Chapter Text
Billy, for the life of him, cannot stop kissing Cole.
He’s sure they’ve only been in this small room together for minutes, but it feels like hours that they’ve been sitting there on the floor, heads turned and lips locked together, Cole’s hand caressing Billy’s cheek while Billy keeps his arm around Cole’s shoulders. They’re lost in their own little world, where it’s only them and there’s not the fear of someone walking in.
Because what they’re doing is unnatural. It’s against the law, in fact. Two boys can’t have a future together. Them liking each other is wrong.
But it doesn’t feel wrong. Quite the opposite, actually. It feels so right that Billy doesn’t want it to end anytime soon. He’ll risk it, even if it’s only for a moment.
Eventually, they both need to break away for air, but through that, Billy can’t help but smile, because this went better than he thought it would. He feared he’d get rejected and Cole would think he’s so much of a freak that he’d never want to see him again, but instead, Cole seems to return his feelings. He was kissing him back, and he seemed to enjoy it.
And besides, the way Cole’s smiling right now tells Billy everything he needs to know, Cole likes him back, as strange as it is.
“I didn’t know you liked boys.” Cole says after a moment, but it sounds more like a question instead of just a simple statement. And in a way, it is.
Whenever Billy’s friends would talk about girls, which one they think is the prettiest and things like that, Billy would have to make up something to say, because he wasn’t that into him. Sure, he found them attractive, but he didn’t want to be with them. He knows he’s supposed to be, his father always goes on about how he needs to start looking for a woman to marry, but he never really was. He doesn’t want to marry a girl.
As for boys, Billy’s never really thought about that either, not until he realized what he felt for Cole was more than just friendship. Billy doesn’t know if he does like boys, honestly. He wants to say he likes both, but he’s not even sure if that’s a thing or not. It sounds absurd, but then again, so is him having feelings for Cole.
“I don’t.” Is how Billy responds, but he cringes when he sees Cole’s smile fade, taking that the wrong way. “I just like you.” Billy quickly adds, internally sighing in relief when Cole’s smile reappears. (He swears that’s the best thing he’s ever seen.)
“Well, I like you too.” Cole leans in and kisses Billy again, not bothering to hide his excitement. The kiss is still soft, though, because they really couldn’t imagine it any other way.
Billy kisses back, grinning against Cole’s lips. And, wow, this was better than he ever imagined. He didn’t know kissing was more than just lips, it felt like fireworks, it made his heart speed up and his mind slow down. This was real, and it was right.
“I cannot believe this is happening.” Cole breaks the kiss again to say that, wrapping his arms loosely around Billy’s neck. The angle isn’t the best and it’s even slightly uncomfortable, but neither of them seemed to mind all that much.
“Me either.” Billy lightly laughs, because true, before now he would’ve never pictured himself falling for and kissing Cole Mackenzie of all people. The thought was ridiculous. But oh, how things can change. “But I’m glad it is.” And that’s the truth. Billy’s glad that this is happening. No more hiding his feelings and covering them up by being a bully. With Cole, he feels free.
“Really?” Cole slightly blushes, but doesn’t break eye contact, since he’s so confident. He seems to be blushing because of how flattering Billy’s words are. Since yes, Billy’s been nicer to him and Cole would consider him a close friend, but this is another level, that he likes being on.
Never in a million years would Cole think that Billy would feel this way about him, and never in a million years would Cole imagine that Billy would be happy about it. That is, if he truly is, and if he isn’t just sweet-talking him.
But, he isn’t, because Billy answers Cole by kissing him again.
Just then, the door swings open, and Billy and Cole instantly separate, moving as far away as possible, scared of being caught and causing a scandal. That wouldn’t be good, for either of them.
Luckily, it was just Jane. Her catching them would (possibly) be a lot better than one of the boys or Josie or well, mostly everyone else at the school. Still, Billy hopes she didn’t see them, because he has no idea what she’d think about this.
“Hey guys!” Jane exclaims, enthusiastic over god knows what. Her face quickly forms into a look of confusion, though, about why Billy and Cole jumped apart so fast when she came in. “What are you two doing?” She asks, slightly tilting her head to the side. Billy and Cole both turn a shade of red out of embarrassment, awkwardly glancing at each other and then elsewhere, and then back to Jane.
Billy’s relieved that she didn’t see them together, because he knows what would happen to him if this got out. His family would disown him (he doesn’t even want to think about what his father would do) and he’d be the laughing stock of the town, and that’s only putting it lightly.
He doesn’t regret telling Cole how he feels, though. On top of getting to kiss him, he also got to be honest about his feelings, he didn’t have to deny them anymore. He could do what he really wanted for once.
“Nothing. Don’t you knock?” Billy pretends to be annoyed, and stands up, Cole doing the same, not uttering a single world. Jane just shrugs and walks out, oblivious. Billy turns back towards Cole, sighing in frustration. “I guess we’d better get back to class.” That’s the last thing Billy wants to do. He’d like to stay in here and kiss Cole some more (Cole would like that too), but he doesn’t have much of a choice. If he skips school, his parents would be extremely mad at him.
At least Cole sits in front of him, and Billy can zone out and stare at him the entire time, until school ends and they can do whatever they want.
There was always time to talk about it later. And there would be plenty of time for kissing.
