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Public Safety Announcement: drinking fucking sucks.
Or at least that's what they should tell you to warn you for the killer hangover you'll get the next morning after going hammered the night before. If they'd told you that you'd get skull-crushing headaches and nausea the next morning, maybe you would've held back on the endless trays of drinks that the casino people bring around.
Hell, maybe you'd even remember taking those drinks the night before.
I guess the real statement is that hangover fucking sucks, and you should probably refrain from drinking too much.
But a Vegas group trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so perhaps, getting a little drunk is worth it. Some might even say part of the true Vegas experience.
"Morning everybody," Tommy cheered loudly.
"Oh god, too loud, too loud," Wilbur groaned almost immediately, so did the rest of the table.
"Can we turn off the sun?" George asked, his hands covering his eyes.
"George, you're in the all-you-can-eat breakfast," Tubbo said.
That much was true.
See the three underaged kids had stumbled upon their fully-grown adult friends at the hotel's breakfast buffet in various stages of horrifyingly hungover. Wilbur still had his head down on the table, Punz was the complete opposite of tipping his head back, his eyes still shut.
Karl was propping his head with his hand, George looking like one of the worst ones there was taking up the long couch seating and laying down, his head on Karl's lap. Not in a million years would they have expected to find Bad and Skeppy pretty out of it too, a glass of water on the table in front of them sizzling from what was possibly seltzer.
"How did you guys even get down here?" Ranboo asked as he grabbed a seat near them. "George looks like he could barely walk."
George only replied with a loud groan, rolling to his side and pressing his face against Karl's stomach. Karl let out a very small chuckled as he patted down George's hair.
"Hungry," Punz mumbled.
"Well none of you are eating," Tommy said.
"Calla and Puffy getting food," Bad mumbled.
"Someone turn the Tommy down," Wilbur muttered.
"Oh fuck you bitch," Tommy replied.
"Language," Bad muttered.
"So where's everyone else?" Ranboo asked.
"Uh-" Skeppy's eyes were shut tightly. He was sitting sideways on his chair, leaning his entire back on Bad. "Who are we missing?"
"Oh, you lot are plastered," Tubbo laughed. "Big Q's not here-"
"He's probably still sleeping upstairs," Karl mumbled.
"Well, we know Phil and Jack are definitely still sleeping," Ranboo said.
"Dream and Sapnap," Tommy said. "They're not here."
It was as if a cord has struck the occupants of the table, all of them stiffening in their positions, everyone suddenly at various levels of concern and confusion. Punz opened his eyes and tilted his head forward, turning to Wilbur who finally opened his eyes. Karl lifted his head from his hand and looked down at George who was struggling to open his eyes, but finally did so. Bad and Skeppy shifted in their seat, looking at each other.
"We missed a lot haven't we?" Tubbo asked all amused.
"Did you guys-" Wilbur began. "Was there a wedding last night?"
"A wedding," Ranboo laughed incredulously. "Oh god, who got married?"
The table collectively checked their hands, as if they needed visual confirmation that none of them were suddenly sporting a brand new ring on their finger. It was none of them, much to their relief and also major confusion. Wilbur looked across the table at Bad, who looked at Karl. All of them sharing looks as if they could read each other's minds and hopefully piece the missing spots in their memories.
"It wasn't me and George, I don't think," Karl said.
"I don't-" Bad started. "I don't think it was me and Skeppy."
"No, I would've remembered," Skeppy insisted.
"Would you though?" George groaned, finally pushing himself off the chair to a sitting position. "I'm just relying on Karl's words here, I don't know if I got married or not."
"No it's not them," Punz agreed. "And it's not me, Callahan, or Puffy."
"And it's definitely not me," Wilbur said. "I don't think Q and Jack were drinking enough to get married."
"And it's not Philza," Tubbo did the math in his head. "So that leaves-"
"Dream and Sapnap got married last night?" Tommy cackled loudly, causing the people on the table to wince back. "What the fuck happened?"
"Language," Bad muttered instinctively.
"Uhm-" George said.
"We're gonna play poker," Dream said. "I have a fantastic poker face, mind you."
"No, you don't," Sapnap scoffed. "You think you do because the whole mask metaphor got through your head, you're really just as readable as anyone else."
