Chapter Text
Eren | Levi | Hanji
November 15th, 2014
(Sat 9:45pm)
ayy dickbutt
(Sat 9:45pm)
our sociology thing is next week and we haven't done anything about it so I'm giving you an all expense paid trip to my place for burgers and titanfall
(Sat 9:46 pm)
and y'know studying, probably
(Sat 9:47pm)
I don’t know who the fuck this is but I take my burgers with no tomato, thank you
(Sat 9:50pm)
didn’t even save my number smh
(Sat 9:50pm)
what Armin sees in you I’ll never know
(Sat 9:51pm)
it’s Eren, dickwad
(Sat 10:06pm)
Who’s Armin. Fuck you, I’m hot as hell.
(Sat 10:07pm)
I don’t know an Eren, shitfuck.
(Sat 10:07pm)
oh shit
(Sat 10:08pm)
typed in the wrong number, sorry!
(Sat 10:13pm)
It’s whatever
(Sat 10:17 pm)
Here’s to getting your sociology shit done.
(Sat 10:18pm)
thanks man :D
(Sat 10:19pm)
or lady
(Sat 10:19pm)
or y’know whatever u go by
(Sat 10:21pm)
Levi.
(Sat 10:25pm)
Levi
(Sat 10:25pm)
that’s cool
(Sat 10:26pm)
do you pronounce it like leeee-vi or like leh-vi
(Sat 10:27pm)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFfmXl9NJP0
(Sat 10:29pm)
so like the jeans lmao
(Sat 10:30pm)
I guess that should have been obvious
(Sat 10:32pm)
If I had a dollar for every time I heard ‘like the jeans’ I’d be a rich bastard.
(Sat 10:33pm)
B)
(Sat 10:33pm)
how are you, Levi like the jeans? :)
(Sat 10:34pm)
Cold as fuck.
(Sat 10:35pm)
It’s too fucking windy out.
(Sat 10:35pm)
Hold onto yourself, kid, you’ll get blown away.
(Sat 10:37pm)
woah woah woah now that’s a lot of assumptions right there
(Sat 10:38pm)
how do you know it’s windy where I’m at
(Sat 10:39pm)
Same area code, smartmass.
(Sat 10:40pm)
fair enough
(Sat 10:42pm)
well I’ll have you know I’m more than enough muscle
(Sat 10:43pm)
no need to worry about me goin anywhere
(Sat 10:54pm)
Flirting isn’t going to get you anywhere.
(Sat 10:55pm)
Besides, you’re obviously a broke college kid. You probably live off frozen pizza and ramen.
(Sat 10:55pm)
Disgusting.
(Sat 11:01pm)
I’d be offended if it wasn’t true
(Sat 11:01pm)
thE BROKE COLLEGE KID THING NOT THE FLIRTING
(Sat 11:02pm)
oh man
(Sat 11:02pm)
Gross.
(Sat 11:03pm)
Ah, so you were flirting.
(Sat 11:03pm)
was not
(Sat 11:04pm)
“” I’m more than enough muscle “”
(Sat 11:05pm)
I was just stating one of the few truths of this world
(Sat 11:05pm)
Flirtatiously.
(Sat 11:06pm)
Tch, haven’t even met me and you already can’t keep it in your pants.
(Sat 11:06pm)
I don’t blame you.
(Sat 11:07pm)
for all I know you could be old as balls
(Sat 11:07pm)
or like a greasy 30 yo who watches my little pony and shoots up mountain dew
(Sat 11:09pm)
What’s wrong with being 30
(Sat 11:09pm)
What’s wrong with My Little Pony
(Sat 11:10pm)
oh my god are you a 30 yo brony mountain dew addict
(Sat 11:10pm)
I wouldn’t blame you for the mountain dew tbh
(Sat 11:11pm)
MAKE A WISH
(Sat 11:11pm)
No, just 30.
(Sat 11:12pm)
I probably shouldn’t be texting a college kid.
(Sat 11:12pm)
What the fuck are you talking about
(Sat 11:14pm)
oh my god you are old as balls
(Sat 11:14pm)
are you like a dad jesus
(Sat 11:15pm)
you’re supposed to make a wish on 11:11 duh
(Sat 11:15pm)
but you’ve missed your chance for the night :( now you gotta wait til tomorrow
(Sat 11:18pm)
Shut up
(Sat 11:18pm)
You probably won’t even live to see 30, not with your diet.
(Sat 11:19pm)
Damn, how am I supposed to live on now that I've missed my nightly wish. Now my dreams will never come true.
