hand in his own, he thought maybe it would be alright.
They switched to their swim trunks under shorts and made off back down the elevator, the beach only a short distance away. Zag really had planned this all so perfectly, only to ask for impulsive stunts like this. That wild little smile under his equally wild hair as they stepped onto the sand made it absolutely worth it, though.
They looked around like thieves in the night as they approached the water's edge, stripping off everything aside from their swimwear in a flurry and Zag's playful "Race ya!" made Than's stomach swoop like when they were young. He was always somehow faster, his smaller frame speeding away only to stop and turn as he splashed in the tide to his ankles. Zag reached out to him, and it made his gut do another round of acrobatics as they waded in, hands held fast.
Out where Zagreus' head and shoulders were the only thing above the water, they stopped. He turned and grinned up at Than, and even the pale moonlight reflecting off the water couldn't quench the flush of excitement on his cheeks. He held onto him with both hands and dipped below the surface, reemerging quickly and shaking his hair into drenched spikes. After a little laugh at the frigid spray, Thanatos followed suit, finding himself even closer as he stood back up.
Zagreus found himself starry eyed, looking up as those pale locks looked as if they were made of pure silver in the cool light. "Thank you. For agreeing to this - all of it. It's perfect, every bit." Tell him he's perfect, the little voice in his head said, but Zag's tongue wouldn't cooperate.
With water lapping around their middles, it felt like the tides were nudging them closer to each other, some inexorable draw from inside one another.
"You're the one that's perfect," Thanatos whispered, the words ghosting across Zagreus' lips like an echo of his own thoughts before he leaned in to meet their lips. Around them, the ocean was cold, but here between the two it was warm like a hearth fire. It thrilled goosebumps all up and down their arms.
They parted and Zagreus shivered bodily, an airy chuckle following it. "We didn't bring towels, we're going to be soaking," he said, teeth chattering a little.
"Good thing a huge hotel like that has limitless hot water," Than said, soothing his hands over the smaller ones still in his grasp. "Do you want to swim more, or has this been enough to sate your curiosity?"
Zag indulged in a bashful grin. "Just a little more?"
They swam lazily around each in the dark water, close enough that they bumped each other with tiny laughs, never wanting to be too far apart. The long day was finally starting to wear on them, and deciding Zag's hungry stomach rumble was a good cue to take their leave, headed back to the disheveled pile of their clothes.
They were still hand in hand as they walked back onto the street, and while Thanatos' fingers twitched faintly as they passed the first few people, he did not pull away. An ear to ear grin was plastered across Zag's face, and it made Than feel a little bolder still.
***
Sun crept in through the curtains they forgot to close, and it wasn't long before they were on their way to breakfast, which Zagreus insisted on getting in a nearby cafe advertising waffles and fancy lattes. The real place they were heading was the boardwalk, though.
A huge gift shop and arcade awaited them and even Thanatos had to snicker as they approached. "'The Gay Dolphin'? Let me guess, you're buying souvenirs for the apartment," he asked, and Zagreus didn't miss the amusement still in his tone.
"Our apartment could use a few gay dolphins," Zag said as his elbow emphasized his words, "but I'm here for the arcade games."
Than kept his face schooled, though the butterflies had returned to his insides, spreading from the place he was nudged. Our apartment. The words rattled through his thoughts until Zag stopped them in front of the huge display of some skill game, full of brightly colored prizes. Suddenly wide, mismatched eyes shot a furtive glance at him before digging for his wallet.
Thanatos wasn't even sure what he was after until an excited little noise came from below that spiky fringe, and a stuffed creature toppled from the shelf after a perfect shot. Reaching into the flap-covered door, Zagreus retrieved it and held it out at Thanatos. A stuffed mouse, almost, but not quite like-
"Mort! Well, maybe Mort Jr. - you never did find your old one, did you?" Zag was asking, as Than tried to keep the burn off his cheeks. Such a childish memory, and yet he found himself contending with the vision of a much younger Zagreus holding his original stuffy.
