Chapter Text
If someone told Billy Andrews ten or so months ago that he’d be head over heels in love with Cole Mackenzie, Billy would’ve laughed, socked them in the jaw, shoved them into the dirt, and walked away with his so-called friends, laughing about how stupid of an idea that is.
Oh, how things change.
Now, everything is completely different. Cole is the thing that Billy cares about most in this world, and well, he’s sure what he feels towards him is love.
Love, something Billy never thought that he’d feel, especially for the one he thought he hated the most. Really, it was never hate, Billy was just being an idiot. But wow, he doesn’t see how he could’ve ever felt anything but admiration towards Cole.
During the last year, Billy’s turned into a completely different person. Sure, he’s still kind of dumb sometimes, but he isn’t a bully anymore. Not at all. He acts better, he is better.
For once, he’s truly happy, with his life and who he is. And it’s all because of Cole. They may not be able to publicly be together, but when no one else is around, they can do what they want.
Not many know of the two of them. At the school, there’s only three. Anne and Diana, of course. The third would be Gilbert, who caught Cole and Billy kissing in the back room during lunch one day. He didn’t seem too surprised, honestly, and just raised his eyebrows, blinking at them for a moment before walking right back out, shutting the door behind him.
(Later, Billy asked him not to tell anyone, and Gilbert promised that he wouldn’t, and pointed out that the two of them were kind of obvious, at least to him. Billy didn’t know whether to be offended or to be proud.)
The only other person besides the three of them that know is Aunt Josephine, who’s supported them every step of the way. Of course, it’s a secret from their families. If they found out, that would be the end of it. The possibilities of what could happen is unimaginable. For now, Cole’s mother doesn’t expect him to marry any time soon and as for Billy’s parents, well, that’s another story.
It was hard enough for Billy to convince them to let him go to school for another year, since Prissy was away at college, and most of all, his father wanted him to take over the family business, and on top of that, talks of marriage have been present ever since Billy turned eighteen months ago. There’s always some excuse, but Billy’s beginning to run out of options.
It’s the same thing at school, with girls lining up, wanting to catch Billy’s attention. It’s no use, though, he only has eyes for Cole. Luckily, Cole isn’t the jealous type, since he knows Billy is his, and his only. (That never stops the endless teasing, though, only being silenced with a kiss.)
Still, it gets frustrating. The girls even made some dumb post-it-board thing, making a note whenever they noticed something even remotely romantic happen between them and the boys.
It’s kind of funny sometimes, honestly. The girls and some of the guys freak out over as little as someone looking at them, thinking simply touching is a big deal. Oh, if they knew what went on between Billy and Cole when no one is around, Billy’s convinced some of them would even faint, and he’s sure they would call it scandalous.
Almost every day after school, he walks Cole home, either holding hands or keeping their arms linked together, Billy always kissing Cole’s lips or his cheek before they part. And if they don’t do that, then he hugs him goodbye, tightly holding Cole in his arms as long as he can.
Of course, no one suspects anything, since they both boys, it’s assumed that they're really close friends, much like Anne and Diana are. And it’s not like they’re all over each other in public. No, but when they’re by themselves in an isolated place, there’s no holding back, and they can kiss as much as they want.
They spend as much time together as they can, without it being obvious that they’d rather be alone. Sneaking off during lunch is always an option, along with going to Aunt Josephine’s on the weekend with Diana and Anne, and spending the night there, together, wrapped up in each other in a single room. Or, ‘studying’ together after school, exchanging kisses between the minutes, or even having snowball fights in the woods, not to mention the countless hockey games that Billy finds himself getting involved in, Cole always cheering him on (or booing him, depends on the day).
Their relationship isn’t perfect, they fight sometimes, just like every couple does. But, it’s not often, and they always make up not long after, unable to stay away for too long. Because, they’re in love, even if they haven’t said it out loud yet.
Overall, the past ten (plus) months have been amazing, like something out of a dream. Only, it’s not a dream, it’s very real, and they’re glad to be reminded of it everyday.
