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When was the last time I went outside? Hephaestus wondered to himself as he squinted in the seemingly harsh sunlight.
He didn’t want to leave his workshop - when did he ever? - but Mother wanted him to come with her and Ares to visit their aunts. It had been a handful of timelines since he had seen them, and he knew deep down, he needed some fresh air, so he agreed.
Currently, they were moving along with no conversation. The Queen walked with a practiced pride, with her head high and mighty. Hephaestus believed her to be the most beautiful woman in all of the Divine Realm, and even further beyond. Her mind was expertly guarded, and Hephaestus was curious as to what she was thinking.
Ares, on the other hand, was an open book. He was forbidden to learn any sort of mental guard - not that he’d be interested. Hephaestus’ smiled as his brother played with their new sister, Hebe. She was a small and loud thing, squealing as she was lifted and tickled. Ares’ thoughts bubbled with her laughter. Even their mother cracked a smile at the sight.
It was a little strange, Hephaestus wasn’t used to seeing Ares so excited, let alone so gentle. When he raised a finger and tried to teach Hebe his name, and she babbled on like a toddler was supposed to, it was Hephaestus’ turn to laugh out loud. “Can you try and say Phee?” He asked, giving in to their energy.
She looked to her other brother with wide eyes, and in a burst, she said, “Ph...Phee!”
“Good job, Tiny Girl!” Ares beamed at his sister, giving her a small celebratory throw. “Now say ‘Ares’!”
“Reeee!”
Ares huffed with a smile, and for the first time that day, said something to his brother, “She’ll get it soon.”
“She will, when she gets older,” Hephaestus told him. “She’s still a baby.”
“We did lots of stuff when we were babies.” The comment was idle, but it made both Hephaestus and his mother bristle. Hebe was normal, at least by their standards. Sure, she was a Daimona, but at least she wasn’t psychic or twisted with Spirit magic. Hephaestus didn’t think Ares understood that, but he also doubted his older brother cared. “She’s special, too.”
“Yeah, she is,” Dear Gaia… Please let her be normal.
“Hey, Hebe, there’s Auntie Hestia’s house!” And just like that, he was onto something else. Hephaestus sighed in relief, and his mother seemed to relax too. “Wanna say hi to your aunties?”
For the first time, their mother took Hebe from Ares. He pouted but gave her up and knocked on the door. He really likes her… it’s cute.
The door flew open and there stood Demeter, of the Bountiful Harvest. Her dreadlocks were adorned with the sharpest of golds, complementing her green dress well. She squealed and cupped her brown hands together. “Boys! Oh, look at you two, so grown up!”
It was true, at least for Ares. If he aged like a Mortal, he would only be around 15 years old. However, he was already much taller than his father - being around 6’10 in Mortal measurements - and most of the pantheon. He had the muscle to back it up as well, and with Soul Scars climbing up his face, it was unbelievable that he wasn’t well past the age of maturity.
At the same time, the brothers greeted their aunt. “Divine Greetings.” There, they deviated, with Ares calling her “Auntie Deme” and Hephaestus addressing her as, “Aunt Demeter.”
“Well, don’t you two have some manners? By Gaia, is that little Hebe? She’s much cuter than you told me! In, in, all of you!” Eagerly, she grabbed Hephaestus’ chair and pushed him into her home. His family followed, and Ares kept pace with Demeter. “Are you growing your hair out again, Ares? It suits you!”
Ares pulled a long, dark strand from his face. His curls were pushing well down his back, and Hephaestus thought it made his older brother look wilder. “You like it, Auntie?” Ares asked with a grin. “Mama tells me to cut it.”
“Demeter, don’t encourage him to look like that wild girl,” Their mother sneered. Neither brother was bothered by her tone or the fact that she referred to their younger sister, Artemis, as that wild girl. “He gets so dirty with her and gets mud all over the palace.”
