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Chapter Text

Johanna pulled up to the Trolberg Library, and hurried inside, clutching an old tome beneath her jacket. Hilda was missing, and her only hope was inside the library.

The brunette wandered through the expansive building, which had almost cleared out for the night. She had seen very few patrons, and no employees. As Johanna ventured under impossibly tall bookcases, she began to worry she wouldn't find the person she needed.

"How odd. You are not here for a book?"

A disembodied voice started Johanna, as she let out a small yelp. She franticly looked around, before realizing the voice came from above.

She peered up at the bookcase behind her, and discovered a purple haired woman, wearing a cape with a Walkman around her waist. She was on top of a ladder, and slid down in one smooth motion, refined from years of practice.

"How can I help you?"

The librarian's voice had an accent Johanna couldn't quite place. This must be the witch Hilda had told her about. Johanna pulled out the tome, opened it to the page she found it on, and hurriedly explained her situation.

"You know Hilda and Frida, right? I'm Hilda's mum, and I was looking after the girls while Frida's parents are out of town. They were playing in Hilda's room, but when I went in to check on them, they had vanished, and I found this book opened to that page. Please, just tell me what they were doing."

Johanna knew she sounded desperate, but this strange woman was her best chance at finding Hilda. The librarian skimmed the page, before turning to Johanna.

"This is a spell for beginners, a very simple incantation that's designed to send the caster home. Do you know where Frida lives?"

Johanna nodded. The librarian continued.

"I assume Frida cast the spell, meaning they're most likely there. I'll go with you, it's possible the spell was miscast, and you will need more help."

Johanna hesitated. She barely knew this woman, could she trust her with finding Hilda? They apparently knew each other, and had gone on adventures before, which should be proof enough. Besides, she actually knew about the magic the girls were using, and could probably help if they weren't at Frida's. Johanna nodded. The duo left, and got into Johanna's car. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, before Johanna started talking.

"So, how do you know my daughter?"

Johanna winced. That came out harsher than she intended. She didn't intend to be hostile with this woman she had just met. The librarian didn't seen to notice, or if she did, was kind enough to ignore it, when she responded.

"Oh, they've been visiting frequently for the past year, she and her friends. Wanting this book on curses, or that book on ghosts. They're all very curious."

Johanna chuckled. Those would be books Hilda liked. However, she was more interesting in another aspect of the library, one that Hilda hadn't talked about much.

"Hilda tells me you're a witch, and you got Frida an apprenticeship. How did that happen?"

"The girls helped me retrieve an overdue book from my previous mentor. She saw potential in Frida, and began training her. It's been going well, last I heard."

The librarian smiled at the memory.

"That's nice. I was quite worried about magic, with the Tide Mice incident."

The librarian shook her head.

"That was an- advanced spell. Something most witches don't use, certainly something Hilda shouldn't have been messing with. For the most part, we aren't aggressive. We're more like academics, using magic to learn more about the world, and improve our lives."

The purple haired woman paused, trying to gauge Johanna's reaction. She determined it was acceptable, and continued.

"And this spell Frida cast, it isn't dangerous. Worse case scenario, they end up a few houses down. Don't punish the girls too harshly for not telling you."

Johanna groaned. The idea of punishing her daughter hadn't even occurred to her. It used to be that Hilda didn't need to be punished. Johanna missed how simple life was in the woods. The other woman continued talking, as if the silence was making her nervous.

"You know, one of the best parts of my job is working with kids. I'd like to have some of my own one day."

Johanna perked up at that. She wasn't any good at talking magic or witchcraft, but she did know a lot about being a mum. This woman had really helped her tonight, maybe she could try and return the favor.

"Yeah? Do you have a husband, or a boyfriend who wants kids as well?"

Immediately, Johanna could sense something wrong. Despite being focused on the road, she could tell the already smaller woman was shrinking into her seat, raising her shoulders, and rubbing her arms, like she was preparing to be yelled at, or physically attacked. She was intimidated by something Johanna said, which made her feel awful.  As she struggled to find something to say, the purple haired librarian started talking.

"I don't have a husband, Johanna. Or a boyfriend, or anything of the sort. Truth is, I don't like men, at least not in any romantic way. There is nothing wrong with that."

The declaration was intended to have some edge, but the younger woman just sounded scared. The last sentence sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Johanna was filled with empathy for her.

Johanna had heard of people who liked the same sex, normally in gossip, or in magazines, where it was rarely presented positively. Contrary to most of society, Johanna didn't see a problem with being gay. They weren't hurting anyone, and were just trying to be with who they loved. She could respect that.

But how to properly communicate this to someone she had just met? Heaven's knew she wasn't the most informed on the topic, she didn't want to further alienate, or offend this poor woman. How do you tell someone, in a world of enemies, that you are a friend?

Johanna took a deep breath, and tried her best.

"So, um, what's your name, again?"

This was off to a great start.

"Kaisa," the librarian said, hesitantly.

"Well, Kaisa, I don't know a lot about being gay, but it doesn't bother me. Like everyone else, you're trying to find someone to love. I respect that, and I hope you find what you're looking for."

Johanna gave Kaisa's shoulder a reassuring touch, and offered her a smile. Kaisa smiled back, and visibly relaxed, before she started talking again.