"You're no better Sapnap, I don't know why you think any of us are going to make money playing with the things that require hiding our faces," Karl said. "Our entire job is to be expressive."
"Not me," Dream said proudly.
"No, Sapnap's right, you suck," George said. "You wanna make sure you make money, learn how to play Blackjack."
"Counting cards is illegal Georgie," Dream tutted.
The elevator door opened and the four of them stepped out into the casino.
The trip to Vegas is something that granted, might've been a not-so-stellar idea. Other than the fact that it was a whole bunch of people who are generally public figures, placed in a very high-risk place filled with potential scandals, and never mind the fact that they brought along people who aren't legally allowed to be in a casino or gamble, it was also a Vegas trip. Nothing good ever happens in a Vegas trip.
Okay, it's not as bad as it sounds. Tommy, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Jack were much capable of entertaining themselves with the wonders of Las Vegas that are perfectly legal for people their age, plus Phil's around to reign them in. And as much as Wilbur and Phil might drink for the night, they're somewhat responsible enough adults. The kids were also responsible. At least Ranboo and Jack are.
And the other half of the group isn't super out of control. It was just a weekend in Vegas. They booked a particularly large villa in the hotel and a few extra rooms to accommodate the number of people, and just wanted to hang out.
"Besides, we have the money," Dream said. "Aren't we here to gamble?"
Yeah. Hang out.
"I thought you hate gambling," Karl piped up.
"Well, I'm not gonna sell short for Sapnap's 21st," Dream gleamed. "Only the best for my boy."
"Awh, thanks Dream," Sapnap giggled.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention that. This trip was not only to have fun with the Brits that have shown up to their country, but it was also to celebrate Sapnap's 21st birthday. What better way of celebrating can you think about other than systematically do everything you're legally allowed to do at that threshold. And Vegas is just the perfect place for those experiences.
"Oh, Sapnap I gotta get you your first drink," George volunteered.
"Get one for Dream too," Sapnap said.
"Now that, I don't like-" Dream interjected. "I don't drink, remember?"
"Come on," Sapnap pleaded. "It's my first drink, and if you love me you'll drink with me."
"Alright fine," Dream rolled his eyes with a smile. "Anything for you."
"Yay-"
"Stop-" Karl shook his head.
"What?" George replied.
"What are you-" Karl sputtered. "Yay? If you love me you'll drink with me? Anything for you?" Karl repeated words from George's retelling with an incredulous tone.
"I was telling you the story of how it happened," George replied.
"You don't need to tell me the story, baby I was literally there," Karl looked at George. "Besides you're all wrong."
"I am not wrong, that's literally how it happened," George said.
"Sapnap didn't giggle and bat his eyelashes all night, they were hardly even flirting," Karl corrected.
"Okay good, because I thought I missed something," Tommy made a face. "Since when were Sapnap and Dream together?"
"They're not," Punz answered.
"Were they not though?" Wilbur replied skeptically.
"They were, they totally were," George responded.
"You're still drunk," Karl said.
"I know when my best friends are flirting with each other," George said confidently.
"Sure, but it's not that obvious," Karl rolled his eyes. "Okay. So what happened was-"
"One drink," Dream said. "I don't like drinking, you know this Sapnap."
"If I have to drink because George is making me, then you have to suffer with me," Sapnap muttered. "Besides, Vegas was your idea stupid. You made your bed, lie in it."
"I will leave you in this hotel," Dream threatened. "I won't take you home with me."
"Sure you will," Sapnap sneered.
Right about this second, George came back with a couple of glasses in his hands. He handed one to each Dream, Sapnap, and Karl, leaving one for himself, before raising their glasses for a quick toast. The little clinking noises the glasses made were drowned out by the absolute chaos of the gaming area. Whether it's people yelling from the craps table or the obnoxiously loud slot machines, they were slowly being drowned out.
"Pure gambling, so roulette then?" Karl offered.
"Lead the way," Sapnap said.
The group quickly made their way to the emptiest roulette table that they could find. After placing money on reds and blacks, they were quickly winning and losing. It was different every other round, as gambling probability states it would be. After a bit, Dream and Sapnap decided to move to another table. They quickly realized that if they were placing bets differently on the same table, it really was just money being passed back and forth between each other.