“He’s a boy, let him have fun!” Demeter said with a wave of her hand. She led her family into her large living room, rearranged to have a spot just for Hepheastus’ chair. His smile grew without thinking, grateful for her going this far to include him.
Their eldest aunt, Hestia was already there, humming and setting down cookies on the coffee table. She was a small woman, the smallest Hephaestus had seen. But there was a strong resemblance between her and Ares, having the same complexion and hair texture as him. He engulfed her in a hug, giggling like a schoolboy. “Auntie!”
“Oh, Hi Ares!” Hestia hugged back and, for her own safety, wriggled out of his hold. Ares didn’t look offended, and his thoughts were full of excitement. “Come sit with your Auntie. Would you like a cookie?”
She sat on the couch beside Hephaestus, and he snuggled awkwardly between her legs. He was just so big, trying to fit in the same spot he always sat in. “Yes ma’am!” Ares said but before he ate his, he handed one to his mother, “Here, Mama.” She took the treat without a word, but her smile was enough to make Ares beam. Hephaestus could have gotten his own with telekinesis, but Ares gave him one, too. “Here, Phee,”
“Thanks, Ares,” He thanked his brother and nibbled. A hum escaped when Ares finally took one for himself. “Aunt Hestia, these are so good!”
“I keep telling Deme I outdo myself every time, and she never believes me, your kindness is appreciated.” She scratched into Ares’ surprisingly clean hair. “You too, Ares. You’re too sweet.”
Demeter, who was beside their mother, playfully rolled her eyes and said with a wave. “She always thought she was hot stuff when she baked. Anyway, onto much more important matters, Hera! Fill us in! What’s been going on around that grand castle?”
The conversation fell into a mix of gossip, venting, and support. Hephaestus didn’t pay much attention, and Ares didn’t seem to either. His thoughts were just of being happy he was near his aunties, and of cookies, and sharing cookies with Hebe. The two chimed in when asked a question, but no more than that. Their eyes met on multiple occasions, and every time, they smiled at each other.
“Ares, how many cookies have you had?” Mother asked with a glare. Hephaestus knew - nine - but kept quiet. There were plenty, but Ares put the one in his hand down, embarrassed.
“Oh Hera, leave the boy alone!” Demeter lightly slapped her sister on the arm. “You see how big he is! He’s gotta eat well to be nice and strong, don’t you, Ares?” Ares didn’t answer, but his blush was enough. “See now you scared him! Boys, go on outside while we give your mother a good talking to.”
“Don’t be mad at Mama,” Ares pleaded with an impossibly small voice. “I won’t eat anymore.”
“We’re not, baby,” Hestia cooed into his hair. “But I think your Auntie Deme and I want to have some alone time your Mama, is that alright with you two? Phee could use some more time outside, huh?”
Ares’ thoughts - like always - gave him away. He wanted to have some fun outside now that the idea was upon him, but asked his younger brother, “Do you wanna play outside?”
Knowing that there was some ulterior motive behind his aunt’s sudden proposal to leave, Hephaestus gave in. “Sure.” He said with a pseudo-innocent shrug. “We can hang outside for a while. Come on, Ares.”
His older brother jumped up with a quiet eagerness. Hephaestus was genuinely amazed that Ares controlled his movements enough to keep the noise down for Hebe, who was sleeping now. With Ares pushing him, they left for the outdoors.
Hephaestus winced when the sunlight beamed down on them at full force. Ares chuckled at his reaction and said, “I should take you outside more. The Sun is good.”
“I know,” Hephaestus admitted with a neck rub. “I just get so wrapped up in projects and assignments, I lose track of time. I’m really busy…”
Hephaestus gasped the moment rage rushed into Ares’ mind. Shit, what did I say to trigger him?! The younger Olympian scrambled to say something to calm his older brother down before his bloodlust spiraled him yet again. Ares beat him to it, nearly growling, “He keeps you down there… he keeps you busy and away from everyone.”