If only they could marry each other, that’s the only downside. Billy would spend his entire life with Cole if he could, if his parents didn’t have other plans.
He’s so in love with Cole, it’s ridiculous. He adores every little thing about him, his face, his eyes, his smile, his sweetness, his entire personality, his everything.
It may not be ideal according to society, but to Billy, Cole’s exactly what he wants, and there hasn’t been a single doubt about it ever since they’ve gotten together. And hopefully, it’ll stay that way.
~
Summer approaches, and so does the deadline for the Queens exams. Billy and Cole aren’t taking them, Billy has no choice but to take over his father’s business (although, he’d like it if Prissy could do it instead, since he’s terrible at math and she’s the smartest person he knows), and Cole doesn’t really know what to do, maybe an art school or something. A lot of the others are taking them, though, including Anne, who goes on some type of rant about it every two seconds. (Billy isn’t going to complain, though, they’ve finally become friends and he isn’t about to sabotage that.)
The start of summer means the annual county fair is in town as well. This year, the students have to practice some stupid dance that Billy absolutely hates doing, because dancing is another thing he isn’t good at (according to his sisters and Cole and literally everyone else, but what do they know). And unfortunately, there’s no way he’ll be able to dance with his own partner in public.
Still, though, they get to be together in private, which includes Billy attempting to do the waltz, trying to be the lead even though Cole is the taller one (way taller, unfortunately. Cole thinks that Billy being several inches shorter than him is cute, which Billy always denies, saying he’s not cute, he’s manly), leading to one of their usual banters, which is just how they are, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.
Billy laughs to himself, shaking the thought away as he heads towards the place where he usually meets Cole, and sometimes Anne and Diana. He only looks forward to going to school, because that’s where he can see Cole, hence the reason why he wanted to do another year, lord knows Billy isn’t the school-going type of person.
With the fair being tomorrow night, they have an excuse to spend more time together. Perhaps they can sneak off, going to kiss behind a tree or somewhere, where they can be alone. It’s a nice thought, a very nice thought.
Today, Anne and Diana are waiting in the clearing, since they apparently decided to be patient this morning. A lot of the time they don’t walk to school with Billy and Cole, because in their opinion, Billy is slow. And he’s not slow, they’re just impatient. (He’s very slow.)
“Hello Anne, hello Diana.” Billy greets in a kind manner, since that’s how he usually is now, generally nice. It took some getting used to, but that’s the type of person he is these days.
“Hello Billy.” Anne says back, linking her arm with Diana’s. “Waiting for Cole?” Diana asks, already knowing the answer.
“Of course I am.” Billy replies anyways, smiling to himself. He sees Cole everyday, but he still can’t wait to see him and his cute self.
“It’s such a shame the two of you can’t practice dancing together. It’d be so romantic.” Anne sighs, dreamily, like she’s imagining it, like she tends to do, since she’s such a hopeless romantic.
It is a shame, however, that they can’t be together in public. The law says it’s wrong but, it doesn’t feel wrong, it feels right, so right. The law is what’s wrong. Alas, there’s not much they can do about society’s principles.
“Well, it’s probably better for him if we don’t. I cannot dance at all.” Billy jokes, although, he’s right. He almost feels sorry for anyone who has to do the group dance with him.
“I’m afraid that’s very true.” A voice sounds from behind him, and Billy doesn’t even need to turn to know it’s Cole, he’s memorized his voice by now.
He does turn around, though, just so he can see his love, a smug grin on his face at the usual insult.
“Shut up.” Billy responds, as he walks over to Cole, puts an arm around him, and kisses his cheek. The angle is awkward, since Billy his shorter and it would be easier if Cole was the one with an arm around him, but Billy refuses to acknowledge that he’s the shortest guy at the school, and Cole wants to spare his ego, so it stays like this, until they end up holding hands or linking arms.
This time, Cole reaches down and grabs Billy’s hand, and they begin walking to the school like that. They have to let go once they’re within a few feet of the school, but that’s fine, there will be plenty of time later. There’s always time, isn’t there?
~
As usual, the four of them get there slightly early, or rather, Miss Stacy shows up slightly late. Either way, there’s always some time to socialize with the other students.
