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"I don't think I've bought new clothes since Boston. Only used ones, here and there," Cookie anxiously said, looking at the sign of the slop shop. King-Lu looked at him with concern, but he didn't notice.
Dark clouds were covering the skies, making the atmosphere around them even more solemn. It wasn't that big of an event for King-Lu, but it was important to Cookie.
"Why are you so scared?" King-Lu asked.
"It's just… it will mean that the new life has begun. And there's no coming back."
"But we're already in San Francisco, Cookie."
"I know, but… I can close my eyes and stop seeing the buildings around me. The air is the same everywhere. Maybe, here it's saltier and doesn't smell of trees that much, but still. But clothes… I will feel them with my skin."
"But isn't it good that the old life is now over?" King-Lu was visibly confused.
"Yes, of course it's good!" Cookie agreed, yet he still didn't look optimistic. "It's just… I'm not sure if there'll be a place for me in this new life."
King-Lu choked on righteous anger.
"We have this life because of you, Cookie! All this is your hard work, your talent, your dreams!"
Cookie just stood, motionless, boring the toes of his boots with his eyes.
"Come on," King-Lu put his encouraging hand on Cookie's shoulder and pushed him slightly towards the shop.
"Good morning," the seamstress smiled as they walked in. She inspected them with a professional look and said, "I think I know what you are looking for."
She turned around to go into the store room but King-Lu stopped her by raising his arm.
"We can actually pay. Don't mind our clothes now, we... have travelled a long way and just arrived."
The seamstress looked at him sceptically, and not without reason: the men were wearing almost the same clothes as always, except for the hand-me-down shirts King-Lu bought in the Oregon port, and Cookie didn't have his thread-bare scarf on.
King-Lu tapped his pocket, and the coins inside dinged.
"Alright then, let me take your measurements, so you won't have to try everything on," the seamstress suggested, still squeamish about their current attire.
Cookie was nervous through the whole process, not knowing where to put his eyes, so it wouldn’t be awkward both for him and the seamstress. The tape was flying in her experienced hands, so measuring didn't take long. But he managed to catch weariness in the woman's wrinkles and silver in her light brown hair.
She's not that old, Cookie thought. She's just the same age as my momma was.
His mother was a seamstress too, and it was probably the same exhaustion, hidden inside but showing just a little around the eyes, that made her end closer.
They bought a pair of pants, a jacket, and two shirts each, and four sets of underwear because the size didn't matter that much with it. King-Lu, being a big enthusiast for useful contacts, also made acquittance with the seamstress.
She packed the clothes into three neat bundles. King-Lu took two of them, leaving the last one to Cookie and went to the exit.
Cookie, however, didn't move away from the counter.
"You can go, I'll just buy some buttons just in case," he answered to King-Lu's questioning look and coughed.
"Have a good day!" the seamstress exclaimed as King-Lu left, now with a genuine smile. "How many buttons will you need, Mr Figowitz?" she asked after the door closed.
"Ten will be enough, Mrs Lewis," Cookie responded simply.
While she was counting the small pieces of metal, Cookie took a deep breath. He opened his mouth to say something, but then decided not to.
"It will be 3 cents," the woman told him.
"Here," Cookie slid three coins over the counter, scooped the buttons, took the bundle and quickly went to the door. At the doorstep, he turned to her and said, with all his warmth, "Thank you."
---
"Oh, Mr Figowitz, wait!” Mrs Lewis shouted after him through the door, “these are dollars, not cents!” but Cookie had already done his best to vanish into the crowd.
“At this rate we will spend all the money before we can earn any new,” King-Lu frowned half-jokingly. “You can’t be trusted, Cookie.”
Cookie didn’t answer. He was lying on the bed in their rented room (much cheaper than a hotel in the long run, but soon they’d have their own hotel, wouldn’t they?) in his new suit, and with eyes closed.
“What do you feel?” King-Lu asked from his new favourite chair.
Cookie hemmed something unintelligible. In a few minutes he sat up, not opening his eyes yet.
“Head doesn’t hurt, that’s good.”
"And what about the new life?"
"Judging by how the fabrics feel on the skin… it's a bit rough now but it'll be softer."
"This is a good sign. And what about your place in it?" King-Lu put all the gentleness he had into this question.
Cookie considered it for a moment.
"I still don't know," he admitted with slight discontent.
“There’s always a place by my side,” that sounded like a joke, but King-Lu was serious.
“It’ll be enough, I think,” Cookie said and smiled. He finally opened his eyes and saw the man right next to him on the bed.
"For the time being," King-Lu stressed.
"Yes, for the time being," Cookie agreed and put his head onto his lover's shoulder.