Oh… Of course, he thinks it’s Father’s fault. Distantly, it was. Even now, leagues away from Mount Olympus, Hephaestus feared believing his brother. Their father praised him for his work, and pushed him to keep working… and nothing else. But Hephaestus liked to tinker and create in his workshop. That didn’t make what Father was doing bad… did it?
He swallowed, refusing to agree or disagree. Ares needs to calm down. That’s what I need to focus on. “It’s okay, Ares,” Hephaestus looked up at his brother with a smile. He knew his brother would tell if he lied, so he was genuine when he added, “I like working down there. It’s not as bad as you think…”
The hazy rage didn’t subside, and, if anything, it got worse. Sparks of lighting flared between Ares’ fingertips, and Hephaestus knew his brother would have flown back home in an instant had he not asked, “Hey, I can show you that lighting trick with your eyes. Wanna try it?”
And, just like that, the rage was gone. Ares smiled down at his brother. “Really?” He asked, not at all sounding how he looked. “You’ll show me, Phee?”
“Sure! There’s an open enough space to practice over there.” He pointed, and Ares dashed off, leaving his brother in literal dust. Hephaestus didn’t mind, just as long as his bloodlust didn’t trigger. Wheeling himself with telekinesis, he met Ares as they faced a sea of trees.
“Ready?” Hephaestus asked his brother, losing to a fighting smile.
“Ready!”
“Good, now, let’s start with some lighting,” Hephaestus snapped his finger and a controlled bolt of lightning sparked through his fingers. One undeniable trait that the brothers shared with their father was the element of fire, which could manifest into lighting upon training and concentration. It came easy for their father, and even easier for Hephaestus. Ares needed to put in the work, but with his… lessons from their father, he figured it out soon enough. “Remember to focus the lightning in one place or it won’t work.”
Hephaestus demonstrated, taking a deep breath and channeling his inner flames to move upward. His vision blurred, and he remembered to add, “It won’t be clear for a second, but you have to keep focusing.” The familiar pressure built up at the front of his skull, and with a gasp, twin bolts of gold lightning blasted forward from his eyes. The impact was quick and small, only barely burning a tree a few meters in front of them. “Ta-da!”
“Wow, Phee!” Ares exclaimed, and the pride made Hephaestus’ chest puff out. “That was awesome! I wanna try!”
“Okay, but be careful-” The warning was too late, and even if it wasn’t, Ares wasn’t one to heed them anyway. His hand was already ablaze with biting flames. He grunted, and in a second the flames burned into scattering bolts of lightning. He’d rather fall into the Void than tell Ares, but Hephaestus always hated how sickening his Soul Scars looked when his hands were lit. They cast a murderous shadow onto his dark olive skin, and his feral grin only made Hephaestus want to vomit the cookies he ate.
Ares took a breath, and the sparks died out. He grunted a bit, poking his tongue out of his mouth. It would have been hard to see, but Hephaestus noticed his brother’s veins sprout on his marked neck. “It hurts, I know,” Hephaestus told him. “But you-”
There was no gasp. Ares’ roar made Hephaestus flinch, and the lightning that released made his skin crawl. Bolts did not leave his eyes, but lightning beams. They screamed through trees, before cracking into one a good four meters away. Hephaestus swallowed. Ares jumped up and down, cheering like he won a toy at a fair. “I did it, Phee!” He shouted to the clouds above. “I did it!”
“I knew you could!” Hephaestus told him, hoping his panic was masked well. And you definitely don’t need to do it again.
“I wanna try again!”
“N-no!” Hephaestus reached his hand out, before scrambling for an excuse. “Using it too much would give you headaches. We can try again some other time.” Teaching him alone was a risk. There were only so many fire elements in their family, and if Ares even tried to attempt that on their father - Hephaestus knew he would sooner or later - there would be only one place to shift blame to. That’s alright. Father always told me he’ll never learn anything, but this just proves him wrong. That thought warmed Hephaestus more than he would have liked.