"We'll just be in the next table over," Dream told Karl. "Don't lose too much fucking money."
"I won't, I won't," Karl whined, pushing another 200 dollars worth of chips onto red number 32.
"Don't let him throw away your life savings," Dream said to George.
"Get out of here," George laughed, pushing Dream towards Sapnap, who'd already settled on the table next to them.
They all had probably been playing for about an hour when the hostess came with drinks. That is how casinos operate, after all. The woman came and offered drinks to Sapnap and Dream, Karl and George having got service minutes before. When Karl turned to see them, he watched as the waitress placed a hand on Sapnap.
Sapnap was quick to hold on to her waist. Dream looked at her and instantly became visibly furious and that's when Karl heard him yell.
"Fuck you," Dream spat. "Get out of here, you piece of trash," He yelled at her.
Punz and Callahan stood there, gaping at the sight that just unfolded in front of them. They stepped in closer, trying to hold Dream back before he could do something that he'd regret. Each of them taking one of his arm as he struggled-
"Are you fucking crazy?" Punz interjected.
"Language," Bad mumbled softly.
"What?" Karl said.
"That didn't happen," Punz said.
"I'm confused," Ranboo piped up. "I thought Dream and Sapnap weren't together."
"Well, they're not," Karl reasoned. "Not yet, anyway. But Dream gets jealous really easy."
"So Dream likes Sapnap," Tubbo said slowly.
"That didn't happen," Punz exclaimed incredulously.
"What are we talking about?" Puffy asked as she finally came back with trays full of food, Callahan quickly behind her.
"Puffy, you were there right?" Punz said victoriously. "Dream didn't curse out the hostess that was serving him and Sapnap."
"I was at the craps table Punz, but that doesn't sound like something Dream would do," Puffy said.
"But Dream was jealous," Tubbo said pointedly. "Apparently," He mumbled.
"No, that's not what happened at all," Punz said. "Calla, back me up on this."
Dream and Sapnap were betting on red for the third time that night, having won a total of 2700 dollars from their current streak. Punz was walking by alongside Callahan, wanting to check out what they were doing before heading to craps table to meet Puffy, who was apparently winning big.
"Hey," Punz peaked over their shoulder. "How much did you guys lose?"
"You wish Punz, we're rolling right now," Dream said proudly.
"Oh really?" Punz said. "Well if you wanna lose that money real soon, me, Calla, and Puffy are gonna be at the craps table."
"I'll think about it," Dream said.
"Drinks, gentlemen?" The hostess said kindly, holding out a tray of alcoholic drinks in front of them.
While Dream politely declined, Punz and Callahan both accepted. Sapnap was a little occupied, having placed their next bet and looking intently at the roulette wheel currently spinning wildly as the ball was dropped.
It happened so quickly though Punz caught it in the corner of his eye. One of the men standing on that table had reached his hand across to grope the hostess, who in turn was taken by surprise so bad that she stumbled back at the same time Sapnap did after seeing he's won another 500 dollars.
"Sorry," She quickly blurted out. "Sorry-"
"No, no, it's okay-" Sapnap went on to steady her ground.
"Fuck you, you piece of shit, I saw what you tried to pull," Dream spat out immediately.
"It's not a big deal man," The guy responded.
"You better get out of here, quick," Punz joined in.
"You're not the boss of this place," The guy scoffed. "Look, she's fine."
The hostess was smoothing her dress down, talking to Sapnap who was calmly asking if she was okay. Punz and Callahan went into position, flanking either side of Dream, and stared the guy down.
"Either you wait for her to get security to take out of here, or we do it," Dream threatened. "Your choice."
The man quickly conceded, unclear of whether it was the threat, the fact that he was outnumbered, or the actual security coming towards them.
"Thank you," The hostess said with a smile on her face. "I'm so sorry, I-"
"You don't have to apologize for shitty guests," Sapnap said. "Really, I hope you're alright. The drinks all spilled-"
"Please, it's fine," She replied. "Your drinks are on me, you guys. Just go to the bar and say it's on Jenna's tab."
"No, it's fine-" Dream said.
"Please, it's the least I could do," She told them before leaving to refill her tray of full drinks.
"Maybe I do wanna get some fancy drink from the bar," Dream said jokingly.
