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Monroe Vox was, of course, tasked with the requests of others. Whether it be running errands for household cleaning materials, emergency grocery store trips, or impromptu visits to the local beauty store, they were more or less the chore-boy for the residents of the House of Lamentation. Not this time, however. No, instead they were tasked with getting information from Purgatory Hall. Simeon had requested them to find out more about the royal butler, Barbatos.
“For merely gift purposes. I heard Luke was wanting to surprise Barbatos with a cake. It *is* near his birthday, after all, and I understand you and Barbatos are close.” Simeon laughed, his voice wavering with unease.
“Right. So you want to take Barbatos out on a date, but you’re using me so he won’t suspect anything.” MV replied, their gaze locking with Simeons. Boy, they really hope the eyebags weren’t bad today.
“I-uh,, mh uh,” Simeon stammered, “you won’t tell anyone, right?”
“I wouldn’t hear the end of it if I did. So your little secret is safe with me.” The concept of Asmo getting a hold on Simeon's, ahem, little but its actually a big boy crush would be a fate worse than death. “I’ll get some general details from him, and I’ll give it to you probably in the next couple of days. Though after I record the info, I don’t guarantee anything about privacy. I’m not the one to lie to people.” Simeon felt sweat run down the back of his neck, his face flushed a brilliant shade of red.
Vox walked up to the side entrance of the castle. It was shrouded with exotic and magical flowers, each giving off different effects. What effects they give off, Vox is not sure, but they are certain that they would make for some damn good floral arrangements. Opening the door, MV walks into a kitchen lightly dusted with flour, the soft artificial sunlight hitting the tables so the crystal windows leave their patterns on the tables. Vox looks around, and soon finds Barbatos in a room adjacent, one that is largely used for more hearty kitchen tasks. There was a stark contrast to this room, with the industrial pots and pans being lit up with large overhead lights. It smelled like cleaning supplies. Ugh, the smell of dishwashing was strong. Better get this done quickly.
“Hey Barbatos. I do apologize if I have disturbed you, but could I ask you some questions? I have to interrogate you for something."
“Oh! Monroe, it’s so nice to see you! Please, ask away. The young master is working late, so I have time before I prepare dinner.” Barbatos gave off that indifferent smile, making Vox shudder. They knew there were good intentions behind it, but it was unsettling? To say at the least.
“Awesome. Full disclosure, I did not write any of this, I will spare you the details of how this landed in my grubby little paws for now. They seriously read like a middle school sleepover prompt." Monroe waved their hands around, almost as if they were trying to clear any nervous energy that was floating around "Anyway, would you have any interest in pursuing a relationship. More or less, what is your sexuality?” Monroe stared at the questions Simeon scribbled out for them. Damn, this is a hell of a way to break the ice.
Barbatos laughed “Are you sure you aren't trying to get information from me to take me on a date?"
“I'm just the middle man in this altercation, dude."
“I usually don’t disclose personal information, nor do I tend to label myself. However, I don’t care what gender my partner identifies as. Though, I would like to have a standing connection with them before I engage any further. Does that work?”
“Works for me. Data is data. Next, what do you like as gifts?”
“That is a, very strange question. Don’t you think?”
“I didn’t write these but I have to agree. Whoever wrote these seems very interested in you.”
“Indeed they do. If I receive gifts, I do like them to mean a lot to the person giving the gift. Though, I will be selfish and say that I enjoy exotic flavors of tea, as well as herbs.”
“Yeah I could see that. Next, where is your ideal location to go on an outing?”
“I quite enjoy scenic views. There is a restaurant in the downtown area that opened up that overlooks a river, and they recently fixed the lighting. It's a gorgeous view, especially on the terrace. I have been meaning to check the restaurant out.”
“Oh yeah I’ve been there! Belphie took me there once. I ordered the serpent ribs, they were really good. Albeit, they were super messy. Belphie got some of the sauce in his hair. Okay, next question. When do you have the most leniency in your schedule?”
“Are you sure you aren’t trying to ask me out on a date, Vox?” Barbatos cocked an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk spreading across his face. He chuckled.