Ares pouted but relented. “I don’t like the pain… but that was worth it. I wanna show Mama!”
Mother’s heart would stop on the spot. “Maybe you could show her something else?” The last thing she needed was her son showing her a new way to kill someone.
Ares hummed. “You’re right. Mama gets scared when I use my powers. You do, too.”
Hephaestus stiffened. How did he know? He never wanted to show that Ares intimidated him at times… most times. It was hard not to be, with the seemingly infinite black marks across his skin, his obscene height and girth, the faint but crystal clear deranged glint in his eyes. But, that was all on the surface. Hephaestus knew that his brother was gentle around the right company and never hurt his loved ones. He couldn’t help but apologize, “Ares, I know, no matter what-”
“I know,” Ares said with a smile. He put a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder and squeezed it with love. “I can be scary sometimes. But I know you and Mama and Tiny Girl like me.”
No, Ares… we love you. At least I do… “We do like you. And so much more, okay? Do you wanna go back now?”
Ares nodded. “Mama won’t like it… but I want another cookie.”
“You had nine!”
“Nine? Oh… I’m still hungry. You think Auntie will let us take some home?”
“Why don’t we ask her and find out?” Hephaestus smiled warmly, using his telekinesis to wheel himself back to their aunts. Ares followed, similar to that of a puppy. “Those cookies were really good, huh?”
“Mhm! I wish Mama would make some.”
“I’ll ask one of the handmaids when we get back home.”
“No,” An edge crept into Ares’ voice. “I want Mama to do it.”
Hephaestus didn’t have the heart to explain to Ares - yet again - that their mother was the busiest woman in the pantheon, and it was rare for her to have any time for any of her children. Both brothers were dumped off to nursing nymphs when they were young, and Hephaestus was sure Hebe would share the same fate. He could tell she’d rather hop into the Void than leave Hebe in Ares’ care. “We can ask her when we get home, okay? But not if she’s stressed out.”
“Okay!” And the conversation was dropped. Hephaestus didn’t mind the admittedly awkward silence. Neither one of them was much of a conversationalist, but their smiles let the other know that that was okay.
The moment they made it back inside, their smiles dropped. Sobs could be heard from down the hall, and it was clear who those sobs belonged to. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!” Their mother’s squeal made Ares flinch. “I try to give him what he wants… I really do… but every other night it’s the same thing. Even my own handmaids!”
Hephaestus swallowed. Their father’s infidelity crushed their mother more than anything, and in turn, crushed her sons. Because they were so different, they had different ways of handling it. Hephaestus internalized and avoided it as much as he possibly could. And Ares…
His mind was a swirling storm, so dark Hephaestus could hardly read anything. There was nothing to read because his hurt penetrated all thinking. In an attempt to console his brother, Hephaestus put a hand on Ares' bare, marked arm. He looked down before sliding against the wall to sit. There was no needed response, his angry tears were enough.
“Hera…” Hestia called, awfully quiet.
“What am I supposed to do? Just sit back and let it happen? Then I’d really be a pushover… even more than I already am.” Her bitter tone spat into the air. Hephaestus tasted bile. “I can’t… Ares would get involved and he just makes everything worse!”
Ares blinked at the words, his eyes widening and helping his tears fall faster.
“Now, Hera,” Demeter forced her way into the conversation. “You know better than that. Ares is doing his best. He’s getting better-”
“He’s getting worse!” Mother exclaimed, coupled with more intense sobs. “Sure, he was quiet today, but you had to notice the Soul Scars are getting on his face! He keeps killing and hurting… and I know he likes it… I… I don’t know what to do with him. We can’t even mention Zeus’ name or he’ll fly into a frenzy! He’s a bomb… And I don’t know what to do with him… Maybe if he was like Athena, then Zeus would like him more… I don’t know... ”
Ares’ eyes were distant, numb. His thoughts had faded, but his mental storm was giving way, too. What would be left? Hephaestus knew the answer, and it startled him so bad he had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming. No… No Ares, don’t be sad… please… The younger started to rock a bit, holding his arms out to his brother, and, without even looking, Ares caught him. He pulled Hephaestus close, simply holding his brother in his terribly strong arms. One of his thoughts broke through his abandoned mind, and it almost made Hephaestus sob.
