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Feathertail still sleeps at her side. She can't sleep on top of Mistyfoot anymore, the way she used to, but she sleeps with her head tucked under Mistyfoot's. It's a soft image, but Stonefur wonders, Misty, what happened to you?, because she doesn't fall asleep unless Feathertail is there.
"You should eat."
"I'm not hungry."
Mistyfoot stares at him, but he doesn't back down.
"Mistyfoot, you haven't eaten all day."
"I'm not hungry, Stonefur," she snaps.
He takes a deep breath. Mistyfoot bristles, and he knows she's trying to find a way out of the conversation.
"Feathertail is worried about you," he tries. "She was the one who said you hadn't eaten." Mistyfoot's fur flattens, but she says nothing. "You could share a...small fish with her. Let her know you're okay."
"She's worried?" Mistyfoot's voice is soft, and she blinks a few times. "I'm really not hungry."
"I know," Stonefur says. "Just — have a bite or two. Let her know you're trying."
She takes a breath, something in her expression shifting. Mistyfoot walks past him, her tail brushing over his shoulder. Hungry or not, she needs to eat. A few bites is a start, but it's not enough.
Maybe he'll have better luck tomorrow.
The moon is setting, and Mistyfoot is still awake. Stonefur has fallen asleep and woken twice, and both times, she's been out. This time, though, he does not wake up on his own.
Feathertail is silent now, staring at them with her ear flattened and her whole body drawn back, but she's panting, and her scream was loud enough that even Stormheart is shifting awake.
"Feathertail?"
She looks up at him, and then away. "I'm sorry," she says. "I wasn't trying to disturb you, I just—"
"It's alright," Stonefur says, blinking, but she starts to shake. He takes a breath. "I'll be right back."
He leaves Feathertail and Stormheart, and Mistyfoot turns at his footsteps. "You should — come back inside," he says. He wants to say, You should sleep, but he doesn't want to fight with her again. "Feathertail is panicking."
Mistyfoot doesn't say anything to him, but concern echoes over her features, and she trots into the den. Stonefur follows, and Mistyfoot approaches Feathertail gingerly.
"Feathertail, it's alright," she soothes, licking the top of her head. "You're safe, minnow."
"I'm sorry," Feathertail says, her tail twitching anxiously. "I didn't mean to—"
"I know." Mistyfoot and Feathertail sit, Feathertail leaning into Mistyfoot. Stonefur spares a glance at Stormheart, who is watching the wall of their den. Stonefur sits beside him, and Stormheart blinks, grateful. "It's all over. You didn't do anything wrong."
Stonefur lies down as Mistyfoot guides Feathertail back into their nest. Her tail wraps around them both, and although Mistyfoot sets down her head, she does not close her eyes. Stonefur can only hope sleep comes with time.
"Let's take a walk." Shadepelt flicks her tail, and Stonefur follows in silence. She sits in the shade of a tree, and licks her paw. She tilts her head, running her paw behind her ear, and then examines him. It is strange, Stonefur thinks, that the cat who was once his apprentice has summoned him here, like she is informing him he failed his assessment. She takes a breath. "You need — to stop forcing Mistyfoot to do things."
She looks down, not meeting his eyes.
"I don't force her," Stonefur says. It tastes hollow.
"You don't give her very many choices."
"She's not eating. She's barely sleeping. She won't let Mudfur near her." Stonefur's tail swings angrily.
Shadepelt licks her paw again. "Well. She's not starving. She'll sleep eventually. And — Mudfur says she's alright."
"She can't just not eat because she's met the bare minimum. Especially considering—"
"I'm trying to help you!" Shadepelt says, cutting him off. "I'm trying to help you." She takes a breath, steadying herself. "I'm...you know, they've both been through a lot. I was in — I slept in Mudfur's den. For most of it." She licks her chest, not meeting his eyes. "Um. Mistyfoot is just trying to take care of Feathertail. That's all."
"She's not taking care of herself. Am I — supposed to not do anything?"
