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The Story Of Cyborg Ciderman Number Two And His Sidekick!

Summary:

Saikechi oneshot, featuring Yuuta!

I tried.

Alt title: Akechi = Lenny Face

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

What a pain. A headache, now?

Well, it wasn't a premonition headache, but more a metaphorical headache. He knew it was coming because he could hear her thoughts loud and clear. But she wasn't the headache.

Saiki groaned.

"Kusuo-kun? What's wrong?"

Akechi tapped Saiki's arm to get his attention.

'You'll see.'

"I'll see? What do you mean by that? Are you implying that there is some sort of future event that will take place today? Or maybe in a larger time span? Is it something bad? Do you find something out via telepathy? You seem annoyed, so is it-"

And then Kurumi barges into his room, chirpy as ever, with her purse in her hands and her makeup done.

"Ku-chan? I'm going out for coffee with Mrs. Iridatsu! Yuuta will be coming over in a bit. Can you two be trusted with him for a while?"

Saiki could almost hear the gears in Akechi's head turn.

"Yuuta? Who's Yuuta? And who's Mrs. Iridatsu? Are they related? His mother, who's his mother? They're coming here? Wow, I don't often meet new people, and since he doesn't go to our school, I haven't heard of him. Is he another one of your friends, Kusuo-kun? Does he visit often? From what little information your mother has given us, I can deduct that Mrs. Iridatsu is a friend of hers, and Yuuta is a friend of yours? Am I correct?"

'Not exactly.'

Then the doorbell rang.

"Hey, Kusuo-kun? Can we go to the door to greet him? I'm curious to see who this mystery person is, because if they're anything like you, I know we'll get along just fine!"

'Stop being sappy. Yes, we can go.'

********************

"See you later, Ku-chan, Akechi-kun!"

Kurumi walked out of the house as Yuuta walked in, immediately clinging onto Saiki's leg.

"Oh dear, I didn't expect Yuuta to be a small child. I estimate he's about four years old? No, five... And he seems to be very attached to you, clinging onto your leg like that. Almost reminds me of myself," he chuckled. "I'm afraid I'm not very good with children, as I tend to intimidate them with my wordy spiels. I try to reassure them that I'm not as cold and overbearing as I may come off as, but it never seems to work."

Yuuta held on a bit tighter.

"Cyborg Ciderman Number Two, who is that? Is he a bad guy?"

'No, he-'

Akechi kneeled to talk to Yuuta.

"Ah! So you're a fan of Cyborg Ciderman? I must admit, I'm quite fond of it as well. From the lighting work to the acting, and the intricate plotline! I could go on and on about it!"

'Please don't. And also, since when do you-'

"What is he saying? He's talking about Cyborg Ciderman Number Two, and you're Cyborg Ciderman Number Two! Hey, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two, he's scary! Can you beat him up? You can do it with your Cider Blasters!"

'Must you say the full name every single ti-'

"Well, that's awfully rude of you, Yuuta-kun! I can assure you, I am no villain. Also, I noticed you were calling Kusuo-kun 'Cyborg Ciderman Number Two.' Why is that?"

Yuuta let go of Saiki and pointed his hand out at Akechi.

"Hey, who's Kussu? You're not talking about Cyborg Ciderman Number Two, are you?"

This time, it was nearly an audible "click".

"Wait, are you saying that you're saying that Kusuo-kun is Cyborg Ciderman Number Two? Kusuo-kun? What is he referring to?"

Saiki sighed as both Yuuta and Akechi looked up at him, confused.

'Yuuta calls me Cyborg Ciderman because- "

"Because he did the Cider Jump! He went and grabbed my balloon from up high! He went all woooooooooosh and then he gave it to me! And then, he brought me to my mommy, and we went all fwoooooom and it was so cool!"

This time, it was like the jingle of a little bell. Maybe a light bulb.

"Okay, I think I understand now. So, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two? Why haven't you taken me flying yet?" said Akechi, grinning.

Good grief.

'Well, we can discuss- "

"Hey, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two? Who is he? You still haven't told me."

"Well, I can assure you I am definitely not a bad guy. I have no intentions of harming or fighting whom you like to address as "Cyborg Ciderman", seeing how we are very close. I have no evil intentions at all, although there's really no way for me to prove this to you. You could, of course, ask him for a second opinion if you don't believe me."

Akechi looked up eagerly at Saiki.

"So is he good, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two? Do we have him as an ally?"

