Chapter Text
It was only afterwards that they realized they actually had all noticed the individual signs, here and there.
But in the end, it was Kei himself who connected those dots for them and named the constellation they formed in his starless sky.
Kei never learned to drive, never showed an interest in getting his license. And by the time they all started dating they were living in Tokyo anyways, and one car between the four of them with Keiji, Tetsurou, and (as a last resort) Koutarou driving was more than enough in addition to public transit. Generally everyone took the train to their respective places of employment, and use of their sole beat up Nissan was reserved for weekend outings or the rare evening partying to celebrate this or that friend’s occasion. One of the three would be the designated driver of the night, and while they sometimes ribbed Kei for not taking his turn, none of them actually held it against him.
They often teased ‘Tsukki-chan!’, the youngest, the baby of their group. An easy target was his clumsiness. Kei’s boyfriends collectively assumed it was his gazelle-like legs always tripping him up, that his general lankiness was the reason he so often had bruises all up and down his limbs from the various pieces of furniture he'd swung an arm into, stumbled over, or even full-bodily collided with. It was impossible not to make light of it, prodding at Kei's rather fragile ego until his face had adorably darkened to the deep red of the strawberries he so loved. But they'd relent before any real harm was done, and the three of them always found and kissed every one of those bruises each night until they'd faded away completely, new ones soon taking their place.
In terms of touch and seeking affection, their Kei was rather like a cat. It was a trait that Tetsurou took great pleasure in pointing out, since Kei had been on Nekoma’s rival volleyball team with a crow mascot in their high school years. Yes, just like a cat, it was only when Kei's boyfriends were especially still and quiet that they would find him slinking up to them. He’d settle in next to them on the sofa or bed with a well-thumbed favorite book or his laptop, if he had work for the museum to finish. Sometimes - the best times, they all agreed - Kei would wordlessly lay his head in one of their laps for a nap, long legs tucked tightly to fit with his knees pulled up to his chest. Though he couldn’t actually purr, Kei did let out an approving hum as his selected pillow would run their fingers through his short blond hair, dragging their nails lightly over his scalp. They'd know Kei had truly fallen asleep when the stiff little ball he'd rolled into finally relaxed, limp arms and legs stretching out in all directions, hanging over the back and sides of the couch or even trailing on the floor. Just like a cat, as Tetsu'd commented time after time. One who felt safe in his surroundings, and had found a very nice, warm patch of sunlight.
Generally, therefore, it was Keiji who received the most “Tsukki cuddles”, to the great envy of their boyfriends.
But after the sun went down, Kei always sought out their hands indiscriminately. Walking between bars, leaving a movie theatre, or out late shopping. Once the day had turned dark Kei always held fast to one of them, no matter how loud or generally annoying he purportedly found them to be. They’d asked him why that was, once. It was Tetsurou who voiced it. Koutarou and Keiji had been wondering also, but were hesitant to bring it up in case Kei became self-conscious and stopped reaching for them (a very real possibility).
“I don’t see well in the dark,” was all Kei told them.
Well, they all knew Kei didn’t have the greatest vision. He’d been wearing glasses since, like, forever. So they took turns holding his hand, carefully steering him around sign posts and letting him know when there was a sudden drop. It was charming. Endearing. A pleasant excuse to hold hands when really, no excuse was needed.
They didn’t know it was getting worse with time.
Tokyo, being as close to the ocean as the city was, often had overcast weather. Something Kou and Keiji periodically griped about, but Kei and Tetsu didn’t mind. They loved drizzly days spent indoors. Outdoors, too. Kei and Tetsurou would usually volunteer to step out to the store on rainy days like that, the pair relishing their peaceful walks together under a shared umbrella. However, unlike Kei, Tetsu enjoyed clear blue skies just as much as the others. It was only Kei who avoided direct sun at all costs, closing blinds and practically hissing at the bright glare if they dragged him outdoors.
Koutarou accused him of having a “skin thing’, that his aversion to the sun was really a plan to ensure Kei would have perfect skin unblemished by wrinkles while the rest of them grew old and grey together. But that wasn’t it, Kei had protested, blushing strawberry-red again at the insinuation that they would still all be together after that many years . No, he said, it was just that the bright light hurt his eyes.
Which was obvious, once they gave it any thought at all. Kei probably owned nearly a dozen pairs of sunglasses which he left scattered all around like a trail of breadcrumbs leading back to him. A couple in the car’s glove compartment, one on the shelf where they all tended to throw down their keys, at least one in his messenger bag at all times. One pair in their duffle bag of beach things, from that time they’d arrived at the shore only for Kei to discover he’d forgotten his. They bought them from a kiosk at an exorbitantly high price, but it had been worth it, as Kei was clearly miserable until he finally slid them on.
The revelation finally came one night, without any warning.