"The rest of us couldn't!" she shouts. She looks surprised at her own anger. "The rest of us didn't do anything when he—" She closes her eyes, and when she speaks again, it is quiet and shaking and unsure. "You're smart enough," she says, "to be able to figure out why Feathertail is the one who's hurt, aren't you?"
"Mistyfoot explained," he starts, as something starts to simmer, "how he—"
"No," Shadepelt says. "No, she didn't explain, because if she did, you wouldn't be doing this."
"I don't know what I'm doing! I'm — I'm trying to take care of her."
Shadepelt snorts. "It's all for her, isn't it? But — that's not what you tell her."
Stonefur flicks his tail. "If I tell her she needs to eat, she says she's not hungry."
"Then she's not fucking hungry, Stonefur. It's that simple."
"She's never hungry. I can't just watch my sister starve herself."
"You have no idea what a cat can watch," she snarls. She takes a long breath in, staring at a point beyond him.
"Shadepelt, I—"
"This wasn't supposed to go like this," she mutters. Tentatively, he leans forward, licking her shoulder. Her ears twitch. "Can you just promise to stop bringing Feathertail into it?"
"That's the only thing that works." Nothing he says to her works. But as soon as he mentions Feathertail, it's like—
Oh.
"He used her," he says, softly, guilt sinking from the tips of his ears to the pads of his feet. "Against Mistyfoot. And then—" He thinks of how Mistyfoot watches Feathertail, how she brings her prey, how carefully she grooms Feathertail's pelt.
"I told you," Shadepelt says. "Mistyfoot is just trying to take care of her."
There are days when he feels like the world has been tilted on its axis, and it still has not been righted.
Everything is out of time.
Stonefur is not deputy, but Leopardstar is leader.
Mistyfoot is pregnant, but her kits are dead.
Stormheart is a warrior, but Feathertail fits under his chin.
"Morning, Stonefur," Heavystep says. "Your sister around?"
Stonefur sighs. He's not deputy, but he assigns patrols more often than not. "Take Dawnpaw and Skyheart on the border patrol," he says. "And can you tell...Loudbelly and Sunfish to go hunting?"
Heavystep dips his head. Stonefur keeps walking to Mudfur's den.
"You're up early."
"Couldn't sleep." Stonefur's tail flicks. "Rough night."
Mudfur dips his head. "I got some daisy," he says. "It's starting to flower."
"Thanks."
"Tell your sister to see me," Mudfur says. "For her, not for Feathertail."
"I will." Stonefur turns, scanning camp. Leopardstar is pretending not to be looking at him. Mosspelt is pretending not to be looking at Feathertail. Stormheart is pretending not to be looking at Shadepelt. "Mudfur, can I ask you something?"
"You can ask." Mudfur sits next to him. He sees the same camp, the same cats. Mistyfoot's head pokes out of their den, but she turns back inside.
He takes a breath. "What am I supposed to do?"
"In general?"
"With Mistyfoot." Everything wrong threatens to spill out of him, but Mudfur already knows, and Stonefur doesn't know if he can face it all at once.
Mudfur sighs, and he takes a moment before he responds. "She — is with kits," he begins. "She has been for...a while. In an unsafe environment. Everything else withstanding, it's reasonable for her to be anxious." Mudfur takes a breath, and Stonefur waits for him to continue. "I'm concerned that she doesn't seem to want to acknowledge this, but I suspect that's why you're asking me."
Stonefur nods.
"I was a warrior, once," Mudfur says. It's not a secret. Leopardstar is his daughter. "And the last battle I fought, I just — thought of how desperately I wanted my daughter to be safe. So I fought alone." He looks straight at Stonefur. "Sometimes you feel like you're the only one protecting someone, even if that's not true."
"Thank you," Stonefur says. He means it more, this time.
Mistyfoot races back to camp searching for Feathertail.
Stonefur sits in a spot of sun and wonders if he did this.
Mistyfoot won't talk about her kits, so Stonefur tries Feathertail, sitting beside her as she lets the sun dry her pelt.