~
Billy and Cole leave the back room, noticing that everyone else is already in their seats. Billy’s old friends shoot him weird and confused glances, probably curious as to why he was alone with the school’s ‘freak’. And if they ask, Billy will tell them that it’s none of their business, because it’s not. He’d rather be with Cole than them anyways.
While Billy shrugs off the looks of his friends, Cole looks towards the girls, seeing some of them whispering, and he can only hope that it’s not about him. That would be bad.
Miss Stacy walks in a second later, telling them all to get in their seats. They oblige, heading towards where they usually sit as Miss Stacy starts the lesson. Billy’s friends try to whisper to him, once again asking him why he’s been spending so much time with Cole, but he chooses to ignore them. They don’t need to know.
As always, instead of staring at the board and writing things down on his slate, Billy turns his gaze towards Cole, and gets lost in a trance. He can’t wait to get out of here, so it can be just the two of them, and they can figure out what they’re going to do.
Billy wishes things were simple and they could be a couple, but they can’t. Or, maybe they can, but they have to keep things a secret. He tries not to think about what they’re going to do in the future, since he realized he liked Cole just yesterday and he wants to keep things as easy as possible.
Cole sneaks glances at Billy during class as well, the two of them exchanging knowing, flirty smiles. It goes like that until the bell rings, and the students make their way out of the schoolhouse.
Billy waves off his friends that try to get them to come with them, while Cole tells Anne and Diana that he’ll meet up with them later, before approaching Billy.
“Should we talk about what happened?” Cole questions, a sheepish grin on his face. And well, what, did he expect Billy to just keep kissing him without having an actual conversation about how they feel, first? That’s how this whole thing works, isn’t it? It can’t be much different from boys courting girls, although at least that is considered normal and won’t get them in trouble.
Whatever, they still have to do something about this. Ignoring their feelings won’t make them go away and just kissing without strings attached would be highly disappointing.
“Uh, yes.” Billy replies, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and Cole playfully rolls his eyes. “Let’s go to the clubhouse, just you and me.” And with that, both of them leave, walking through the woods in comfortable silence.
(Billy almost holds Cole’s hand on the way to the clubhouse. Almost. Maybe on the way back, he will.)
~
When they climb inside of the clubhouse, sitting as close as possible to each other in the enclosed space. There was a lot to discuss, but neither of the boys were really sure where to start.
“Do you um, actually like me?” Cole is the first to speak, asking a question that he’s convinced he already knows the answer to. Honestly, he just wants to hear it out loud again. It’s crazy really, the guy who once made his life miserable was now the main thing making him smile.
“Obviously. I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t.” Billy says, matter-of-factly. Then, he reaches down and grabs Cole’s hand. “I do like you, Cole.” He gives Cole’s hand a firm squeeze, and Cole shyly smiles in return.
“So, what do we do about this?” Cole asks, and well, Billy doesn’t really know what to do about this. He didn’t think he’d get this far. He doesn’t know any other couples like them, two boys, because it’s simply against the law. He’s never even heard of one, it’s so much of a taboo subject that no one even talks about it. He didn’t even know it was a thing until he admitted his feelings for Cole.
They wouldn’t have a future together. They have under a year left at school and after that, neither of them are really sure what they’re going to do. Cole will probably be forced to stay on the farm all day and Billy will more than likely have to marry a girl and take over his father’s business. Which, is not what he wants, not anymore. He’s not sure if he ever really wanted that.
The point is, in their society, they couldn’t be together, they’re not allowed. But, if they were together, they could keep it a secret. Maybe it wouldn’t last forever, but it could last for now, until they’re forced to part ways.
“I don’t know. If anyone found out...” Billy trails off, because he doesn’t need to say what would happen. Cole knows what would happen, and he shudders at the very thought.
It would be safer for both of them, and it would probably be the smarter option, if they just forgot about this entire time. And maybe that’s what Billy wants (it’s not), but Cole doesn’t want that. If he were to deny this now, he’d regret it, and he would feel weird again, like he’s been keeping something from himself.
He doesn’t want to walk away from this. He likes Billy, and Billy likes him, and if they want to be together, they should be. Nothing is official yet or anything, but they might as well be.
“I know. But no one has to, you know.” Cole suggests. He doesn’t like keeping things from Anne or Diana, not anymore, but he figures maybe he shouldn’t say anything to them about this. Especially if Billy doesn’t want to.
“You’re right. It can be our little secret.” Billy puts his arm around Cole then, raising his eyebrows obnoxiously, trying to be flirty, but ending up looking kind of dumb. That’s what Cole likes about him, though. He used to think that Billy was just a rude person for no reason, but now that he’s turned his act around, Cole sees that he can actually be really nice, and he’s secretly weird, just like most of the people Cole’s friends with.
“You’re such a weirdo.” Cole remarks, and Billy pretends to be offended, before smirking and moving in closer.
“You’re one to talk.” And then, Billy’s once again crashing his lips down on Cole’s, and suddenly every other thought he has evaporates away.
His mind goes blank, and he’s only focused on Cole, because Cole is what’s most important to him at the moment. He forgets how he’s supposed to or who he’s supposed to be, all that matters at the moment is Cole.
(They’re both so caught up in the other that they don’t hear footsteps outside, or even the girlish giggles that follow. They don’t hear the door open and they don’t hear any gasps of shock. They don’t hear anything until someone starts yelling.)
“WHAT on god’s green earth is going on here?!”
Well, so much for no one finding out.