The sweet old lady who managed their apartment building loved Koutarou. Which was no surprise to any of them. Sweet old ladies always loved Koutarou. It helped that he returned their earnest fondness with his own, always going out of the way to help them across the street (Keiji once saw him extend this offer to an old woman who’d merely paused at the crosswalk on her jog. She accepted,) and carried their groceries or cat kennels or whatever else they needed. They usually had fresh fruit or home baked goods in their flat from Koutarou’s ‘suitors’, as Keiji jokingly referred to them. But in any case, when Mrs. Arataka went on holiday to visit her grandchildren, she gave the master keys to Kou in case they were needed in her absence.
Which brought the four to where they currently lay, on the roof of their apartment building, access having been granted unintentionally by dear old Arataka-san.
They passed around a bottle of sweet liqueur Tetsu had found in the back of a kitchen cabinet, more for the aesthetic of it than any real desire to get drunk. But the combination of the alcohol, warm summer air, and good company was enough to intoxicate them all a little anyhow. They laughed a little harder at Kei’s dry quips and Kou’s antics than they normally would have, they smiled wider and fell into each other's arms a little easier. Everything was relaxed. Fluid. It was a perfect moment, another bright jewel of a memory to tuck away into their treasure chests.
The conversation started innocently enough.
“The nights are too bright in Tokyo,” Keiji sighed. They all looked up to the sky, which was lit by an orange haze despite the sun having set some hours before. Light pollution, from the millions of street lamps and flashing neon signs and cars and porch lights and… everything. The product of too many people living all stacked up on one another in an area of land far too small for them all, yet they crowded together regardless.
Kou perked up. “We should go camping again soon!”
“Bro, that’s a great idea!” Tetsu agreed enthusiastically. He was perched on Kou’s lap, the two of them having ended up in that position after a round of vigorous wrestling with no clear winner. “Remember that one place we went to, south of here?”
“Yes, that campsite was beautiful,” Keiji agreed. He and Kei lay side by side on the fluffy quilt they’d carried up here, hands loosely entwined. “Remember the last night we were there?”
“Yeah!” Koutaro nodded, slightly shaking Tetsu from the force of it. Tetsu simply held on tighter in response. “The lake was so still, it was like a mirror!”
“And all the stars were reflected in it. It was a perfectly clear night,” Tetsu added, sounding rather dreamy as he recalled it.
“That’s probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Keiji hummed. “We should definitely go back.”
“I can’t see stars,” Kei said.
“Well, yeah,” Tetsu laughed. “We were just saying, it’s too bright here.”
“That’s why we gotta go camping!” Kou chimed in happily. “Keiji, you think there’s any spots left we can book?”
“Maybe. Remind me to check when we get back downstairs. We also have to see if we can all get the same days off work…”
“Let’s just call in sick.”
“No, Tetsurou.”
“I can’t ever see stars,” Kei said. He wasn’t looking at any of them, eyes fixed on the smoggy glow above them.
“What do you mean, Kei?” Kou asked curiously. Tetsu and Keiji were both silent, waiting to hear his answer.
“I just can’t. Well, maybe a couple of the really bright ones, like Polaris. But… Yeah. No stars. Not for years, now.”
“Shit, that sucks,” Tetsu frowned. “You should get your prescription checked.”
“I can make you an appointment with the optometrist tomorrow if you want,” Keiji offered. He knew about Kei’s aversion to talking on the phone.
“That’s not the problem. It wouldn’t help. I’m,” Kei huffed out a harsh breath. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”
“No, wait.” Tetsu picked himself up off Kou and stepped between Kei and the door before he could flee. “I don’t understand. Why can’t you see stars?”
“Shitty eyes, remember?” Kei pointed to his glasses with an exaggerated, sardonic gesture. “Now is this inquisition finished, or do you need to find the thumbscrews?”
“Kei. Come on, we were just curious.” Keiji sighed. Why did Kei always have to get so prickly and defensive over the most harmless things?
“And you got your answer. So.” Kei stepped toward the door again, but Tetsu blocked his retreat once more. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“Kei.” His shoulders stiffened as Koutarou called his name, low and soft. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
“It’s not… It’s nothing important all right? It really is just my eye thing.”
“Wait.” Keiji was standing too, now. “‘Eye thing’?”
Kei groaned and buried his face in his hands. He must have gotten exceptionally frustrated, because he didn’t even avoid smudging his lenses. “Retinitis pigmentosa.”
“What… is that?” Tetsu asked carefully.
“Will you ever let up… Ugh. It’s an eye thing, like I said. Genetic. I guess my grandfather had it too.”
“And what does that mean for you?” Keiji gently laid a hand on Kei’s arm, and he flinched at the contact.
“Oh, you know.” Kei’s voice was sounding off, now. Damp, and cracking at the edges. “Blind spots. Light sensitivity. Color blindness at some point, probably. And in a few decades, uh.”
His composure was slipping, they could all see it. Koutarou strode forward and gathered Kei up, letting him hide his face in Kou’s chest, muffling what he said next.
“In a few decades, give or take, I’ll… lose it all. Maybe.”
They were all silent for a long moment, frozen in the wake of Kei’s confession. Tokyo’s a big city. Crowded. There were probably sirens echoing up from the street, music playing through a neighbor’s window. But all they could hear was Kei’s shuddering breaths, and his final words before he lost to his tears entirely.
“I’ll go blind.”