"Mistyfoot isn't doing well," he says, and she scowls.
"Try telling her."
He takes a deep breath. "I think we should talk to her. About the kits."
Feathertail tenses. "She doesn't want to talk about that."
"I know. But she needs to." Stonefur blinks, trying to put Feathertail at ease. "She needs to plan."
Feathertail stands up. "She doesn't want to talk about it, Stonefur. So — that's that."
"I went swimming," Stormheart says. He looks proud. He's only wet up to his belly fur, but his eyes shine with joy.
Stonefur bunts his temple against Stormheart. "Was it fun?"
Stormheart's tail flicks. "It was just me and Feathertail and Shadepelt. It was — fine."
But he purrs, and Stonefur suspects it was more than that.
"Mudfur wants to see you," he tries.
"I don't want to see him."
Feathertail is staring at a pile of flowers.
Stonefur sits beside her, and she glances up at him.
"Mistyfoot is pregnant," she says. "Just over a moon, give or take."
He narrows his eyes. "I thought you didn't want to talk about this.
"I don't." Feathertail separates out a few flowers carefully. She rests her paw on them, but doesn't move further. "But it's true."
"Did something change?"
Feathertail sighs, as if she expected the flowers to tangle themselves together. "Yes. No. I don't know. I—" She blinks, her ear folding back slightly. "She's not, so she's not. But she is. She's — she's supposed to do something. But she's left on patrol and that can't be right and—"
"She's going to be fine," Stonefur says. He crouches down, leveling his gaze with Feathertail. "But we should talk to her about it."
"Okay," Feathertail says. "Will you — bring these back to Shadepelt? I'm going to try to sleep."
Stonefur hasn't forgotten what Shadepelt told him. He's certain that she won't discuss her kits without Feathertail there, but that doesn't mean he can't try something.
"We didn't talk about Feathertail," he says. He has rehearsed this, after she ran from him the first time. "But I think we should."
"I don't know what you want to talk about."
Stonefur takes a breath, guilt and anger and grief a lump in the back of his throat. "You both—" he sticks, what he was going to say slipping from him, "—deserve space. You should be able to leave camp without one of you panicking, Mistyfoot."
Mistyfoot doesn't say anything. She's looking past him, and Stonefur would wager Feathertail is there. But she doesn't run.
"At least for her sake. She deserves to feel safe." It feels cruel to be bringing up Feathertail's sake, but he's not sure Mistyfoot would agree to anything if he didn't at least mention her.
Mistyfoot looks back at him. She's scared, and it's not old fear. "I don't—" Her voice breaks. He leans forward, touching his nose to her shoulder.
"I know." He thinks he does, thinks he has assembled enough to guess. Stonefur shifts, sitting beside her and watching Feathertail's chest rise and fall.
"Every time I left her, she got hurt. How can I leave her again? She deserves to be safe." Mistyfoot's head leans against him, and he licks the top of her head.
"She is safe." Mistyfoot makes a sound that means How could you know? and I don't believe you and I want that to be true. "She is safe, Misty," he repeats. "You just need to—" He stops again. He was going to say something specific, but it fails him again. He would be angry, but he thinks that would break the cautious faith Mistyfoot has placed him him. "Practice believing it," he says, and it's close enough to what he meant.
He purrs, and she says nothing.
"Small ways, little things." This part goes easier, but he adjusts, trying to shift Mistyfoot's head. She lifts it instead, turning to look at him. "Dawnflower misses her. They could go out."
"I don't know," Mistyfoot says. The way her voice shakes hurts nearly as much as dying did. "I don't know anymore."
"That's okay." He blinks softly at her. "We'll figure it out together."
"Misty," Stonefur says. "You're with kits."
She growls at him, and Feathertail flinches. It is a testament to Mistyfoot's anger that this isn't enough to stop her.
"We just want to talk," Feathertail says. She has spent so much of her time at Mistyfoot's side that it is strange to watch them stare at each other.