I want to die. Mama would be happy if I died.
Don't... don't think like that, Ares... “That’s not entirely his fault and you know it,” Demeter snapped. “Zeus used Spirit magic on him when he was just born! What in Gaia’s name did you think was going to happen?” I need you... I don't have anyone else...
“I don’t know! He… He wanted a weapon. He wanted a weapon to win the war, he really wanted one. I couldn’t… I didn’t want to say no. And then he wanted an heir.”
Oh no. It’s my turn.
“And what’s wrong with Hephaestus?” Hestia asked, much calmer than both other sisters. How is she so calm?
“Just… He’s wrong! I ruined him the moment he was born… Zeus... He told me. He told me that Hephaestus would be better off dead… so… We threw him-”
“You told me he fell!” She told everyone I fell. He told her to tell everyone I fell.
“I… He did! I… It was for the best! And now he’s still alive and he knows! He’s psychic! He’s always in everyone’s head, peeping, and prying… I don’t know what to do with him, either. I… I can’t love him… I can’t love either of them! What kind of sick mother am I?!”
There was always a small part of Hephaestus deep within that believed he was immune. Of course, Ares wasn’t loved, he had 723 kills, and he was still a teenager! He was violent, he was scary, it made sense to simply not love him. Hephaestus had no such issues. How could he? He trapped himself in his workshop and refused to disturb the peace. It was a selfish thinking, he knew, but a selfish thinking Hephaestus had survived on for 11 Divine years. And now, it’s gone.
No, their mother had no love for him, either. Why? Hephaestus could only wonder. A multitude of reasons formed in his mind - could he just blame Father like Ares? That seemed easy. Too easy. If he went back home thinking like that, Athena would give him Tartarus over and over.
A strong hand forced its way into Hephaestus’ short hair. It was too tiring and blurry to concentrate on anything but his mother. “I just want him happy… but every time I try, he just hates it. He hates Ares, and he hates Hephaestus… I hope he likes Hebe…”
A sob escaped from Hephaestus’ throat. It was quiet and miserable. Ares squeezed him tighter and, for the first time in a few timelines Hephaestus felt like he was younger than Ares.
“Hera, you shouldn’t value your children based on Zeus’ opinions, especially if you know it’s flawed.” Hestia was gentle, comfortable, like a fireplace. “Love them for who they are. Ares and Phee will understand, and they’ll forgive you.”
“There’s no point if he doesn’t care…” Mother sighed. “He’ll just go off and make babies he cares about, like those damn twins, and Maia’s kid!” A heated pause, then, “He only hates mine. It’s my fault…”
“Hera-“
“I don’t blame him… they’re wrong.”
An angry sigh, then Demeter fumed, “There’s no getting through to you, is there? So… Now what? You're going to hate your sons because of him?”
“I… I don’t hate them.” A spark of hope. Small, alive, and Hephaestus could tell both he and his brother clung to it like a virus. “I just… I just can’t.”
“You need help, Hera. I can’t believe you'd even think that about the boys…”
“You don’t see them every day, you don’t even know what they’re really like.” What am I really like? Hephaestus didn’t know, and he doubted his mother knew either. Maybe she was talking about Ares again…
“I know my nephews are good boys, all of them. Even yours. Because you’re good, Hera. Even if he doesn’t see it all the time.”
“… I should go.”
“Hera-“
“No, I’ve said too much. I got carried away. We need to get back.”
Hephaestus gasped. She couldn’t see them like this, everything would be over. Since Hephaestus fell into his older brother’s arms, he looked up at Ares for the first time. He was crying too, with fast tears falling down his cheeks. His right was stained with Soul Scars, and they didn’t smudge. He nodded once, and Hephaestus teleported them both outside, back where they had practiced.