'Yes.'

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that from you, Kusuo-kun. Although, Yuuta, I am not only an ally. I am Cyborg Ciderman Number Two's sidekick."

...

'Sidekick?'

"Sidekick?"

Yuuta was about to jump onto Akechi when he stopped himself.

"Hey, wait a second. If you're Cyborg Ciderman Number Two's sidekick, how come you never come out in the comics? Or on the TV show?"

Akechi chuckled.

"I'm his little well-kept secret. You don't hear about me, because I work behind the scenes. I help Cyborg Ciderman Number Two in his secret base. You could say I'm the brains behind the operation. I come up with all his super-genius plans! Isn't that right, Kusuo-kun? Or should I say, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two?"

'You're getting ahead of yourself. I never said-'

"Wow! That's so cool!"

"It certainly is!"

'It is not.'

"Yuuta-kun, would you like to watch Cyborg Ciderman? I'm sure Kusuo-kun- Cyborg Ciderman Number Two wouldn't mind," said Akechi, ignoring Saiki's statement.

'Hey, I never-'

"Yeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" yelled Yuuta.

Yuuta was screaming and bouncing. Akechi was turning on the TV in the living room.

It was too late now.

Akechi sat down on the couch, while Yuuta sat on the floor, taking an action figure out of his bag.

'Hey, that's the same action figure I have. I wonder where he got it.'

...

'Seriously?'

Saiki sat down next to Akechi. The most he could do without getting unwanted attention from Yuuta was wrap his arm around Akechi's shoulder.

Akechi yelped before easing into it.

'Seriously? That scared you.'

Akechi's face flushed.

"Not scared. Startled. If you'd like, I can explain the differences."

'Please don't. I have enough annoyances with Yuuta screaming his head off.'

"So mean, Kusuo-kun..." he grumbled under his breath.

An entire episode of Cyborg Ciderman was irritating enough, but with Akechi's thoughts and Yuuta's yelling, Saiki thought his head would explode.

And then Yuuta finally said something other than "yeeeeeeaaaah" or "cool".

"Hey, if you're Cyborg Ciderman Number Two's sidekick, what's your superhero name?" said Yuuta.

"Ah, I'm afraid I don't have a superhero name. I'm only Akechi. Although I suppose I could come up with a hero name, it probably wouldn't be any good. I'd like to stick with my given name, seeing how I'm not very creative."

"Awwwww, you're no fun."

"I'll have to disagree with that statement. I do believe that I can be very fun, depending on the occasion."

"Hey Cyborg Ciderman Number Two, your sidekick's talking too fast. I don't know what he's saying."

'Then ignore him.'

Akechi gasped dramatically, cupping a hand over his mouth and leaning back.

"I can't believe you, Kusuo-kun! Treating me like that, considering our relationship. Ah, don't look at me like that. You have to be nice if you want cookies."

Yuuta's eyes lit up.

"Cookies?"

"Ah, yes; I have brought a snack. Though Kusuo-kun very much enjoys my company, even if he refuses to admit it, he still lets me inside a lot quicker if I offer him sweets. I usually bring him coffee jelly, since it's his absolute favorite treat, but I wanted to experiment with my baking, and I know Kusuo-kun doesn't mind, right Kusuo-kun?"

...

"Anyway, I wanted to make butterscotch cookies, since they were next on my list. I've comprised a list of desserts and such that I would like to attempt to bake, and it's been very useful when it comes to-"

"Hey, I want to eat cookies now. You talk too much."

'Ouch. But I agree with him.'

"I'm going to ignore your little comment because I know that you didn't mean it. I have the cookies in my bag, but you two will need to sit down in-"

'Cider teleport!'

And with that, Saiki and Yuuta were promptly seated at the kitchen table, ready for cookies.

Akechi sighed and joined them.

"Wow! You have so many cool powers, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two!" said Yuuta.

'Again with the stupid name?'

"Even though I agree with Yuuta-kun, you didn't have to teleport. The kitchen's only ten meters away from the couch-"

"I want cookies!"

'What he said.'

Akechi was trying his best to contain his laughter.

"Alright, hold on! I considered making four large cookies, but then I considered the ingredients, the baking time, and overall convenience, so I instead decided to shape the dough into a dozen small portions, which should be evenly split between the three of us. I certainly wasn't planning on the serving sizes for three people, otherwise I'd have to have ESP. It is nice how it turned out though, isn't it?"