"Right? I don't get why people can't simply not hate what they don't understand, and-"

Kaisa began ranting, to the surprise of Johanna. She had seemed so passive just a few moments before, but now, she was passionately outlining her theories on why she was hated. As the drive continued, Kaisa  gradually cooled down, and began talking more optimistically. Mainly about her experiences growing up, when she realized she liked girls. Johanna enjoyed listening to Kaisa get all these emotions off her chest, and it seemed to help the librarian as well. Maybe it would be good if they became friends.

"- well, anyways, thank you for listening, Johanna. It's nice to know there are supporters in Trolberg."

Kaisa now carried herself lighter, like a massive weight had been removed from her back. Johanna smiled, glad she could help her new friend.

"Well, I'm always available to talk. About your feelings, or whatever. Although, I think we're here..." Johanna trailed off, as she parked on the road near Frida's house.

Chapter Text

"I can't thank you enough for your help tonight, Kaisa."

Johanna was talking to the librarian, who was hanging out in her flat. Normally, Johanna would be somewhat annoyed at someone staying uninvited, but she found herself enjoying Kasia's company. Her new friend was perusing through her bookshelf, and didn't even look up to respond.

"It really wasn't a problem, I'm glad I could help. They're good kids, they just act before thinking sometimes."

Johanna nodded, it felt like Hilda acted on pure instinct most days. Kaisa continued to browse, moving on to a modest collection of records at the base of the bookshelf. Kaisa's actions were a little strange, but Johanna didn't mind. She was just glad to have another adult to talk too. She knew David and Frida's parents, but they weren't really friends. Hopefully Kaisa would be different.

"Finding everything ok? Would you like some tea?" Johanna called out, as the kettle began to hiss. As Kaisa turned around, she seemed to become aware of what she was doing.

"Oh, um, sure, Johanna. Thank you."

As she prepared the tea, Kaisa put up the records and sat down on the couch, hugging a throw pillow close to her. Johanna came in, and handed Kaisa her mug, noticed she seemed embarrassed.

"Everything alright, Kaisa?" Johanna asked, gently.

"Yes, I'm fine. Sorry if I've been acting a bit odd, I haven't been in a proper home in a while. I don't quite know how to behave." The librarian said, with a nervous laugh.

That comment worried Johanna. Was she homeless? She had a job, right?

"What do you mean, dear? Where do you live?" She hoped this wasn't too aggressive, but they had decidedly moved on from light conversation.

"I live in the library, actually. It has a lot of hidden rooms, I keep my things and sleep in one." Kaisa responded with a touch of nervousness, not able to meet Johanna's gaze.

"Don't you work at the library? Shouldn't you be making enough to live in a proper flat?"

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that." Kaisa rubbed one of her arms, like she did earlier in the car. "I don't get paid for my work in the library, it's volunteer work, expected of most witches who are training at the academy. Getting a job and living in a flat doesn't make sense right now."

Despite this explanation, Kaisa was clearly unhappy with her living situation. She gazed at her tea forlornly, as she caressed her arm. Johanna didn't know how to console her. She had her doubts when first starting art school, but never anything this serious.

"Well, if you ever need to get out of the library for a night, feel free to sleep over here. We have the couch, and I know it's not perfect, but it can help to switch things up."

Johanna offered her a smile. She knew all about how frustrating university could be. To her dismay, Kaisa shook her head.

"Thank you for your offer, but I really should be heading back. Maybe another night. This was fun."

The librarian put her mug down, uttered an incantation, and vanished in a flash of light.

Johanna was left with some unfinished tea, a throw pillow, and a strange pang of loneliness.

Johanna was doing the dishes left for her after Hilda and Frida had finished breakfast, and she reached a certain mug a strange woman had used last night. She would say that the mug made her think of Kaisa, but truth was, she had been thinking of her since last night.

Something about that woman fascinated Johanna. Maybe it was the way she discussed magic, or how she looked when she got deep into a conversation. Johanna smiled to herself, as she recalled how Kaisa had blushed when recalling her first girl crush. She looked so cute...

Wait a minute. Johanna froze, realizing the implications of her thought. Did she like girls too?

For a while, Johanna had ruled out any possibility that she had liked girls. After all, she liked guys, which made her straight. Sure, she had questioned this during her high school and university years quite a bit, but always came around to her attraction to men to rule out any attraction to women. After all, she couldn't like both, right? That's not how this works.

Right?

Johanna's rambling inner monologue was interrupted by a certain blue haired girl at her side.

"Mum? Are you alright?"

Hilda was tugging on her shirt, and looked concerned.

"Yes, sorry dear, I must have spaced out for a minute. What do you want to tell me?"

Hilda let go of her top, although she still looked a little worried.

"Well, since Frida got her spell right, she wants to pick up some more magic books. Could you take us to the library?"

That was a bit strange, Hilda didn't normally ask her mum to take her. But, if she wanted to spend time with Johanna, she wouldn't say no.

"I'd love to! Go get ready, we'll leave when I finish up here."

Hilda hugged her mum, and left with a thank you and a smile.

"I'll be sitting over here, come back when you're done, ok girls?"

Hilda and Frida nodded, before running deeper into the library. Her parents should be back this afternoon,  they could go back to the flat after this little outing.