Ares put him on the grass, and for a long while, they stared at each other. What was there to say? Their mother had no love for them, and neither of her sons had the gall to say it out loud.
Of course, Ares broke down first. He hunched over and sobbed into his giant hands. “Mama…! Mama, I’m sorry!” He called like a baby. “Why… Why Mama? Why did you hurt Phee?”
Hephaestus ground his teeth. Why isn’t it obvious to him?! She said why! We’re wrong, you asshole!
“Don’t be mad, Phee…” Ares pleaded to his brother. His voice made Hephaestus stiffen. “Don’t be mad at Mama…”
Hephaestus didn’t even realize he was fuming. But why? His mother just told her sisters that she had no love for him. Shouldn’t he be sobbing like his older brother?
Even in a time of frantic confusion, Hephaestus was still compelled to console his brother. “I’m… I’m not angry.” Hephaestus said and had no idea if he was lying. “I just… I don’t know. But we can’t let her know we know what she said, okay?”
“But I wanna know why.”
Ares… “I know. I want to know why, too. But we have to keep this between us. Okay?”
He hesitated, shaking like a little storm. But he nodded. “Okay.”
“She can never know.”
“Okay…”
Good. It’ll be fine then. Hephaestus wanted to smile, but there was nothing in him. There was still moisture on his brown cheeks, and he wished he could stop crying, at least in front of Ares. Ares was the crier, the emotionally unstable. Hephaestus was the one who kept the peace, who stayed away from everyone.
But that didn’t seem to matter. Their mother hated them, anyway.
“Boys! Your mother is leaving!” Ares and Hephaestus gasped at the same time. They frantically wiped their eyes and swallowed their stray tears. Ares scooped Hephaestus up and carried them back to Auntie Deme’s voice. “Hestia wanted you to have some extra cookies, don’t eat them all today now, you hear Ares?”
“Yes ma’am,” Ares said, obviously subdued. He sniffed and placed Hephaestus in his chair. The latter took the warm cookies into his lap. “Keep them warm, Phee.”
“Sure thing!” Hephaestus piped. It was a lot easier for him to separate his thoughts and appearances. It was a practice, just like his mother’s pride.
“Come boys,” Mother’s voice struck them both like their father’s lightning. She was already walking away from her sister’s home. Her stride was strong and tight as if she didn’t just spill her guts.
Ares looked like he was going to throw up. But he nodded once and mumbled, “Okay, Mama. Bye, Auntie. Bye, Auntie Deme.”
“Come back sooner than later!” Hestia called as the royal family went back home. When Ares turned to wave, Hephaestus heard her and Aunt Demeter’s mind shift with pain. They saw his hurt. They knew.
That’s fine. The next time we come back, it will be long gone and over. They’ll forget, just like Ares… at least, that’s what would normally happen.
But Hephaestus knew he was just spewing nonsense. Ares walked behind, his eyes were cast down, and he didn’t even offer to hold Tiny Girl… not that Mother would say yes to her manic of a son holding her sleeping daughter. No, this time, words would stick. What Mother said would stick.
Hephaestus never knew what it was like to forget. He was psychic, one of only four known in Divine existence. Every thought, every memory was burned and stored away into his vast book-like mind. I did not fall that day. With the God King’s will, she threw her son away to die.
His thoughts would have easily consumed him had Ares not subtly held out his hand. Hephaestus grabbed it just slow enough to not look desperate. They squeezed at the same time, and to Hephaestus’ surprise, Ares laughed. It was genuine, not at all like his usual bitter snickers. And what came next made Hephaestus gasp. “I love you, Phee.”
“I…” Why did he say that? ...Does it really matter? Hephaestus knew the answer, and it made his smile grow the largest it’s been today. “I love you too, Ares.”
Their mother glanced back at them, but neither boy saw. They were too busy smiling at each other.