Akechi pulled three small plates out of the cabinet and set them on the table in front of each of them. He started to pull the little box of cookies from his bag, only to be interrupted by Saiki.

'Cider float!'

Three cookies floated onto Saiki's plate, and one into his mouth.

"Hey, Cider float me some cookies!"

"Cider float? Really Kusuo-kun, how childish of you! I enjoy your frequent displays of power as much as Yuuta does, but you could've been more patient."

'You took too long,' Saiki projected as he "Cider Floated" four cookies onto Yuuta's plate.

"Yay! Cookies!" yelled Yuuta.

Akechi began to eat his own cookies, scoffing internally at their immaturity.

'Hey, Yuuta. Say thank you to Tou- my sidekick, for the cookies.'

Yuuta mumbled through a mouthful of cookies, then swallowed and tried again.

"Thank you for the cookies, mister."

"Mister? That sounds awfully formal, but I'll allow it. It makes me sound respectable," said Akechi with his chest puffed out.

'When really, you're just as much of a child as he is.'

"Look who's talking, Mr. Cider Float. You certainly have the patience of a child, Kusuo-kun. I can't blame you though, since I know how delicious my pastries are."

Saiki rolled his eyes.

"Oh, stop it, you know I'm only teasing you. And what fun it is to do so! But don't call me childish when you couldn't even wait a minute for your cookies. Also, you've forgotten to say thank you."

'Thank you.'

"That's better. I'll tell your mother you behaved."

'Shut up.'

"Hey mister, you make good cookies. I wish I had some Cyborg Ciderman Number Two Strawberry Cider to drink with them. Hey, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two, do you have any cider?"

'No. Now let me eat.'

Yuuta stood up from his seat.

"I want cider. Get us some cider, Cyborg Ciderman Number Two."

"While I appreciate being included in this, and I would like some cider, Yuuta-kun, I think you should ask nicely if you want a drink. One of the qualities of a good hero is being kind and considerate," said Akechi.

Yuuta sat back down.

"Sorry. Can I please have some cider?"

Akechi and Yuuta looked at Saiki as quietly and calmly as they could.

...

Saiki sighed.

'I'll get the stupid cider.'

"Yaaaaaaaayyyy!"

'You made him calm down, now make him stop screaming.'

"Yuuta-kun, calm down."

Yuuta stopped yelling.

'Why does he listen to you? That's not fair.'

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Akechi said, smirking.

'You absolutely do not," Saiki projected while shooting a cold look.

Akechi giggled and Yuuta had no idea what was going on. Probably secret Cyborg business.

'You bribed him with cookies. That's cheating.'

Saiki reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He carefully counted out 600 yen.

"Oh! Are you going to treat us to another demonstration of your many powers?"

'No. Cider Teleport!'

A light flashed, and Saiki was gone.

"Whoooooaaaaa! That was so cool! Hey mister, did you see that? That was awesome!" said Yuuta.

"I must agree with you," said Akechi, pressing a hand to his chest. "That was certainly awe-inspiring, but Kusuo-kun should be a bit more considerate. He might give me heart palpitations if he keeps deciding to simply brandish his powers without any warning."

"What does all that mean?"

Akechi sighed.

Him and Yuuta went back to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"Never mind that. Would you like to do something while we wait for Kusuo-kun to come back?"

"We could talk about Cyborg Ciderman Number Two. I love Cyborg Ciderman Number Two!"

Now that he could do.

"How many volumes of the manga have you read?" said Akechi.

Yuuta blinked.

"What are you talking about? I've read all the comics, but I don't know what 'mango' is."

Maybe something simpler would work.

"Have you read the chapter where Cyborg Ciderman Number Two fights the Baron Cola when he's terrorizing a small child? When he was trying to learn how to defend against his lemon cider attack?"

Yuuta's eyes lit up.

"Yeah! That one was so cool!"

"Well, did you know that the man- ah, well, the author was saying that he got the original sponsorship when he..."

********************

Three strawberry ciders.

Saiki didn't care much for the drink, but what was the point of getting one for Akechi and Yuuta if he wasn't going to get one for himself?

Oops, it's been ten minutes now. He better get back before they burn the house down.

********************

Saiki appeared in a flash of light in front of the couch.

"Ahhh! Kusuo-kun, you frightened me! I don't think I'll ever get used to your teleportation."

'Sorry.'

Yuuta ran to him and clinged onto his leg for the second time that day.