"Tch, Zag-" he tried to argue, though accepting Mort into his hands made the facade falter. He brushed his thumb over the soft fur of the stuffed animal's ear. "He's lovely, but I hope you don't mind me returning the favor." Tucking Mort under his elbow, he took Zagreus' hand and led them to a crane game, peering through its contents for something.
Than fished in his pocket for some money to feed the machine, and the claw-hand started moving. He took his time, adjusting the grabber back and forth just so. When the claw descended upon a red plush they both held their breath, and up it came by one paw, slowly making its way to the delivery chute. It bounced off the ledge and down, and Thanatos bent to pull it out. "Behold!" he said, a dramatic flourish as he presented it with a rare smile of satisfaction on his lips.
Zagreus took the fluffy red puppy with a lolling tongue in his grasp, but quickly his arms were around Than's middle, hugging him with enough force behind those strong arms to make him wheeze faintly. He felt keenly aware of all the people around them, though none seemed to be paying them any mind.
"Cerberus. You remembered," came the muffled voice buried in his t-shirt.
"Well, he's missing two heads and a spiked collar-" Than tried to explain, unsure where to put his hands except for keeping the grip on his own fluffy creature. The real prize was when Zag looked up at him, and laughingly breathed, "Thank you."
***
They ended up leaving with some souvenir wine glasses and a t-shirt each, heading back to the hotel to drop off their payload and grab their swim gear. Thanatos helped Zag get sunscreen on all the awkward places on his back that he couldn't reach, and this time they remembered towels. Swimming in the daylight hours was so different, and Zagreus ventured far out into the water. Thanatos wasn't as brave, staying where he could stand with his shoulders out of the water. Still, he enjoyed watching Zag swim himself into a noodle limbed state and when they laid out on their towels in the sand, he looked exhausted but content.
Of course not ten minutes later, Zag sat bolt upright, startling his friend from a warm reverie of the swim they had the night before. "Let's build a sand castle!" Where did he get so much energy?
They scoured the nearby stores, for drinks and some buckets and shovels to aid in their architecture. Setting out their towels again, they began gathering the wet sand to mould into the foundations. Zagreus rushed back and forth, at least three times as often as Than, who was carefully sifting through to make sure there were no broken shells or other things to ruin the shape.
Zagreus had already finished with his drink, and used the cup to shape towers in corners and along the battlements, poking his straw at it to carve tiny windows. Thanatos was using his own straw to shape whimsical little skulls into the ramparts, and Zag found himself so caught up watching that he forgot what he was doing for a while.
Before they realized it, it was well past lunch and Zagreus had the sense to look at least a touch ashamed when his stomach growled for attention. Their castle was- mostly finished. Good enough for Zag to snap pictures of and Than to laugh at dubbing it Castle Tartarus for all its beautiful skulls.
They walked hand in hand toward the nearest pizzeria, and ordered a whole pie at Zag's insistence he was that hungry. "What are we going to do with this week?" Than asked after a few bites, looking up to find Zagreus with half the crust of his first slice dangling from his mouth.
"There's a go cart place I want to go to, and a few more arcades. And we have to build an even bigger sand castle. With a moat. I know, we can collect little seashells for accents with the skulls you carved. Wouldn't that be perfect?"
"Skulls and seashells?" Thanatos stopped midway to his mouth with the next bite, brow arching.
"Yes! Think about it, they're both just the calcified remains of creatures long gone," Zagreus had already picked up his next slice of pizza, and gestured with the food to emphasize.
"Zagreus. Must you be so cute when you talk about those kinds of things?" Thanatos sounded somehow more incredulous, but he was smiling in that tiny way of his.
Zag's face sobered a little, though his cheeks flushed, "And- I really want to take you for a nice dinner at least one night."
"I don't have anything to wear," Than said as he almost dropped his pizza, looking a bit nervous. "Not that I don't want to-"
"Guess we'll just have to go shopping," Zagreus suggested with a grin. "Would you go on a date with me? A real date."
Thanatos deflected instantly, though his stomach did a flip at the words. "Does a whole week's vacation not count?"
Zag put on his best pout. "Than…"
Thanatos stretched across the table, and took Zagreus' hand into his own. "A date, then."