Johanna took out a book she had been trying to get into, and found, much to her frustration, she was unable to focus on it. Not because the book was boring - well, it was - but because her mind kept drifting, and coming back to a certain purple haired woman - part time librarian, part time witch.

Did she have a crush on Kaisa?

The question felt preposterous, and simultaneously very plausible. She certainly thought Kaisa was pretty, and cute, oh and she absolutely loved how she talked. Maybe she hadn't known her long enough to tell? All Johanna knew for certain, was that she wanted a relationship with the librarian. She didn't know much outside of that. Friends is a good place to start, Johanna thought, resolving to spend more time with Kaisa.

Johanna tucked her book under her shoulder, and began searching for Kaisa. You'd think someone with purple hair would be easier to find, she thought to herself.

It had been about half an hour since she arrived at the library, and Johanna had given up on finding Kaisa. She was trying to force herself through the first chapter of *Ender's Game,* just to stop thinking of her.

She forgot how anxious her brain could be when she had a crush - or anyone crush-adjacent. While she was looking for Kaisa, she could have sworn she saw a flash of purple here or there, as someone darted behind a bookcase, just out of sight. She just hoped it wasn't Kaisa, trying to avoid her. She enjoying spending time with Kaisa so much, it would be heartbreaking if she didn't feel the same. 

The girls returned, chatting about what new books Frida had gotten, and they all went to check out. Johanna was aware of them talking, but she was too wrapped up in her mind to give them much thought.  It was entirely possible Kaisa wasn't working today, or that she was just in another section, but her brain automatically assumed the worst. She just wanted to talk to Kaisa, the mysterious woman who had dominated her thoughts all this morning.

"Johanna?"

All of a sudden, there she was. The purple haired witch stood a few meters away from Johanna, wheeling a set of books to be reshelved. Headphones were hanging around her neck, and a look of shock was on her face.

"Hi Kaisa!" Hilda said, as she and Frida waved. Kaisa hesitantly returned the gesture, before reaching into her pocket, and pulling out a scrap of paper, while approaching the girls.

"I wanted to give this to you last night, but I couldn't find the right time, and then I left to go home without thinking, so..."

Kaisa was now standing close to Johanna, and was unable to meet her gaze. Hesitantly, she offered her the paper. Johanna took it, noticing a small blush gracing the librarian's cheeks.

"It's my phone number. You can call if you have any questions about magic, or the library, or if you just want to talk or something." She murmured.

As Johanna examined the number, the librarian quickly turned around, putting on her headphones and taking her cart, like she was embarrassed.

Johanna wanted to run to her, and let her know she wasn't being weird, or stupid, but had really grown on her.

But Kaisa wouldn't want that. She had given Johanna a way to contact her, a way she wanted to talk to her. It was a start. She had a way to become proper friends with her, and to form a relationship, no matter what kind.

She smiled to herself, and held the paper tightly.

Chapter Text

It had been about a month since that fateful night where Frida performed a transportation spell, and Johanna had grown incredibly close to Kaisa. They called almost everyday, and Johanna would visit her at the library, where they could read in each other's company.

It occurred to Johanna that she had never dated anyone who was happy to just spend time with her like that. She wasn't dating Kaisa, of course, but she kind of wanted to? Johanna's feelings for the witch were somewhat confused, to put it lightly. During her library visits, she found herself stealing glances at Kaisa, who looked adorable when she was focused on reading. The way she narrowed her eyes, and bit her lip in concentration - it gave Johanna butterflies, the kind she hadn't felt since her university days.

These feelings were somewhat exciting, but mostly just made Johanna nervous. It almost felt silly, considering what she had been through - she had faced wild animals and mountain trolls, but a purple haired librarian is what turned her legs to jelly?

However, Kaisa had not called or visited Johanna for five days. She had exams, and would be receiving her final grades of the semester. She just needed time to focus and study. Johanna understood, but it didn't stop her from missing the witch terribly. She hadn't realized it until now, but she had grown very dependent on her conversations with the witch.

She was doodling at her desk when the phone rang. She didn't run, but she certainly moved faster than she normally did for a phone call, almost tripping over the coffee table.

"Kaisa? Is that you? How were finals?"

Johanna silently cringed, realizing how that sounded. She just assumed the caller was Kaisa, was she really that clingy? Snuffling came through the receiver, cutting through Johanna's train of thought.

"Hey, Johanna. I'm sorry, can I come over? Something happened."

That was definitely Kaisa, although her voice was scratchy, like she had been crying. Johanna felt a protective urge sweep over her.

"Of course dear. What do you need?"

There was a pause.

"I'll tell you more later. Thanks Jo."

Click

Johanna opened the door, shocked at how much her friend had changed over the course of a few days.

Kaisa had bags under her eyes, which were red and puffy. Mascara left trails down her face, Johanna didn't even know she wore makeup. She clutched a piece of paper in her hands, knuckles white, as if it was killing her, and yet she couldn't let go.

Johanna guided her to the couch, not saying a word. She was clearly in a very delicate place, and needed unconditional support. When they were both settled, Johanna carefully placed an arm around Kaisa. After a moment, she placed her head on the older woman's shoulder, and Johanna felt the tension drain from her body. She did her best to ignore the beating of her heart.