"Maybe something sweet, like a cocktail," Sapnap said excitedly.
"Well we're gonna go play some craps," Punz said. "See ya."
"Oh, so that's why they were at the bar," Wilbur snapped his fingers, and Callahan nodded furiously. "See I remembered that. But I thought I was just drunk, because last I checked, Dream and Sapnap didn't really drink."
"Oh, that's where they went," George hummed. "Yeah, they went missing and I just wasn't really looking for them, I guess."
"Okay," Tommy said. "This is-" He huffed, munching on a piece of bacon. "This is complicated."
"Get your own food man, you're not drunk," Wilbur swatted at Tommy's hand.
"Yeah, I met Puffy at the craps table right after that, so I don't know what happened to them," Punz said, Callahan silently nodding next to him. "It's all a blur after that."
"Wait, so how did we get to the wedding again?" Ranboo asked.
"What wedding?" Quackity said.
"Big Q," Wilbur turned. "How drunk were you last night?"
"A bit," He admitted as he pulled a chair and joined his friends in the severely overcrowded table. "I feel so shitty right now."
"Did Dream and Sapnap get married last night?" George asked.
Quackity sat back on his chair pondering. His eyes could barely focus on the food that was in front of him, his head still swaying a little bit.
"I don't-" Quackity mumbled. "Maybe?"
"I got super waster last night if I'm honest with you," Wilbur said. "Do you remember what happened after they came to the bar?"
"Yeah," Quackity replied. "Yeah, I think."
"Quackity," Sapnap exclaimed as he jumped behind Quackity and starting to shake him around.
"Birthday boy," Quackity said.
"It's not my birthday," Sapnap said. "That was last week."
"Hey Dream," Wilbur greeted. "Did you wanna get a drink or something?"
"Yeah, actually," Dream slid onto the stool next to Wilbur's. "How are you guys holding up?"
"We're just talking," Wilbur said and Quackity nodded.
"And drinking," Quackity cheered.
"You're not playing any games?" Dream asked.
"It's a scam," Quackity said. "The house always wins, I'm not stupid enough to lose my money to the house, and I'm certainly not drunk enough."
"Speaking of drinking, Sapnap isn't this your first drink?" Wilbur asked. "I've got something good for you," He told Spanap as he flagged down the bartender.
"George already got me a drink earlier, it was this blue thing-" Sapnap muttered unsurely. "But I'll take whatever you've got."
"So if you guys don't wanna get scammed by the house," Dream said. "Which is a coward move, by the way, I think me and Sapnap have won 3200 so far," He gleamed proudly. "What are your plans for the night?"
"I'm gonna force Wilbur to sing at the karaoke bar," Quackity grinned. "He's a whole singer. The lead singer of Top 100 Spotify artists, the co-creator of the band Lovejoy."
"Shut up Quackity," Wilbur laughed.
"Dream should go too," Sapnap said. "Dream is also a Youtube trending artist."
"You're so right," Quackity raised his glass and drank. "We should go, like right now."
Sapnap and Dream were forced to chug his drink before Quackity started to drag them out of the bar, and also the casino area. They walked through the lobby, a lot tipsy at this point, laughing and giggling like the chandelier was the funniest thing in the world to them until they ended up on the street.
"Which way?" Dream asked, looking around down the Vegas strip.
"I think it's-" Wilbur was looking down at his phone, trying to zoom in and out of Google Maps.
"Left? Right?" Sapnap asked.
"Left-" Wilbur said. "Wait, Tommy's calling, hang on. Hello?"
"Left!" Quackity yelled, pulling both Dream and Sapnap's arms towards the left side of the road.
They were about two blocks down when Quackity suddenly stopped in his tracks.
"No Tommy-" Wilbur was still on the phone with the kids. "No, you can't- No. You're not buying the statue gargoyle at the side of the hotel. It doesn't matter if Tubbo dared you to. Oh my god, where's Phil?"
"I think I left my phone in the bathroom," Quackity said suddenly.
"Did you leave your phone in the bathroom Quackity?" Dream asked patiently.
Quackity let go of both their arms and patted himself down, hands rummaging through his pockets, both fronts, and backs. He even patted his body, though clearly there were no phones on his person.
"When were you even in the bathroom?" Sapnap asked. "You probably left it at the bar."