"I'm not—" she says. "I'm not."
She glances between them and leaps across the river, running into territory.
"She threw up this morning," Feathertail says. "And you can smell it on her."
"I know," Stonefur says. "I know." Feathertail wasn't born the last time Mistyfoot had a litter, but Stonefur has seen her go through this all before. Last time, Mistyfoot did not need to be convinced. Blackclaw celebrated, striding through camp with his chest puffed out.
Mistyfoot growls at him, now, if he even steps towards her.
The moon shrinks.
RiverClan does not sleep when the Moon does. They wait awake, guarding the night in her absence.
Exceptions are made for the young and the old, the ill and the expecting.
"Sleep," Mistyfoot soothes, because Feathertail's exhaustion radiates from her. She's been struggling to sleep, now that she's beginning to get better, but Mudfur won't give her poppy seeds, because they tend to make her nightmares worse.
Feathertail huffs, nudging Mistyfoot. "You sleep."
"Fine," Mistyfoot says. She closes her eyes, and Stonefur steps out of the den.
Stonefur presses his nose into Mistyfoot's side. She hisses.
"Mistyfoot, you need to make a plan. You're going to kit in — maybe a half moon."
"I'm not..."
"Misty," he says. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know," she says. "I don't know."
She tucks her head under his, and he purrs, saying nothing.
Mistyfoot's stomach swings only a tail's width off the ground. Stonefur watches as Feathertail pads after her, redirecting her anxious pacing back towards camp.
Feathertail catches his eye. She mutters something in Mistyfoot's ear, flicking her tail towards their den. Mistyfoot scowls, but nods, and they duck inside. Feathertail's eyes peer out, glowing in the dark.
"If we expand the den," Stormheart says, "you could — have them here."
It's brave of him to suggest. They've left him out of these discussions, because if Mistyfoot would attack any of them, it would be him.
"We don't need to expand the den," Mistyfoot says.
Feathertail looks apologetically towards Stormheart. "We could use more space anyway," she says. "And Heavystep is itching for something to do."
Mistyfoot sighs, licking at her shoulder. "Fine. Whatever."
Feathertail's whiskers twitch. It's something.
"I'm going to the Gathering," Mistyfoot says.
Leopardstar studies her, shocked. "Mistyfoot, no one would question your absence."
Mistyfoot bares her teeth. "I'm going."
Leopardstar dips her head.
"Okay," Stonefur says. "Heavystep, Sunfish, and I will get the patch ready, and Petaldust and Skyheart will make space for it."
Everyone nods. Stonefur had asked Leopardstar to leave the cats with the best skills in denmaking behind, so that they could expand the den without Mistyfoot being in camp. She might have agreed to it, but Stonefur suspects it will go easier without her here.
Stonefur glances at the sky. The moon has just pulled above the horizon. He's glad Feathertail went with Mistyfoot. He's not sure how she would have reacted to seeing their den be pulled apart.
"We're ready here," Petaldust says, the moon just reaching its highest point. "If you guys are."
"We can move this," Sunfish says. "But we'll have to be careful."
Together, they shuffle the loose collection of reeds and branches into place. Now, all that remains is to slot reeds and twigs in the gaps.
Stonefur steps back. It's not a nursery. RiverClan hasn't had to remake the nursery for seasons, but it is always repaired with the utmost of care. Time has dried mud inside its walls, sealing any gaps before they can tear into holes, and there is enough space inside for kits to play when they're small. This den is rushed work, that will hold together but only barely, that will only leave just enough space for the kits to learn to walk.
But it is a den, and it is theirs, and if it means Mistyfoot will have her kits here — will not run somewhere beyond safe — then it is good enough.
Shadepelt bunts against him. "We got a few flowers," she says, flicking her tail at Stormheart, who has been tasked with actually carrying them. "All safe ones. Add some color."
Stonefur purrs. They have all lost dens and decorations. Tigerstar was a ThunderClan cat, all biting practicality, and had not understood family, and ShadowClan did not understand sentiment. They have only begun to rebuild.