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(Sun 8:15am)
sorry!!
(Sun 8:32am)
Who the fuck
(Sun 8:33am)
we already had this conversation!
(Sun 8:40am)
???
(Sun 8:41am)
Oh you’re that brat from last night.
(Sun 8:41am)
Unless it’s for using up all my minutes, in that case, apology not accepted.
(Sun 8:43am)
wow you ARE old
(Sun 8:45am)
sorry if I woke you up
(Sun 8:46am)
You did.
(Sun 8:49am)
It’s fine.
(Sun 8:50am)
But what the fuck were you saying sorry in the first place for.
(Sun 8:54am)
I fell asleep in the middle of our conversation
(Sun 8:57am)
You're not obligated to apologise to me, kid. We're not friends.
(Sun 8:59am)
It's fine.
(Sun 9:01am)
excuuuse me for trying to me nice
(Sun 9:05am)
well I gotta go sell overpriced band shirts to middle class scene kids
(Sun 9:05am)
bug ya later ;)
(Sun 9:09am)
Weird I pictured you as a middle class scene kid.
(Sun 9:09am)
Oh, please do.
(Sun 9:19am)
That was sarcasm, by the way.
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(Sun 11:11am)
MAKE A WISH
(Sun 11:11am)
All I want are some zebra cakes.
(Sun 11:12am)
I will buy you a garden where your zebra cakes can bloom
(Sun 11:14am)
That literally made no fucking sense.
(Sun 11:14am)
I will buy you a new life - Everclear
(Sun 11:15am)
good song, no zebra cakes tho
(Sun 11:16am)
break’s over! bug ya even later
(Sun 11:18am)
Excuse you who the fuck are you to tell me whether or not I’m getting zebra cakes, fuck you.
(Sun 11:20am)
Please don’t.
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(Sun 2:34pm)
Teacher.
(Sun 2:41pm)
Is this some kind of roleplaying shit shit because I’m not into that.
(Sun 2:42pm)
hOLY SHIT
(Sun 2:43pm)
alright so not a teacher. lawyer? broke unemployed writer? assassin?
(Sun 2:54pm)
What the fuck are you doing
(Sun 2:54pm)
I told you I’m not into that roleplaying shit.
(Sun 3:00pm)
Holy shit are you trying to guess my job
(Sun 3:02pm)
You have about as much finesse as
Well as an awkward teenager actually, congratulations on fulfilling your rightful role.
(Sun 3:03pm)
that’s awkward YOUNG ADULT according to the LAW
(Sun 3:04pm)
alright I give up
(Sun 3:04pm)
what does the elusive Levi do for a living
(Sun 3:06pm)
Is this your way of letting me know you’re legal
(Sun 3:06pm)
And they say chivalry is dead
(Sun 3:07pm)
I’m hardly elusive and that’s hardly your business
(Sun 3:10pm)
figured me being in college would have given at least that much away
(Sun 3:10pm)
flirting with a college student wow how very pervy old man of you
(Sun 3:11pm)
what will the kids think Levi
(Sun 3:13pm)
Well, if they're smart the kids would call the police.
(Sun 3:15pm)
But they're parents probably sheltered them so they're probably fucking idiots and would get into a van for a Jolly Rancher.
(Sun 3:15pm)
Not that I wouldn't get in a van for a Jolly Rancher
(Sun 3:16pm)
jesus dude
(Sun 3:19pm)
*their
(Sun 3:20pm)
What
(Sun 3:20pm)
Oi, fuck you
(Sun 3:22pm)
you got all INTENSE
(Sun 3:22pm)
maybe I'm starting to crack you
(Sun 3:23pm)
what? is the not teacher/lawyer/unemployed writer/assassin/brony mad he got schooled by a broke college kid
(Sun 3:26pm)
You wish
(Sun 3:28pm)
You think you're hot shit don't you
(Sun 3:28pm)
one day
(Sun 3:29pm)
you love it
(Sun 3:31pm)
I love it when you leave me alone
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(Sun 10:40pm)
what kind of name is Levi anyway
(Sun 10:43pm)
LEVI
PRONOUNCED: LEE-vie (English)
Meaning & History
Means "attached" in Hebrew. In the Old Testament, Levi is the third son of Jacob and Leah, and the ancestor of one of the twelve tribes of the Israelites.