"Okay, well I gotta go back for my phone, so I'll meet you there," Quackity turned too quickly that he ran into a few people lining up in a formation.
"It's not even for sale Tommy," Wilbur said. "The hotel isn't going to sell you the gargoyle."
And that's when the music on the street started to play.
"They sold me the gargoyle," Tommy said.
"They did not," Wilbur said.
"They did," Tubbo nodded with the most shit-eating grin on his face. "He isn't allowed to move it, destroy it, or do anything with it, but legally that piece of statue belongs to him now."
"Tommy, how did you even-" Wilbur groaned.
"Yeah, that was the last time I saw either of them before the wedding," Quackity said. "I went back into the casino, found my phone that the bartender kept, and then I was at the chapel."
"The music on the street," Bad said. "Wait, was that the flash mob?"
"There was a flash mob?" Ranboo cackled.
"You're right, there was one," Skeppy piped up. "It was a whole thing- I was publically intoxicated. I'm not sure."
"It was a proposal," Bad said. "Right there on the strip."
Bad and Skeppy were heading back to the hotel from a quick walk up and down the strip, trying to sober up after the excessive drinking that they've just done. They were laughing at a street performer, Skeppy taking a picture with the golden statue man.
They were walking towards the crossroad stoplight when the music started to play. The first few notes of Bruno Mars' classic song Marry You.
The lyrics were echoing through the whole street. There were more and more people joining the dance sequence. It was a lot of arm movement and twirling around. There were flowers being thrown and people carrying what Bad assumed were signs with writing on them.
The sight was captivating as most flash mobs are, attention and grand movements being the whole point of dancing mobs with really loud songs. It was so distracting that Bad and Skeppy stood there watching, completely forgetting to cross the road.
But from across the road, Bad's eyes widened when he caught Dream and Sapnap in the middle of the flash mob. Wilbur was on the side, filming the whole interaction. He watched closely and Dream knelt down to the ground and took Sapnap's hand.
"Sapnap," Dream said. "I love you."
"Oh my god, I love you too," Sapnap replied.
"I have loved you since we were kids, and I will love you forever," Dream said.
Sapnap's hand was covering his mouth, his eyes starting to water as he looked at Dream with fondness in his eyes.
"I want to live with you forever," Dream was also about to cry. "Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me? Right here, right now, tonight?"
"Yes," Sapnap yelled. "Yes, I wil-"
"Are you still drunk?" Quackity said. "Genuinely Bad, how many drinks did you have last night and probably this morning that you're still drunk."
"I'm not drunk!" Bad yelled defensively.
"Then you're high, because what the hell are you talking about?" George looked at him incredulously.
"That's what happened," Bad insisted.
"No," Karl said. "Dream and Sapnap did not orchestrate a flash mob in the middle of the Strip and get engaged."
"Yeah, come on Bad," Punz scoffed. "I wasn't even there and I knew for a fact that didn't happen."
"It did!" Bad said.
"Bad you were across the street from them, there's no way you could've heard anything," Puffy said.
"Bad, I didn't even see them, I don't think it happened," Skeppy said. "I was literally next to you."
"Wilbur, you were there," Bad exclaimed.
"Sure, but I wasn't recording, I was busy on the phone with Phil," Wilbur said. "Plus, I don't remember what happened at all."
"Morning," Dream greeted, Sapnap walking slowly behind him.
The group turned towards the two of them and stared. No one was sure of what to do, but to their surprise, neither of them was wearing rings on their finger. Dream and Sapnap pulled up a chair and sat down with the group that was suddenly too quiet.
"Okay," Sapnap drawled. "What's up weirdos?"
"Did you get-" Tubbo said. "-get together last night, by any chance?"
"Who?" Dream asked.
"You," Tommy said, pointing at Dream. "And you." He pointed at Sapnap.
"Uh-" Sapnap turned red. "Well I-"
"It's-" Dream muttered, "Okay well-"
"Alright, what happened last night?" Ranboo asked.
Dream and Sapnap were sharing a room, as normal sleeping arrangements go. They were stumbling, the night being one of the longest and craziest nights of their lives. It's also probably that Dream and Sapnap aren't really used to drinking, so the number of drinks they consumed at the speed that they consumed it in was a lot for their body to take it.