The couple sat like this for a while, Johanna comforting the other woman. Eventually, Kaisa offered her the paper.

It was written in a language Johanna didn't understand (Latin, maybe?), but she got the gist. It appeared to be some sort of witch report card, with grades color coded. Out of nine different subjects, Kaisa had one yellow-green, two yellow, one orange, and five reds, the color of dried blood.

"Oh, Kaisa," Johanna murmured, and brought her into a hug. Kaisa held tightly to Johanna, trying to find some security, or comfort. Johanna was happy to provide, as her heart threatened to leap out of her chest.

Johanna pulled away from her, only enough so they could see each other, face to face. This only made Johanna feel worse for her. Now that she could see her up close, it was clear she hadn't showered in a while.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kaisa shook her head. Johanna nodded.

"That's alright. I think we should get you cleaned up, ok?"

Kaisa nodded, reluctantly, her head drooping. Johanna gently cupped her chin, and guided her back into her gaze.

"First, we're going to clean off your face, get all that makeup off. Then, you can take a shower, and I'll let you borrow some of my clothes. Do you want to spend the night?"

Kaisa nodded.

"Then I'll give you some pajamas. Do you need help getting cleaned up?"

Kaisa shook her head, pulling away from Johanna and standing up, in agreement.

"Leave the clothes you pick for me outside of the bathroom, please. Thank you, Johanna."

She left, and Johanna sighed. She had never dealt with anyone this depressed, and she couldn't tell if she was helping. Dinner was soon, she hoped the pie she had prepared was big enough for three people.

"She's doing what?"

Hilda exclaimed in disbelief. Johanna was on her knees, talking to the bluenette about their guest.

"She's spending the night with us. I understand this is a lot to spring on you, but this woman is in a bad place, Hilda. I expect you to be nice to her."

Hilda nodded. She still seemed confused, and Johanna acknowledged she had probably done a poor job of explaining depression to her eleven year old. She probably didn't need too, Hilda had promised to be kind to Kaisa, that was all that's important. As Johanna stood up, Kaisa entered the living room.

She looked marginally better than she had before, although that wasn't a high bar to clear. Her face was clear now, but her bloodshot eyes and bags still remained. She wore an old nightgown, from back when Johanna still liked skirts. Even though it was old, it was still a tad too big for her. She still looked tired, but she didn't look quite as miserable anymore. Johanna smiled, and thought she looked beautiful.

"Kaisa!" Hilda called out, as she ran over and hugged her legs. The witch stumbled in surprise, but nevertheless smiled, and gave Hilda a pat on the head.

Dinner was pleasant, although Kaisa didn't talk a lot. Hilda took it upon herself to monopolize the conversation, recounting a wild adventure she and David went on earlier that day. Kaisa was surprisingly engaged, even interjecting with questions every so often. The witch had confessed she didn't like talking with kids, but it seemed Hilda and her friends had become somewhat of an exception.

After dinner, Hilda went to her room, and the adults found themselves watching the news. Johanna normally watched the news after dinner, and while it was nice to have someone else with her, she was worried about the conversation that was yet to come.

Johanna took a long time, preparing what she wanted to say, and how she wanted to say it. After her favorite segment ended, she shut down the TV, and turned to face Kaisa. She could see her tense up, something she did a lot, unfortunately. Johanna cleared her throat.

"Are you ready to talk?"

Kaisa clutched her mug of tea, and nodded. After she gathered her thoughts, she looked into the older woman's eyes.

"I got bad marks on most of my finals, and failed most of my classes. I can't do anything to improve my grade, and I failed too many to make up over break. I'll have to retake this year."

Kaisa had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, which she pulled tighter.

"I feel like such a failure. The information they're trying to teach me... it feels incompatible with how I think. I can only stand so much of lectures, and textbook assignments, before I stop learning. Even if I force myself, I can't learn anything after a certain point."

Kaisa's voice was dull, and monotone. Her eyes dropped to the floor. Johanna knew this mood, she had seen it in her friends, and even fallen victim to it herself a few times. This cyclical pattern of self-hate, thinking that you're not good enough, and having this suspicion confirmed by poor marks. She knew there wasn't a lot she could say or do to help, but getting some sleep would be a good start.

"Kaisa, when was the last time you slept?"

It took her a long moment to figure this out.

"Three, maybe four days ago? Why?"

"Well, the way I see it, you're not thinking straight. I stop making sense when I stay up past eleven, let alone three straight days. How about you get some rest, and we can talk tomorrow?"

Kaisa nodded, placing her mug on the coffee table. Johanna stood to leave, and Kaisa laid herself across the couch, resting her head on a throw pillow, and bringing her blanket in tight. Johanna left the hall light on, as she went to her own bedroom. As she changed into her pajamas, she thought of Kaisa, hoping that sleep would help clear her mind, and make her life seem more hopeful.

"Johanna? Johanna?"

The woman awoke to someone shaking her. She assumed it was Hilda, but then she noticed the accent.

The librarian was standing over her bed, silhouetted by light from the hallway

"What's going on, Kaisa? Are you alright?"

Kaisa was standing in her room, holding a pillow. Once again, she couldn't meet Johanna's gaze.