“Of course I’d be delighted to go out for dinner to catch up, but I have seven hooligans at home who take up a lot of my attention. I’m afraid that if I’m away for too long, someone is going to start a turf war for who gets to sleep in my bed. I don't want them to break my bedframe again.” Vox reciprocated the chuckle. The brothers were very much a handful and they acted like they were starved of attention, constantly.
“I see, well, we should definitely pick out a date in which they are busy so we can talk over lunch or dinner. Though, I would consider myself free on Fridays and Saturdays. The young lord uses those days to catch up on sleep, and once he is asleep, he will not wake up for anything besides a visit from you or Lucifer.”
“Awh, I’m flattered. But anyway, I think that I have all of my questions answered by now, so I am good. Thank you for helping out!” Monroe waved as they walked out of the kitchen, their boots making imprints on the occasional rug.
-----
Monroe read over the notes that they had made for Simeon whilst sitting at their desk. Whether they were necessary or not, Vox wrote in their own tidbits about their experiences with Barbatos. ‘He’s a clever bastard, he’ll catch onto you quickly. Be careful.’ There was a knock at the door. MV jumped, they always startle so easily.
Vox opened the door, and there was Lucifer. He smiled ominously and nodded as he entered, taking the seat that Monroe previously sat in.
“So, I heard you visited with Barbatos today?” Vox sat on the bed and crossed their legs.
“That is correct.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Nothing much. Some research, I guess would be the correct term? Anyway don’t freak out over it, I don’t have any plans to go on a heist with Mammon or anything.”
Lucifer chuckled “I’m not worried about your activities there, Barbatos would have let me know if anything happened. However, he did mention that you were busy dealing with ‘seven hooligans at home.’”
Monroe laughed “Oh, I forgot about that, didn't I? Anyway, it’s the truth. I have to deal with the antics that you and your brothers have to get up to on a daily basis. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if I left any of you alone for a prolonged period of time.” Lucifer frowned. “Don’t worry, I trust all of you. It is just, moreso, you guys are very emotionally swayed and tend to be very dramatic, and uh, sometimes lack critical thinking skills.”
“You don’t need to worry over me. I appreciate the concern, but I can handle my brothers myself. I’m mature enough to not include myself in their shenanigans.”
Vox shot him a tired look. “You say that, but just two days ago I found you scattered in a pile of Levi’s manga looking for a specific panel that you thought was funny. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“Isn’t that a term used for parents and their children?”
“In most cases sure, but aren’t you technically Satan’s father? Like, I know you raised him like your brother but at the same time there is still a large age gap between you and your brothers.”
Lucifer contorted his face. “If you continue in that direction, I will have to punish you.”
MV squinted at Lucifer. “I really don’t consider you railing me into your mattress a punishment, maybe not right now though. I have to drop a paper thing at Purgatory Hall, so I have to get going before dinner.” Despite their statement, there was a slight blush on their paper-white skin. Lucifer smirked.
“I could always accompany you to Purgatory Hall. I have been meaning to pick up a record that Simeon got from the Celestial Realm. Though, I am still quite concerned you consider me a ‘hooligan.’”
Monroe got up from their seat on the bed, and walked over to Lucifer and squished his face between their palms. If any brother were to see this, oh, it would be a nightmare. Monroe shook their head at the thought and squished Lucifer's face further, and smiled warmly.
“I use the term hooligan in the best possible way to describe you. Sure, you guys are a handful and act like wild animals on a regular basis, but you still are all my boyfriends. I still think you are one of the greatest gifts I’ve been given in my lifetime.” Monroe gently placed lips onto Lucifer’s, and moved their hands to deepen the kiss. They cradled Lucifer’s head in their hands as he kissed back, and gently opened their eyes once they parted. “I love you, from the bottom of my heart, you mean so much to me, sweetheart.” They hugged Lucifer and rested their head on his shoulders, feeling as though their affection for the demon was tangible.
“We should be on our way to Purgatory Hall if we want to make it back in time for dinner.” Monroe commented, their voice muffled in the dark robes Lucifer wears.
Lucifer tightened his grip on MV, pulling them into a deeper hug. “Let’s go, I wouldn’t like for Beel to get to my food before I do.”
---
Simeon felt light headed. It was a simple task, just asking Barbatos out to dinner in a romantic context. Still, why did his head feel so light and his limbs feel so heavy?