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Something felt different about Lena today. Kara could tell just by looking at her. She seemed nervous and fidgety. Not in her usual way where she would wring her hands while thinking over a scientific problem. This was something else. "Is everything okay?" Kara asked even though she was a little afraid to hear her answer.
"Um, not really," Lena answered nervously. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you."
"So you didn't just come to my apartment to see me?" Kara replied, feigning hurt feelings in the process.
"Come on you know I'm always happy to see you," Lena responded while settling down on Kara's couch in the process. "Can you just sit with me for a minute so we can talk?"
Kara's brow started to furrow upon hearing this. "Well now you have me worried," she said while planting herself firmly on the couch as close to Lena as she could. "Is it Lex? What did he do? I swear if he-"
"Kara slow down," Lena answered, "it's not Lex, I do appreciate your willingness to fight him on my behalf though."
.
"Well what are friends for?" Kara retorted. That word still felt strange when she said it to Lena. Friend, it didn't feel appropriate when she thought about everything they had been through together. Her connection to Lena felt stronger than friendship, it felt like there was a cosmic thread pulling them together. Whenever Kara found herself feeling this way she had to be careful because it felt dangerously close to using another word to describe their relationship. A word she didn't know if Lena was able to hear, or even wanted to hear for that matter.
"Well as your friend, I wanted you to be the first person I tell," Lena countered.
"First person you tell what?" Kara said in return as an inquisitive look appeared on her face.
"I'm leaving National City," Lena said and suddenly the whole of Kara's sunny apartment seemed to be filled with impending gloom and dread.
Kara couldn't believe what she was hearing. This felt like some wrong alternate reality that Mxy had put her in. How could Lena be leaving? Who was she without Lena? And why did her leaving feel different to when Winn or James told her they had to leave.
"Lena that's... I'm... You're…" and try as she might Kara couldn't find the words to say to Lena.
"You obviously need a minute," Lena said while laughing a little at Kara's flustered reaction. "So I'll do the talking. I got a call from a lab where they want me to be head researcher, not only that but the lab is in Ireland." Kara could hear the excitement in Lena's voice when she mentioned Ireland. "It's perfect!” “I can oversee my own research unit and I can try to discover more about my roots at the same time. After spending so long wondering about my mother, this could be a chance to finally find out more about her."
Even though Kara had heard every word Lena had said she still couldn't wrap her head around the thought of life without Lena. Who would she bring coffee to in the morning? Who would she eat insane amounts of donuts and Big Belly Burgers with? This felt less like Kara's best friend leaving and more like a part of Kara's soul leaving her body.
"How long are you gonna be gone for?" and as Kara asked this it felt like the most important question she had ever asked.
"I can't say, the job sounded pretty permanent when they contacted me," Lena answered while studying Kara's facial reaction and wondering why her friend seemed to be on the verge of tears.
"So you'll just be completely gone then," Kara said as her heart sank all the way down into her chest.
"You make it sound like I'll be dead or something," Lena said with a laugh. Even though Lena was joking when she said this, it didn't sound that far from the truth to Kara. Lena wouldn't be dead, but if she wasn't with Kara, it would feel like a part of her had died.
"I'm gonna miss you so much," Kara said as tears started to form in her eyes.
"Oh Kara, don't cry," Lena said soothingly while bringing Kara into a warm and comforting hug. "You can come visit me whenever you want."
"I know," Kara said while fighting back more tears "but I feel like I'm losing the woman I love" and just like that Kara had said it. She hadn’t meant to use the L word like that, it had just slipped out. The thought of Lena leaving her had brought all of her feelings to the forefront.
What followed next felt like the longest few seconds in Kara's life. In those brief moments of silence every one of Kara's worst thoughts started to swirl around her head. Had she just ruined years of friendship with one sentence? Was this the end of her and Lena's relationship? And most importantly of all, did Lena feel the same way?
"Kara?" Lena asked "Did you just call me the woman you love?"
.
"Oh god, I'm sorry Lena, I shouldn't have said that. I just started panicking and it just came out." Kara was obviously flustered at this stage and was starting to turn the brightest shade of crimson Lena had ever seen. "Let's just pretend this never happened. I'm your best friend and I shouldn't be talking about-and before Kara could finish rambling Lena was kissing her deeply and passionately.
Was this really happening? Kara thought to herself. Did Lena Luthor really feel the same way as her?. Kara couldn't believe that Lena felt it too, why would Lena pick her? The kryptonian who had lied to her in the past. The kiss felt like a dream and Kara didn't want it to end. When she finally pulled away from Lena, mostly at Lena's request, Kara was full of questions. Lena was the one who started the conversation though.
"I've wanted to do that for years," she said while leaning back on the couch.
"You have?" Kara asked in a bewildered tone "I had no idea!"
"Kara Danvers, I've been flirting with you for years," Lena replied. "I thought the fact that you never made a move meant you weren't interested."
"But when were you flirting? Kara asked.
“Oh I don’t know, maybe when I filled your office with flowers,” Lena replied teasingly.
“I thought you were just being friendly!” Kara said defensively.
“You know, for someone with X-ray vision you miss a lot," Lena said in response.
“Oh really?” Kara asked “Then how come we just kissed?”.
“Because you told me you loved me," Lena answered “You weren’t exactly subtle."
Back to the L word. Kara had been so caught up in the world’s greatest kiss that she had almost forgotten she had used that word. Love. A word full of expectation, a word that can get in the way of a burgeoning relationship. “About that,” Kara started
‘I’m just gonna stop you right there," Lena interjected “I love you too. I’ve been in love with you since the moment I first saw you. I love the way your brow furrows when you’re lost in thought. I love the way you go bright red when you’re embarrassed. I love that you always think of everyone else before yourself and I love that you save countless lives every day. You saved my life Kara. I love a million different things about you and I always will."
Kara had just finished drying her eyes but now she was ready to start crying all over again.
"But you’re still going to Ireland" Kara said with desperation in her voice. “How am I supposed to say goodbye to you when we just managed to find each other?”
“Come with me!” Lena answered enthusiastically. “There’s no one else on this planet that I’d rather go on this journey with. You’re the love of my life and I want to share mine with you."
“But who’s gonna protect National City?” Kara asked.
“I think the rest of the super friends have got that covered,” Lena said confidently. “Besides, if they ever need any help, you can just fly over. I hear the trip from Ireland to America is pretty quick if you fly Air Krypton. We can visit them whenever we want as well. It’s not like they’ll be alone though. J’onn has M’gann, Alex has Kelly and Nia has Brainy."
“And I have you,” Kara blurted out while a wide grin beamed across her face. She hadn’t meant to say it but as soon as she did Lena started laughing.
“Yes you do," she replied “I’m all yours” and as she said it she grabbed Kara’s hand and held it in hers while resting her head gently on Kara’s shoulders.
After that it was decided. Kara would go to Ireland with Lena and together they would discover Lena’s past while discovering each other at the same time. Kara had found her home in Lena and now she wanted to help Lena find out more about her own.