"Well, yes, all things considered. I was just wondering - could I sleep with you tonight?"

Johanna's heart skipped a beat. When she was little, she remembered sleeping in the same bed with her friends at sleepovers, but this was different. She had possible romantic feelings for Kaisa, and she hoped she wouldn't make it awkward between them. After all, they were just two friends, sharing a bed. Two very good friends, but friends nonetheless. 

"Of course, dear."

She sat up, and moved over, lifting the covers and inviting Kaisa to join her. It was hard to tell in the muted light, but Kaisa's movements seemed very stilted.

The bed was king sized, and they both fit comfortably, with plenty of space between. As Kaisa settled in, Johanna's thoughts began swarming.

What she wanted to do, most of all, was to reach over and hold Kaisa. Just give her a nice cuddle, and help her forget about university and marks. She didn't miss a lot about dating in her early 20's, but she did enjoy the cuddling that often came with it.

"Johanna? Could you please hold me?"

The older woman froze, her mind stopped thinking. Did Kaisa have the ability to read her mind? Or did she simply want that comfort? Johanna was still a bit nervous around her, but decided she should try. This was something she wanted as well, and if it would help Kaisa too, she couldn't refuse.

"Yeah, of course,"

Upon hearing this, Kaisa turned around, and moved towards Johanna. She put her arms around Kaisa, sinking into her. She was much shorter than Johanna, and her head nestled into the taller woman's chest. For some reason, Johanna expected Kaisa's face to feel cold, but it didn't. If anything, it was warm and smooth, very welcome against her skin.

Johanna was suddenly filled with a strange sensation. She had cuddled before, even in this exact position, but for the first time, she was being the dominant one. It was a new feeling, but not at all unpleasant. Trying to make Kaisa feel better was very fulfilling.

After a moments hesitation, she decided to start rubbing Kaisa's back, in a circular motion. She did this with Hilda occasionally, and it seemed to comfort her. After a few seconds of her massage, Johanna felt Kaisa jolt. This startled her, and even worse - she heard Kaisa was crying.

This wasn't like earlier, when she had shed a few tears on the couch, or over the phone. Kaisa was violently shaking, and holding onto Johanna, as harsh sobs forced their way out of her mouth.

Johanna began stroking her hair, not knowing exactly how to reassure her.

"It's ok, sweetie."

Kaisa continued to bawl into Johanna's top.

"It's alright, I've got you."

Johanna couldn't think of anything else to say, and decided to hum instead. Maybe it was the song, or feeling the vibrations through her skin, but it seemed to calm Kaisa down. She stopped crying, and eventually, Johanna could feel her breathing slow. She was asleep, and Johanna stole a glance at her face.

Eyes closed, she looked so peaceful. When she was awake, her eyes were always shifting focus. Trying to see take in new information, or avoiding having to look directly at someone. Johanna had never met someone like that, and she found it very endearing. Kaisa had such beautiful eyes.

That was Johanna's last thought before falling asleep. She had forgotten how easy it was to pass out while cuddling.

Chapter Text

The sun streamed through a window, and woke up a brunette mother of one. Johanna attempted to stretch, but was stopped by a weight on her arm, and she suddenly remembered what had happened last night.

A young, pale woman with short purple hair was hugging her right arm. She could have sworn they fell asleep holding each other, but perhaps Kaisa got uncomfortable, and decided to change positions. The older woman put her desire to stretch aside, and instead decided to admire the face of her crush, reaching over to tuck an errand strand of hair behind her ear.

This moment was something Johanna had wanted for a long time; she just hadn't realized it until now. How much she wanted someone to wake up next too. How much she wanted someone to love, and take care of. She had an absolutely massive crush on this girl, and she wanted to wake up like this every morning for the rest of her life.

That's when Kaisa's eyes started twitching, and it occurred to Johanna she was being just a little creepy. She quickly turned to the ceiling, and closed her eyes, as she felt Kaisa begin to stir.

The younger woman removed her grasp, and Johanna could hear her yawning as she stretched. She took this opportunity to open her eyes, and stretch herself. When she turned to face Kaisa, she was already looking at her, with a small smile on her face. She threw herself forward, and hugged Johanna's midsection, catching her by surprise.

"Thank you for last night, Johanna. It's been so long since I had someone hold me, and comfort me like that. Thank you."

Johanna hoped the witch couldn't see the blush rising to her face, as the thought she's so cute she's so cute echoed in her head. She slowly placed her hand on Kaisa's hair, and began stroking it. Kaisa hummed in approval, and began to hold her even tighter.

This would be the perfect time to ask her, a little voice whispered. She dismissed it, but then considered - why not? Kaisa was clearly of sound mind after her rest, and she looked so cozy, curled up like this. They practically talked enough to be an actual couple, and she loved spending time with her - what the hell.

"Kaisa, I have a question for you."

The witch looked up, with a quizzical expression. She looked. So. Cute. Johanna had never asked anyone out before, and she finally understood what made it so hard. Unable to meet her gaze, she instead began to look at her top.

"So we've been friends for about a month, and in that time, you've made me a very happy person. We talk a lot, and I really enjoy spending time with you."

She paused, and took a moment to steel her nerve.

"I guess what I'm trying to ask, do you want to go out with me?"