(Sun 10:44pm)
so you’re Jewish
(Sun 10:46pm)
EREN
Meaning & History
Means “saint, holy person” in Turkish
(Sun 10:46pm)
I can use the internet too
(Sun 10:47pm)
“holy person” huh
(Sun 10:48pm)
so you’re Turkish
(Sun 10:48pm)
yes actually :D
(Sun 10:48pm)
well half
(Sun 10:49pm)
mom’s Turkish, dad’s German
(Sun 10:50pm)
Neat
(Sun 10:52pm)
My dad was French
(Sun 10:56pm)
yoOOOOO DO YOU SPEAK FRENCH
(Sun 10:56pm)
Oui.
(Sun 10:56pm)
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(Sun 10:57pm)
Tone it down brat you’re giving me a headache.
(Sun 10:57pm)
With your capslock and shit.
(Sun 10:58pm)
I wonder how far you are
(Sun 10:58pm)
if you were close enough would you save me from this party
(Sun 10:59pm)
I thought college kids were supposed to love parties
(Sun 10:59pm)
Or have you become self aware
(Sun 11:00pm)
too much beer not enough mountain dew
(Sun 11:00pm)
my ex-girlfriend is here
(Sun 11:01pm)
Mountain Dew is an energy drink disguised as a soda, and that’s the last fucking thing someone like you needs.
(Sun 11:02pm)
Oh shit.
(Sun 11:02pm)
Kill her. Problem solved.
(Sun 11:03pm)
she’s been avoiding me all night
(Sun 11:03pm)
she’s been eye fucking my sister the minute we showed up tho
(Sun 11:05pm)
She’s avoiding you because she knows we’re planning her murder.
(Sun 11:05pm)
That shit sounds painful.
(Sun 11:06pm)
I mean literally fucking someone’s eye.
(Sun 11:06pm)
she used to eye fuck me
(Sun 11:07pm)
Don’t do this to me I’m shitty with emotions
(Sun 11:07pm)
To hell with her, she sounds like a fucking asshole
(Sun 11:10pm)
Ah I’m bad at this
(Sun 11:10pm)
hey Levi
(Sun 11:10pm)
What
(Sun 11:11pm)
make a wish
(Sun 11:14pm)
I wish for you to stop scaring the shit out of me what the fuck was that
(Sun 11:15pm)
;)
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(Mon 1:02am)
tom yuch be ea r notnenoguh moutn dew
(Mon 1:11am)
mAKE A WISH
(Mon 1:11am)
w ao t shit no wotrng time
(Mon 1:32am)
M Y BEST FRIEND JSUT THR W E UP ON MY HSHOES
(Mon 1:33am)
WHWR RE IS JENA
(Mon 1:33am)
WHW ER’E MA RCRO
(Mon 1:40am)
upd ate ht ey fwere fucking and amrin was lookgin for the m
(Mon 1:45am)
THEY’R’E GOING A TIT AGAIN QITH ARMIN
(Mon 1:46am)
you ar eognna be so sore int hte morning bud dy
(Mon 2:09am)
a ma n goes to ppuek in the bathr omm and find s his ex and his ow n sis ter making out in the bathtub smH
(Mon 2:10am)
dindrnjep
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(Mon 7:50am)
Rise and shine little man :D!!
(Mon 8:25am)
I’m guessing no morning Starbucks?
(Mon 8:30am)
I must admit I’m a little concerned (• ʜ • )
(Mon 8:55am)
WHERE ARE YOU
(Mon 9:01am)
Rip
(Mon 10:30am)
Don’t be dramatic shitty glasses, I slept in late.
(Mon 10:32am)
Fuck, Erwin’s gonna tear me a new fucking asshole I’m so late
(Mon 10:35am)
Your ass better still have coffee for me when I get there.
(Mon 10:50am)
If you see our good ol’ boss Erwin tell him I’m coming.
(Mon 10:52am)
I’m afraid your peppermint mocha has gone cold ( ˘ ³˘)❤
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(Mon 12:45pm)
I feel like something tried to chew my head off in my sleep call 911
(Mon 1:03pm)
Does this have anything to do with all those wierd ass texts you sent me in the middle of the night.
(Mon 1:04pm)
maybe
(Mon 1:04pm)
Mhm.
(Mon 1:04pm)
sorry
(Mon 1:04pm)
:(
(Mon 1:07pm)
It’s whatever.
(Mon 1:07pm)
Do you even remember anything
(Mon 1:08pm)
Armin owns me a new pair of shoes
(Mon 1:08pm)
I threw up on my ex and my sister
(Mon 1:08pm)
that may or may not have been an accident
(Mon 1:09pm)
That’s absolutely disgusting.
(Mon 1:09pm)
I’m impressed