Anne and Diana go stand with the girls, who were talking and giggling about the fair tomorrow, and the dance lessons today. Cole goes to his seat and opens his sketchbook so he doesn’t have to talk to anyone, and Billy stands with the other guys, going on about which girl they’re going to escort to the fair.
When they ask Billy who he’s taking, he knows what to say by now, since this has happened before. Sometimes, it’s annoying to keep it a secret, but it’s better than the alternative. He tells them that he just wants to go on his own, that way he doesn’t have to be tied down to one girl, and they believe him.
(They don’t see Billy discreetly wink at Cole after he says that, and he doesn’t see the other boy playfully roll his eyes in response.)
Class starts, and it ends, just like that. It always goes by fast when Billy’s dreading something, which is the dance practice, because some of the girls keep looking at him from across the room, and it’s not flattering, at all.
Right before some of the students leave, one of the girls walks over to Cole, nervously twisting strands of her hair. Billy doesn’t even need to listen to know she’s asking Cole to the dance with her. And he has to admit, it’s bold of her to be the first to ask, but she’d also better back off, since Cole is his, and only his.
“No thanks, I’m not going with anyone.” Cole offers a friendly smile before awkwardly walking away. Billy follows him, laughing about it, thinking that, if only they knew, they’d be terrified. If only. If only there were no consequences to their relationship.
A minute later, Mrs Lynde shows up, and gets all the boys and girls to line up on opposite sides of the room, and tells them what to do. It’s messy at first, everyone trampling over each other, Billy fits right in. Then, everyone slowly starts to learn, except him, because he was just not made for this.
Maybe, if he were able to dance with Cole instead of a random girl, he wouldn’t be so bad. Perhaps he’ll test that out later, when they’re by themselves.
(That would definitely be better than what he’s doing right now, because he’s pretty sure the girl he’s dancing with is one wrong move away from slapping him. Honestly, he would not blame her for that.)
Halfway through the lesson, Billy begins to get bored out of his mind, and when Miss Stacy and Mrs Lynde aren’t looking, he grabs Cole’s arm and makes his way to the back door, where they can escape through the window.
Cole doesn’t protest, just lets Billy lead him outside. Billy goes through the window first, jumping through like some type of animal, then, he holds out his hand, so he can help Cole out. Cole doesn’t really need help, but he takes Billy’s hands anyways, solely because he can.
The second Cole touches the ground, he’s being pinned against the wall, with Billy pressing his lips against his. Cole kisses back, reaching up to run one hand through Billy’s hair while the other rests on the small of his back.
Most of the time when they’re like this, Billy is a lot more romantic with the kisses (even though he won’t admit it, he says he’s not romantic, he’s manly), gently kissing Cole’s lips, face, even his neck sometimes, but this time, he’d rather practice the dance with Cole instead, since this is the only time between now and the fair that he’ll be able to.
The two of them end up in a dance position that has nothing to do with whatever on earth they were learning in there. Cole’s arms are wrapped around Billy’s neck and his head in on his shoulder, while Billy has his around Cole’s waist, both of them slightly swaying.
“You know, I’d ask you to the fair with me if I could.” Billy mumbles, longingly. Oh, well. At least he has Cole in this way, knowing they’re together, knowing they’re both happy.
“I know.” Cole sighs, because he wishes they could just be open with who they are without facing punishments. “And I’d say yes.” He adds, resting his forehead against Billy’s, fluttering his eyes shut.
“Oh, I know you would.” Billy teases, the usual smirk on his face.
“Shut up.” Cole rolls his eyes, but he can’t help the grin that forms on his face, because Billy always manages to make him laugh, just by being his stupid (and Cole says that with as much love as possible) self.
“Why don’t you make me?” Billy asks, moving impossibly closer to where his lips are only inches away from Cole’s, not kissing him, but close. And while Cole wants to kiss Billy, he always does, he’s not going to just yet.