A big smile crept across Kaisa's face, as she hugged Johanna tightly, and buried her face in her neck.

"Yes, I'd love too."

Johanna let out a small laugh of relief, as she returned the hug. The couple stayed in that position, holding each other, until Johanna's stomach let out a large growl. She heard Kaisa laugh, and decided to ignore it.

"How about we go get some breakfast?"

Johanna was cooking eggs, while Kaisa set the table. Johanna was reflecting on how it felt to be dating again, and more importantly, dating a girl. She hadn't dated anyone for years, mainly because she was living with a small child away from civilization. But those had both changed. She had moved to Trolberg, and Hilda was growing up.

That was another concern, however. How would she tell Hilda that her mum was dating again, and dating a woman, no less? She had never told her daughter what it was to be gay, which may been a mistake.

Speaking of - was she gay? Simply raising the question opened a Pandora's box of emotions, which threatened to overwhelm her. It seemed impossible to sort her attraction into one of two categories. Gay or straight, neither seemed to accurately describe who she was. Perhaps Kaisa would be able to help.

Speaking of, the witch had finished her task, and had surprised Johanna with a hug from behind. She found herself blushing, as Kaisa kissed the base of her neck. Johanna turned off the stove, before turning around to face the younger woman, and planted a kiss on her forehead.

It was a rather small act of affection. She had even given Hilda kisses like this before. But something about doing it to someone else, someone older, and someone she liked in a very different way - made it feel different. More passionate, more intense. Not bad by any means, but certainly unfamiliar.

As she pulled back, Johanna looked down, into Kaisa's eyes. She was blushing, and had an expression of pure bliss. That just made Johanna want to kiss her more. As she peppered her face with kisses, she heard Kaisa giggle, and was filled with a sense of contentment stronger than she had felt in years.

Chapter Text

Johanna stood in front of her full length mirror, admiring how she looked. She was wearing her brown suit, the first suit she had gotten after she decided she no longer liked skirts. She hadn't worn it in ages, and although it felt a little tight, it reminded her of when she was young.

"So, where are you going again, mum? Why are you so dressed up?"

Hilda and Alfur were sitting on her bed, watching her get ready. Johanna was sure she had already explained where she was going, and didn't rule out the possibility she was being teased.

"I told you before, Hilda. I'm going on a date."

Johanna moved over to her jewelry case, content with how her suit looked. She heard a low "ooooooo" sound from Hilda and Alfur, when the elf decided to pose a question.

"Are you bringing the correct paperwork?"

She wasn't bringing any paperwork, but decided to continue this conversation, hopeful Hilda would forget to ask for the identity of her date.

"What paperwork do I need for a first date?"

Even though she couldn't see him, she could picture Alfur standing up and gesturing wildly with his hands, as he did when he was passionate about something. She struggled to insert her earrings, concerned that the piercing was closed.

"Well you see Johanna, it is customary in elf culture to bring paperwork of your choosing on a first date. It could be anything, from your job, to your house deed, even your birth certificate! But the goal is to convey what about your life you find important. The best first dates are almost entirely spent reading each other's documents!"

She abandoned the earrings, and decided to find a necklace instead. She was only half listening, and gave a meager response.

"And that works?"

"Of course it does! You could realistically accomplish the same thing by talking, but this way, no details are left out, and nothing can be misinterpreted. You see the person as how they are, without any editorials or exaggerated details!"

Johanna had found a necklace she liked. Her makeup was done, her outfit was put together, and she had one last thing to do.

"Are you ready to go to David's, Hilda?"

Johanna nervously waited, watching the kitchen clock. A minute past six. They scheduled the date for six. A pot of buttered noodles sat on the stove, and Johanna began pacing, looking for an open bag of Jorts. She had no reason to be this nervous, and Kaisa wasn't late, at least not yet. 

She couldn't deny - even the idea of the librarian made her stomach fill with butterflies. She thought she had gotten over this before, shortly after they became friends, but now her feelings had come back tenfold. 

The doorbell rang, and Johanna felt her heart speed up, and she was almost certain her face was getting hotter. As she went to answer the door, her brain began moving faster, as it ran through all the reasons this date might fail. She shushed it, opening the door, and almost let her mouth drop.

Kaisa was wearing a beautiful, long dress, with a black to purple gradient from her neckline to the end of her train. She carried a small blue wallet, and had her hair up in a little bun. She had a lavender shade of lipstick, and a bit of mascara, as she gazed bashfully at the floor.

Johanna felt her lungs deflate as she admired her date, and she was convinced she had found the most beautiful girl in the world. Kaisa was already very pretty, but this - this brought her up to another level.

"May I come in?"

Dinner was nothing special - just buttered noodles - but Kaisa seemed to like it a lot. The couple shared a wonderful conversation as well, and Johanna had caught herself staring at the librarian as she lost herself in thought. They were now eating pudding Kaisa had brought, and watching TV. There was a new episode of Inspector Spacetime Kaisa wanted to see. Johanna had never seen the show, although Kaisa was happy to answer her questions.

"So who are they fighting here?"

"The Blorgons. A race of mutant space cyborgs intent on wiping out humanity."

Johanna wrinkled her brow, pondering how the Blorgons used stairs. Kaisa turned back to her, looking concerned.