"I'm tired," Sapnap whined as he fell into their bed.
No, it wasn't that weird, the fact that they're sleeping in a king-sized bed together. Most of the top suites were just equipped with a king-sized bed, and they didn't really have a problem with that.
"No kidding," Dream said, falling right next to him.
"That was fun earlier," Sapnap said. "The whole Elvis thing."
"It was, wasn't it?" Dream giggled softly.
"I can't believe Elvis said that to me," Sapnap muttered. "We're just pretending to be in love. Don't catch actual feelings."
"Well to be fair, you asked Elvis to marry you," Dream said.
"For the picture," Sapnap laughed. "I thought it would be funny if the picture was me marrying Elvis in front of you, rather than marrying you in front of Elvis."
"It was kinda funny," Though Dream couldn't tell if it was genuinely funny, or if it was just the alcohol still talking.
"Hm," Sapnap hummed sleepily. "If I'm marrying you, it won't be in Vegas and it won't be by Elvis."
"No?" Dream asked.
"No," Sapnap nodded adamantly. "It's gonna be in a church. White wedding and everything."
"Really?" Dream smiled, tilting his head so that he could see Sapnap.
"Yep," Sapnap said confidently. "We'll have flower girls and a ring bearer. We have enough friends to split into groomsmen or groomswomen."
"Sapnap-" Dream laughed.
"We'll have a whole photoshoot and a good caterer. Like a really good caterer, no vegan menu because fuck vegans," Sapnap said and Dream chuckled. "We'll have a first danc-"
"Sapnap," Dream called, placing a hand on Sapnap's face to turn his head so that Sapnap would face him.
"What?" Sapnap muttered, smiling goofily alongside Dream.
"You wanna marry me?" Dream questioned, his stomach fluttering, and his heart exploding with joy.
"Of course I do," Sapnap told him.
"We're not even dating," Dream said incredulously.
"Doesn't matter," Sapnap shrugged. "I love you anyway," Dream cheeks couldn't help burn bright red. "If it makes you feel better though, we can go out on a date."
"Yeah?" Dream hummed softly as he shifted closer to Sapnap.
"The whole date," Sapnap assured him. "Flowers and opening door, expensive wine from a fancy restaurant."
Dream leaned in and pressed a kiss onto Sapnap's lips, their lips melding, moving in sync as the heat grew at the pit of their stomach.
"Sounds perfect," Dream said as he moved away, now sitting on Sapnap's lap.
"I'll make sure it is," Sapnap mumbled as he trailed the kiss down to Dream's collarbone, his teeth-
"Stop, stop, stop-" Tubbo yelled. "Oh god, we weren't asking about that."
"You asked if we got together last night," Sapnap said. "Yeah. Yeah, we kinda did."
"We were asking if you two got married," Ranboo clarified.
"Married?" Dream laughed. "No we didn't get married, why would we get married? We weren't even together."
"Well," Sapnap said. "I think we faked getting engaged so they'd let us into the chapel to take a picture with Elvis. That might've happened."
"So I was right!" Bad yelled. "You did get engaged with the flash mob and got married."
"Bad, what?" Dream exclaimed. "We didn't get engaged with a flash mob, we just- got engaged with a ring pop, went into the chapel, and took some pictures."
"Yeah, I don't think there was a wedding," Sapnap agreed. "Though, to be fair, there is a big chunk of last night that I don't quite remember."
The table sat in a weird mixture of silence and confusion. No one was sure how long they were sat there, trying their hardest to piece together what actually happened last night. There were still quietly pondering over the plate of bacon and waffles when Phil and Jack, the last of their group, came down and joined them on the breakfast table.
"Morning everyone," Jack greeted. "You all look terrible."
"We're trying to figure out what happened last night," Tommy told him.
"Oh, people are forgetting everything huh?" Phil said teasingly. "Even the newlyweds?"
The table froze and turned to Phil, suddenly everyone was staring at him.
"The newlyweds?" Wilbur asked. "Phil, do you know what happened last night?"
"Yeah?" Phil said.
Phil was on the phone with Wilbur, going to meet him before going to the karaoke bar. Though when Phil got to the street where Wilbur was standing, Dream and Sapnap were already going crossing the street to get to the little Elvis chapel.