“You’re insufferable.” Cole remarks, jokingly. Billy just shrugs in response. “You probably don’t even know what that word means.” He chuckles at his own joke, that may or may not be true. Billy scoffs, trying not to laugh himself. He does know what that word means, in fact, which would be the first.
“How rude. I actually do know what it means.” Billy pauses the swaying, standing still, but keeping Cole in his arms. “And you happen to be the opposite of it.” He smugly smirks again, especially since Cole almost looks taken aback at the random ‘compliment’. Almost, that is, because this type of thing happens all the time.
“Are you sweet-talking me, Billy Andrews?” Cole knows he is, because Billy always tries to sweet-talk him, even between insults.
“And what if I am?” Cole doesn’t answer, because the next thing he knows, he has Billy pressed against the wall and is kissing him again.
It’s times like this, the small intimate moments, that are important, little things mean a lot. They cherish every moment they’re around each other, because what they have is something special. They went from being enemies to being so in love, which is definitely something unusual. Still, it happened. And while Billy will always wish he was nice to Cole in the beginning, he’s glad he got himself together and apologized when he did, because he couldn’t imagine his life going any other way.
What he has with Cole is amazing, and Billy wouldn’t trade it for anything, nothing at all.
He wishes things could stay like this forever, the two of them in their own little world of bliss.
~
Somehow, Billy and Cole didn’t get caught skipping dance lessons. Which was lucky for them, since they just kissed the entire time, until they heard the sounds of the other students leaving the building. With that, Billy grabbed Cole’s hand and the two of them ran towards the woods, laughing like idiots the entire time.
By the time the trees kept them out of sight, they were walking in comfortable silence, arms linked since sometimes, either of them pretends to be clumsy as an excuse. It was kind of dumb, but, oh well.
Of course, it doesn’t take too long to get to the clearing which leads to Cole’s house. Billy hugs him goodbye like he usually does, only breaking away enough so they can look at each other.
“You better not dance with any other girls at the fair tomorrow.” Cole says, joking, of course, since neither one of them plan to, out of loyalty for the other. Though, some girls will try, but they won’t succeed. No, they never will.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Then, the urge to say those special three words comes to the surface, and Billy thinks about saying it, for the first time. He doesn’t know why he hasn’t before, but he feels as if he should, because Cole deserves to know that.
Cole deserves someone who truly does love him, who will treat him right, and while Billy was far from that person at first, he is now, he loves Cole and wants to give him the world. And it’s only fair if Cole knows that.
“I love you, Cole.” Billy says, brushing Cole’s jawline with his thumb, staring into his eyes with so much emotion that Cole knows he means it.
“You do?” Cole blinks slowly, trying to process the confession. Sure, he guessed that Billy loved him, since they’ve been together for so long and there’s the mutual feeling of what they have feeling real and right, but he’s never heard it out loud before.
“Of course I do. I should’ve said it sooner, I just didn’t know how.” True, since this is the first time Billy’s said that to anyone other than his family. But, through their time together, Cole’s become like his family. He feels like home. “I love you.” He says again, just to get his point across.
“I love you too, Billy.” Cole says it back, because there’s no doubt in his mind that he feels the same way. That type of love that he always hears about, he’s found it, with Billy. If this is what being in love feels like, well, then Cole would be glad to keep this forever. “I love you too.” He repeats, and then, Billy’s lips are against his again.
And it’s sweet, and meaningful, maybe the best kiss they’ve ever had. It lasts for a while, Cole’s arms around Billy and Billy’s arms around Cole, both lost in the importance of the moment, until Cole hears his mom call him from the porch of his house and quickly breaks apart from Billy.
And that ends the time they have together for today, but there’s always tomorrow. Always.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Billy pecks Cole’s lips one last time before turning around and heading towards his own house, where he knows he won’t stop thinking about Cole, because he always does, every second.
“I’ll be counting the minutes.” Cole calls after him, laughing. Billy turns back around, smirking, because lord, Cole makes it so hard to leave.
“Oh, I know you will.” And with that, Billy finally begins heading back home, a smile glued to his face at the thought of Cole, knowing that what they have truly is love.
They always say nothing lasts forever, but this, what they have will, won’t it?