"We can change it if you want, I just -"

Johanna shook her head.

"That's ok, dear. I just like spending time with you."

Kaisa's face softened into a warm smile. 

"Although, there is something I'd like."

The librarian tilted her head in confusion. 

"Would you like to cuddle with me?" Johanna said, opening her arms.

Kaisa's face lit up, and she instantly threw herself onto the couch, accepting Johanna's embrace. The older woman quietly laughed, pulling her close. Kaisa began to move soon, and with a little effort, they both found a position to be comfortable in. Kaisa leaned against Johanna, who in turn wrapped an arm around the younger woman's shoulder, holding her close.

Johanna threw a blanket over them, and she figured this was the most comfortable she had ever been. It still felt a little strange to be the dominant one cuddling, but so far, she had really enjoyed it. Kaisa had this indescribable quality that filled Johnna with an urge to make her feel safe and cozy. It felt good to fulfil her romantic partner’s needs like this. She leaned in closer to Kaisa, pecking her head, and giving her shoulder a quick rub.

As the night went on, neither woman made a move to leave, and so they found themselves cuddling on the couch long after dark. Inspector Spacetime had ended hours ago, their pudding bowls sat on the coffee table, and the couple found themselves deep in conversation.

"Do you want to go back to University after break?"

Johanna hoped that question wasn't too accusatory, but she was curious, and wanted to know more about what Kaisa was thinking. The librarian shook her head.

"I think I've gotten all I can from that school. I don't want a career in magic, I've known that for long enough. It's just -"

She let out a frustrated sigh.

"Do you ever feel like you've put too much work into something to quit, because if you do, it'll be like you've wasted your time?"

Johanna nodded. She experienced this a lot with her art projects, although those couldn't compare to however many years Kaisa had spent on her studies. She thought carefully about her response.

"I think that, as long as you learned something, then you didn't waste your time. You clearly learned a lot about magic, and you learned that you don't like it. And besides-"

She turned to look into Kaisa's eyes.

"You're still so young, you have plenty of time to find something you enjoy. Besides magic, what sounds interesting to you?"

Kaisa looked away, and started playing with the blanket, slowly kneading it in her hands. She quietly murmured something, and Johanna had her repeat it.

"Music. I'd like to be a musician."

"Oh."

Johanna didn't mean to sound unsupportive, but she was a little surprised. She had assumed Kaisa would want to be a writer, but perhaps working in the library was more of an obligation than something she was interested in.

"Can you play an instrument?"

Kaisa shrugged.

"Kind of? Let me show you."

She took out her handbag, and pulled out a small device, which could not have possibly fit inside. It almost looked like a small piano, but made of metal instead of wood. It had many knobs and buttons, which Kaisa fidgeted with. She then took the attached stylus, and began pressing it against the metal bar, where keys on a piano would be.

It sounded very unique to say the least. Johanna had used the computers at the library a few times, and the sounds they made were somewhat similar. The device produced a very rough, electric sound, although she could still make out distinct notes and keys.

Kaisa played a bit sporadically, jumping between chords, bits of songs, and various jingles. It was clear she couldn't play one full length song, but she seemed to enjoy herself regardless. When she finished, Johanna gave her a smile, and began clapping. Kaisa simply blushed, and leaned closer into Johanna, who wrapped both her arms around her.

Kaisa felt like a butterfly. Fragile, yet very beautiful. Kaisa turned to look into her eyes, and Johanna could feel her heart beat faster, and her body get more restless. She brought up a hand to hold Kaisa's face, and as she leaned into it, the older woman asked - 

"Can I kiss you?"

Kaisa nodded, slowly moving closer to her face, and closing her eyes. Johanna carefully readjusted her face, leaned in, and connected their lips.

Whatever feelings she had when she had kissed Kaisa's face a few days ago - they were back, and multiplied by a thousand. She hadn't felt this hot, or this aroused in so long. As they kissed again and again, Kaisa fell backwards, and with Johanna on top of her, she let passion take hold. As it got more intense, Johanna's mind swarmed with dirty, hedonistic thoughts entirely new to her. Fantasies of dominating Kaisa, of making her submit, raged around her head like a hurricane. 

She couldn't tell how much time had passed - it could have been seconds or hours - but these new thoughts and feelings threatened to overwhelm her, and she pushed herself away from Kaisa, sitting upright.

While she struggled to catch her breath, she checked on her partner. Kaisa's hair was a mess, and her face was beet red, dotted with sweat. She was trying to catch her breath as well, sitting up next to Johanna.

"Did you like it?" Johanna asked.

"Yes, I think it was just a little -"

"Intense?" 

She laughed. It sounded beautiful, and made the flat feel brighter.

"It was like staring into the sun. You're a wonderful kisser."

Kaisa pulled herself into a hug with her partner, which Johanna eagerly returned. She began playing with Kaisa's hair, and slowly humming. It became clear after a few minutes that she had no intention of leaving, and so Johanna slowly laid down on the couch, covering both of them with the blanket.

This position was similar to their first night together. Kaisa wasn't too heavy, and she felt almost like a weighted blanket. A warm, breathing weighted blanket. Johanna began rubbing her partner’s back, relishing in her warmth. She thought back to their make out session, and tried to sort through the complicated feelings it had given her. 

