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Cause I could touch a hundred thousand souls
But none of them would ever feel like home
And no matter how far and wide I roam
You're the only one I'll ever know
- PVRIS
It was early in the morning, the sky dark and the city in it's quietest hour.
Arthur had woken suddenly; Merlin was whimpering, pitiful sounds as he twisted in the bedsheets, sweating and trembling. His breathing was heavy and his face scrunched with distress. He started muttering, indistinguishable words until they got louder.
"No," he thrashed. "No. Please, no."
Merlin's fingers started moving, nails raking lines on his wrists as he clawed there. It was a bad one, he hadn't had one like this in weeks.
Arthur rolled over to him. "Merlin," he whispered. "Merlin, wake up. It's a dream, wake up. I'm here, Merlin."
Merlin jolted, a panicked gasp leaving him as he sprang into wakefulness. His breathing was rapid, chest rising and falling.
Arthur's hand gently stroked his shoulder as he curled closer.
"Hey, you were scratching again." Arthur tells him softly.
Merlin looks down to the bright red marks where his nails had ripped at himself. He looked ashamed.
Arthur rolled over and took the cream out of the bedside drawer. Merlin shuffled back against the pillows and held his hands out. It had become something of a routine.
Merlin didn't take his eyes off Arthur. His heartbeat was visible in his throat. Arthur took deep breaths himself, hoping Merlin would subconsciously copy.
He was gentle as he applied the cream, thumb rubbing it into Merlin's skin in soothing circles, half holding his hand as he did so.
"Thank you," Merlin started. Arthur tried hard to concentrate on Merlin's hand. If he looked at him now, Merlin would close up. He'd learned not to push the subject of Merlin's dreams.
They settled back down on their sides, pressed close. Merlin's hand was still in Arthur's under the covers.
Arthur waited.
"You were gone," Merlin began, a small lump forming in his throat. He swallowed. "I woke up by the lake, I could see you fading back to Avalon. It felt so real, like you were really disappearing."
Merlin's hand shifted, moving out of Arthur's grasp to rest against his chest. He hid his face in Arthur's neck, his ear pressed against Arthur's pulse.
"Sometimes I think you never came back," Merlin confessed in a quiet whisper. "I've been alone for so long. You could be a ghost or a figment of my own imagination. I don't care, I'd still be grateful. It's hard to believe you truly returned to me."
Arthur's hand curled around Merlin's where it was resting over Arthur's heart. "I'm real, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
He tilted Merlin's face towards his and their lips met softly, the covers warm around them.
"Avalon isn't my home, you are. I don't belong there anymore, I belong with you." He kissed Merlin's forehead. "Now get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, always."
"Love you," Merlin murmered and snuggled into Arthur's embrace. Arthur held him tight. Merlin fell asleep again, encircled in Arthur's arms. No more dreams haunted his sleep.