"Yay! Cyborg Ciderman Number Two! Hey, your friend is so smart! He knows everything about you, and the bad guys and the comics! You should let him fight with you. He'd help you win for sure!" said Yuuta.

"Yuuta-kun has quite the collection of Cyborg Ciderman manga and merchandise. I never saw any reason or purpose to collect any sort of memorabilia, but I must say, it's rather impressive, what he's put together," said Akechi. "He was telling me about it."

'Since when are you two best friends?'

"Don't be ridiculous, Kusuo-kun. No one could ever replace you, if that's what you're worried about."

...

'I got the cider.'

Saiki handed a bottle to Akechi and Yuuta. Yuuta sat down on the floor and turned the TV back on. Saiki sat on the sofa next to Akechi, and tried his best to ignore Yuuta's screams of excitement.

Akechi rested his head on Saiki's shoulder and sighed.

"I miss having you all to myself," he whispered.

'It hasn't even been a full day.'

"I don't care."

Saiki took a peek to make sure Yuuta wasn't looking, then he gave Akechi a small peck on the cheek.

'Cider Kiss!'

Akechi started to laugh into Saiki's sleeve.

'What?'

"I'm sorry. You kinda ruined it by saying 'Cider Kiss'."

'Oh really? I thought you were my sidekick?'

"I am."

'I feel betrayed.'

"Noooo, I'm sorry!" Akechi returned Saiki's kiss. "Cider Kiss!"

'Now who's being cheesy?'

Akechi laughed harder.

"Hey, you're being too loud. I'm trying to watch."

'See? Even he wants you to be quiet.'

"Ah yes, but he's a child. What's your excuse for being so rude to me?"

...

"I thought so."

It was another click, but not from Akechi.

"Yuuta? We're back!"

"Mommy!"

Yuuta ran up to his mother, clinging to her this time.

"Hello, Ku-chan! We're home," said Kurumi, waving.

'Hi, mom. Hello, Mrs. Iridatsu.'

"Did my little Yuuta behave himself?"

'He was-'

"He behaved himself wonderfully, ma'am. We had a great time with him."

"Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! Maybe I'll bring him more often."

Saiki looked over at Akechi.

'No, no, no, no, no-'

"Ah, we'll have to see what Mrs. Saiki's plans are beforehand."

Iridatsu seemed pleased enough with that, and she grabbed Yuuta's hand.

"Come on, Yuuta, we're going home. Say your goodbyes."

"Goodbye Cyborg Ciderman Number Two! Goodbye Cyborg Ciderman Number Two's sidekick!"

Iridatsu walked out of the door and Kurumi closed it behind her.

"Did you two have a good time with Yuuta?"

...

'Close enough.'

Saiki left to his room.

"Hmm? Ku-chan? What is that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, forgive him Mrs. Saiki. Kusuo-kun has had a long day, said Akechi.

Akechi followed Saiki into his room, closing the door behind him.

"Cider Hug!" yelled Akechi, coming up behind Saiki, who was sitting at his desk, and wrapping his arms around him.

'How many times are you going to make fun of me for that?'

"A long time. Maybe even forever. I don't think I'll ever forget it."

Saiki sighed hoping that he would forget it by next week.

Of course, he could always erase his memory...

********************

"Kusuo-kun!"

Saiki turned around to see Akechi waving at him from his locker.

'Hi.'

"There's no one around..."

'School finished, why would anyone be around?'

"We're here, aren't we?"

...

Akechi mumbled something before kissing Saiki on the lips.

"I was waiting all day to do that."

'You need to find better things to obsess over during the day. Also, what did you say?'

"Hmm? Whatever are you talking about?"

'You said something, just now.'

"Cider Kiss!" yelled Akechi before giving Saiki another kiss.

'I hate you.'

"I know that's a lie."

'It's been six months.'

"Six months, twelve days and three hours. You've been counting too?"

'You are the worst.'

"I am the best and you know it," said Akechi, chuckling.

'Yes, you are.'

"So you admit it? Ah, I knew soon enough, the scales would fall from your eyes, and you could see the truth; the truth I've been reiterating for so lo-"

'I take it back. I hate you again.'

Akechi laughed as Saiki started to walk away.

Notes:

I was sitting down, doing nothing when I started thinking of when Saiki said "cider eject" to get rid of Nendou.

And then I had the idea to make Saiki say "Cider Everything".

And so a oneshot was born.

I'm stupid.

Thank you for reading!

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