Everything about being the dominant one in a relationship was completely new to her, although she found herself enjoying it, almost too much. She had liked leading the kiss, and setting the tempo for when they were making out.

That being said, there was still so much she needed to learn about lesbian relationships. Kaisa was very apprehensive about going out in public together, and Johanna was concerned this relationship would affect other parts of her life, or even worse, her daughters. 

She had never understood homophobia, even before she knew she liked girls. The idea of bullying people, of hating them just for who they were never sat right with her. Now that she was in one of these relationships, she opposed the concept even more. As she admired Kaisa's face, beautiful as ever when she was asleep, she questioned how anyone could be against this. This blossoming relationship she had found herself in was filled with love and happiness, the same as any other romance. 

As Johanna pondered about the nature of homosexuality, her mind began to dose off, eventually succumbing to a wonderful dream about a certain purple haired librarian.

Chapter Text

It was late at night, and Trolberg had gone to sleep. While the rock trolls roamed the woods, the residents of the city were safe, indoors and behind their walls. In a certain flat, two women lay on a couch, cuddling each other.

They both appeared content, until one of them, the smaller of the two, started twitching. These twitches grew in intensity, as she struggled in the other woman's embrace. When it seemed she would fall off the couch, she jolted awake, taking in a deep breath, eyes wide and heart racing.

Kaisa was trying to calm herself. This nightmare wasn't new, but it still thoroughly scared her, and it didn't help that she was in a new location. She had gotten very used to her nook in the library.

The librarian looked at Johanna, and realized this was the first time she had seen her sleeping. Her fear was partially replaced with comfort, as she studied her partner's face. She even contemplated waking her up, realizing she could finally tell someone about her dreams.

At first she dismissed the idea - Johanna had been wonderful to her, dismissing all of her weird quirks, and seemed just to like her as she is. There were so many times Kaisa had been sure she had blown it. Her record obsession that first night, or when she couldn't look her in the eyes, or when she had asked for cuddles. But Johanna had taken all of these in stride. Kaisa decided to wake her. If she wasn't scared off by now, this wouldn't do anything.

"Johanna? Johanna!"

The librarian shook her partner, whispering her name. Unsurprisingly, this had little effect. Kaisa began whispering louder, and shaking her harder, until she awoke. Johanna was groggy at first, wiping the sleep from her eyes, but focused quickly when she saw how distraught her partner was.

"Are you alright, dear?" She brought her arms back around Kaisa, sitting up and bringing her close. She shook her head, wiping her eyes.

"I had a nightmare..."

Kaisa looked down, half expecting Johanna to be frustrated and turn her away. Instead, Kaisa felt herself being pulled into Johanna's chest, just below her head. She felt Johanna begin to stroke her hair.

"It's ok sweetheart, I've got you."

Her voice conveyed no irritation, only concern. Kaisa leaned into it, feeling safe in her arms. As if Johanna could protect her from the spectres of her dreams.

"Do you remember what it was about?"

The question harbored no malice, only curiosity.

"No."

Kaisa lied. She had seen this nightmare many times before, and was worried it would never go away. Images of her parents, the sounds of their screams, and the feeling of being ignorant and impulsive were present. The nightmare was a twisted version of the night she left home, or rather, the night she was forced to leave.

It was cold, near the end of Autumn. She had gone for a walk, pondering how to tell her parents. She had been so optimistic, so hopeful that her parents would accept her with a wife instead of a husband.

Kaisa didn't even remember exactly what happened. She had told them rather clumsily, but was hopeful they would respond in kind. Her stomach filled with dread as they exchanged concerned glances. The room filled with tension, broken by her mother, who lightly suggested this was a phase. Kaisa felt as if she had been slapped, and carefully elaborated on what she had said. Her father echoed the sentiment, although firmer.

The conversation continued to escalate, turning into a shouting match. Kaisa remembered running to her room while her father called her diseased and filthy, saying he didn't raise a whore. In her dream, they followed her, their chants and insults growing louder, drowning out her thoughts and pummeling her mind until she woke up.

In real life, things went differently. She remembered crying a lot. Sitting on her bed, and cuddling a pillow, her mind in a dark place. She didn't come down for dinner.

Sometime during the night, she made the decision to run away. She gathered her clothes, a few books she liked, her toy instrument, and whatever other possessions could fit in her bag. During the cover of darkness, she left her family, not looking back. Kaisa was 16 years old.

She traveled west, no destination in mind. She eventually landed in Trolberg, where a kind, older woman brought her in. She was presented with the option to study and become a witch, and seeing no better option, she accepted.

Training to be a witch led to her meeting Johanna, and their relationship formed after, leading to Kaisa being comforted after a bad dream. This was her story, she would tell it to Johanna one day, but for now, she was content with how far she'd come.

Her parents had called her a pervert, a sexual deviant that preyed on vulnerable women. To think she had almost believed them, Kaisa thought, as she leaned deeper into her partner. Although she didn’t doubt this relationship would bring its fair share of struggles, she felt peaceful, and decided she would try her best to make it work. Normally after her nightmares, her mind was plagued with self doubt and anxiety, but now, she could push those feelings aside, as she let the rhythmic breathing of her partner lull her back to sleep.