"Thank you," he says.
Shadepelt twitches an. "It's the least I can do." She turns away from him. "Ready, Stormheart?"
Mistyfoot spends the next few days in anxious pacing. She remakes her nest, then stares at it in a mix of shock and horror. Feathertail stays by her side, and Stonefur asks Skyheart to assign patrols.
Stonefur finds Mistyfoot staring across the river, in a rare moment of isolation. She purrs when she sees him, her head leaning against his.
"You alright?" he asks, wrapping his tail around her.
"I don't know." She takes a breath. "I'm not sure it matters."
Stonefur purrs softly. "Are you — thinking about leaving?'
"I don't know." Mistyfoot inclines her head, pressing her forehead against him. "I don't..." She stops purring. "I don't think so."
He tries to remember how this went the first time. It wasn't even a year ago, he thinks, anger twisting in him. Mistyfoot should be preparing for their warrior ceremonies, not preparing to give birth again. But like everything, nothing is the same.
Mistyfoot takes a shuddering breath. "I don't know how to do this again," she says. "And my kits and Oakheart and Greypool are all gone and—" She takes another breath, this one steadier. "How am I supposed to do this again, Stone?"
He wishes he had an answer for her.
When Mistyfoot kits, Stonefur has to pull Feathertail away.
"She needs space," he soothes. Feathertail whines.
"I'm fine, minnow," Mistyfoot says, her voice strained.
"Feathertail," Mudfur says gently, "there's a pile of raspberry leaves in my den. Can't miss them. They're spiky, and soft to touch. Can you grab them?"
She looks at Mistyfoot, saying nothing.
Stormheart taps his tail on Feathertail's shoulder, nudging her out of the den. Stonefur blinks sat him, grateful.
"Why'd you send her away?" Mistyfoot asks. She gasps, her stomach contracting. "Is something wrong?"
"Everything is fine," Mudfur says. Mistyfoot's eyes close. "The first kit is coming."
"I know," Mistyfoot hisses. "This isn't my first time."
Stonefur glances at Mudfur. "What do I do?"
"We wait." Mudfur is watching Mistyfoot intently. He's worried about how she'll react when the kits are born, and he's not as subtle as he thinks.
"We found them," Stormheart says. Feathertail puts a mouthful of leaves down next to Mudfur, glancing towards Mistyfoot. Stormheart stays next to her, and Feathertail sits to the right of Stonefur. She lays her head on his shoulder, the way she would with Mistyfoot, and he glances at her, surprised.
"Head first," Mudfur says quietly. If Mistyfoot hears, she does not acknowledge him.
(Mistyfoot stays quiet until the first kit is delivered, and Stonefur hears her whisper, "Greypool," in the smallest voice she has.)
Mistyfoot’s eyes are closed, and Feathertail moves tenderly, touching her nose to Mistyfoot’s temple.
“Someone needs to clean her,” Mudfur says.
That means Stonefur or Stormheart. Mistyfoot has buried her face in Feathertail’s side, a strange reversal that, out of context, would be comic.
"Do you want to see them?" Feathertail asks softly. Stonefur licks the she-cat, placing her beside her brothers. Feathertail leans her head on Mistyfoot's shoulder, and Mudfur beckons him outside the den before Mistyfoot can answer.
"She might reject them," Mudfur says, his voice quiet and serious as ice on the river. "Usually, I wouldn't worry about a second litter, but..." He sighs. "Keep an eye on them. Make sure — if nothing else, that she lets them nurse."
Something grim and angry twists in Stonefur. He remembers the pride in Mistyfoot's eyes when her first litter was born, how she purred when he first visited them, her tail curled protectively around the kits.
"I will," he promises.
Mudfur's whiskers twitch. "I'll give you all some space, then. Tell Mistyfoot I'll check on the kits tomorrow."
Mosspelt approaches Mudfur as he returns to his den, and Stonefur takes a moment to breath. What have they done to you?, he thinks, but it is worse this time, because he has an answer.