"What are they doing?" Phil asked Wilbur, who was still in a drunken state that he couldn't really say anything besides shrugging. "Okay, we should go follow them then."
By the time Phil caught up with them, Sapnap and Dream were already inside. There were talking to an Elvis impersonator, one that Phil personally doesn't really think looks like Elvis. Even though they weren't really his kids, not as much as Ranboo, Tubbo, Tommy, Jack, and Wilbur were, Phil still felt that he needed to look after Dream and Sapnap.
Dream and Sapnap were in the middle of taking some pictures when George and Karl showed up at the door.
"How'd you get here?" Phil asked curiously.
"Sapnap texted," Karl said.
George was already halfway into the chapel by now, drunk out of his mind. He approached Sapnap and Dream, even offering to help them take the pictures when he suddenly stopped.
"Karl, we should get married," George yelled, his voice echoing across the chapel.
"Right now?" Karl asked.
"Right now," George confirmed.
"Oh," Wilbur said. "I'll text everyone."
"Wait, okay wait-" Phil tried to stop them, he really did. But despite his best effort, the eldest of the group was also pretty hammered.
"Elvis, you'll marry us right?" George asked.
"Are both of you over 21?" Elvis asked.
"Yeah," Karl nodded seriously.
"Then I sure will," Elvis said.
"Dream you're my best man, Sapnap you're Karl's," George yelled.
"Wait, we have to get everyone," Karl said.
It was a quick text, and within the next 10 minutes, everyone began arriving. Bad and Skeppy were the closest ones to the chapel and arrived first. Bad was crying, sort of. Punz, Puffy and Callahan were next, all three of them leaving the craps table at the same time and got to the chapel. Jack was after that, having taken a walk up and down the strip, being the only one sober in the entire building. Quackity was the last one there, only reading the text after finding his phone, and struggling to find the chapel.
Everyone was seated in their highly intoxicated state, all their eyes glazed over, head slightly swaying. George and Karl were standing at the altar holding each other's hands while Dream and Sapnap standing behind them, each of them holding a red ring pop.
"Alright, alright, alright," Elvis said, in a very classic Elvis manner. "Dearly beloved-"
"Shut up," Karl gasped. "Shut. Up."
"They got married?" Ranboo exclaimed. "Karl and George got married."
"What the fuck," Tubbo cackled the loudest that he could.
George sat back on his chair, his mouth open and closing much like a gaping fish.
"I'm- We're-" George mumbled.
"You got married," Puffy said. "Congratulations."
"I'm pretty sure you can get that annulled," Jack added. "It's the day after."
"Hang on a minute," Tommy interrupted. "Why was Jack invited to the wedding and we weren't?"
"Oh yeah," Ranboo said. "What's up with that?"
"Tommy, they barely let Jack in because he's not 21," Phil explained. "You're not even 18 yet, Tommy."
"So, Phil," Bad piped up. "You're sure the flash mob on the street wasn't Dream proposing to Sapnap, right?"
"Oh my god Bad, give it up," Skeppy said exasperatedly and Phil only laughed.
"I don't know what to-" Quackity snorted his laugh. "Karl and George got married."
"Don't be so cocky Big Q," Phil sneered. "You almost married Wilbur had I not dragged him out of there."
"You what?" Wilbur yelled. "I what?"
"And you didn't stop me?" George asked accusingly.
"They're not even dating," Phil answered defensively, gesturing to Wilbur and Quackity. "At least the two of you were dating."
"Okay, so about that-" Punz suddenly changed the trajectory of the topic since most of them seemed to have brushed over it. "So you two are dating now?" He stared down Sapnap and Dream.
"You are?" Jack gasped.
"Well-" Sapnap stuttered. "Yes? I guess," He looked around until his eyes fell back onto Karl and George. "You're married?"
"You're dating," Karl exclaimed.
At this point, no one on the table knew which news was more surprising, everyone sharing looking at each other in utmost confusion until finally, their eyes fell onto Dream, who had been the only quiet one in the conversation so far. Dream, whose eyes were really fixated on the glass of orange juice that was in front of Punz. He looked up once he felted everyone's gaze on him. He can only sigh at the situation.
"Yeah, we're never coming back to Vegas again," Dream vowed.
Public Safety Announcement: maybe, just don't drink